FF: Tujh Mein Rab...[Ch 3 -Pg 6] Mar 20 - Page 2

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Anhdara13 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#11

Di! YAY another FF! I love the way you write.. Aw, and you dedicated it to all your readers.. Cho chweet..

The concept sounds so interesting.. I cannot wait to see how the story will progress.. And the inclusion of Yug-Vrinda will be interesting!
Love the story Di.. Update soon..
Love,
Radz
cute_bear thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#12
another ff...hw uch have u gt nw 2....how do u come up with these stufff...honestly i would hardly be a ble to ryt one decent ff and u have gt 3 brilliant ones on the go...and loved the teaser ......so both prem and heer do not believe in marriage....heer seems to believe in love marriages but prem wants to get married after 50....its ok prem ill wait for u until your 50....nywyz loved the teaser....carry on wid the story quick...cant wait to see how prem and heer come together to become one premeer....i wonder how they will meet and what happens....and loved the title...tujhe me rab dikhta hai.....ok nw enough of my bak bak....i'll stop now
sonali09 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#13
aaaaaahh! shifu! (hope you dont mind me calling you that😳) the teaser was mind-blowing!!!!!👏 yaaay! yug-vrinda and prem-heer?! luv the jodis!😳 luved it so so so much! hehehe now i know why teasers are called teasers.....will be waiting for the 1st part!😃
~sonali
Edited by sonali09 - 16 years ago
indiandoll89 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#14
Awww Shifs!! another ff! 😃 God I'm sooo excited for this! 😛

As expected, totally different from the others! 😃 And aww you dedicated it to us! 😳 How shweet!😳

Storyline...wow! 😛 Who'\d have thought Prem and Heer would be saying things like this, can't wait to see how they come together!!!

Love you,

Meera😳
Deizy thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#15
Hi...another ff:-)
loved the teaser....plz update the first part soonn.
Pyari_Zahra thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#16

*hides face in guilt* LOL, ok I put my hands up, yes I have read ur other FFs, but have been a silent reader, but not to worry I will try to comment on them now!! 😉

Wow, this new FF seems sooo interesting- You love portraying Prem as a cool dude with an attitude, don't you, lol?? Not to worry, I love an attitude filled Prem!! ☺️ Woah, both Prem and Heer think marriage is for idiots, I agree, marriage is one thing you can live without but it is also the one thing you can't live without, LOL!! I wonder what brings them together, maybe their friends?? But Prem and Heer are one, so n matter what, they will always come together in the end!! But wow, Shifali the story looks very captivating now, can't wait to read on!!
Love Zahra xx
asyasahil928 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#17
nice beginning...it sounds different 👏 plz continue soon
-Jwalamukhi- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: Pyari_Zahra

*hides face in guilt* LOL, ok I put my hands up, yes I have read ur other FFs, but have been a silent reader, but not to worry I will try to comment on them now!! 😉

Wow, this new FF seems sooo interesting- You love portraying Prem as a cool dude with an attitude, don't you, lol?? Not to worry, I love an attitude filled Prem!! ☺️ Woah, both Prem and Heer think marriage is for idiots, I agree, marriage is one thing you can live without but it is also the one thing you can't live without, LOL!! I wonder what brings them together, maybe their friends?? But Prem and Heer are one, so n matter what, they will always come together in the end!! But wow, Shifali the story looks very captivating now, can't wait to read on!!
Love Zahra xx

