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Your boyfriend or your best friend?
Divya Unny
Friday, February 23, 2007 21:04 IST
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What do you do when your close friends hate the love of your life?
On one hand is the love of your life, and on the other, are your best friends. When the two despise each other, life cannot be easy, neither for them nor for you. It is not always necessary that your friends and the person you are dating like each other, and most of the times it is otherwise.
While both are equally important people in your life, ultimately it is you who is sandwiched between superfluous ego hassles or more.
Says 17-year-old Anagha Shetty, "My girlfriends absolutely hates my boyfriend only because he is a year younger to me. Now, is that a reason to judge a person at all? We are very compatible and that hurts me even more because my friends don't even make an attempt to understand how sweet a person he is."
Don't fall prey to judgements
If you are amongst those who include your boy/girlfriend in your gang, be ready for some serious damage initially. There are many who are uncomfortable accepting an outsider and you need to be tactful with the situation.
Accepts 20-year-old Deepika Mathur, "It was a nightmare when my boyfriend Tushar came down from the USA for good. My friends had strange misconceptions about Indians who are bought up abroad and I just did not know how to get on with the situation."
Maybe you should give your friends some time to understand your boy/girlfriend and things then may not be that bad. "In a situation like this, one has to stop, think and relax because reacting impulsively will spoil the situation. If you rush and tell your boy/girlfriend what your friend's think of him/her it might be very annoying for him/her," says psychologist, Seema Hingorrany.
Understand what is good or bad for you
Not necessarily each time your friend has a problem with your boy/girlfriend it might be frivolous. There are situations when you end up getting too influenced with the person you are dating and don't realise if the relationship is taking a toll on you.
Says 20-year-old Rohit Iyer, "My girlfriend used to be very dominating and so my friends hated her. I never saw this until my friend repeatedly hinted this to me. I stopped seeing her because I realised that I was hardly happy with her."
Adds Hingorrany, "At times, it is essential to get a third person's perspective and then things might fall into place. Friends might be insecure at times but if they want you to be happy, they will not advice your wrongly."
If situations are extreme, take a decision
Ignoring a situation like this might spoil your relationship with both. If all attempts to create a good rapport fails, you must take a call on who is more important for you.
"You can speak to an elderly person like your mother or father and ask them to guide you. in such a case taking a wrong decision might be a blunder and you must decide who is more important, your boyfriend or your best friend."
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