Candle In The Wind © (3)-End-Pg85-9/5 - Page 32

Oh My God!The updates are just so lovely.As always I love reading your FF.Thanks for making me a teenage FB player.
I really missed reading the updates.
Shiya

Hey Sheena,

Finally I caught up on the last two chapters...I am soooo happy with the treatment meted out to Jigs....that was theeeeeeeeeeeeee best.... 👏 👏 👏 She sooo very well deserves that treatment...I like the bonding between the father and daughter...Reya is a smart kid...I would definitley love to see more bonding stuff between ranveer and his son and JW and reya....it's adorably cute.

Garf

Dear Sheena Di,
Just read the post on pg 35.
If to be truthfyll,I really feel its funny.I am of 14 years and I do not prefer to read about S*x pre-marital or after marriage.So,I have alway just skim through those parts.B][Besides you do provides WARNINGS before tose scenes..
But if viewed from a writter's point it is very painfull if someone dictates you the terms and conditions.I will support you to leave writting if the problem is not srted out.Please don't take me inn a wrong sese as I have always loved the FF of two writters and one of them includes you.I promise to read all your ff untill I have to leave this forum,but there is no ecstacy in writting if the writters are not given freedom.
And as for those sensetive immature people ,they should not use internet at all,particularly to read FF's that are not registered as childrens.
And I believe there are more sensitie issues being discussed in T.V.,other Best selling Books,Newspaper and other clips.So,personally it sounds 'disgusting' to hear someone calling this FF as an 'influence' to some immature teenager.And in this twenty first century these issues arte so common that there is nothing to feel ashamed of while discussing,specially when we cann't discuss it with parents,teachers or friends freely.And this media of connection as I believe is the only way to know more about something you need to know in your life,something which will help you afterwords in life,ang these topics need to be discusse too to know the aftermath of its effect.
It is estimated that after every 3 seconds a child is born and after every 18 seconds a person suffers from AIDS.Do you think not talking of it will lead to the stopping of these activities?

hey sheena,

I have never commented on your ff before but has always kept track of this one. I do immensely love your ff and your way of writing. Now the fact that someone complained abt ur ff, I think that person is highly immature to say something like that. If the person had any pblm then he/she should have come to you in person than going to GM.

I am a conservative person and i do not beleive in pre marital sex or casual sex. but it is strictly my beleif and i am not stupid to think that it does not exist. I think ur ff has more values than the current hindi serials. I just want to say that you are doing a wonderful job of entertaining us by writing this ff. I like the way emotions are portrayed and I am waiting to read the next parts. Please continue soon and dont take these things to heart.

Shan

Hi Sheena,

I just read the note and u know what the moderators should tell that weirdo to go and take a hike...adn you are absolutely right no one has the right to pass their superior judgements on what others write...and the best part there is nothing about your ff which raises an eyebrow so I wonder where exactly does the problem of influencing teenagers lie..has that person not read the kind of factual details you give in your story which makes it sooo rich and informative....I hope the moderators do fair justice...cuz u are a great writer and we all love reading the wonderful stories you weave...

Garf

Hey Sheena, just read your note and am as bugged as you. Please don't pay any attention to this hypocrite who doesn't even have the courage of her convictions to confront you directly. She is obviously of the ilk that is best ignored. You ff is among some of the best on this forum and I love your JB, Reya, Rohan & Ran Ran. Its obvious with the moderators post that good sense has prevailed and with that looking forward to the next update. You go girl 👏 👏 👏
Somali

Thank You

Hello Every one, it is time to remit my heartfelt thank you to all of the readers, (silent or otherwise) and non-readers for expressing the right to freedom of expression. I have seen the outpour of all my dear friends with petitions and requests to continue and not take it to heart one person's opinions.

After going through the last one week of self-reflection, I am here to say that my conscience is pretty free on writing explicit and graphical details and influencing teenagers. THere were three to four chapters where there were love scenes out of the 44 chapters. The chapters in question are no where near yellow fiction that this person has accused me of, I have always asked the young people to stay out because of the mature theme. Even the pre-marital s** scenes were written saying that abstinence is the rightful thing to do, but there are such things that do happen and if you get involved in such a thing do it with caution and protection.

