Posted:
hey all. one of the ways in which a mango that is not alphonso can be readily consumed is as a mango smoothie. and mom makes the best -- with fresh ginger and mint and greek yoghurt and honey and ice. it tasted good. considering it was the first serious food i've had in four days, i guess that should not be surprising, no? 😆 what was even nicer was that her royalness, my pcp, found time in the middle of her busy life to come home and hold my hand as i watched the days of the show that i had missed.
i'm not supposed to be doing non-sleeping things much, so i guess i'll stick with the big things for these shows. 'cause i'm seriously bugged at how they're dragging out telling us the real story -- ie, what was it that started off the six-years of separation that prem-heer-are-one had to go through. good thing i was attacked by the pneumonia. else i'd have had a real tough time keeping my hair on and intact during the shows this week! er... one way or the other. 😆
21 jul '09
* prem thing: he did all that fire in front of heer, telling her that she'd have to come to him. but the first thing he does when he reaches home is to collapse on pbauji's shoulder and cry??! *sigh* since when has boss-prem been so... needy? oh well. i guess after six years of living in a self-imposed emotional prison, and then finding out he's got a little kid, who sasses him and calls him khadoos, and his heart wants nothing to do with him, i guess the guy is entitled to ... vent a little. 😆
* heer thing: she does all that pushing and shoving in front of prem with full conviction. but she has to keep reminding herself that she has only chahat in her life, and that prem is not the guy who her precious chahat is safe with? felt totally contradictory with the heer in front of prem. why does she have to keep telling herself this stuff?
i dunno 'bout you -- but prem and heer were both ... strange this week.
* prem thing: i loved how he begged heer in his mind not to keep him and his apart. and so i loved it even more how he was stern and point-blank with gaali-maa that chahat was heer's daughter. and her daughter alone. not gaali's granddaughter. nor his daughter. prem! that must've cost something to say -- but of all the things that prem did this week, this was the most ... noble! for the rest, man, has prem played low and dirty!? 😆
* big thing: oooh! pbauji played cupid -- and man! is he a better strategist compared with any of his sons!?! he was brilliant! the only thing that puzzled me is how he knew that gaali-maa had organised this marriage bureau thing for prem. it was almost as if he was reading her mind! but man! loved the idea that he is watching gaali-maa's every move. loved the idea that he actually did the sensible thing and called up the agency. loved the way he manipulated prem so that prem was all fluffed up and ready for a fight by the time that he reached the bureau.
* little thing: heh. i loved that ''aunty in yellow'' took over prem the moment he said his name. if there is one thing that i enjoy in the show, it's how they tend to have strangely real and therefore immensely funny characters. i think i like this yellow-aunty almost as much as i like mr. walia! 😆
* big thing: 'kay, i seriously want to know how much rehersing goes into the prem-bumps-into-heer-and-they-spin-into-each-other's-arms shots! no, truly! they're turning it into a dance form, donchya think? i want to know how many takes they do before they get this stuff just-so. 😆
* prem-heer thing: the best thing in that moment though was the way they both were sooo startled at seeing each other there. prem wondering what the heck heer was doing in a marriage bureau -- was there a ripple of fear that she had actually followed up on his advice and had come seeking to get married again?? heer wondering what the heck prem was doing in the marriage bureau -- the strange thing was: the only sense i got from her was that she was upset thinking that prem was following her around! was i the only one who felt that she didn't have even the remotest sense that he might be there to find a girl to get married? 'cause man! she looked so shocked when yellow-aunty introduced her and prem! wooohooo! heer was so taken aback!
* boss-prem thing: one thing i must say for prem -- he is quick to catch on, and play a situation to his advantage. he may have been thrown off track with meeting heer at the bureau. but man! he was flying with what pbauji had sent him into! it was like he took two micro-seconds (and that smile! omg! prem!!!) to catch on. and even less to figure the make-heer-jealous-angle it presented. but what was rather new -- and i must admit, made me grin -- was how he was totally enjoying the advantage of having taken heer by surprise. go boss-prem! missed you...
poor heer. all she can do is watch for prem's moves and react to them now. poor heer... *thinking* lucky heer. 😆
* little thing: oh, i just had to include this little thing -- both heer and prem call their little one ''beta''. how sweet!!! 😍
22nd jul '09
* heer thing: and her life just keeps getting more and more difficult, doesn't it? first prem comes back, with all his fiery vows of still loving her after all this time, totally ignoring her apparent hatred of him, her fierce intent to keep him away from her life, her tears! which prem cannot bear, totally ignoring all this to keep coming back again. and again. and again. and now, there is the other part of the juneja family that she is closest to -- her father's best friend, her father substitute.
and this pbauji is one manipulative critter -- with none of prem's qualms about needing to run away from heer's tears. heh. it was amazing how pbauji just kept being a masterful orchestrator of heer's feelings! just as beautiful -- and much more complex! -- than how he manipulated prem's feelings. superb. i'm all in awe. boss-prem -- you have the looks, but your dad has the brains and the moves, man! take notes, wouldja?? 😆 'cause by the time he is done with her, heer is totally convinced that the love-of-her-life, who she dislikes so much (apparently 😆) that she can't stand the sight even of his shadow!, needs her help to live life again! man! pbauji -- you rock, dude!
