New FF: Sau Dard Ch17 pg67 Apr 19 - Page 49

omg jaz....that was such a beautiful yet sad update...👏👏👏 I was crying the whole time...but loved how you described everything. 👍🏼 continue soon...and thanks for the PM...😃



love
Afreen

Jus read all parts I had missed.....sorry for late replying........bahot achcha lagaa...........loved them all............😊

NOTE: I have no real idea about funerals or cremations, I wrote this part to the best of my knowledge but I'm sure there are tons of inconsistencies with what really happens. I tailored it to fit the story line. Anything I have written is not meant to offend anyone. However, if I do end up offending anyone, I'm apologizing in advance.

Present –

To this day Prem still couldn't figure out how he'd gotten through Heer's funeral. To this day he didn't know how he'd made through those first few weeks. Even as he thought about those days now, the pain felt fresh and raw – like someone was stabbing at his heart…again.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Past –

The day that Heer died and that day after had been a blur for Prem. After she had passed, he just sat with her in the hospital room crying is eyes out. He didn't know how much time passed, but was later brought back to reality only when Raaji had come in and put a hand on his shoulder. Prem sat unmoved by Heer's side when the nurses came in a few seconds later and covered Heer's face with the sheet that covered her body. When Nihaal came in to comfort Prem, he finally moved. Prem got up and without a single word to anyone, he simply walked out of the room like a zombie. When Heer had left him, Prem felt like she had taken a big part, if not all, of his soul with her. He may still look like Prem Jhuneja, but on the inside he didn't feel like that anymore – he was empty.

That day, somehow, everyone had managed to keep out of his way. Aaryan and Sonny were sent off to a friend's house because Raaji didn't want the boys around all this as they made funeral arrangements. Chahat was still at the hospital so she was taken care of. Since Heer had died, Prem didn't have the courage to go see his daughter. He feared that maybe, just maybe, if he looked at her, he'd end up hating her for taking Heer away from him.

The day of Heer's funeral, the Jhuneja house was somber. There was nearly pin drop silence – the only sound was the muffled cries of Raaji. Nihaal sat next to Prem, not sure on what to do or how to comfort his brother. Prem just sat staring at the picture of Heer. His eyes were red but dry because he had no more tears to cry.

As he stared at the picture, a part of Prem expected it to come to life and for Heer to jump right out. It was a picture of Heer dressed in a blue and pink saree that Prem had randomly taken. The day it was taken, Prem had given her that saree to wear for a romantic night out. He'd also happened to get a new digital camera that day so as Heer got ready, Prem took shots. This particular shot was one of Heer smiling shyly as Prem paid her a compliment. Her smile was so full of life and happiness, it was a great picture. Pain stabbed at Prem as he realized that that is exactly what it was – a picture, and nothing more.

When Heer's body arrived at home, Prem couldn't bring himself to look at her until it was absolutely necessary for him to do her final rights. Since Heer had died a suhagan, she would be sent away as one also. She lay in front of him dressed in her shaadi ka joda complete with bangles and jewelry. A weak smile broke on Prem's face as he remembered how beautiful she'd looked on their wedding day. It was now up to Prem to add the final touches – her sindoor and mangalsutra. How could he do that? How was he supposed to put on her mangalsutra and sindoor knowing full well that it would be the last time?

Somehow, Prem had managed. When he put on her mangalsutra, he cheated. Heer had two mangalsutras – one from their wedding when Prem had first claimed Heer as his, and the other was a smaller one Heer had picked out herself for everyday use. As much as he tried, Prem couldn't part with the original one. He was already being forced to part with Heer, so he wanted to keep this for himself. He knew how much that small piece of jewelry had meant to Heer, there for it meant everything to Prem. Her original mangalsutra lay safely in his pocket while he put the other one on. Then, with a shaking hand he put on her sindoor.

