DOTW IX - MARRIAGE

Hello Everyone!

The topic for Discussion of the week is MARRIAGE.

Marriage is the holy union of two individuals mind body and soul for eternity and beyond. Pledging love and commitment to eachother, To have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish to death do them part!

The success of Love remains in the culmination of it into Marriage(In most cases) But what does the success of Marriage lie in? Marriage is an institution, as in an institution; it has its own set of rules and regulations that facilitate its functioning. Since Marriage requires living with another person and sharing a common world, a lot of adjustments are required to make it a success. The Success of a Marriage lies not only in Love, Respect and trust in eachother but also lies in establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual, the obligation is reciprocal, decisions are joint and dreams are shared. The key to success isnt in marrying the right partner, but in being the right partner!

Coming to Jai and Bani's Marriage. Do they HAVE a Marriage in the 1^st place?

They Love eachother immensely. That is the ONLY emotion that their relationship thrives on. Apart from that there is nothing concrete to call their Marriage a successful one… some of the reasons I would say they have failed Marriage would be…

- The main reason I feel is the lack of concept of 'US' & 'WE' in their Marriage. The feeling of togetherness is merely restricted to physical presence. Whatever decisions that they have both made, have been for mainly for the other person's happiness and very rarely their own self. For eg, Bani would think of only Jai's happiness and Jai in return wishes the same for Bani. So if for eachother's happiness they require to destroy themselves, they are more than willing to do so. Bani will divorce Jai for she believes his property is what will keep him happy, Jai would give an unconditional Divorce cause Bani wants that. Do both of them ever realize that if only they had thought of eachother together and not individually, this situation wouldn't be so drastic in the 1^st place? And even today, Bani solely wants Krishna because Jai's happiness lies in the kid(so she thinks!) It is about Jai being a father more than THEY being parents.

- The decisions however small or big they might be, they have never made it together. They tend to force the decision on the other partner and the other doesn't resist or challenge for whatever reason, they simply resign to it, without any question. Bani single handedly decided they will get married, Jai decided this Marriage is going to hold good for as long as he wants purely for the purpose of revenge, I have lost count of the number of times they have served eachother divorces notices, and I have lost count of the number of times Bani has walked in and out of Jai's life and Walia Mansion and she is going to do it all over again! Now did atleast one of these major decisions have the other person's wish involved? No, neither of them felt the need for that! So much so that Bani decided that she would walk away with the Kid, Jai plainly took that without even contesting it. Moreover they don't know the priorities of eachother. Is this mark of a healthy Marriage?

- The most important deciding factor is the Trust element. This is the most difficult part to analysis… do they trust eachother or not? They are very selective when it comes to their trust. When they Trust, it is BLIND, when they don't, they simply DON'T, but the most intriguing part is that Trust and distrust exist together. The sense of Truth in a relationship must be absolute, where is that in Jai-Bani's relationship? They will trust eachother with their lives, but not with their secrets! What makes it worse is that they will trust the entire world over things they don't trust their partner with! This couple is beyond me!

- Another most important that works against their Marriage is the inherent insecurity between the two. They have lost eachother many a times and have found themselves back… but the saddening thing is that, they haven't noted where they had gone wrong and try to correct it. Instead they seemed to have learnt only one thing, They CANT live without eachother. Therefore when faced with such situations again, instead of dealing with it head on and with confidence in the other person, they turn blind and push it away. They don't deal with it, instead avoid it.

All said and done, God has been very kind to Jai and Bani. Knowing he made them for eachother, he twisted events in such a way to get Jai-Bani bound by the most beautiful, cherished, blessed, fulfilling relationship of them all, that of marriage. Destiny has been kind to give these two 2 fresh starts after they broke away(1^st of when bani left Jai over misappropriation of funds, 2^nd during KC) but both them have failed to make it work. What hurts is that both Jai and Bani have always held Marriage with the highest regard, yet they have turned their own into nothing short of a joke. There is no denying they are soulmates and love eachother unconditionally. And their actions are normally driven by Love and solely Love. Love has its own ways, unruly, irrational and impractical at times, But fortunately or unfortunately Marriage is too disciplined to abide by the whims and fancies of Love, cause in Love there are only two people involved and in Marriage it usually a Family which is involved.