* prem thing: 'kay, so is anyone else worried that boss prem would not really be quite that effective without his bauji, his brothers? y'know? all this time, i'd totally accepted that prem was the foundation based on which jzoo worked. but watching prem with his father and his brothers in this tls** period, i've realised that in the matters of business, prem might be the whiz kid. but in the matters of his life, he is dependent on this family of his. he was right -- they are his cornerstone. without them, he is not prem -- just a supremely good looking shell that is prem. 😆
** tls: time line shift
* boss prem thing: maaan! boss-prem is such a ... territorial creature around heer, inn't he?? 😍 i dunno what it is 'bout the guy -- maybe it's that magnificent mane of hair, but prem has always brought to mind the analogy of a lion. even during the ashlesha drama days, watching prem was like watching one of those magnificent creatures -- long, muscled, lazy-eyed around his woman. and watching how boss-prem today -- ''circling'' heer! he looks apparently lazy and casual, but there is a certain ... restlessness in the way he constantly moves around her, without much space for her to move at all. more, every circle feels like it gets smaller and smaller, every turn has him brushing against her somehwere. and this is regardless of where they are! whether she is standing in her own office, or concentrating (apparently! 😆) on her job of getting a girl to match her prem, he is constantly sniffing around heer!😍 leonine is such a perfect term for prem these days, no? and unlike the real creatures, this one feels like he is soft and sweet smelling on the outside, shampooed and clean. but all firm and hard under the surface. like warm velvet covering steel... *ugh. i think i'm too weak to be writing this stuff -- i suddenly feel really dizzy...*
* heer thing: poor heer. *pause* lucky heer. *pauses again* poor heer... 😆 it's like she has never seen this prem before, no? *thinking* 'cause during the muckmeet days, prem was so much at a disadvantage, no? he had no idea who she was! all he was doing was leading heart-first, going after her -- apparently without his head knowing what he was doing at all! 😍 this prem? this prem is different! he knows everything. in fact, he knows a little beyond what the truth is! *duffer! how could he think that he hadsexwithashlesha?!* he knows her antipathy to him. he knows her unwilling love for him. and of course, he is always honest with himself -- and therefore everyone else as well! and that is the most disarming thing about prem, isn't it? this almost unbearable sense that he will not be dishonest -- ever. *well, other than the time that he was dishonest to heer about not knowing that she was lying to him during the samir-in-leather days -- and see where that got him!*
hmm... did that just go from being a heer thing to a prem thing? 😆 oh well, what's the difference anyway? 'cause prem-heer-are-soooo-one! in everything they do!
* prem-heer thing: omg! prem asking heer for a wife who can give him a chahat like daughter.. man! did that scene smoke or what??! when prem stops doing his hyper halfway-to-hip-hop act, and gets to really being boss-prem, he is still capabale of causing a meltdown. and i don't mean 'cause that ridiculous outfit of his -- thick polo shirt with a thick jacket over it -- in the delhi weather before monsoon makes me wonder how frequently hc has to shower between shots! 😆 no, with prem, more than the physique, it's always been in the way he uses his eyes, the tilt of his head towards her, the knowing lilt of his lips, and the way he uses his voice. of course... there's not harm in getting some clothes off... 😍😆 even if it is to shower off some of that sweat.
* prem-polo thing: btw, has he been wearing that ridiculous thick polo for all the episodes this week??! either they've got like 20 of the same piece. or he's using some powerful deodorants in the show! 😆😆😆
* heer-rocking-saris thing: heer, otoh, with that lean body gracefully draped in a sari. makes me want to see a shot of prem holding her close, after he has caught her hair up in a clip and over one shoulder, his hand with all fingers splayed on that glorious expanse of that elegant, bare back. his other hand firm on her waist. *'kay. i'm seriously not strong enough to be having such thoughts just now... mom! medicine!*
* prem-copycatting thing: 😆 y'know? i finally figured what was bothering my head 'bout prem, starting from monday's show! prem is doing that heer trick: of casting his eyes down demurely, and then throwing up a look from underneath his eyelashes!! over and over again! he did it a couple of times on monday. and now he's doing it again!!! omg! prem! stop at once! you're already dangerous with the eyes thing -- please stop learning heer's little eye tricks as well!! 😆
* juneja-men thing: y'know? they are a cute lot, no? even the little gnome, pbauji. 😆
23 jul '09 -- the episode that rocked.
* big thing: so! all the juneja guys are totally fighting to keep gaali-maa out of the prem-wedding picture. 'cause she's totally a freakazoid when it comes to heer and anything to do with heer. is it just the heer's-brother-was-vitchface's-murderer connection? or do they know the whole story? *sigh* they are never gonna tell us the whole story, are they? they're just gonna keep us wrapped up in watching prem fighting to get heer -- and hoping we're gonna forget, right?
