Originally posted by: Srijeeta06
I am really eager to know about your research results.
Institution of marriage as a whole has very diverse views among different age groups in today’s world.
Waiting to know your views and of course the results of the research that you did.
hey Srijeeta - was just about to sign off… let me quickly say something, pls bear with me -
As a single woman currently by choice, I must admit I have had the luxury of being financially independent so I have the capability of doing my own thing and not being bothered by any questioning, the financial independence in a very important way has contributed to me gaining a thick skin. I have had two very very important romantic relationships in my life, that didn’t work out. I am currently in a casual dating phase where I make it clear I have no intention of marriage. But I am generally a huge believer of keeping an open mind and open heart. The other thing that I have had the luxury of is extremely supportive family. So yes, I am extremely lucky, so my thinking was always rather be single than be unsure or unhappy - but I have realized this thinking has an implicit bias, which comes from my privileged education (financial independence) and circumstances (supportive family)
That said, recently while watching this PTV show Kuch Ankahee, I really started to look into what happens with women who have none of these privileges and whether marriage then is critical for them to have a life. And I started reading up more. I just started reading this anthology called Chasing the Good life: on being Single. I also was reading some statistics, did you know Bumble (dating app) did a study where 81% women said they feel more at ease being unmarried and 63% of which said they don’t want to be pressured to give in to preferences etc and most times this is the case. To me, all of this means that society is correcting itself somewhere. For far too long, men were uncompromising which resulted in such imbalance, that where possible women will now not compromise. That is part of evolution, I suppose. But again, this relates to women who are capable and choosing to have a single life is still a luxury.
To me, there are two questions which are related but yet independent -
Should we as a society get comfortable with the choice of being single?
YES. as long as it is truly a choice and not a “wanted to be with someone but didn’t find anyone”, then I wonder if it is truly a choice, this is something I want to explore and understand myself.
Should we as women reject marriage in the name of non compromise when everyone who is married tells us that marriage is the ultimate compromise?
NO. This is where I feel the whole gender norms comes in, Men don’t do enough to “sell” the institution either. Men are not brought up to be husbands, while women are brought up to be wives. This is the imbalance we essentially need to address. I have started reading a bit more on this too.
Hope I made some sense…if not, don’t worry just ignore me..I am literally vomiting thoughts thay I have started to put together in the past two days. So will take time for me to collate in my head too.
For me it is and will always about knowing myself well before I step into marriage.
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