Being a mother of two, I have explained situations realistically to them and told what the family values are and asked them to respect them. I trust them enough to discuss with me what they are up to in regards to drinking, drugs, pre-marital s** etc. I have read a wonderful poem a few years back and actually made my sons read it aloud.

The outcome of the following poem is vindication and validation of
curiosity and daring to think. The Yellow Submarinesque enfoldings of the package, island, and child stand for the wonders, the wonder of the world as seen by the inquisitive mind and eye. And that is the real reason the poem should be read by people with curious minds.

Note: Feel free to untie the string, to break walls, to walk out of the molds, to burst out of the boxes when you feel something is wrong...Don't always take some one else's word.

Rules are made by society - but they are all context sensitive, there is a time and place for everything.. One rule for three year old can not be imposed on a kid of twenty three....

I don't want any of the readers to admonish this kid anymore, and I do believe it is some one in their teenage years, but encourage to open her mind and read more. Read about censorship on various classic writers in the 1800s, if all the books were banned according to these individuals in the middle ages, today we would be short of a few thousand classics. So enough of my goings on.

As far as I am concerned this is the end of this controversy, the mods were wonderful, the right decision was made, not just for me, but for the other writers who were also on the 'Bannable' list...




Children, if you dare to think
Of the greatness, rareness, muchness
Fewness of this precious only
Endless world in which you say
You live, you think of things like this:
Blocks of slate enclosing dappled
Red and green, enclosing tawny
Yellow nets, enclosing white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where a neat brown paper parcel
Tempts you to untie the string.
In the parcel a small island,
On the island a large tree,
On the tree a husky fruit.
Strip the husk and pare the rind off:
In the kernel you will see
Blocks of slate enclosed by dappled
Red and green, enclosed by tawny
Yellow nets, enclosed by white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where the same brown paper parcel -
Children, leave the string alone!
For who dares undo the parcel
Finds himself at once inside it,
On the island, in the fruit,
Blocks of slate about his head,
Finds himself enclosed by dappled
Green and red, enclosed by yellow
Tawny nets, enclosed by black
And white acres of dominoes,
With the same brown paper parcel
Still untied upon his knee.
And, if he then should dare to think
Of the fewness, muchness, rareness,
Greatness of this endless only
Precious world in which he says
he lives - he then unties the string.

-- Robert Graves

I had a little Sorrow,
Born of a little Sin,
I found a room all damp with gloom
And shut us all within;
And, "Little Sorrow, weep," said I,
"And, Little Sin, pray God to die,
And I upon the floor will lie
And think how bad I've been!"

Alas for pious planning –
It mattered not a whit!
As far as gloom went in that room,
The lamp might have been lit!
My Little Sorrow would not weep,
My Little Sin would go to sleep –
To save my soul I could not keep
My graceless mind on it!

So up I got in anger,
And took a book I had,
And put a ribbon on my hair
To please a passing lad.
And, "One thing there's no getting by–
I've been a wicked girl," said I;
"But if I can't be sorry, why,
I might as well be glad!"

++++++++++++++++++

Ranveer turned and walked away leaving a broken woman behind sobbing her heart out. Jigyasa crumbled to her knees with grief.

When she finally pulled herself together, she went out and found she was totally out of place amongst the festivities, happiness. She brushed aside the overtures made by Aditya and Maasi. During the lunch, she refused to eat with the family. The stoical silence maintained by Jai and Ranveer pierced her heart like sharpened arrow. The loss of respect in Sahil and Anu's eyes made her want to weep again.

She saw Rohan eyeing her warily and wanted to badly go and hug his innocence. But when she looked at Bani and Rano, she felt cold hatred, she didn't think they deserved her apologies, she blamed them for all her problems, her current situation with her family. She still didn't believe that her own family was willing to give her up in favor of the newcomers.

She packed her clothes like a robot. She did not want to stay for the party to celebrate the weddings. She hoped that Sahil would come and stay with her in Panvel, but he refused saying that he has college and Panvel is too far away for him to commute everyday.

She sat in the car alone as it pulled away from the mansion where she lived for the last 15 years.

+++++++++++++++

Jai stood by the bedroom window and watched his sister leave the house. He wanted to run after her and pull her back, tell her if she repents for the acts she has done, he will forgive her and forget everything she did. But she refused to look at him, and didn't want to even acknowledge the presence of Bani and Rano. The bitter feeling was too much to bear for him. He changed into his exercise clothes and went into the home gym hoping to workout his stress.

