Spreading a little cheer - Part 6 pg 13 - Page 6

Originally posted by: Vedo

LAMO!!🤣🤣🤣 Di, how do you expect us not to laugh so much when your jokes are that howlarious?! 😆 😆 🤣

V...

thanks hun, I think bahut ho gaya, will let all your stomachs settle.......have a great weekend

This is for those who demanded their weekend dose.....kya yaar ek din ki chutti maangi thi 😆

Crowded elevator

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.

As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"

Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."

"Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly... "I did."

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Quick thinking

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy.

The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect.

At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed.

He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach.

As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach.

He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails.

All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place.

They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around.

It got so hot and heavy, that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out there.

At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no, my wife's dinner party!"

He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door.

He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails.

There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time.

He looked at the snails on the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there!"

------------------------------------------------------------ ------Married life is frustrating.

The first year of marriage, the man speaks And the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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You used to kiss me

An older couple were lying in bed one night.

The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me. " Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

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Second opinion

A Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.

The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!" and stormed off to work.

By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"

"I was in bed."

"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"

"I was getting a second opinion."

------------------------------------------------------------ ---

I wish I was a book

John, for heaven's sake, why can't you just talk to me once in awhile?" whined Mari.

"Huh?" John responded.

"Look around you!" she yells as she points around the room. "All these books. Your head is always buried in books. You don't even know I'm alive!"

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"You know, sometimes I wish I were a book. Then you'd at least look at me."

"Hmmm," John mumbled in deep thought, "that's not a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."

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Happy ever after

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.

The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, cutie pie?... "Listen Up, D*ckhead! Drink Your F*ckin Beer In Your Damn Frozen Mug And Eat Your MotherF**kin Snacks, Because Your Are Married Now, You Aren't Going Anywhere! Got It, As*hole" .....

And they lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Have a great weekend friends! 😛

🤣
In mardo ki to watt laga di tumne Sabs
Thanks a lot,
Made my day

Bye