Part XI
New Year's Eve found Bani staring sightlessly into a gray, miserable, darkening sky, her head and her heart waging a war that couldn't be won. She blinked back the sting of tears when she felt two large hands sweep briefly over her shoulders before being replaced by a weight almost as heavy as the one on her conscience. Her fingers played with the bangles as she worked up the courage to speak, to lay voice to her tormented thoughts. But her words caught in her throat when Jais' hands covered hers, and he smoothly slid the bangles on her arm.
"There, all done" he said in a low whisper. "You took beautiful." He frowned at her brimming tears, squeezing her hands in concern. Her name escaped his lips on a sigh. "Bani."
"Are you sure they'll be there, Jai?"
She didn't have to say their names; Jai understood anyway. "They should," he agreed, tightening his hands around hers when she moved to pull away. "Rano and Ranveer," he began, tucking a golden curl behind her ear, "they should be there. But you're not at fault, Bani. Jigayasa and Pia are."
"If it weren't for me," Bani's protests died beneath Jais' fingertips.
"If it weren't for you, our son wouldn't be in his room right now practically bursting with happiness," Jai reminded her, a small smile tugging at his mouth as he remembered the way he'd left his son mere minutes ago: lugging around the wriggling ball of fur that had been a gift (an un-discussed surprise actually) from the woman in front of him.
Not even the knowledge that the puppy had apparently already wormed its way into Jais' hard-fought-for affections and softened his no-pets stance was enough to make Bani smile. She shrugged away from him, unable to meet his eyes as she said her next piece. "No, Jai. Don't try to make excuses. Don't try to make things right when they obviously aren't. Ranveer and Rano shouldn't have had to move out of their own house. They should live here, this is where they belong. All because of me Rano and Ranveer don't life here. Jigayasa aunty has left this house, all because of me. And," she lost her tenuous grasp on her emotions, her stoic mask crumpling before him, "I ignored your wishes and bought our son a dog when you said he couldn't have one." The edge of hysteria she heard in her own voice embarrassed her, and she whirled around, covering her face with her hands as she cried. The tears came faster when she felt his arms wrap around her waist from behind and felt his breath stir the hair at her temple.
"First of all, you are not responsible for Jigayasa's actions. She left this house on her own. I, for once, am very happy that she is not here to create anymore trouble in our family," Jai tightened his arms around her, lips tasting the salt of her tears as they caressed her cheek. "I never thought I'd say this but this house seems to be in peace ever since Jigayasa has left this house," he murmured into her ear.
"But Ranveer and Rano, and Varun," Bani wouldn't be convinced.
"Will be home soon," Jai promised, pressing his lips more firmly against her damp cheek before slowly turning her in his arms and looking into her wet eyes. "But the dog," a slow, teasing smile crept over his handsome features, "I'm afraid the dog's the real deal-breaker. The dog absolutely has to go. With you," he elaborated when his attempt at banter fell a little flat in the face of her worries. "So Atharva and I have a reason to visit every day." He released a relieved little breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding when that comment finally earned him the sought-after smile.
"You don't need a reason, Jai. That apartment is also yours. It's ours." Bani's hand as she lifted it to Jais' cheek was swallowed by the end of her pallu.
Her little mewl of frustration made Jai grin. He covered her hand with his own and used his other arm to wrap around her waist and pull her flush against him, his intent clear: to kiss her. It was his turn to growl with frustration when he felt her small hands pushing against his chest, using one of his thumbs to soothe the furrowed line between her brows while he watched her bite her lip in hesitation. "Bani?" he prompted gently.
Bani looked at him doubtfully. "Am I really worth it?"
"Bani," Jai framed her face between his work-callused hands, shaking his head at her as he brought their foreheads together. How could she ask, think, such a thing?
"Jai," she breathed his name back at him, her lips brushing faintly against his mouth as they moved to form the word. Her fingers clenched in the soft material of his shirt at his answering groan. "It's a fair question, Jai. I…"
"Mama! Papa!" Atharva burst through the door in that moment, his newfound friend scampering behind him, with the red ribbon that had previously adorned his neck hanging limply from his mouth. "Tell Nachiket chachu to take me to the party with him in his car. I don't want to go with Anu di!" Atharva bounced on the balls of his feet, breathless and beaming with poorly contained excitement yet pouting.
Anu materialized behind Atharva as she put her earrings on. "Why don't you want to come with me? I'm not that bad looking, you know!"
"No, but your boring. I want to go with Nachiket chachu."
Bani smiled at Purva and Nachiket when they stepped over the threshold hand in hand, cheeks flushing. "Don't worry baby, you can come with us," she told Atharva, warming inside at the excitement brewing in his own expressive eyes.
"YAY!" Atharva jumped in excitement as Anu frowned.
"Whatever. I'll remember that next time you want me to buy you something," Anu laughed
"Are you and Bani mami coming with us or in your own car?" Anu asked as Purva, Nachiket and Atharva in tow, clattered down the front steps behind her as she looked from Bani to her brother and back. She raised a brow when Bani only looked at Jai questioningly.