On his way, he met Bani and Rano who were on the way to the children's nursery. They were trying to put the children down for a nap. The excitement of the homecoming tired them out and they were drooping off on their mothers' shoulders.

With a gentle kiss on both their heads, he reluctantly left them to go to the gym.

Bani noticed the haggard lines on his face and the dark circles around his eyes. She could understand his pain, she wouldn't have liked to see her sister leave, even if she was evil incarnate. She made up her mind to go and talk to him, to tell him she would forgive Jigyasa and would be ok if she came back home. With that resolution made, she took Reya into the nursery along with Rohan.

They both were a little cranky and took their sweet time settling down to nap.

++++++++++++++++

Jai kept remembering his childhood with Jigyasa, alternating the memories with the painful separation of Bani and Reya.

The Gym contained some cardio equipment and free weights, along with some nautilus equipment. He ran for thirty minutes and then started working out on the nautilus. He wanted to push his body as much as he can, punishing it until exhaustion set on it.

He started with the free weights, some squats, lunges and then some crunches. He was sweating slightly and then wiped his brow with a towel. He went to the rowing machine, he felt slightly lightheaded, but ignored the feeling. He continued with the exercise for another hour, finishing up with the stretches. His muscles burned with pain, he felt empty, devoid of strength.

He sat on the crunch bench and stared out into the garden. He needed a bath badly. The tinkling of the bangles made him look up. His brows went high, as he noticed Bani standing in the center of the room, playing with her sari.

"Bani, tum? Is everything OK with Reya?" Jai asked warily.

"She is fine, she is still napping" Bani answered looking down at the floor. His appearance was definitely lacking the modicum of respectability. A faded T-shirt and a well worn track pants adorned his muscle frame. Sweat clung to his shirt and his hair looked a mess. At the same time, she couldn't keep her eyes off of him for the last few minutes.

"I am sorry, I look a mess" Jai looked at himself self-consciously.

"I am sorry about Jigyasa di" Bani rushed into a speech.

Jai looked up surprised into Bani's face. She looked confused and guilt-ridden.

"Why?" his voice hardened and he tried to keep the emotions off of his voice.

She remained silent for a few moments before replying. "Because, I don't want you to lose your sister, if it wasn't for me, she would still be with you!" she shuffled her feet.

"If it wasn't for her, I would be married to you and I would have enjoyed the first five years of my daughter's life" his words rebuffed any more apologies from her.

"Look, Bani – What Jigyasa did was wrong, she is not repenting any of her actions, so why would you? I am not letting anything come between my family and I from now on. My family includes you and Reya. Jigyasa dug this grave herself, she ruined not just mine but Ranveer's life as well." He got up from the bench and walked toward her.

Bani looked like a deer caught in the headlights with each step he took. He stopped close to her. "Bani, would you do me a favor and invite any of your family or friends for tonight's party?" his finger under her chin made her look at him. She nodded mutely.

"Thanks! I need to take a shower. We have a couple of hours before the party? Do you need any clothes for the party?" He looked questioningly at her.

"I will ask Pia to shop for Rano and I" She responded meekly.

"How about something red for the party and may be something really sexy for the night?"

He gave her a cheeky grin and left the room. She stared at him with her mouth agape. The gall of the man!!

Dadi and Maasi preempted his plans and bought clothes for Bani, Rano, the grooms and the kids.

+++++++++++++++++

Jai knocked hesitantly on Maasi's door before going in. She had been like a surrogate mother to him since his own mother died. She deserved to know about Bani and Reya.

Maasi was sitting on the bed sorting out his mother's jewelry.

She looked up from the piles of clothes and jewelry strewn over on the bed and smiled happily when she saw him in the door way.

"Munna, Tum? Aao, Aao – dekho, mein kya kar rahi hoon? Yeh sab, tumhara ma ka hai, uss ka bahu ke liye. I have been taking care of it for so long, now I am very happy that they will be with their rightful owner" Maasi wiped a happy tear from her eyes.

"Maasi, aap mujhse naraz nahi hai?" Jai sat on the corner of the bed gingerly.

