Dear mom,
I don't know if I should be calling you Mom, despite your utter disregard for my existence. I am not yet born, don't know anything, not even the language that children are ideally supposed to learn from the surroundings & their parents but I had to ask for special powers from God to write this letter to you.
You played ping pong (God has not given me full dictionary considering my age, so I am making up words but you know what I mean) with Daddy without thinking that you could have me in result. I can't believe my inception happened in that God-awful jhopdi on that ridiculous charpai in such shabby surroundings. Afterall, that's what a child wants, to be conceived when their parents are on a run. You guys were already miserable but you thought it would be a good idea to add one more person to suffer along with you for your miseries. You have no control & no sense whatsoever.
But I will forgive you for conceiving me, but what the hell is wrong with you for not caring about me after conception. You don't talk to me at all. All you do is think about Daddy all the time who doesn't know about me. He doesn't even remember that he had a ping pong that led to me & I blame you for that, by the way. You were supposed to tell him about me. Even Daddy's family & his other wife got more attention from you than I ever got till date. You paid all attention to banshees who screech all the time & my tiny, under-developed ears hurt, really hurt. All the time you run, I get out of my breath. All the time you get hit & fall, I get scared of hurting as well. All the time you pick heavy load, I am put under immense strain since your belly is under strain. But you don't care.
You are supposed to not put me under any stress- physical, mental, social, emotional. But you do all those things you are forbidden from doing. I know you don't care about yourself but why not care about me. What have I done to deserve such callousness from my mother who remembers me occassionally & then forgets as per convenience. Last you remembered me around Holi & then when you told that new uncle about me & then you forgot again. I am not a news article to be forgotten so soon.
Here I am, caged in your uterus where all you do is cry, cry & cry. You cry so much that I am afraid, if I am ever born with all my body parts intact, I may never cry at all. You took my share of crying as well.
You get kidnapped, run from here & there, fall on your stomach, pick heavy load, get hit in your head, save lives by becoming a superhero, have a uterus that doesn't grow at all and yet I don't know if I am lucky or cursed to not get miscarried yet. Lucky because maybe I may get to meet good people when I am born but cursed because I am being neglected & I am suffering like hell but you still don't care about me. I don't know if I am lucky or cursed to survive yet for the same reasons. I don't know what kind of revenge are you taking from me. If ever I did something wrong to you in any past life, then I don't know, you have to trust me & you have to spare me the horror of this suffering.
You starve yourself, do you even know since when have I not eaten properly. I am starved & you, only you will be responsible for my malnourished birth. You don't feed yourself & you don't feed me as well. I have to stay hungry all the time because I don't get any supply from your placenta even though I wait at the other end of your placenta all day long for something, anything to sustain. You are torturing me. If I could, I would have complained about you for abusing me even before I am born. I can't imagine the kind of strain you will put me in once I am born. Yesterday, I was hurt when Daddy was being rude & rough to you, but you smiled. You still don't care. That day, you were running & crashing yourself into things, what the hell were you thinking being so careless.
If you didn't want me or wanted to care about me, then why did you not get rid of me. You could have put an end to my suffering for once & all. All you had to do was go to a good doctor as soon as you came to know about my existence. I would have forgiven you thinking you were not ready for me & I would have been free of all this stress I have been put through by you.
You are a very irresponsible mother & I am very, very, very angry at you.
Now I want you to be a good mother & feed me something even if you don't want to feed yourself & wail all the time in how you betrayed Daddy. By the way, the new Daddy looks handsome, he is smart & he speaks in a low voice that is good for me. You should probably learn something from him, first of them being how to prioritize yourself & me because my existence is entirely dependent on you. By the way, ask new daddy to not smoke cigar around me, it's not good for my health & causes me claustrophobia & makes it hard for me to breathe. Remembering of claustrophobia, it's really dark & closed in here, I can't wait to get out of this wretched place. I am last token of my Daddy's love for you without who you can't live, you should be extra careful about me or you will lose me.
Care about me, talk to me, protect me from loud noise & please for the love of God, feed me regularly & don't stress yourself since whenever you do that, it stresses the hell out of me.
Don't just read this, get down to work as I say, NOW.
Yours suffering, ignored, starved, invisible, hurt yet alive & to-be-born child,
PREM B/S ( I know my name because it was decided 18 years ago & there is confusion on who will I be legally, Basu or Bajaj or Sharma).
P.S- I hope you will listen to me this time. I hope you're ordered enough food to feed me by now & are not running here & there.
Cricket
