Script: logical JB story upd Pg 5, 29/08 - Page 4

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bugs_bunny thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#31
Nikki, great job, definiely got the realistic touch to it! Ma is evil.. but i thin she's sllowly seeing that Bani is hapier with jw than AD!

It was nice, for once, to see misunderstandings all cleared! 😛

Will be waiting for the next one!
Hkaurk22 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#32
Nikki- too good... This would be perfect for KS! I loved how you showed Bani turning to JW at every sense of turmoil- just like she did when Rano was missing.. To me even in KS her sense of comfort is lacking with AD, just as you have described here...

Please continue soon!
nikkitherealist thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#33
Thank you all..... 😳 'the realist' in me just doesn't go away 😆 😆

I would like to rename the title of this because it was supposed to be a one-off suggestion to the writers showing a more alternative approach to the storyline and not a FF, still isn't but it is turning to be more than the one-off!!!!

Any suggestions?
divan thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#34
Suggestion, rewrite each episode realistically, starting with the yesterday episode where Ranveer does not rape Raashi. Could definitely handled differently.
nikkitherealist thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#35
Arrehh divan.... I wish I could but am a bit short on time... 😕
nikkitherealist thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#36

Part 3....

AD paid a visit to his lawyers
AD: So Mr Khanna, how is Durga's divorce proceeding? (rebuking tone) I didn't hear from you so I thought I would come and ask you.
Mr Khanna: But... Miss Dasgupta cancelled them! I thought she would have told you and that is why I never updated you.
AD is stuck dumb for a minute.
AD (threatens): Maybe YOU made a mistake... You understand what I am saying...I want that divorce to go through and the sooner the better...
Mr Khanna: (Gulp)... Yes Sir...I will get on the case right away, Sir ...
AD: Good ... and there is no need to tell Miss Dasgupta anything, is there?
Mr Khanna: ...but we will need her signatures...
AD: You leave that to me. No need to worry your head about that...

AD made his way to the car fuming. Sits in the car and thinks 'So Durga has started to take actions without consulting me now. I must put a stop to it..(thinks who could be influencing Durga)...Walia!'
Drives to WM. Jai is in his study working. AD enters without knocking.

AD: Ahhh Walia! Good to see you are keeping yourself occupied although I can't think what with now that you don't have any responsibilities..
Jai just looks at him. AD waits for a response but gets none.
AD: ...after all Durga has taken them all... and soon I will be there beside her (pauses) ...helping..sharing everything with her ...perfect! Don't you think we will make a formidable couple?
Jai: Get to the point, AD! I don't have time to listen to your hallucinations...
AD: Very Well, have it your way...STAY AWAY from Durga, otherwise the consequences will not be good for you or...(pauses)
Jai: or what? I am not afraid of whatever you can do to me...
AD: ...or...Durga, is what I was going to say! You do remember that little CD of Sahil's that Pia showed in court? I have it now and we wouldn't want it to resurface if Durga decides to become your Bani again, would we? ...(threatens)...You will be getting your divorce papers quite soon, make sure you sign them or else....
He left Jai with his mind in turmoil. How could they have forgotten that CD and even dreamt of living together one day soon.

That Friday Jai made love to his wife in desperation as if he could absorb her within himself. Later as they lay there he could still not bring himself to loosen his grip around her. Bani tried to wriggle herself into a more comfortable position but gave up when the arms around her tightened further and she flopped against his chest.
Bani (mumbles): ..tell me...
Jai: Hmmmmm...tell you what?
Bani gave out a sigh of experation. Her husband was still finding it difficult to tell her things that he thought could hurt her! Honestly, what was she going to do to get through to him that she could face anything so far as he was with her. She didn't want to push him but...