Maasi walked close to him and brushed his hair back with her hand.
"Haa, bahut naraz thi, magar – tum jo kuch kiya, uss ka wajeh mein samajh sakti hoon" She looked sad for a minute.

"Munna, mein cheh saal se iss din ke liye tadap rahi thi, magar ek baat poochna hai, mujhe saaf saaf jawab doge?" she sat next to him and let him lie down in her lap.

"Hah, Maasi – mein aap se kabhi jhooth nahi kaha hai" Jai let her wipe his brow with her sari.

"Tum Bani se pyar karte ho?" she probed into his eyes for the answer.

"Hah, Maasi – bahut pyar karta hoon! If she ever leaves me again, I will be devastated – I don't think I would have the strength or the will power to live normally ever again."

She patted his head gently. Her smile grew wider. "Who tumhara bachhi hai na, woh bilkul tumare jaisi hai!"

"Maasi, woh bilkul Bani ke jaise hai" Jai negated her shyly.

"Hah, dekhne mein Bani jaisi hai, magar harkaton mein tumhari jaisi!" She pushed him from her lap. "Jaake Nahao, itna buh aa rahe hai" she pinched her nose with her fingers and made a face.

Jai sat up reluctantly, "Maasi, ek problem hai!"

Maasi stopped in the act of getting up. "Kya? Kaunsa problem?"

"Bani is not ready for the suhaag raat yet, I don't want to force her into anything she doesn't want! I want her to come to me by herself, with love and without inhibitions! So I don't want you to do anything embarrassing tonight." Jai couldn't look her in the eye.

Maasi looked shocked at his candid statement. "Beta, what are you talking about? She doesn't want to sleep with you? But she is your wife, she married you!" Her brow knotted with worry.

"Maasi, of course she wants to sleep with me, she is married to me" he replied with arrogance. "But the truth is, she needs sometime to adjust being married, it's been a bit sudden!" He scratched his neck endearingly.

"Hamare waqt mein…" She went on to tell him how it used to be during her time, how they didn't even know their husbands and they were expected to sleep with them, the very same day of marriage. She stopped when he gently placed a finger on her mouth stopping her flow.

She removed his hand and grumbled some more before acquiescing and promising him she wouldn't do anything in preparation of the suhaag raat.

He heaved a sigh of relief and gave her a small peck on her cheek before leaving the room.

++++++++++

He took a hot shower and went into the nursery to check on his daughter. To his surprise, he saw that she was awake and looking at the ceiling thinking.

"Hi, sweetheart!" He bent to give a lingering kiss on her forehead.

"Hi…" her lids came down on her expressive eyes shyly.

"Reya, would it be so bad to call me papa?" Jai sat on the bed and pushed back the hair that fell on her forehead.

She nodded. When Jai looked at her with hurt filled eyes, she shook her head quickly. "Are you gonna cry if I don't call you papa?"

"May be when I go into my room" Jai suppressed the urge to cry right there.

"Oh! I don't think grownups should cry!" She sat in the middle of the bed and inspected his face again.

"Sometimes, grownups do cry!" Jai adjusted the bedsheet that lay crumpled at her feet.

"What are you wearing for the party tonight?" Jai changed the subject.

"We have a party tonight?" Reya looked excited.

"Yup, do you like parties?" Jai gave her a sidelong glance.

"Pia maasi and I like parties. Mamma, Rano maasi and Rohan don't like parties!" Reya's eyes shone with enthusiasm.

"Then you better get up and get ready, would you help me pick my clothes?" Jai took a calculated risk, he wanted to make friends with her badly.

"Let's go! Pia mausi says, I have ex…ex..visit taste" she tried to say exquisite and gave up on it.

Jai made a face, "Pai mausi" again…he hoped that the girl had some of Bani's influence.

Reya got up and went to his room and she selected a black kurta, pajama with a silver stole for him. She did indeed have a great taste in clothes.

She insisted on combing his hair again and bossed over him. When Bani came into the room, Reya ran to her mother and told her proudly that she picked the clothes for her papa.

"Mamma, I chose Papa's clothes today, aren't they nice?" Jai stilled as the words rolled off the little girl's tongue easily. It was all he could do not to shout out his happiness. Her first time calling him papa. He closed his eyes trying to subdue the emotions that rushed through him. When he opened them, his eyes met Bani's and held in silent exchange of acceptance.

