Originally posted by: vandana21
I haven't had the chance to read the replies on this thread since I don't have the time - but i'd like to respond to a few points in the TMs post. I volunteer to uplift and help south Asian (mostly women) who are in unjust situations - and cannot control myself from replying to certain aspects about relationships and womens rights!
#1 First off, no body can be forced to live within the rules of "marriage" - Anurag has subconscious feelings - someone coming and declaring herself has his wife cannot make him want to be loyal to her - he has no memory and is right now acting according to what makes his heart flutter - I see nothing wrong in his getting drawn toward Prerna - also EMA is a very strong term - a strong passionate romantic relationship involving sex is deemed as EMA ..and right now it's far from that! who doesn't flirt or joke around at work - it's just innocent fun - also nothing wrong if a married man or woman is attracted to someone other than their spouse - it's but natural ..marriage doesn't stop your hormones from getting aroused if some greek god walks into your room! I'm married and I find Parth super attractive ..and if I ever met him I'd fawn and want to strike a conversation with him ..that doesn't qualify as EMA!! and I won't hide it from my husband either - so as long as no one is doing anything in secret ..and it doesn't get to the point where they are banging each other ..it's all OK! maybe I have a broader perspective of relationships but that's my opinion ..no one can be shackled because of marriage! you stay in your marriage and remain loyal to your spouse because you love them and naturally want to be that way ..not because you have married them and so do it out of no choice! ..not sure if i'm making sense but I think u get the idea!
#2 All companies are supposed to be equal opportunity employers. They cannot discriminate in offering jobs based on gender/race/sexual orientation and even whether a woman is pregnant or not. Most women get pregnant at some point in their life - so it does NOT mater if that point is couple months after starting a job or 2 yrs after. They are entitled to maternity leave regardless of when they start their job! I've known pregnant women to get a job offer and then begin their job after delivery of the baby and their time off! so I'm glad they didn't show Prerna getting rejected at jobs because of her pregnancy because that is just not OK and fair to women!. No reason why men can be employed at anytime but women can't!
#3. Screw all basus other than Anurag - they are a bunch of selfish assholes so it's no surprise they don't care to ask about the baby. Now coming to Anu noticing the bump, I think we need to give that a fair amount of time. I once went up to a friend who's tummy showed out in a dress she wore and congratulated her assuming she was pregnant ..and to my horror and her and my embarrassment it turned out that she just wasn't! it's just that that particular tight fitting dress made her tummy stand out! since then I never dare ask someone if they are pregnant unless I get to know for sure from other sources or from the woman herself! ..It kind of boils down to some sort of body shaming or noticing a fat belly and it gets really embarrassing if such is not the case ...and as far as the story goes, he's barely had a chance to talk or interact with her ..so i'm sure with time her pregnancy will be out in the open to him as well!
i literally ignore particular replies always. but randomly i saw your long replies n i read it. n found here i could give my some POV here. as u made points toh i also tried to reply u in points in short .
#1 -
ok , you said , no body can be forced forced to live within the rules of "marriage".. marriage doesn't stop your hormones from getting aroused if some greek god walks into your room! I'm married and I find Parth super attractive ..and if I ever met him I'd fawn and want to strike a conversation with him ..that doesn't qualify as EMA!!-
Fine . yes it is not EMA . but there is a major difference in Anupre's EMA . marriage has not any rules, but there is a basic and root points of it,. shadi is not a kid's merely playing. agar kisiko shadi kia ,then there is a strong term is loyalty n trust. yes apne partner ko chorke kisi dusre ke liye hormones dhadakna is not EMA. but khudke sweet partner hote huye bhi kisi dusre ke touch se blush karna, passionate ho jana, partner ko ignore karke dusre ko har bat pe priority dena , aur kisike sath time spend karna jeyada accha lagne laga ... yes it is natural , hote hai ... but jab koi ek bandhan mai hai toh iyea sab karne se pehle 100 bar sochna chiye, cos ek tarafse iyea apne partner ko cheating karna bolte hai. EMA is not only about sexual relationship . sex is also a part of EMA . aur iss halat pe keya karna chiye.. apne partner se disscuss karke ek solution mai ana chiye. why other person ko dhoke mai rakhna jab iyea rishta nivanai nei . chalo prerna ke past marriage mai sharth thi , but anulika ke marriage pe iyea sab kuch bhi nei . anurag clearly could confess his dislikings for sona and could make the end of this relationship by asking divorce. but ek shadi pe hote huye bhi kisi aur ke liye fall on karna it is shameful
aur u bring ur crush for parth despite being married. ek celeb ke liye crush khana , aur anupre ka EMA farak hai. crush khana woh hote hai kisike liye admiration , not for falling at all. whatever u are doing , it is fangirling , not falling on completely by cheating ur partner. so pls dont compare ur real life with this .
#2
ok another point prerna pregu time doing job . yes pregnant woman ofcourse could do job . no company could prohibit this . but am tor pe , 6-7-8 months type pregu woman jab job ke liye apply karte hai , tab us waqt kuch criteria hote hai . private company ek last staged pregu woman recruit karte tab us waqt usko medica l certificate show karne parte hai is she ok for the job or not. show mai ek doobti hui company ka ref dikhaya geya, koi bhi dobti hui company ek 6-7 month ka pregu woman ko secretary job ke liye recruit nei degi cos PA job is not easy .. iyaha bhag dour karne hote hai bohot,m tensions aur bohot kuch , is waqt ek last staged woman ake job karte hai toh usko bohot kuch tolerate karne parte hai jahape kuch bhi ho sakte hai jisko baaaad mai ek company ko liabilities uthani parte hai .. aur pregu honeke badd ek long term vacation ki bat ate hai .. so it is obvious , kaunsi dobbti hui / normal company 2 month ke liye ek pregnant woman ko recruit karega jahape usko jaldi leave lena hoga.. iyea common sense hai company policy ki . it is not about sex/couple/ whatever discrimination . iyea basic policy . toh my points refers that sense . govt policy alag . but ek private company jab recruit karte hai , tab bhot kuch sochkei employee lete hai . aur edhar ek bhangar company ka scene dikhaya .
#3
and in your last point u referred the body shaming part asking someone about pregnancy. ok .. i take this point . aisei hum kisiko iyea nei bol sakti woh pregu hai ki nehi .. but as per prerna's health .. she is a thin more than anyone. but her big bump is visible weirdly . koi bhi pehle iyeahi sochega she is pregnant . and the way she again and again touches her bump during walking and rest , sabkoi notice mai aa jayega she is pregnant. accha chalo iyea samne nei aya , anrag shahed body shaming sochkei nei pucha . but prerna sindur use kar rahe hai . iyea bhi anurag ko nei dekha.. he clearly could ask , about this after seeing.
jab boot dinon bad koi friend ek dusre se milte hai tab am tor pe , log uske jindagi mai keya chal rahe hai iyea puchte hai , shadi hui ki nei , 2 sal mai keya hua bla bal.. but anurag tere mere beech ki bat leke beith geye .. he dint ask how prerna's life was going on in this two years .. uske shadi hui ki nei ... iyea aksar hum hamare friend ko puchtei hai jab long time ke badd koi ek dusre se milte hai ... naki khudke petara leke beith jate hai .. iyea common sense, jo write divine couple dikhane ke chakkar mai clearly skip kia...