Bani: You have nearly broken all the bones in my body and you are saying nothing is the matter ?!?
She could feel Jai struggle with his innate sense of protecting her until eventually she felt him relax slightly
Jai: AD paid me a visit and more or less said I was to stay away from you ... and he is going to send me our divorce papers.
Bani: Divorce papers? but I rang the lawyer and cancelled the divorce just after I told you about it... How dare he! How can he start something again when I cancelled it? How?
Jai: There is more ...Do you remember that Sahil CD which Pia aired in court when I was getting the custody of the kids? (Nod from Bani)...He has it now.

Both talked about it and came to the decision they would have to get the CDs. The only option was for Bani to try and find them. Jai hated the idea and argued against it but he could not come up with an alternative unless by some miracle Sahil turned up alive. Jai hated to see Bani so tense and worried...
Jai: I'm sorry...
Bani: what for?
Jai: (laughs) ... for nearly breaking your bones! But you can rest easy because you are now returning the compliment...
Bani relaxed her hold on him. He always did this, suprised her with something outrageous when she was least expecting it!
Bani: (angerly) So you should be sorry... because I do have a complaint against you ...(nips his shoulder lightly on the way to whisper in his ear)... I feel you didn't quite complete testing all my bones thoroughly so....
Laughter followed with Jai trying to discover the untested bones in question until eventually passion reigned and Bani felt sure her bones had just melted away!!!!

At AD house and office Bani had tried to find the CD but to no avail. The only place she had not searched thoroughly was AD's bedroom but looked like that was where it would be. Ma was resting, AD was at the office and the girls had gone visiting so this looked like her chance. Bani crept into his bedroom and started her search getting so carried away that she did not notice the door becoming ajar.
Ma: Durga, what are doing?
Luckily Bani was not rummaging but was making her way to the large cupboard hidden away behind some curtains..
Bani: (looks around guiltly) Nothing. I was passing the room and thought I heard something in the room
Ma: well, doesn't look like there is anything wrong... but now that you are here you might want to see how you would like the room decorated.
Bani: Ma! I told you before I do not want to marry AD. Why don't you believe me? ... Jai and I are already tied for the next 7 lives and beyond so please believe me.
Ma: If that was the case then why did you divorce Mr Walia? ... Yes, Jeet told me that your divorce is now complete...
Bani: NO... I stopped the divorce...
Ma: Are you telling me Jeet is making all this up? Why would he do all that?
Bani is speechless and left in a dilemma. How could she tell Ma about the blackmailing? It would be such a shock to her and might lead to another attack...Bani didn't want anything to happen to Ma because of her so kept silent.


< I was still getting to the CD part and Jai/Bani getting together but KS has moved on faster than I have been able to update! So I'm going to gloss over it a bit and get to how AD came to his senses! >



Bani had been seeing Rano on a regular basis and had been pouring her heart out to her. Rano decided to tackle AD about his insistance to get married to Bani

flashback as per KS


AD comes across Bani looking for CDS
AD: Is this what you are looking for dear Durga? I warned Walia not to come between you and me but he never listens... well let's see what I can do to persuade him ...
Bani: ...stop! What are you going to do?
AD ignores her and gets into the car with a few of his heavies. Bani bangs on the car window shouting. As the car leaves, she rushes to go to WM. On reaching there sees Jai being held by 2 of AD's men. On seeing this rushes to Jai but is caught by AD
Bani: Let me go! (struggles with AD)
AD: See what the consequences are for not doing what I said. All he had to do was sign the divorce papers... and I would have destroyed these CDs...(waves CDs in the air)
Bani: You really think I would have married you ... never ... I would rather have spent my life in jail than with you ... let me go...

Ma had seen Bani rushing after AD, banging on his car window to stop him and had decided to follow Bani...
Ma: What is happening here?
AD hold loosens on Bani and she rushes to Jai. Ma looks at AD and then Jai, understanding dawns and she looks shocked.
AD: Ma!
Ma comes up to AD and slaps him. AD looks shocked. CDs drop to floor.
Ma: I should have done this a long time ago... I have always taken your side.. even against my own daughter so she had to go looking for support from outsiders. But not anymore... After Pallavi I thought you would have learnt that anything you keep forcefully will never be yours...