Questions for the Week-

1. Do you think Jai-Bani's marriage is a success? If not, then where have they gone wrong according to you?

2. If you think that their Marriage is a success, what according to you was the defining moment of the marriage?

3. Has their Wedding marred their Marriage from the very beginning? I mean has the fact that they never wanted to marry eachother in the 1^st place and the circumstances they got married left an irrevocable mark on them?

4. Do u think Jai-Bani have failed Marriage or Marriage has failed them?

5. Do you think the separation will help Jai-Bani re-discover and put in correct perspective their relationship, eactother and themselves? (cant help, an eternal optimist u see)

6. Among the other marriages in Kasam Se, whose do u think has been successful and whose has failed miserably?

7. What is your personal take on the Institution of Marriage and the requirements for making it a success.

Anyone reached this point? I am sorry for making it boring and lengthy and too preachy. Cant help it, it was the least I could come up with.

Would Love to read ur answers. And yes, before signing off, here is wishing atleast Jai-Bani make their Marriage work when presented with another chance.

God Bless.

Lots of Luv and Hugs

Originally posted by: anushka_5

Hello Everyone!

The topic for Discussion of the week is MARRIAGE.

Marriage is the holy union of two individuals mind body and soul for eternity and beyond. Pledging love and commitment to eachother, To have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish to death do them part!

The success of Love remains in the culmination of it into Marriage(In most cases) But what does the success of Marriage lie in? Marriage is an institution, as in an institution; it has its own set of rules and regulations that facilitate its functioning. Since Marriage requires living with another person and sharing a common world, a lot of adjustments are required to make it a success. The Success of a Marriage lies not only in Love, Respect and trust in eachother but also lies in establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual, the obligation is reciprocal, decisions are joint and dreams are shared. The key to success isnt in marrying the right partner, but in being the right partner!

Coming to Jai and Bani's Marriage. Do they HAVE a Marriage in the 1^st place?

They Love eachother immensely. That is the ONLY emotion that their relationship thrives on. Apart from that there is nothing concrete to call their Marriage a successful one… some of the reasons I would say they have failed Marriage would be…

- The main reason I feel is the lack of concept of 'US' & 'WE' in their Marriage. The feeling of togetherness is merely restricted to physical presence. Whatever decisions that they have both made, have been for mainly for the other person's happiness and very rarely their own self. For eg, Bani would think of only Jai's happiness and Jai in return wishes the same for Bani. So if for eachother's happiness they require to destroy themselves, they are more than willing to do so. Bani will divorce Jai for she believes his property is what will keep him happy, Jai would give an unconditional Divorce cause Bani wants that. Do both of them ever realize that if only they had thought of eachother together and not individually, this situation wouldn't be so drastic in the 1^st place? And even today, Bani solely wants Krishna because Jai's happiness lies in the kid(so she thinks!) It is about Jai being a father more than THEY being parents.

- The decisions however small or big they might be, they have never made it together. They tend to force the decision on the other partner and the other doesn't resist or challenge for whatever reason, they simply resign to it, without any question. Bani single handedly decided they will get married, Jai decided this Marriage is going to hold good for as long as he wants purely for the purpose of revenge, I have lost count of the number of times they have served eachother divorces notices, and I have lost count of the number of times Bani has walked in and out of Jai's life and Walia Mansion and she is going to do it all over again! Now did atleast one of these major decisions have the other person's wish involved? No, neither of them felt the need for that! So much so that Bani decided that she would walk away with the Kid, Jai plainly took that without even contesting it. Moreover they don't know the priorities of eachother. Is this mark of a healthy Marriage?