Once they had reached the place where Heer was to be cremated, Prem began placing one branch of wood at a time on top of her. He only managed to do so because of Nihaal's guidance. As Prem put each piece, Nihaal's hand never left his shoulder. Right before he placed the last piece of wood over her face, Prem took one last look at Heer's face. He took one last look at her pouty lips and remembered how they turned into smiles whenever she saw him or Sonny. He took one last look at her closed eyes and remembered how they used to light up whenever Prem and Sonny planned a surprise for her. He took one last look at her sleeping face, just like he had done nearly every morning since they got married. That is what she was doing now – sleeping peacefully – like an angel.

With an unbelievably heavy heart, Prem placed the last piece of wood over Heer covering her face. As he set fire to the wooden casket that held the love of his life, Prem could hold back no more. He broke down, once again, falling to the floor, shattering to a million pieces.

By the time they had returned home, the night had fallen. Prem walked in to see that Raaji was trying desperately to feed Sonny. From what he heard, Prem figured that Sonny hadn't eaten all day because his Mamma wasn't there to feed him. As soon as he say Prem, Sonny jumped down from his chair and ran to him. Prem hadn't really been paying attention, but was brought back to reality when he felt someone tugging at his pants. Looking down he saw his confused and hurt son looking back at him. Slowly, Prem took Sonny into his arms.

"Papa, where is Mamma?" he asked. "When she comin home? Hungry. Mamma feed me."

"Be a good boy Sonny and eat with Massi," Prem said. His voice soft and cracking because it was the first time he'd spoken all day.

"No Papa…I want Mamma," Sonny pleaded.

"No Sonny," Prem said as he placed him on the floor again. "Go to Massi."

"No! Mamma!" Sonny yelled.

That was it, Prem couldn't take anymore. "No! No Mamma! You have no Mamma any more!" he roared.

Prem outburst caused Sonny to run from Prem broken hearted, while a horrified Raaji and Nihaal looked on. Prem knew that what he did was wrong. Sonny only had him now. A minute later, Prem made his way to the boys nursery where he found Sonny sitting near the window holding his favorite teddy bear – one that Heer had give him. Prem went and picked Sonny, then sat in a rocking chair in a corner of the room with his son on his lap.

"I'm sorry Beta," Prem said. "Papa didn't mean to yell at you." It was then that Prem noticed Sonny's tear streaked face. Guilt plunged like a dagger in his chest as he wiped the tears. "Don't cry, Papa said sorry naa."

"I no crying cuz you yell Papa," Sonny said as he sniffled. "I crying cuz you said I have no Mamma."

Prem felt a tug at his heart strings. How did he say such a horrible thing to his son? He felt like the worlds biggest bully at the moment.

Pulling Sonny into a hug Prem said, "No Beta, you have a Mamma. You will always have a Mamma."

"But where Mamma?" Sonny asked. "Mamma mad at me? Tell Mamma come home, Sonny be good boy…promise."

Prem could feel the tears sting his eyes. "No, Mamma cant come home now…"

"Mamma no love Sonny?" he asked with his big eyes staring right at Prem.

"No, don't ever thin that," Prem said instantly. "Mamma loved Sonny very much. But…Mamma can't come home because God called Mamma to him. God needs help so Mamma had to go to God."

Sonny crossed his arms and frowned as he said, "But I need Mamma too!"

"Mamma is always with you…in your heart," Prem said as his voice cracked.

"In here?" Sonny asked as he pointed to his chest.

"Yes, right there," Prem said as he put a hand over Sonny's. "And, if you want to see Mamma you can see her too."

"How?" Sonny asked, looking confused.

"You see that bright star in the sky?" Prem asked as he pointed to it.

Following Prem's finger Sonny said, "Ooo…yeah…that one." He too pointed to the sky.

"Yes that one," Prem agreed. "That one is your Mamma. She is looking at you from there so you can see her too."

"I can see Mamma in the sky," Sonny said, amazed. After a short pause he added, "So…Mamma still love Sonny but God called Mamma." It was like he was getting all the facts straight.

"Yes."

"I still good boy?" Sonny asked.

"Yes Beta," Prem answered with a smile. "You are still a good boy…you are Mamma's good boy."

"Yes," Sonny said as he nodded his head feverishly, "Mamma's good boy."

