So here I am back again with another Short Story. I sincerely hope the response to is good even if it isn't positive.
Oh before that I started a blog recently (thought I'd try my hand at something new) here's the link for all those who might want to have a look;
https://shrutichopra.blogspot.com
So now here it goes;
Every New Beginning
It killed him knowing that the killer of his children was in his house. How could someone do that, he asked himself, let alone someone he called his own. It wasn't as if he had lived a life without hardships, just the opposite if one may call it so. Hadn't God tested him enough, hadn't he passed the tests of trials and tribulations?
People called him the mighty old Jai Walia. The man with a solution to every problem, the man who can never lose a battle. The man who has a life which is perfect, what dreams are made of. Jai Walia, he thought to himself, someone so powerful, a man standing at 6 foot 2 in the perfectly tailored suit and with the perfect features on his pretty face. The man who had the perfect baritone, the perfect charm, the perfect personality. Everything from the outside was just that – perfect. Little did anyone know what went through his inside, how imperfect he really was, how low on self- esteem this mighty man was.
He remembered how his life had just become 'perfect' again with his wife, his love Bani coming back into it. Only a week ago he had asked for forgiveness, and he couldn't thank her enough for accepting him back. He was no perfect man, far from that he thought. He smiled at the childish way but still the most mature manner he knew how to do. He was a man who made mistakes and man enough to admit to them when he realized them.
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A week ago
Jai was left standing there, all alone, with a look of despair, with a feeling of frustration and with the will to make things alright. He had been under so many misconceptions; he had conveniently assumed so many things over the past years just so that he wouldn't have to be blamed for anything. Today he realized that all along he was living in a world he had made for himself, not in reality because today he realized reality was what he had always been running away from.
He sat there, on the ground, after Daksh had walked away, telling him the truth, the entire truth about the past, the present and in turn telling him to do something about the future. Jai did realize that now was the time to at least try and make things alright, to make some amends, to get his love back into his life and to apologize, as profusely as he could for all that he had put her through.
Bani, the woman he loved, he cared for, the woman who was everything for him, his 'dream come true', he had blamed her for every wrong that had ever happened, he never tried once to understand her, to hear her out. He was so angry that night, it still haunted him but today for the first time in years it haunted him for the right reasons.
It was raining, raining so heavily that it was hard to see anything clearly, even the superficial things and Jai thought he saw Bani's deceit clearly in that rain. He had been wrong, so wrong. Bani had in fact never betrayed him, at least not in the way he thought she had, and today all that she had ever done wrong was right. Right not by ethics or principles but by what she had been put through by him.
He had not even let her mourn the death of their children, their life lines, the reason they had been together once again. He had blamed her for it. How could he have done that he thought to himself today. How could he have even thought that a mother, a mother like Bani could kill her own children? She had loved them more than anyone else and she had cared for them more than anyone else ever could. He cringed merely thinking about his behavior, the way he threw her out, without any consideration or feelings, without any love, with complete malice. He realized he had not been thinking straight but was that any excuse for blaming the woman you love or for holding the mother of your children responsible for their death?
How could he have doubted the love Bani had for him especially after all that she had done for him and his family? How could he be so immature to take every single thing on face value and not look beyond what he saw? He assumed Bani having a relationship with Daksh, a romantic liaison when all she was doing was helping her brother in law in sickness. How would he make things alright? What would he tell Bani when he saw her? How would he be able to look at her in the eyes?
Bani, he screamed in desolation and cried, cried in pain, cried in love, cried in betrayal, cried in hope, cried for Bani, cried for his past and for his future. He cried so that the God's would hear him and make things alright, cried so that he would be shown the path, cried so that his tears could wash away a little of his sins.
He went home that night, walking like a zombie, like a human without life, like a man without soul, like a lover without love, like a tycoon without money, like the sun without its rays. He stared into the sky, lit by its moonlight but still felt dark; he stared into it thinking of the things that had happened, thinking of the games fate played and thinking of how he had let everything worth holding onto leave his life.
The next morning he realized that now was the time to talk it out, to tell Bani about his feelings, to not waste anymore time. He called Bani up and then called her again, every time it rang his heart raced faster and he kept the phone down. He called again and this time waited till she picked it up.
Bani: Hello
Jai did not speak, he was mesmerized with this voice, and he just wanted to go over to Bani and hold her in his arms, hug her tight, so tight that she wouldn't be able to breathe, he wanted to hear her, feel her, belong to her. He stayed on the line, wanting to speak but words eluded him.
Bani: Hello
When she heard nothing she realized it was Jai. Fate did play funny games. Every time he saw her he said something so demeaning and when he called to say the truth, to say the 'good stuff' he didn't have words.
Bani: Jai?
Silence did have a way with them, he thought to himself. Silence was what had kept them together, but he realized that as much as silence is golden it also does take you down. Words without action are nothing and similarly silence without words loses its meaning over time. He mustered up the courage but just about enough of it.
'Bani can we meet today?' Jai asked her.
'Why?' she asked him back, with coldness in her voice. He couldn't blame her.
'Please, I promise I have a good reason this time. I just can't tell you now' Jai pleaded.
Even today he got to Bani, she wanted to say no, she deserved not to be put through it all again, but her heart took over her head.