"Go ahead. We'll be right behind you," Jai answered, giving her a gentle push forward. "You," he pointed at Bani as he backed through the open door, "stay right where you are."
Atharva's exuberant chatter soon faded into the quickly falling twilight, and Bani, left to wonder what was taking Jai so long, stepped over the threshold, right into Jais' path. Jais' hand on her hip, she knew, was meant to steady her, but it only served to throw her even more off-balance than she already found herself this evening.
"Jai, what…I don't understand. What is this?" she questioned when he held out his free hand and a pretty, delicate gold chain dangled over then curled into her palm.
Her fingers trembled slightly as they worked at the tiny clasp holding the heart locket together, and she felt her heart jump into her throat when, finally successful, she opened it to find her picture of Jai, along with that of Atharva, smiling up at her.
"Jai," she lifted her gaze to Jais' expectant face. "Oh, Jai. This is…" Any further words proved impossible due to the lump firmly lodged in her throat.
Jais' fingers were deft and sure as he fastened the clasp around her neck, letting the locket fall to rest just below the hollow of her throat. "I hope this answers your earlier question." The tiniest of smiles flirted with the corners of his mouth yet his dark eyes remained serious. Lifting the locket once more in the palm of his hand, his voice was but a whisper. "Never doubt this."
Bani wrapped her hand around his with an answering smile and stepped out into the night.
They had a party to attend.
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Jai closed the front door behind him with his leg as he carried a sleeping Bani in his arms. Putting Bani down on a nearby couch, he felt guilt rear its ugly head again when he noted the time. Simran and Atharva had been sent home early from the party with the driver as they were starting to get tired. He'd promised them everyone would be home soon.
Its volume was muted, but the celebration on the television was in full swing, the colorful images of happy partygoers ringing in the New Year cutting through the darkness of the living room.
Two small feet wearing pink and yellow striped socks stuck out from beneath the coffee table. Upon further investigation, Jai found Simran's dark tumble of curls resting beside a large blue bowl filled with popcorn, her arms folded beneath her. His little niece whimpered only slightly in her sleep when Jai gave her legs a soft tug and pulled her closer. She settled drowsily against his chest while he brushed popcorn kernels from her hair with a small smile.
"I missed it," Simran pouted, small fists rubbing sleepily at her eyes.
Jai wanted to chuckle at the disgruntled glare she gave him but didn't. Instead he was quick to remind her, "There's always next year."
"But it won't be the same," Simran stuck her bottom lip out even further. She swayed on unsteady feet, leaning heavily against Jai as he moved across the living room to where Atharva lay sprawled across the armchair, growing arms and legs at odd angles, practically hanging upside down.
Jai scooped Atharva up, tucking him under one arm and using the other to guide Simran down the hall.
"Papa?" Atharva clung to Jais' neck with both arms and his legs were hooked around his waist. "Was the party fun after Simran and I left?"
Tightening his arm around Atharva, he chuckled, "The fireworks were pretty good."
"Jai Uncle," Simran yawned as Jai tucked the covers around her shoulders and Atharva crawled into the small twin bed beside her. "Did mom come home too?"
"Not yet," Jai nodded, giving Atharva the same treatment he'd given Simran just seconds earlier. "She looked like she was having fun with papa so they decided to stay for a little bit more time." He pre-empted her next question with a finger to her tiredly babbling mouth. "Sleep. I'm sure she'll tell you all about it when she picks you up in the morning."
"You're no fun." With a pout, Simran flopped over in the bed, dragging most of the blankets with her. After a brief tug of war with Atharva that resulted in giggles all around, she relinquished enough control for Jai to re-tuck the blankets snugly around the both of them.
"Papa?"
Atharva's voice was sleep-soft, and Jai paused in the doorway, all ears. "Yeah?"
"Are you going to tuck Mama in too?"
"Atharva," Jai spoke warningly, but the boy wouldn't be silenced, continuing to babble even as Jai started to pull the bedroom door closed.
"Will you take mama and I shopping tomorrow?"
"Go to sleep, Atharva." Chuckling to himself as he closed the door on their giggling shenanigans, he delivered another warning, unable to keep the hint of humor out of his voice. "Sleeping means no more talking. Or laughing," he added, dousing the rest of the lights and following the television's glow to the living room. His son's innocent question echoed in his mind when his eyes strayed to the sofa and the outline of Bani's slender figure.
Doleful dark eyes tracked his movements across the room suspiciously, and a high pitched puppy whine escaped in protest when Jai crouched in front of the sofa and gathered his sleeping companion close.
"Jai?" His name was a groggy question from Bani's lips, and her eyes blinked to adjust to the darkness of his room as he settled her in his bed, one knee braced against the mattress. "What time is it?" She pushed herself up on one elbow while Jai fumbled to turn on the bedside lamp. Squinting against the sudden brightness, she instantly became more alert with the realization they were alone. "Wait a minute. Where are the kids?"