😆😆Our Prem is soo perfect that I don't want to kill myself by making changes...so yea...no changes on Prem😆 Thanks Zahra for the thumbs up!😆
-Jwalamukhi- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#19
So, the Teaser on Pg 1 is actually Chapter 1. So this is a continuation of Ch 1.
Chapter 2
***Prem's POV***
She moved towards the crowd to the dance floor and I stood there taken aback by her statements. I thought about her and me, together...whoosh, I could see all those faces of girls and guys, jealous. I grinned at myself. She is my girl. My girl. I fixed the collar of my hoodie and walked towards her.
I came and stood behind her. Due to the fans, her hair kept swinging back and touching my face. And for some reason, I liked it. It felt amazing. The fragrance was like roses. I closed my eyes and was lost in the fragrance of her hair. Just then she turned around and her hair flung away from my face and I was visible to the cold atmosphere again. We were now facing each other. She had baby chocolate eyes, crystal clear skin and she was not wearing any make-up aswell. Just a simple lip gloss.
I smiled and put foward my hand for her to shake. She seemed hestitant and didn't take my hand but still smiled. She had the cutest smile but some how it looked more like a smirk then a smile. I ignored my thoughts and she folded her arms around her chest and kept mum. I still had my hand hanging so I placed it back into my hoodie. Now all the people were staring at me and staring at me with wide eyes. I stopped smiling.
"Hi"
She didn't say anything at first but finally said "Hello"
Step 1 clear. Chal dude, woo her aswell.
"I am THE Prem Juneja"
I emphazied the word THE to let her know the difference between other Prem's and myself. I didn't take my hand out to shake. I was embarrssed enough and if this girl, who ever she was, didn't pay any heed to me, she will have to pay for it and that too in the ugliest manner ever.
"Hello THE Prem Juneja"
I let our a bitter laugh and rephrased my sentence.
"It is just Prem Juneja"
"Hi it is just Prem Juneja"
I took a quick glance around and found everyone staring at us. I was getting angry but this girl HAD to go out with me. Rep ka question hai.
"My name is Prem Juneja"
"And I am Heer Mann. Nice to meet you."
"Hey, you new here?"
She didn't say anything at first.
"Ya"
"Cool. I was just wondering if you'd like to go out with me, you know, just to tour Mumbai"
Heer didn't react. And behind her I could se Yug with a tensed look on his face while the girl beside him, Heer's friend I think giggled. I wondered about what they were talking about and what Heer was thinking.
***3rd person POV***
Vrinda giggled as Prem tried to tell Heer his name. Yug looked embarrssed.
"What is Prem doing?" He mumbled to himself but loud enough for Vrinda to hear.
"Stupidity"
She giggled and glanced at Yug. They stared at each other and smiled while "Pehli Nazar Mein" instrumental played in thier hearts. Vrinda snapped out of thier romantic mood as they heard Prem asking Heer out for a date.
"...go out with me, you know, just to tour Mumbai"
Yug and Vrinda turned anxious to hear Heer's reply. Vrinda let out a small giggle and Yug turned to face her, worried about Vrinda's mental state.
"What happened? You gone mental?"
"No yaar, its about Prem"
Yug got worried while Vrinda kept laughing. He didn't know if he should be happy seeing Vrinda called him as "yaar" or worried because of the Vrinda's last bit about Prem.
"Why? What about Prem?"
"Oh nothing. He doesn't know what he is doing, does he?"
Vrinda tried to surpress her laughter while Yug looked worried.
***Prem's POV***
Why is Yug so worried? Why is the girl, Vrinda I think giggling? Why isn't Heer responding to me? The questions raced through my mind without an end.
***Heer's POV***
I tried to hold back my laughter. I folded my arms around my chest as Prem brought his hand forward for me to shake. God knows how long I had waited for this exact moment to come. And finally, the time had come. He started to introduce himself but I wasn't an easy catch. The anger was catching up in his eyes and that was what I wanted. He was getting frustrated, embarrssed, nervous...all the words that he said don't exist in his dictionary. He spoke again.
"My name is Prem Juneja"
So finally he got his grammer right. I'd pass him with 50 % marks.
"And I am Heer Mann. Nice to meet you."
Nice? It is nice meeting Prem? Since when?
"Hey, you new here?"
New? My foot. But don't worry Mr. Er-what-ever-your-name-is, after a while even you will feel very new and fresh. I smiled at him, trying to hold back my disgust and anger.
"Yes"
And the final moment arrived. He asked me out on a date.
"...wondering if you'd like to go out with me..."
My mind was filled with anger. Disgust. Rudeness. Horror. Bitterness. The moment had now arrived for him to know who this Heer Mann really was.
***Prem's POV***
I know it will be a Yes. No one ever has the courage to say NO to PREM JUNEJA. I didn't have to wait for a YES from her mouth. She will obviously say yes to me but now, I was getting strange feelings about her. She didn't seem like the Heer at the entrance or the Heer that had made those statements. She was someone else. Totally different. I glanced at my watch. It was 11:59pm. For God sake, I had to get a kiss at 12am. Will she hurry up?
The countdown began...
***3rd person POV***
Heer's bitterness counted the numbers...10...9...8....7...
Prem's restlessness counted the numbers...9...8....7...6...
Yug's nervousness and Vrinda's giggliness counted the numbers...6...5....4....3....
***Prem's POV***
2....I could hear the screams and shouts of the New Year Partiers as they said good bye to 2008 and got ready to welcome 2009 after a second. As I got up to kiss Heer...1! She raised her hand and ran it through my cheek. I had just been slapped.
~End of Ch 2~
-Garima- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#20
Reserved

IM BACKKKK!!!!!! *says loudly* hehehe😆😆

OMG!!!!!! HEER slapped Prem??? LMAO that was hilarious dude, him getting humiliated infront of everyone and that too on New Years!! hahahah...i couldnt stop laughing...but wow Heer and Prem really hve a diff personality...cant wait to read more about their chemistry...hehehe

byes
Garima😊
Edited by srklover93 - 16 years ago

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