AD: (thinks) What the hell am I doing ?!? Until Ma put the idea of marriage to Durga in my head, I never even looked at her in that manner for 5 long years... and now I am ready to commit a crime just to satisfy a whim...
AD: You are right, Ma... I don't know what came over me... You and the girls were so happy with the notion of Durga becoming my wife that I also started looking at her as a part of us... without taking into consideration her wishes...
Goes up to Jai and Bani, picking the CDs on his way
AD: I am sorry, Durga... (gives her the CDs) Please find it in your heart to forgive me... You too Walia...
Jai: I will always be grateful to you for rescuing my Bani from the fire. If you hadn't done that she would not be here with me now and I can forgive you anything for that...
Bani: .... you were there for me when I needed help and that is what I will always remember...
Bani goes to Ma and hugs her
Bani: Thank you Ma...
Ma: Happy now? (smiles)
Bani blushes and nods.
Ma: If you don't mind I would like to keep a small family puja for you two tomorrow, a sort of 'sending a daughter to the in-laws' ceremony. Is it Ok with you?
Jai: Yes, Maaji. I will bring Bani back to your house a little later and she can stay there until tomorrow.
Ma: (bustles): Jeet, come along ... we have work to do for tomorrow...
Both leave. Bani and Jai look at each other and then the CDs in Bani's hand.
Jai: (pulling Bani towards his office): Do you know someone once told me that you can permanently destroy CDs in the paper shredder! Let's check out their theory....
Bani: Mr Walia, No! You'll just break it...
They argued on their way to the office and ended up in the kitchen instead and eventually settled on the tried and tested method of breaking the CDs using a hammer!

<
Hope you enjoyed that. The reason I showed AD as just being infatuated with Durga is that I want him to end up with Rano (as some of you have suggested!). Sadly, I'm not going to have time to keep ahead of the KS story so I will give you a gist of where my story would have gone-

Rano and AD get together,of course

Raashi leaves Ranveer and he goes back to being mamma's pet

Jigs tries to slow poison Bani and is caught by Aditya and Jai. All decide to leave WM and promise not to return until Jigs learns the value of relationships compared to the transient value of money and class. Jai takes his family away to live in his mother's old house, Aditya, Dadi and Nattu go live with maasi.

Jigs comes to know the value of her family as there is noone there for her anymore- noone to listen to her boasts, noone to stand up for her when Ranveer tries to bully. She tries to go and make Bani jealous but sees the happy state of affairs in their little house and leaves feeling even more lonely. Basically, Jigs is like a empty tin rattling away in a big drum! Ranveer tries to run her down one day and she is saved by Bani. Once recovered asks forgiveness from all and fetches them all to WM. Gets together with Aditya again!

Now for Pia, can you imagine what torture it would be for her to see both of her sisters married into 2 of the best families while she is left with nothing! She has always been full of her beauty and getting what she wants and to be left with nothing would be the best outcome for her. I already put her in the mental asylum in part one of my script and there she should stay! The main thing in my story would have been that Bani would always stand between her sister and her husband and she would accept that her sister is a trouble maker and not worthy of any loyalty.
But I do want Pusky to turn up married to that nice doctor. She was a bit taken with him and they can come to claim Veer.

And no more time leaps except one at the end of 18 months-
Nattu finally finds a girl and gets rid of that silly hairband!
Just after the wedding celebrations both Bani and Rano end up in hospital having their respective babies, with worried husbands and bundles of joy at the end!

>
Edited by nikkitherealist - 18 years ago
swatinarang thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#37
dear just loved ur script and good that ur AD realized the things and i am happy that moti got some mind and slapped AD and helped bani.

rano and AD will be nice together 😉

swati
ridizzz thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#38
Awesome ending.
liked it.
👏

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