* sigh thing: what the heck does gaali-maa want in getting a girl for prem? his happiness? why, oh why, is she apparently fighting so hard for such a pointless thing??
* prem thing: one of the prem things that made me laugh out loudly was the total glee with which he was balling up those photographs and throwin' 'em in the bin!! that was soooooo cute! and of course, so totally not boss-prem like.
but it was totally prem-the-kid-wanna-be like. say! d'you think that there's an internal switch that gets thrown in prem whenever the tukda is around (prem-heer-ka-tukda, aur kaun??! 😆) and man! was she totally like heer today as she yelled at him??! i seriously don't know how they do their casting -- but these guys deserve all the awards in the world possible for casting choices! how can a kid soooooo remind you of both parents so beautifully?? that kid is brilliant as the prem-heer-are-one tukda!
and what was totally awesome to watch in that segment was the play of expressions on prem's face -- from the stunned love to stunned realisation that she was giving him a scolding that he gave her!!! *loved that! go tukda!* to getting back to being totally at her mental age to go running off to/for/after tukda's mama to realising what a hard life the pieces of his heart have been leading compared to him for the last five years.
* tukda thing: she rocks. i don't know what else to say. totally like heer when she's cross. totally like prem when she cries or when she grins. how can they find a kid like that??! how? she rocks.
* prem-heer thing: i swear. put these two together with prem's nose somewhere in the vicinity of heer's cheek and they smoke the screen! but that was another wonderful prem-heer segment -- heer's irritated suspicion that prem is not serious. and boss-prem being totally focussed on getting it through to heer that he is totally serious ... about her! heer had to be pushed to such a point to say ''i may not be a fairy, but you still are bewitched by me.'' and *sigh* boss-prem ''yes, you have. i still live in the thousand dreams and the hundred of thousands of moments we had together. and i know i will live in them again...''
funny, no? prem has been like a rubber-band in these episodes -- stretching credibility on the prem he used to be quite a bit. but in that segment, he was ... perfect. just as perfect as heer was. heer's reaction to prem picking a photograph of the girl was out-of-this-world super, no? and of course, that was the moment when mr. lion-king prem was practically nuzzling heer as he searched out every little nuance of her reaction to his saying that he would be happy to consider that girl as his next wife. oh my... *going weak in the ... well, whatever it is i'm lying on as i type this out... 😆*
heer, otoh, has been ... simmering. she looks like someone who has been stretched to the limits, almost like she's been waiting for prem to reappear -- no? i mean, the rate at which she has blown up at prem to get him to stay away from her? poor heer. i really want to know why she is this focussed on getting prem away from her.
which is why i really loved that last part -- where he walks out with that boss-prem swing, and that boss-prem shadow of a smile. and he just knows she is watching him as he turns back to look at her. and that shadow becomes a proper smile back at her -- but it's not arrogant or silly. that was just boss prem smiling at the lady he wants. and the almost guilty way in which heer backs off, shuts the door and hides in her room. both of them so equally confident about their future -- except those futures are in totally opposite directions! prem-heer! 😍
* little prem thing: just had to say this: loved the way he said ''behave yourself!'' to heer -- on the marriage consultant vs. wife thing.
* little heer thing: heer's still soooo focussed on making sure prem doesn't come back into her life! it's not... (as harry potter would say) normal!
* prem thing: he remains boss-prem all the way to the session with the juneja men -- i thought prem couldn't smoulder without actually being with heer. but when he told pbauji that ''if she says yes, i'll marry her on the spot'' with that look in his eyes, i realised that prem could smoulder just thinking 'bout heer! ooooh...
* tukda thing: omg! tukda rocks with heer as much as she rocks with prem! heer was so like a kid herself when she asked ''didn't you say that he shouted at you in the hotel -- then why did you talk to him??!'' ''i had to, mama -- for you!'' 😆 but the best tukda-line had to be ''i didn't request him, mama. i demanded it of him!'' 'bout telling him to get married. 😆 or the totally calm way she told toto to go to sleep else heer'll yell at toto too! it's like she was totally cool about heer shouting at her... 😆 go, kid!
* weird prem thing: 'kay, seriously? what was with prem in that last segment when he asked heer to come to kasauli?? he knows that is the one thing she has been traumatised by -- she's been freaking out 'bout it to him in every rip-up-prem session she's ever conducted. and he acts silly on the phone to her about it??! what the heck was that stoooopid ''heylo'' for?? and the silly look on his face as he hears her silent agitation on the phone.
i hated that moment. i did. 😛
24 jul '09 -- the weirdest episode ... like ... ever!
