gaaah. i'm grumpy still. but i'm really too full of breakfast to actually be very mad at prem and heer. so i'll just say it very loudly at the start of this: (i beg your indulgence as i capitalise) I AM MAD AT PREM AND HEER, OKAY??? erhmm. done.
* heer thing: y'know for all the spit and fire of the thursday episode, man, did she backtrack quickly 'bout leaving or what? 2.5 seconds of persuasion by lj and she's back in the game, feeling miserable for prem and wanting to tell him the truth -- finally!
except. she should
really have done it yesterday itself, no? she really should've... *sigh* i dunno 'bout things that heer builds up as regret. but i am certainly regretting she didn't just tell prem everything yesterday. 😔
* prem thing: the last time he got rip-roaring drunk was... when heer told him she was running a prostitution racket in his hotel, and deserved to be jailed.
seeing prem drunk
then was weird. nothing has changed about it since then. it was weird seeing him drunk
this time too... 😔
* little thing: did anyone really hope that ashlesha was doing a good thing until the very end?
hmmm. no-one, huh? funny how one can be hopelessly hopeful about things like prem-heer-are-one. and have total scepticism that someone like ashlesha (or vitchface or maya) can actually change, no? 🤔
* little thing: man, but was that a supremely fortunate series of events, or what??!
heer is persuaded to go find prem. ashlesha goes to find prem, with the intent of causing trouble between prem and heer. how very fortunate that a landslide intervenes on ashlesha's behalf. and hey! that heer also picks the kasauli log-cabin as ''the last place to find prem''. oooh! i wonder at what point she landed there and actually found that prem was there too. was it before or after she got ig-idiot to bring the whole case, a couple of cops
and that ridiculous hotel manager to land up at the log cabin to explain ''the truth'' to prem...
aiiigh!! man, that was a ridiculous setup! incredibly, incredibly faked-up ridiculous! almost as ridiculous as...
* prem thing: seriously, man! how can you not know if you've actually done it? especially if you're drunk???
or are they trying to tell us that prem has had
such little experience being drunk that he doesn't know whether guys can do ''it'' when being sozzled out of their heads!
but *sigh* how pretty does prem look when waking up with a hangover, no? er... no, no, i hate prem still. no doubts on that score. 😆
* hc-ag thing: these guys
totally insanely rock as prem-heer. insanely.
the one moment that sang with the perfection of their understanding and performance as these characters was that moment where prem ''confesses his guilt'' to heer. almost as heart-rending and stunning as when prem ''confessed his love'' to heer. omg. his voice.. in today's little, his voice won over hers -- marginally, but it won. 😆 that last stutter ''kam... kamre.. kamrey mein'' in reaction to her ''ash.. ash.. ashlesha???'' oh man! i love watching these moments -- even if they are just 5 seconds out of the whole darned show... 😍
and of course,
then there was the last moment when prem
begs -- in such a prem-to-heer way! isn't it strange how ''beg'' for prem-heer means something totally different than for ordinary mortals??😍 -- prem begs heer to forgive him, to come back to him, to not let him live without her. (btw, which was at ambala station??!)
what was really perfect in that moment was how prem's eyebrows went from peak-ish misery (which i really really do
not like -- but the eyebrow peak level was better than at his most irritating...) to straight-incredulity mixed with a tinge of ... omg, was it anger? that heer
expects him to be a god?!
and maybe it was prem realising that heer did indeed think of him as her (god) ram that made him back away? which brings me to what made me angry today. but before we get to that, some ''little things'' to get out of the way.
* little thing: wasn't it terrible watching as heer dropped to the floor seeing ashlesha in the bed that prem slept in, covering her mouth as if to not scream at the pain in her heart? wasn't it even more terrible watching prem just stand there... not doing anything to help heer? as if he knows there is nothing he can do?
it was terrible... i wondered if there was some other reason that he was not going to help heer. hmmmm. stuff to wtf about... 🤔
* little thing: but i loved the way that heer lugged her suitcase down the stairs. but when prem stops her to tell her not to leave him, she is sooo angry-hurt that she leaves the suitcase at his feet! ''here, keep your stuff! i don't want
any memories to this house!'' somehow i thought that was cool...
* little thing: er... is that an extremely understated meher-reaction to heer's leaving the houes or what???! i thought she would go with her... instead she only stands and glares at prem???
