Episode 12-30-13
Our Bollywood and Hollywood movies are full of it. In fact, they dedicate a full song to manofying a girl when she rootofies. Hindi soaps are full of it - emotional blackmails by all females and men just succumb to it, or turn a deaf ear.
It is only too easy to compel a sensitive human being to feel guilty about anything. Emotional blackmailers may make you feel like you owe them, or that if you do not do what they want you to do, they will take away their love or approval.
Saachi opines that the bottom line of her love is one basic threat, "If you don't behave the way I want you to, you will suffer." She will often take the intimate, embarrassing moments of Dhruv life that he has shared with her and "Often she know the deepest secrets. And no matter how much she care about him, when she fear she won't get her way, she use this intimate knowledge to shape the threats that give her the payoff she want - our compliance." The emotional blackmail becomes evident in her relationship. It may often be very difficult to detect. Why is this? It enlightens us that it nearly impossible to see how she is manipulating Dhruv, because she lay down a thick fog that obscures her actions. In this sense is using fog as both a metaphor and symbolism in trying to depict the confusion she create in Dhruv and how he will act as a "lens" for burning it off.
She has "pump an engulfing FOG into their relationship, ensuring that we will feel afraid to cross them." She use emotional blackmail to control to ensure her own happiness. Dhruv who is susceptible to this blackmail is the one who care about Saachi and will not appear selfish or thoughtless. Also he is the individual who is sensitive to criticism. He has end up very stressed and anxious because of the ongoing internal battle between what they want for themselves, and what others want of them. Unfortunately, Saachi has attached herself in a codependent way to Dhruv. She has unmet needs that she expect Dhruv to fill. She is using fear, obligation and guilt in their relationship, ensuring that Dhruv feels afraid to cross them, obligated to give them their way and feeling guilty if they don't and to accept her as she is.
Dhruv need to begin setting boundaries, explaining that he must live his own lives free of the constant evaluation by her. He will show his love, support and friendship in his own ways, not according to the rules of another. Also for Dhruv trying to set clear boundaries with Saachi is challenging, for she will up her demand. However, once she realize that the threats will not work, she may voluntarily surrender to a more healthy way of relating.
My view: 12-31-13 beginning - Dhruv rehearse the conflict in his mind, he's actually re-traumatizing his body, over and over again. When a conflict is actually happening, his mind knows that there is a beginning to the experience, and an end to it. But when he imagine the scenario in his mind, there is no ending, so it just keeps going on and on.
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