* weird prem thing: great. so prem arranges a meeting with his prospective wife and her parents -- in the bedroom where his heer got her heart so broken that she apparently can't accept him back in her life every again.
wonderful. brilliant. and he has not a qualm about it! all the way to the end -- he is totally focussed on getting it through to heer's head that he is really sorry. oh. of course. he doesn't do it directly. he presented all this to heer -- in front of some random girl and her even more random parents!
i thought for a moment -- and figured that prem is desperate. he knows there's no way in heck he'll ever get heer to hear him out on just how he has lived these last six years, unless he does this big elaborate cheat setup! (duffer! how could you have taken six years of your life to stay away from heer??! duffer!!!!!) and man! was it quite the dramatic situation! sheesh!
but seriously! he has pinned his entire hope that heer will consider for a moment that some strange girl is going to think he is worth being forgiven??!
'kay -- i know i'm the one constantly seeing conspiracy theories everywhere. but who else thought that prem already knew the girl when he picked her picture out of the pile? and that he planned this whole weird trip with her and her parents? otherwise his entire bhashan would be toooo weird to be borne. and the leading questions and statements that those people made! i mean, the father asked ''did you tell your wife, or did your wife find out?'' oh, c'mon!!! at least the girl wasn't so obvious when she said that she would probably have forgiven prem...
oh, it had a noble purpose, no doubt -- as i said earlier, it gave him a chance to tear into heer's heart as she listened to just how miserable he has been all these years. and beautiful lines! that ''i was so filled with shame that the only thing that i saw for six years was my shame.'' was incredibly moving.
* brilliant prem-heer moment: heer knows prem so well! she understood exactly what he was doing in setting up the meeting in that bedroom -- that he was getting her to hear his story.
so i thought she was totally right in everything that she said to him when they were together downstairs. it was really cruel of him to have set up that drama -- in that place, in front of other people. but i did feel for what prem said to her then when she asked do you want me to just hurt more by opening this wound up? he said ''you know you don't believe that, heer.'' oh, and it was magical watching heer struggle to not have to admit it! of course, she wouldn't believe that prem would do it to hurt her! she knows that all he is doing was to get back into her life and heart that he was doing it instead. and the way she reacted then just reinforced the feeling that heer is seriously working very, very hard to keep prem out of her life. and it's not just about this sexwithashlesha night. truly.
so, the one place where prem actually did as i'd have expected prem who would do nothing to hurt his heer to behave was when he ran after her as she left the room, as if everything prem said was too much for her to bear. *thinking* hmm. as if. as if! as if she was feeling her steely resolve to keep prem away soften and melt away! ooh... i think i need to wtf. hmmm!
* weird heer thing: 'kay, so prem stands up and effectively declares to the woman he is supposed to be getting into a marriage with (and her parents!) that all he has been doing for the last six years is think about his wife, stress about how pained she has been, to the extent of shutting down for all that time from everything -- and all that heer can use to beat up prem with is that no woman will be able to accept a guy who cheated on his wife once??!
hey-lo! heer!! he just told that dudette that he will never love her. that he has never stopped loving his wife! ever! and you're thinking that she will stress 'cause he once had an affair??! heer, dude! i know you have been using that ''nowomancanevershareahusband'' excuse to push prem away from you. but for crying out loud! change the excuse when there's a better reason to accuse him with, wouldja? of not even trying to convince someone else that he can be a good husband!! like -- he is never ever going to be able to love her if they get married, for one!
* weird prem thing: which makes the way hc and ag played prem and heer in that last scene with the girl terrible! i've never ever seen them get their characters weird -- but prem and heer in that last segment was totally unbelieveable! that was not prem and heer, it was not. stooopid script kahin ka! 😛
which idiot thought up the script for friday's show? seriously?
i mean, i watched the show feeling like my head was being torn and thrown away from my heart. my heart listened to prem saying that he ''didn't ever want to break relationships. i never make relationships to break them.'' and loved it. while my head was on a constant scream about why the heck prem was stabbing at heer's open wounds. and why the heck heer was so focussed on infidelity -- walking right into prem's trap! -- and not the insanity of suggesting marriage to that girl to a guy who was soooo bloomin' obsessed with his first wife!!!
argh!
how weird can this show get? and prem was still wearing that black polo shirt... with a coat and a fire! during delhi summer. hopefully never as weird as this one. man, what a weird episode...
highlight of the week: hmm. prem's face as he listened to chahat saying that her mama had several tensions come the 20th of the month. prem saying that heer was the one with whom he shared a thousand dreams, hundreds of thousands of loving moments that he wanted to live in again. heer's face when prem said that he had found a girl with whom he could consider marriage. prem's face when he realised that he had been set up by pbauji about the marriage bureau's best associate! chahat, the prem-heer-are-one ka tukda -- every scene she was in. 😆 prem thinking there was no way heer would be able to avoid coming into his life, heer thinking there was no way prem could come back into her life, with this girl. 😆 the look in prem's eyes and the pitch of prem's voice as he told pbauji that ''if she said yes, i will marry her then and there.'' heer struggling to control herself hearing prem's voice say that ''i have lived with shame for so long that for six years, i only saw shame in front of my eyes.'' heer demanding that tukda put aside toto and tell her clearly how the heck tukda met with prem juneja. 😆 tukda patiently telling her mama that she didn't ''request that he get married,'' she shouted at him. that she did all for her mama... so sweet. 😍
man. i hope they have a cleaner story next week -- whether i get to watch it or not. and i hope they tell us what gaali-maa did six years ago, why the entire separation had to happen. oh, and why heer is trying that hard to push prem away!