"Relax." Jai guided her down to the pillow below, belatedly realizing it'd been a while since Bani had slept in their room. Distractedly, he answered in one short word, "Asleep." His eyes traveled of their own volition down the rest of her body, and what he saw made him smirk in delight. "You're not going to change out of your clothes?" he asked, stretching out his long body beside her.
Bani shrugged indifferently, unconsciously exposing more pale skin to Jais' view. "I didn't realize I was going to be staying here tonight, so I have nothing to change into." Her eyes twinkled when Jais' hand settled on her hip, and stroking the sensitive skin there. Lifting a hand to Jais' tired face, she stroked her own thumb along his cheekbone. "Sorry I made you leave the party early. You didn't get to dance with any pretty girls at midnight"
Jai opened his mouth to remind her again that the party wouldn't have been fun for him unless she was there with him, until he realized that she was only teasing, not serious. Still, the undercurrent of insecurity lingering in her pretty eyes made him pull her to him until barely an inch separated them, and the never-far desire to kiss her returned full-force. "There's only one girl I wanted to kiss at midnight," he said quietly, watching her eyes widen then turn liquid with the admission. Jais' hand spanned the small of her back when she scooted closer, her nails tickling pleasantly at his scalp. Throwing a glance over his shoulder, Jai noted the time on his digital alarm clock, his fingers twitching restlessly against her warm skin, his smile rueful. "Looks like we missed the countdown."
"You're forgetting, Jai," Bani's hand slid to his nape, and her nose nudged lightly against his as she breached the remaining distance between them and felt his hand sweep higher to rest between her shoulder blades. "It's not midnight yet in other parts of the world."
"Hmmm…so true," Jais' smile grew, and his wandering hand lingered on the curve of her hip. He pressed a tiny kiss to the notch above her upper lip and pulled back to look into her eyes.
"Don't forget Dubai," Bani reminded him with a husky whisper, chasing his lips with her own. She teased him with brief touches, light as the flutter of a butterfly's wings, of her lips to the identical vee begging her attention above Jais' mouth. She smiled when Jais' hand molded itself to the small of her back again, propelling her forward even deeper into his embrace. Her thumb traced his lips as she told him, eyes sparkling, "I think I need a kiss for every time zone." Peals of delighted laughter escaped when he playfully nipped at the fleshy pad and muttered something about negotiations and arrangements with the words 'you're killing me' sprinkled in there somewhere, and without her knowing how it happened, she found herself on her back, one hand in Jais' hair and the other gripping the corded muscle of his shoulder while his handsome face loomed over her, his own blunt fingers tickling at her ribs. She was still shaking with laughter when his mouth covered hers.
Her lips were even softer than Jai remembered, her mouth warm as his tongue stole its way past her smile to brush tentatively against her own. Retreating before she even had a chance to respond, Jai braced his weight on his forearms on either side of her face, watching her slowly blink her eyes open. "Bani." He whispered her name uncertainly, apologetically.
The hand on his shoulder dipped beneath the neckline of his shirt, landing between his shoulder blades, and Bani pulled him gently to her as she rose up on one elbow to meet him halfway. The kiss she bestowed was soft but persuasive, and she moaned in triumph when Jais' head followed hers back to her pillow and a large hand buried itself in her hair, cradling the back of her head and changing the angle and the pressure with which their lips met. She was panting when they broke apart, but the smile on her face was there to stay as her fingertips danced over the shell of Jais' ear before sweeping down his side and landing on the small of his back, coaxing him closer. "Don't stop now." Jais' solid weight pinning her down to the bed made it harder for her to breath, but in a good way.
Jai arched a dark brow at her but didn't say anything, too focused on the delicious feel of her beneath him after long months, years, of denying himself. This close the irises of her eyes were an even more brilliant than he remembered. He could smell the sweet, intoxicating scent of her perfume where it clung to the hollow of her throat. She was warm and soft and everything he hadn't allowed himself to miss during their time apart, and his heart hadn't felt so full in a long, long time. Returning her infectious smile, he realized she was speaking again, the words bubbling from her mouth amidst giddy laughter, and that her hands had taken on a life of their own, mapping the dips and valleys of his spine and shoulders.
"...that first kiss shouldn't count. Just consider it practice," Bani punctuated the suggestion with a press of her lips to the line of his jaw. "We've been so, so, so stupid," she bit back a sigh when Jais' palm cupped her shoulder and his head dropped to brush a kiss. Turning her head slightly and bringing them cheek to cheek, she slid her arms around Jai in a tight hug and held on, just breathing him in. Her voice was hoarse with the threat of tears when she whispered, into the crease of his neck, "Never again. Don't let me…Jai, let's not…" She trailed off helplessly as his arms encircled her in kind and let herself be comforted by the strong beat of his heart and the cadence of his breathing.
Tightening his arms around Bani, he whispered sweet nothings in her ear. He knew she was right, he would never. He never could handle being away from her anymore. He was stupid enough to let her get away the first time around, but not again.
Never again.
To be continued…
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