*sigh* meher's married home and married family
has become her home and her family?? *sigh*
* little thing: oooh. who else went ''eh???!'' at gaali-maa thinking that she didn't want to see prem miserable, as he got slapped by his father, and shunned by the rest of his family. haven't you got it yet, prem-heer-are-one? that separating them will make him miserable even if lj didn't touch him?
i think at the very least, they could spare us the pathetic attempts at showing that gaali-maa is capable of any remorse -- 'cause i certainly didn't see any. either at that moment. or the moment when she was talking to herself while fawning at the picture of a dead daughter. 🤢
* little thing: did lj today puzzle everyone as he puzzled me? he slapped prem in front of everyone.
but! in the corridors of jzoo, he is urging prem to go get heer. the same way that he urged prem to get heer when she was trying to leave him when she thought that lj would never accept her as prem's wife. and now again...
so, who was the drama of the slapping and stuff for?? hmmmm! more stuff to wtf? 😆
* big thing: (which made me angry at prem and heer) he let her go?? prem let heer go??!! what the...???
i was totally flabbergasted at this. he was right -- one mistake is not enough to wipe out all the love that they have had so far, no? and if he was right, then why didn't he stop her? or ... go
with her??!
i really didn't understand that. so he told us that it is to honour heer's wishes that he will not stop her. in any case, since when has prem respected heer's wishes when she was wrong? 'cause while he was standing letting her go, what i was thinking was ''man! prem! if you know that she will come back into your life; if you are convinced enough to wait for her; why are you letting her go at all???''
* heer thing: of course, she is correct when she asked whether he would forgive her if she made such a mistake. his answer -- ''i can't live without you'' -- was
not the answer to that question. they both knew how prem reacted to thinking heer was ''making a mistake'' with ig-idiot.
and as i said before, i have a feeling that heer really did think of prem as a god -- even after he did the ''wrong'' thing of getting her brother jailed.
but i couldn't help but think that this was a nice way of escaping her own regret -- of not having supressed her own pride and telling prem why she had gone to the hotel that night? 😕
*sigh* well. what's done is done. heer has actually left prem standing at the station, holding her payal as he has done before.
but -- and this is the other thing that made me unhappy with heer and prem's actions today -- why did she drop her payal there? was she trying to show that she is leaving
everything that reminds her of prem? or was she leaving the payal as a sign for him to pick it up? to pick her up? to stop her? or ....
* hate prem-heer thing: argh!! that moment totally wrenched my head! it was so darned ... poignant. and thinking back on it now, i think this is what i truly hate about prem and heer. that sometimes, they just do things where they need you to feel what they are doing. to believe without thought. rather than think about the why's and the wherefore's of it all... 'cause while i was watching it, it felt... just right. in that old prem-and-heer magical way... 😆
'cause what i should've been doing was asking what the heck prem was doing letting heer go out of his life on the basis of a ... technical impossibility *if i understand all the responses to the ''pre bt,lt''!!! 🤣* they are actually making the most beautiful, most perfect lovers on
earth** ever! stay voluntarily away from each other for the most stooooooopid reason on earth! i should have been fuming and sparking and smoking out of the top of my head.
but instead? instead!
i was dreamy-eyed at prem picking up heer's payal and holding it with such longing;
dreamy-eyed at the longing look that heer threw back over her shoulder at her prem;
dreamy-eyed at the longing with which prem wrapped heer's dupatta in his fingers before it slipped out of his fingers... 'cause that's what these two do to me -- melt-down my brain till all that my face can manage is that
dreadful dreamy-eyed look! instead of 😡, i'm 😍
it's seriously official --
i hate prem and heer. *sigh* or has that been official for a while now? 😆
greatest lovers on earth**: can't say anything 'bout great alien love-stories, of course..🤣
highlight of the episode: hmmm.... *going dreamy-eyed again* prem silently picking up heer's payal, giving it all the love that he wants to give heer. 'xcept she has turned away from him - even if it's only for just now. prem silently caressing the ends of heer's dupatta instead of her face. 😍 that terrible yearning sense of being so close, yet so far away... like this time:
oh dear... need to shut down for a while guys. i can feel my brain go... *thud*
Edited by estee - 16 years ago