i'm not supposed to be doing non-sleeping things much, so i guess i'll stick with the big things for these shows. 'cause i'm seriously bugged at how they're dragging out telling us the real story -- ie, what was it that started off the six-years of separation that prem-heer-are-one had to go through. good thing i was attacked by the pneumonia. else i'd have had a real tough time keeping my hair on and intact during the shows this week! er... one way or the other. 😆
21 jul '09
* prem thing: he did all that fire in front of heer, telling her that she'd have to come to him. but the first thing he does when he reaches home is to collapse on pbauji's shoulder and cry??! *sigh* since when has boss-prem been so... needy? oh well. i guess after six years of living in a self-imposed emotional prison, and then finding out he's got a little kid, who sasses him and calls him khadoos, and his heart wants nothing to do with him, i guess the guy is entitled to ... vent a little. 😆
* heer thing: she does all that pushing and shoving in front of prem with full conviction. but she has to keep reminding herself that she has only chahat in her life, and that prem is not the guy who her precious chahat is safe with? felt totally contradictory with the heer in front of prem. why does she have to keep telling herself this stuff?
i dunno 'bout you -- but prem and heer were both ... strange this week.
* prem thing: i loved how he begged heer in his mind not to keep him and his apart. and so i loved it even more how he was stern and point-blank with gaali-maa that chahat was heer's daughter. and her daughter alone. not gaali's granddaughter. nor his daughter. prem! that must've cost something to say -- but of all the things that prem did this week, this was the most ... noble! for the rest, man, has prem played low and dirty!? 😆
* big thing: oooh! pbauji played cupid -- and man! is he a better strategist compared with any of his sons!?! he was brilliant! the only thing that puzzled me is how he knew that gaali-maa had organised this marriage bureau thing for prem. it was almost as if he was reading her mind! but man! loved the idea that he is watching gaali-maa's every move. loved the idea that he actually did the sensible thing and called up the agency. loved the way he manipulated prem so that prem was all fluffed up and ready for a fight by the time that he reached the bureau.
* little thing: heh. i loved that ''aunty in yellow'' took over prem the moment he said his name. if there is one thing that i enjoy in the show, it's how they tend to have strangely real and therefore immensely funny characters. i think i like this yellow-aunty almost as much as i like mr. walia! 😆
* big thing: 'kay, i seriously want to know how much rehersing goes into the prem-bumps-into-heer-and-they-spin-into-each-other's-arms shots! no, truly! they're turning it into a dance form, donchya think? i want to know how many takes they do before they get this stuff just-so. 😆
* prem-heer thing: the best thing in that moment though was the way they both were sooo startled at seeing each other there. prem wondering what the heck heer was doing in a marriage bureau -- was there a ripple of fear that she had actually followed up on his advice and had come seeking to get married again?? heer wondering what the heck prem was doing in the marriage bureau -- the strange thing was: the only sense i got from her was that she was upset thinking that prem was following her around! was i the only one who felt that she didn't have even the remotest sense that he might be there to find a girl to get married? 'cause man! she looked so shocked when yellow-aunty introduced her and prem! wooohooo! heer was so taken aback!
* boss-prem thing: one thing i must say for prem -- he is quick to catch on, and play a situation to his advantage. he may have been thrown off track with meeting heer at the bureau. but man! he was flying with what pbauji had sent him into! it was like he took two micro-seconds (and that smile! omg! prem!!!) to catch on. and even less to figure the make-heer-jealous-angle it presented. but what was rather new -- and i must admit, made me grin -- was how he was totally enjoying the advantage of having taken heer by surprise. go boss-prem! missed you...
poor heer. all she can do is watch for prem's moves and react to them now. poor heer... *thinking* lucky heer. 😆
* little thing: oh, i just had to include this little thing -- both heer and prem call their little one ''beta''. how sweet!!! 😍
22nd jul '09
* heer thing: and her life just keeps getting more and more difficult, doesn't it? first prem comes back, with all his fiery vows of still loving her after all this time, totally ignoring her apparent hatred of him, her fierce intent to keep him away from her life, her tears! which prem cannot bear, totally ignoring all this to keep coming back again. and again. and again. and now, there is the other part of the juneja family that she is closest to -- her father's best friend, her father substitute.
and this pbauji is one manipulative critter -- with none of prem's qualms about needing to run away from heer's tears. heh. it was amazing how pbauji just kept being a masterful orchestrator of heer's feelings! just as beautiful -- and much more complex! -- than how he manipulated prem's feelings. superb. i'm all in awe. boss-prem -- you have the looks, but your dad has the brains and the moves, man! take notes, wouldja?? 😆 'cause by the time he is done with her, heer is totally convinced that the love-of-her-life, who she dislikes so much (apparently 😆) that she can't stand the sight even of his shadow!, needs her help to live life again! man! pbauji -- you rock, dude!