Finally, there was a smile on his face.

That night, father and son fell asleep on the chair. The clung to each other in the absence of the one person they both loved unconditionally and needed.

Somehow, the next month or so went by. Chahat had still been at the hospital because she'd come down with jaundice and was taking a little longer to recover. Raaji had gone to see her everyday – Prem only went once in a while, that too when she was sleeping. One day the hospital called him and told him that Chahat was ready to be discharged. Prem had begged Raaji to go and get her because he just couldn't go. However, Raaji had refused point blank.

"Bhabi please," Prem pleaded.

"Its time you acted like a father to that little girl," Raaji said. "Heer died so you could be a father to that child. Don't let her death be in vain."

Prem had managed to muster up the courage to go. He took Sonny with him, who was excited to finally go get his baby sister home. Once they reached the hospital parking lot, Prem began to stall. He checked and rechecked the baby car-seat to make sure it was secure. He made sure he had a full tank of gas, he checked his tires. When he checked the levels of his air freshener, he knew he was going too far.

Once in the hospital, he took his sweet time filling out the discharge paper work, while one nurse looked after Sonny in the nursery. It was almost an hour later when he walked into the nursery. At one end he saw a nurse holding a little pink bundle and next to her was a very proud, yet inquisitive Sonny peeking in. Once the nurse saw Prem, she got up from her chair and headed over to him. Sonny was literally jumping for joy at this point. Prem hesitated momentarily when the nurse attempted to hand him the baby. Finally he held out his arms and the nurse gently placed the bundle into his arms.

The baby stirred in Prem's arms and for a second, he was unsure of what to do. Slowly, Chahat opened her eyes and looked right at Prem. At that moment, Prem's breath caught in his throat. Familiar eyes looked back at him – chocolate in color and almond in shape, just Heer's had been. Then, as if on cue, she smiled at him like she knew she was going home – like she knew him. At that moment, Prem was a goner. He knew that he could never do anything but love this child – his child. Heer was right, Chahat – their daughter Chahat – would give his live meaning again. She'd be his new reason for living. After all she was a living, breathing symbol of his love for Heer – his Chahat.

With Chahat cradled in one arm and Sonny holding his other hand, for the first time since Heer died – which seemed like forever – Prem smiled a real smile. He looked at his children and the smile grew. He knew that life would never be complete without Heer, but with their children by his side, he'd be ok. He had to be ok, for Heer's sake.

As Prem walked out of the hospital, he felt Heer. He felt like she was right there next to him holding onto Sonny's other hand. Maybe it was because Heer's mangalsutra was sitting in his coat pocked, by his heart. Or maybe he was going crazy. Either way, he believed she was there just like she said she would be with them – always.

Prem saw hope again…he saw life again.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Present –

It was hard to imagine that when he brought Chahat home, he'd been happy given the circumstances. He was sure that God was done testing him and hurting him. He was sure that now God would send happiness into the lives of his children and contentment into his own life. He was sure that while he'd miss Heer for as long as he lived, he'd be able to get through life with his children. Looking back now…he couldn't have been more wrong.

JAZ

nice update !
Thanks for pm

awesome


thnx 4 the pm


update soon


Kamal

amazing update...👏 loved the descriptions....sonny asking about heer was so sad...but loved how prem handled him...it was so cute...😳 continue soon...and thanks for the PM...😊



love
Afreen

hey jaz ..............

Fantastic update.........prem's condition was very well written nd expressed 👏 .......wen prem explained abt heer to sonny i just cudnt stop crying 😭 ......... chahat opened her eyes nd smiled at prem,that was sooo touching........prem is in sooo much pain.....loved raaji's nd nihal's support for prem........pls do cont asap.......cant wait for ur updates....

.awesome....prt.....u know this is ur second ff tat prem is in pain nd i cant handle tat....bt its simply amazing...da emotion phrase tat hes been through nd da way u describe is so marvelous ....cant really describe in words....bt m happy tat de didnt consider chahat as cause of his heer's death...nd luv da way rajji pus some sense in to his mind ....for accepting da bitter truth of life....