A column - Page 14

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Pyaar Ki Ek Anmol Kahaani

We arrive at Shah Mansion at precisely 8am and on entering, we asked for Dadiji. A devastatingly handsome man opened the door and we are speechless for a few moments, he introduced himself as Ramu Kaka and I must admit ladies...he had me at Namaste.

I was chatting happily to my producer Rishi when suddenly he yelped. It seemed the very woman we were searching for had found us. She placed herself comfortably in Rishi's lap. His eyes bulged as he accepted the weight, gasping for air.

I heard a creaking under me and promptly stood up, least the couch collapsed. I was in horror as she blinked coquettishly at my bespectacled, 4 foot 2 inch producer. It seems this lady doesn't discriminate, after being treated to the delectable Ramu Kaka and other hotties on the show; she still had an appetite for Rishi.

Her ample chest heaved in delight as Rishi's hand caressed her back in an attempt to steady himself. She cackled in what I could only perceive to be an effort at flirtation. Perhaps she should have taken lessons from her other beau Ramu, for whom I waited anxiously to return with the tea and who, had turned me to mush with a look.

Rishi had begun to turn blue now and I knew I had to save him, if only I knew how. I was saved from my dilemma when Ramu re-entered. I watched mesmerised as his white hair blew seductively though there was no wind and he wiped his forehead (all in slow motion) with the red cloth that hung on his shoulder.

I hadn't realised when I had let my sari pallu slip, and I stood there waiting for Ramu to address me. I closed my eyes as I felt Ramu's hands ran up my arms, slowly placing my pallu back in place. "Saadi sambhal ke..." whispered a thick voice in my ear. Even his voice was sexy. I lazily opened my eyes and turned to find Dadi looking back at me.

She captivated me with those green lidded eyes and pencilled in eyebrows, I tried to resist but her pull was magnetic. She leaned in ever so slowly and all thoughts of Ramu left me as I watched her double chin quiver and I wanted nothing more than to disappear in those luscious rolls of fat.