* prem thing: 'kay, so is anyone else worried that boss prem would not really be quite that effective without his bauji, his brothers? y'know? all this time, i'd totally accepted that prem was the foundation based on which jzoo worked. but watching prem with his father and his brothers in this tls** period, i've realised that in the matters of business, prem might be the whiz kid. but in the matters of his life, he is dependent on this family of his. he was right -- they are his cornerstone. without them, he is not prem -- just a supremely good looking shell that is prem. 😆
** tls: time line shift
* boss prem thing: maaan! boss-prem is such a ... territorial creature around heer, inn't he?? 😍 i dunno what it is 'bout the guy -- maybe it's that magnificent mane of hair, but prem has always brought to mind the analogy of a lion. even during the ashlesha drama days, watching prem was like watching one of those magnificent creatures -- long, muscled, lazy-eyed around his woman. and watching how boss-prem today -- ''circling'' heer! he looks apparently lazy and casual, but there is a certain ... restlessness in the way he constantly moves around her, without much space for her to move at all. more, every circle feels like it gets smaller and smaller, every turn has him brushing against her somehwere. and this is regardless of where they are! whether she is standing in her own office, or concentrating (apparently! 😆) on her job of getting a girl to match her prem, he is constantly sniffing around heer!😍 leonine is such a perfect term for prem these days, no? and unlike the real creatures, this one feels like he is soft and sweet smelling on the outside, shampooed and clean. but all firm and hard under the surface. like warm velvet covering steel... *ugh. i think i'm too weak to be writing this stuff -- i suddenly feel really dizzy...*
* heer thing: poor heer. *pause* lucky heer. *pauses again* poor heer... 😆 it's like she has never seen this prem before, no? *thinking* 'cause during the muckmeet days, prem was so much at a disadvantage, no? he had no idea who she was! all he was doing was leading heart-first, going after her -- apparently without his head knowing what he was doing at all! 😍 this prem? this prem is different! he knows everything. in fact, he knows a little beyond what the truth is! *duffer! how could he think that he hadsexwithashlesha?!* he knows her antipathy to him. he knows her unwilling love for him. and of course, he is always honest with himself -- and therefore everyone else as well! and that is the most disarming thing about prem, isn't it? this almost unbearable sense that he will not be dishonest -- ever. *well, other than the time that he was dishonest to heer about not knowing that she was lying to him during the samir-in-leather days -- and see where that got him!*
hmm... did that just go from being a heer thing to a prem thing? 😆 oh well, what's the difference anyway? 'cause prem-heer-are-soooo-one! in everything they do!
* prem-heer thing: omg! prem asking heer for a wife who can give him a chahat like daughter.. man! did that scene smoke or what??! when prem stops doing his hyper halfway-to-hip-hop act, and gets to really being boss-prem, he is still capabale of causing a meltdown. and i don't mean 'cause that ridiculous outfit of his -- thick polo shirt with a thick jacket over it -- in the delhi weather before monsoon makes me wonder how frequently hc has to shower between shots! 😆 no, with prem, more than the physique, it's always been in the way he uses his eyes, the tilt of his head towards her, the knowing lilt of his lips, and the way he uses his voice. of course... there's not harm in getting some clothes off... 😍😆 even if it is to shower off some of that sweat.
* prem-polo thing: btw, has he been wearing that ridiculous thick polo for all the episodes this week??! either they've got like 20 of the same piece. or he's using some powerful deodorants in the show! 😆😆😆
* heer-rocking-saris thing: heer, otoh, with that lean body gracefully draped in a sari. makes me want to see a shot of prem holding her close, after he has caught her hair up in a clip and over one shoulder, his hand with all fingers splayed on that glorious expanse of that elegant, bare back. his other hand firm on her waist. *'kay. i'm seriously not strong enough to be having such thoughts just now... mom! medicine!*
* prem-copycatting thing: 😆 y'know? i finally figured what was bothering my head 'bout prem, starting from monday's show! prem is doing that heer trick: of casting his eyes down demurely, and then throwing up a look from underneath his eyelashes!! over and over again! he did it a couple of times on monday. and now he's doing it again!!! omg! prem! stop at once! you're already dangerous with the eyes thing -- please stop learning heer's little eye tricks as well!! 😆
* juneja-men thing: y'know? they are a cute lot, no? even the little gnome, pbauji. 😆
23 jul '09 -- the episode that rocked.
* big thing: so! all the juneja guys are totally fighting to keep gaali-maa out of the prem-wedding picture. 'cause she's totally a freakazoid when it comes to heer and anything to do with heer. is it just the heer's-brother-was-vitchface's-murderer connection? or do they know the whole story? *sigh* they are never gonna tell us the whole story, are they? they're just gonna keep us wrapped up in watching prem fighting to get heer -- and hoping we're gonna forget, right?
* sigh thing: what the heck does gaali-maa want in getting a girl for prem? his happiness? why, oh why, is she apparently fighting so hard for such a pointless thing??