'Where?' Bani asked
'At the temple, where we renewed our vows' Jai said, knowing that was a place where no lies could be said, nothing baseless could be believed.
'Ok' Bani said and kept the phone down.
He waited for the evening to come, he couldn't concentrate, he went over everything he wanted to say as if it were the dress rehearsal before the actual performance. Little did he know life was not a show!
He got to the temple earlier than he was expected to and he waited there. Bani came soon after walking towards him. He just gazed at her and then caught her sight. She walked towards him, looking into his eyes and he realized truly at that moment all that he had lost.
'Jai why have you called me here' Bani asked him
'I needed to see you, to speak to you, to apologize to you Bani' Jai said, not leaving her gaze.
'Apologize for what' she asked
'Apologize for doubting you, for not believing you, for not letting you say a thing, for betraying you, for being foolish enough to even consider that the woman I love the most and who loves me could betray me. Apologize for not understanding, for never trying to find out, for believing hearsay and for blaming you for whatever I did. Apologize for not being there when you needed me, for not being your shoulder to cry on after Krishna and Atharva and for not being the support you needed. Apologize for never asking you how you felt or what was on your mind, for not being the man you fell in love with, for not being the dependable guy I was supposed to be. Apologize for not being the husband I should have been, for being the friend I promised to be, for not being the father who I could've been'
Jai fell down on his knees, doing everything he could to make Bani believe in every word he said. To make her believe that he was truly sorry, that he would not repeat his mistakes and that he was repenting his actions. Jai knew no other way; he had always been to proud to fall in front of someone, not realizing that it did not make him less of a man accepting his mistakes. Today he realized that and along with Bani he realized there are a lot of other people he owed apologies to.
'Bani I love you and I always have I have just been a fool not to say it before or say it enough. I have never stopped loving you and that is a truth I was running away from. I blamed you for my shortcomings and my insecurities and you accepted them without a word. I don't want to waste anymore time Bani, come back to me. Come back home, to your family so that we can make a family again' Jai said, hoping the response would be in his favor.
Never leave that till tomorrow, which you can do today. We don't have reasons for putting things off, but it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes and the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, and heard the poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves that knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.'
All Bani did was bend down and hold his face in her hands. She looked right into his eyes and that itself spoke a thousand words.
'I love you Jai,' Bani said and it brought an instant smile to his face. 'I have loved you every living moment since we conceived our first child, and I promised myself to love you every living moment till I die. My love is not unforgiving, my love is not selfish, my love is not having you with me all the time, it is forgiving you when you realize, in letting you go if you want to and in knowing that you love me even when we're not together'
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Today Jai did not know what to do. He knew if he told Bani about this development of sorts about their children's death it would cause her nothing but immense pain and it may even harm their child. His face glowed when he thought of having a pregnant Bani again. It gave him a kick knowing she was becoming the mother of his children once again. They had indeed started a family again. But he had to tell her about Atharva and Krishna, he would not be able to forgive himself if he didn't. He waited that night for her to finish the chores and come in their room.
'Bani, there is something we need to talk about and I am so sorry that we do.' Jai could not get himself to look into her eyes.
'Bani I think you should sit,' saying this he went and stood at the window sill
'Jai what is the matter,' she came to where he was and stood there, Jai didn't turn
'Bani the police did some more investigation into Krishna and Atharva's kidnapping and it turns out that the entire planning and the killing was done by someone in this house. They also said that it is not one person but two that have planned it together and that the person is in this house but they just don't know who it is. And the worse part it is that though they don't know the exact reason one of the reasons was money. They have narrowed down the people to Jigyasa, Nachiket and Pia but have not ruled out Ranvir or your best friend Meera. So basically everyone is under the hawk's eye and till we know for sure everyone is under the tag of guilty.'
Bani had removed her hand from his shoulder and was now crying silent tears. She was sitting at the edge of the bed not knowing what to do, what to say, how to react. It was Jai's duty as a father of their deceased children, as a husband and as the man who just gave a woman such news to take care of her, to say something, anything to make the moment alright. But he knew inside that nothing he said or did could make this better, but he also knew that he had to be there for her now. Miscommunication and misunderstandings had taken a lot from them already and he wasn't ready to lose anymore.
Jai went over to where Bani was and bent down, he looked up at Bani and saw the tears, and he couldn't stop himself anymore. His eyes became wet as he spoke, they cried, they cried together, for each other. They apologized for not being there when the other needed the other and promised to let bygones be bygones and solve this together. They cried for their children, mourned their death and became the shoulder they ought to have become years ago. Tonight they washed away their sins, their past and made a new beginning, together, to give their children justice and to make sure in their future the same mistakes were never repeated.
'Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.'
The End
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Love,
Shruti
Here are the links to my previous works
SS: A Childs View (completed)
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/kasamh-se/856218/ss-a-childs-view
SS: Still Standing (completed)
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/kasamh-se/838656/ss-still-standing-completed
SS: Strength and Spirit (completed)
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/kasamh-se/820897/ss-strength-and-spirit
SS: Lifting Shadows off a dream (completed)
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/kasamh-se/785917/ss-lifting-shadows-off-a-dream-completed
FF: Life (in progress)
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/kasamh-se/496376/ff-life-chp27-pg91-7-6-lst-prt-nt-pg93
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