- The most important deciding factor is the Trust element. This is the most difficult part to analysis… do they trust eachother or not? They are very selective when it comes to their trust. When they Trust, it is BLIND, when they don't, they simply DON'T, but the most intriguing part is that Trust and distrust exist together. The sense of Truth in a relationship must be absolute, where is that in Jai-Bani's relationship? They will trust eachother with their lives, but not with their secrets! What makes it worse is that they will trust the entire world over things they don't trust their partner with! This couple is beyond me!

- Another most important that works against their Marriage is the inherent insecurity between the two. They have lost eachother many a times and have found themselves back… but the saddening thing is that, they haven't noted where they had gone wrong and try to correct it. Instead they seemed to have learnt only one thing, They CANT live without eachother. Therefore when faced with such situations again, instead of dealing with it head on and with confidence in the other person, they turn blind and push it away. They don't deal with it, instead avoid it.

All said and done, God has been very kind to Jai and Bani. Knowing he made them for eachother, he twisted events in such a way to get Jai-Bani bound by the most beautiful, cherished, blessed, fulfilling relationship of them all, that of marriage. Destiny has been kind to give these two 2 fresh starts after they broke away(1^st of when bani left Jai over misappropriation of funds, 2^nd during KC) but both them have failed to make it work. What hurts is that both Jai and Bani have always held Marriage with the highest regard, yet they have turned their own into nothing short of a joke. There is no denying they are soulmates and love eachother unconditionally. And their actions are normally driven by Love and solely Love. Love has its own ways, unruly, irrational and impractical at times, But fortunately or unfortunately Marriage is too disciplined to abide by the whims and fancies of Love, cause in Love there are only two people involved and in Marriage it usually a Family which is involved.

Questions for the Week-

1. Do you think Jai-Bani's marriage is a success? If not, then where have they gone wrong according to you?

I think it is a sucess in that despite all thier problems they are together and also they come out alot stronger. A lot of marraiges would have broken by now due to the problems they faced. I feel jai and bani have worked at their marriage really well.

2. If you think that their Marriage is a success, what according to you was the defining moment of the marriage?

I think that their marriage is a definete succes! for me the defining moment has to be when despite Jai not accepting bani as his wife , still did not turn to roshni though she tried when he easily could have an ex and also did not take bani to truely to be his wife.

3. Has their Wedding marred their Marriage from the very beginning? I mean has the fact that they never wanted to marry eachother in the 1^st place and the circumstances they got married left an irrevocable mark on them?

Nope i do not think that , that makes a difference infact i belive that getting marrieds what brought them close. Things would be a lot different for all of them if bani had not got married because jai would still be the same angry person and dixit sisters would all be suffering still and rano would not end up with sahil either since jai probably would force them to leave.

4. Do u think Jai-Bani have failed Marriage or Marriage has failed them? I do not think jai and bani have failed in their marriage

5. Do you think the separation will help Jai-Bani re-discover and put in correct perspective their relationship, eactother and themselves? (cant help, an eternal optimist u see)

Nope i do not they both already know what they want it may help jai to really for once confess his feelings to bani and say I Love you since he has not so far !!

6. Among the other marriages in Kasam Se, whose do u think has been successful and whose has failed miserably?

I think jygassa and aditya have a succesful marriage despite being seperate have a better marriage than some. I think ranveer and raashis you cannnot comment because raashis still trying and still a chance he might change he remind me off the first jai! and i belive they aer the next jai and bani. Sahil and ranos is the biggest failure i think personally since they so different and having so many arguements major factor is unlike the others they got into the marriage out of choice!

7. What is your personal take on the Institution of Marriage and the requirements for making it a success.

My personal views is considering i have no experiance in that area, that marriage needs work and attention will not stay together without being worked and needs compromise my view on how to make it work. my personal view is i belive in marriage as a romantic 😉 but these days is sooo risky and should think 100 times before getting married! if you do get married never give up on it !