* prem thing: one of the prem things that made me laugh out loudly was the total glee with which he was balling up those photographs and throwin' 'em in the bin!! that was soooooo cute! and of course, so totally not boss-prem like.
but it was totally prem-the-kid-wanna-be like. say! d'you think that there's an internal switch that gets thrown in prem whenever the tukda is around (prem-heer-ka-tukda, aur kaun??! 😆) and man! was she totally like heer today as she yelled at him??! i seriously don't know how they do their casting -- but these guys deserve all the awards in the world possible for casting choices! how can a kid soooooo remind you of both parents so beautifully?? that kid is brilliant as the prem-heer-are-one tukda!
and what was totally awesome to watch in that segment was the play of expressions on prem's face -- from the stunned love to stunned realisation that she was giving him a scolding that he gave her!!! *loved that! go tukda!* to getting back to being totally at her mental age to go running off to/for/after tukda's mama to realising what a hard life the pieces of his heart have been leading compared to him for the last five years.
* tukda thing: she rocks. i don't know what else to say. totally like heer when she's cross. totally like prem when she cries or when she grins. how can they find a kid like that??! how? she rocks.
* prem-heer thing: i swear. put these two together with prem's nose somewhere in the vicinity of heer's cheek and they smoke the screen! but that was another wonderful prem-heer segment -- heer's irritated suspicion that prem is not serious. and boss-prem being totally focussed on getting it through to heer that he is totally serious ... about her! heer had to be pushed to such a point to say ''i may not be a fairy, but you still are bewitched by me.'' and *sigh* boss-prem ''yes, you have. i still live in the thousand dreams and the hundred of thousands of moments we had together. and i know i will live in them again...''
funny, no? prem has been like a rubber-band in these episodes -- stretching credibility on the prem he used to be quite a bit. but in that segment, he was ... perfect. just as perfect as heer was. heer's reaction to prem picking a photograph of the girl was out-of-this-world super, no? and of course, that was the moment when mr. lion-king prem was practically nuzzling heer as he searched out every little nuance of her reaction to his saying that he would be happy to consider that girl as his next wife. oh my... *going weak in the ... well, whatever it is i'm lying on as i type this out... 😆*
heer, otoh, has been ... simmering. she looks like someone who has been stretched to the limits, almost like she's been waiting for prem to reappear -- no? i mean, the rate at which she has blown up at prem to get him to stay away from her? poor heer. i really want to know why she is this focussed on getting prem away from her.
which is why i really loved that last part -- where he walks out with that boss-prem swing, and that boss-prem shadow of a smile. and he just knows she is watching him as he turns back to look at her. and that shadow becomes a proper smile back at her -- but it's not arrogant or silly. that was just boss prem smiling at the lady he wants. and the almost guilty way in which heer backs off, shuts the door and hides in her room. both of them so equally confident about their future -- except those futures are in totally opposite directions! prem-heer! 😍
* little prem thing: just had to say this: loved the way he said ''behave yourself!'' to heer -- on the marriage consultant vs. wife thing.
* little heer thing: heer's still soooo focussed on making sure prem doesn't come back into her life! it's not... (as harry potter would say) normal!
* prem thing: he remains boss-prem all the way to the session with the juneja men -- i thought prem couldn't smoulder without actually being with heer. but when he told pbauji that ''if she says yes, i'll marry her on the spot'' with that look in his eyes, i realised that prem could smoulder just thinking 'bout heer! ooooh...
* tukda thing: omg! tukda rocks with heer as much as she rocks with prem! heer was so like a kid herself when she asked ''didn't you say that he shouted at you in the hotel -- then why did you talk to him??!'' ''i had to, mama -- for you!'' 😆 but the best tukda-line had to be ''i didn't request him, mama. i demanded it of him!'' 'bout telling him to get married. 😆 or the totally calm way she told toto to go to sleep else heer'll yell at toto too! it's like she was totally cool about heer shouting at her... 😆 go, kid!
* weird prem thing: 'kay, seriously? what was with prem in that last segment when he asked heer to come to kasauli?? he knows that is the one thing she has been traumatised by -- she's been freaking out 'bout it to him in every rip-up-prem session she's ever conducted. and he acts silly on the phone to her about it??! what the heck was that stoooopid ''heylo'' for?? and the silly look on his face as he hears her silent agitation on the phone.
i hated that moment. i did. 😛
24 jul '09 -- the weirdest episode ... like ... ever!
* weird prem thing: great. so prem arranges a meeting with his prospective wife and her parents -- in the bedroom where his heer got her heart so broken that she apparently can't accept him back in her life every again.
wonderful. brilliant. and he has not a qualm about it! all the way to the end -- he is totally focussed on getting it through to heer's head that he is really sorry. oh. of course. he doesn't do it directly. he presented all this to heer -- in front of some random girl and her even more random parents!
i thought for a moment -- and figured that prem is desperate. he knows there's no way in heck he'll ever get heer to hear him out on just how he has lived these last six years, unless he does this big elaborate cheat setup! (duffer! how could you have taken six years of your life to stay away from heer??! duffer!!!!!) and man! was it quite the dramatic situation! sheesh!
but seriously! he has pinned his entire hope that heer will consider for a moment that some strange girl is going to think he is worth being forgiven??!