++++++++++++++

Please leave your comments, I haven't proof read my update, sorry - I will do it later in the morning (it's about 3:00 am, and Beenu (BTKR) is telling me to hit the sack...)

One more thing, please read my next post...it's about censorship...

Thank You Note for supporting my stand on censorship and freedom of speech!

Hello Every one, it is time to remit my heartfelt thank you to all of the readers, (silent or otherwise) and non-readers for expressing the right to freedom of expression. I have seen the outpour of all my dear friends with petitions and requests to continue and not take it to heart one person's opinions.

After going through the last one week of self-reflection, I am here to say that my conscience is pretty free on writing explicit and graphical details and influencing teenagers. THere were three to four chapters where there were love scenes out of the 44 chapters. The chapters in question are no where near yellow fiction that this person has accused me of, I have always asked the young people to stay out because of the mature theme. Even the pre-marital s** scenes were written saying that abstinence is the rightful thing to do, but there are such things that do happen and if you get involved in such a thing do it with caution and protection.

Being a mother of two, I have explained situations realistically to them and told what the family values are and asked them to respect them. I trust them enough to discuss with me what they are up to in regards to drinking, drugs, pre-marital s** etc. I have read a wonderful poem a few years back and actually made my sons read it aloud.

The outcome of the following poem is vindication and validation of
curiosity and daring to think. The Yellow Submarinesque enfoldings of the package, island, and child stand for the wonders, the wonder of the world as seen by the inquisitive mind and eye. And that is the real reason the poem should be read by people with curious minds.

Note: Feel free to untie the string, to break walls, to walk out of the molds, to burst out of the boxes when you feel something is wrong...Don't always take some one else's word.

Rules are made by society - but they are all context sensitive, there is a time and place for everything.. One rule for three year old can not be imposed on a kid of twenty three....

I don't want any of the readers to admonish this kid anymore, and I do believe it is some one in their teenage years, but encourage to open her mind and read more. Read about censorship on various classic writers in the 1800s, if all the books were banned according to these individuals in the middle ages, today we would be short of a few thousand classics. So enough of my goings on.

As far as I am concerned this is the end of this controversy, the mods were wonderful, the right decision was made, not just for me, but for the other writers who were also on the 'Bannable' list...




Children, if you dare to think
Of the greatness, rareness, muchness
Fewness of this precious only
Endless world in which you say
You live, you think of things like this:
Blocks of slate enclosing dappled
Red and green, enclosing tawny
Yellow nets, enclosing white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where a neat brown paper parcel
Tempts you to untie the string.
In the parcel a small island,
On the island a large tree,
On the tree a husky fruit.
Strip the husk and pare the rind off:
In the kernel you will see
Blocks of slate enclosed by dappled
Red and green, enclosed by tawny
Yellow nets, enclosed by white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where the same brown paper parcel -
Children, leave the string alone!
For who dares undo the parcel
Finds himself at once inside it,
On the island, in the fruit,
Blocks of slate about his head,
Finds himself enclosed by dappled
Green and red, enclosed by yellow
Tawny nets, enclosed by black
And white acres of dominoes,
With the same brown paper parcel
Still untied upon his knee.
And, if he then should dare to think
Of the fewness, muchness, rareness,
Greatness of this endless only
Precious world in which he says
he lives - he then unties the string.

-- Robert Graves
For any new readers or old readers, I just wanted to reiterate that my FF has never been about *ro*ica or explicit details. It dealt with so many different things...

1) Horse riding
2) Young girl raising her two sisters with self respect and will power
3) A young boy helping out a human in need
4) Archery
5) Books, Poems, Quotations, Places to see
6) Kabaddi, Holi
7) Horse Breeding, racing
8) Death
9) Separation
10) Good values, family, affection, drama
11) Flying
12) human fraility, strength...
13) romance and
14) finally some love making (I refuse to call it with what was in the message) because for me it wasn't....

So please don't read this fiction if you think I am writing only about passion, consider the fiction as a whole.

..🤗, Beena, thanks for telling me to go to bed....Haila..it's 3:15 now...

AND Sammo Dallas!! No - it's not four updates together. I was in some management training the whole day and came home to see the clothes washer broke along with plumbing....yep, been crazy....😕😕😕

One extra block saved for no reason...