Anyone reached this point? I am sorry for making it boring and lengthy and too preachy. Cant help it, it was the least I could come up with.

Interesting and nice discussion not boring at all 😃

Would Love to read ur answers. And yes, before signing off, here is wishing atleast Jai-Bani make their Marriage work when presented with another chance.

God Bless.

Lots of Luv and Hugs

Anu.

Originally posted by: anushka_5

Hello Everyone!

The topic for Discussion of the week is MARRIAGE.

Marriage is the holy union of two individuals mind body and soul for eternity and beyond. Pledging love and commitment to eachother, To have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish to death do them part!

The success of Love remains in the culmination of it into Marriage(In most cases) But what does the success of Marriage lie in? Marriage is an institution, as in an institution; it has its own set of rules and regulations that facilitate its functioning. Since Marriage requires living with another person and sharing a common world, a lot of adjustments are required to make it a success. The Success of a Marriage lies not only in Love, Respect and trust in eachother but also lies in establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual, the obligation is reciprocal, decisions are joint and dreams are shared. The key to success isnt in marrying the right partner, but in being the right partner!

Coming to Jai and Bani's Marriage. Do they HAVE a Marriage in the 1^st place?

They Love eachother immensely. That is the ONLY emotion that their relationship thrives on. Apart from that there is nothing concrete to call their Marriage a successful one… some of the reasons I would say they have failed Marriage would be…

- The main reason I feel is the lack of concept of 'US' & 'WE' in their Marriage. The feeling of togetherness is merely restricted to physical presence. Whatever decisions that they have both made, have been for mainly for the other person's happiness and very rarely their own self. For eg, Bani would think of only Jai's happiness and Jai in return wishes the same for Bani. So if for eachother's happiness they require to destroy themselves, they are more than willing to do so. Bani will divorce Jai for she believes his property is what will keep him happy, Jai would give an unconditional Divorce cause Bani wants that. Do both of them ever realize that if only they had thought of eachother together and not individually, this situation wouldn't be so drastic in the 1^st place? And even today, Bani solely wants Krishna because Jai's happiness lies in the kid(so she thinks!) It is about Jai being a father more than THEY being parents.

- The decisions however small or big they might be, they have never made it together. They tend to force the decision on the other partner and the other doesn't resist or challenge for whatever reason, they simply resign to it, without any question. Bani single handedly decided they will get married, Jai decided this Marriage is going to hold good for as long as he wants purely for the purpose of revenge, I have lost count of the number of times they have served eachother divorces notices, and I have lost count of the number of times Bani has walked in and out of Jai's life and Walia Mansion and she is going to do it all over again! Now did atleast one of these major decisions have the other person's wish involved? No, neither of them felt the need for that! So much so that Bani decided that she would walk away with the Kid, Jai plainly took that without even contesting it. Moreover they don't know the priorities of eachother. Is this mark of a healthy Marriage?

- The most important deciding factor is the Trust element. This is the most difficult part to analysis… do they trust eachother or not? They are very selective when it comes to their trust. When they Trust, it is BLIND, when they don't, they simply DON'T, but the most intriguing part is that Trust and distrust exist together. The sense of Truth in a relationship must be absolute, where is that in Jai-Bani's relationship? They will trust eachother with their lives, but not with their secrets! What makes it worse is that they will trust the entire world over things they don't trust their partner with! This couple is beyond me!

- Another most important that works against their Marriage is the inherent insecurity between the two. They have lost eachother many a times and have found themselves back… but the saddening thing is that, they haven't noted where they had gone wrong and try to correct it. Instead they seemed to have learnt only one thing, They CANT live without eachother. Therefore when faced with such situations again, instead of dealing with it head on and with confidence in the other person, they turn blind and push it away. They don't deal with it, instead avoid it.