'kay -- i know i'm the one constantly seeing conspiracy theories everywhere. but who else thought that prem already knew the girl when he picked her picture out of the pile? and that he planned this whole weird trip with her and her parents? otherwise his entire bhashan would be toooo weird to be borne. and the leading questions and statements that those people made! i mean, the father asked ''did you tell your wife, or did your wife find out?'' oh, c'mon!!! at least the girl wasn't so obvious when she said that she would probably have forgiven prem...
oh, it had a noble purpose, no doubt -- as i said earlier, it gave him a chance to tear into heer's heart as she listened to just how miserable he has been all these years. and beautiful lines! that ''i was so filled with shame that the only thing that i saw for six years was my shame.'' was incredibly moving.
* brilliant prem-heer moment: heer knows prem so well! she understood exactly what he was doing in setting up the meeting in that bedroom -- that he was getting her to hear his story.
so i thought she was totally right in everything that she said to him when they were together downstairs. it was really cruel of him to have set up that drama -- in that place, in front of other people. but i did feel for what prem said to her then when she asked do you want me to just hurt more by opening this wound up? he said ''you know you don't believe that, heer.'' oh, and it was magical watching heer struggle to not have to admit it! of course, she wouldn't believe that prem would do it to hurt her! she knows that all he is doing was to get back into her life and heart that he was doing it instead. and the way she reacted then just reinforced the feeling that heer is seriously working very, very hard to keep prem out of her life. and it's not just about this sexwithashlesha night. truly.
so, the one place where prem actually did as i'd have expected prem who would do nothing to hurt his heer to behave was when he ran after her as she left the room, as if everything prem said was too much for her to bear. *thinking* hmm. as if. as if! as if she was feeling her steely resolve to keep prem away soften and melt away! ooh... i think i need to wtf. hmmm!
* weird heer thing: 'kay, so prem stands up and effectively declares to the woman he is supposed to be getting into a marriage with (and her parents!) that all he has been doing for the last six years is think about his wife, stress about how pained she has been, to the extent of shutting down for all that time from everything -- and all that heer can use to beat up prem with is that no woman will be able to accept a guy who cheated on his wife once??!
hey-lo! heer!! he just told that dudette that he will never love her. that he has never stopped loving his wife! ever! and you're thinking that she will stress 'cause he once had an affair??! heer, dude! i know you have been using that ''nowomancanevershareahusband'' excuse to push prem away from you. but for crying out loud! change the excuse when there's a better reason to accuse him with, wouldja? of not even trying to convince someone else that he can be a good husband!! like -- he is never ever going to be able to love her if they get married, for one!
* weird prem thing: which makes the way hc and ag played prem and heer in that last scene with the girl terrible! i've never ever seen them get their characters weird -- but prem and heer in that last segment was totally unbelieveable! that was not prem and heer, it was not. stooopid script kahin ka! 😛
which idiot thought up the script for friday's show? seriously?
i mean, i watched the show feeling like my head was being torn and thrown away from my heart. my heart listened to prem saying that he ''didn't ever want to break relationships. i never make relationships to break them.'' and loved it. while my head was on a constant scream about why the heck prem was stabbing at heer's open wounds. and why the heck heer was so focussed on infidelity -- walking right into prem's trap! -- and not the insanity of suggesting marriage to that girl to a guy who was soooo bloomin' obsessed with his first wife!!!
argh!
how weird can this show get? and prem was still wearing that black polo shirt... with a coat and a fire! during delhi summer. hopefully never as weird as this one. man, what a weird episode...
highlight of the week: hmm. prem's face as he listened to chahat saying that her mama had several tensions come the 20th of the month. prem saying that heer was the one with whom he shared a thousand dreams, hundreds of thousands of loving moments that he wanted to live in again. heer's face when prem said that he had found a girl with whom he could consider marriage. prem's face when he realised that he had been set up by pbauji about the marriage bureau's best associate! chahat, the prem-heer-are-one ka tukda -- every scene she was in. 😆 prem thinking there was no way heer would be able to avoid coming into his life, heer thinking there was no way prem could come back into her life, with this girl. 😆 the look in prem's eyes and the pitch of prem's voice as he told pbauji that ''if she said yes, i will marry her then and there.'' heer struggling to control herself hearing prem's voice say that ''i have lived with shame for so long that for six years, i only saw shame in front of my eyes.'' heer demanding that tukda put aside toto and tell her clearly how the heck tukda met with prem juneja. 😆 tukda patiently telling her mama that she didn't ''request that he get married,'' she shouted at him. that she did all for her mama... so sweet. 😍
man. i hope they have a cleaner story next week -- whether i get to watch it or not. and i hope they tell us what gaali-maa did six years ago, why the entire separation had to happen. oh, and why heer is trying that hard to push prem away!
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