All said and done, God has been very kind to Jai and Bani. Knowing he made them for eachother, he twisted events in such a way to get Jai-Bani bound by the most beautiful, cherished, blessed, fulfilling relationship of them all, that of marriage. Destiny has been kind to give these two 2 fresh starts after they broke away(1^st of when bani left Jai over misappropriation of funds, 2^nd during KC) but both them have failed to make it work. What hurts is that both Jai and Bani have always held Marriage with the highest regard, yet they have turned their own into nothing short of a joke. There is no denying they are soulmates and love eachother unconditionally. And their actions are normally driven by Love and solely Love. Love has its own ways, unruly, irrational and impractical at times, But fortunately or unfortunately Marriage is too disciplined to abide by the whims and fancies of Love, cause in Love there are only two people involved and in Marriage it usually a Family which is involved.

Questions for the Week-

1. Do you think Jai-Bani's marriage is a success? If not, then where have they gone wrong according to you?

I think No because Jai has committed adultry.

2. If you think that their Marriage is a success, what according to you was the defining moment of the marriage?

3. Has their Wedding marred their Marriage from the very beginning? I mean has the fact that they never wanted to marry eachother in the 1^st place and the circumstances they got married left an irrevocable mark on them?

I agree ...i think they should get married again!😛

4. Do u think Jai-Bani have failed Marriage or Marriage has failed them?

Jai and Bani have failed marriage because they both hide the truth and secrets away from each other e.g. band darwaaza raaz and Park Road raaz and also Bani didnt let Jai know she wanted a divorce just to save his property etc.

5. Do you think the separation will help Jai-Bani re-discover and put in correct perspective their relationship, eactother and themselves? (cant help, an eternal optimist u see)

Yes, wehn they are seperated they will find out how much they need each other and perhaps come back again.

6. Among the other marriages in Kasam Se, whose do u think has been successful and whose has failed miserably?

ermmmm no ones has been successful, well maybe Anu and Rohits marriage.

Pia and Pushkars has failed miserabally

7. What is your personal take on the Institution of Marriage and the requirements for making it a success.

2 main things LOVE and TRUST

Anyone reached this point? I am sorry for making it boring and lengthy and too preachy. Cant help it, it was the least I could come up with.

😆 don't worry it wasnt boring...i enjoyed it!

Would Love to read ur answers. And yes, before signing off, here is wishing atleast Jai-Bani make their Marriage work when presented with another chance.

God Bless.

Lots of Luv and Hugs

Lots of luv + hugs 2 u 2, India9

Anu.

First of all nice questions...👏 👏 👏

Here I go I hope answer all of them😉

1. Do you think Jai-Bani's marriage is a success? If not, then where have they gone wrong according to you?

I think they have failed to obtain the main part of their marriage, and that is the honesty. Neither "Bani come clear yet on why she claimed the divorce alimony or what happen to their child, or nor "Jai has came clear about his past or what happen between him and Pia in Dubai.

2. If you think that their Marriage is a success, what according to you was the defining moment of the marriage?

Yes in some how I think their marriage was success because despite of everything that has happen between them, they stayed together and even decided to give chance each other so to workout things but unfortunately they forget that the time doesn't wait for anybody and it is a chance that comes and goes away to never return, and it is up to you whether you take that chance or not.

3. Has their Wedding marred their Marriage from the very beginning? I mean has the fact that they never wanted to marry each other in the 1st place and the circumstances they got married left an irrevocable mark on them?

No I don't think it that makes any difference now but in fact I believe that getting married both of them was what brought them closer. Things would have been a lot different for all of them and if "Bani had not got married to "Jai she would probably been the same person she was from the beginning helping her sisters for their better future.

4. Do u think Jai-Bani have failed Marriage or Marriage has failed them?

Yes I think they have failed both of them their marriage because of their lack of honesty about everything and communication.

5. Do you think the separation will help Jai-Bani re-discover and put in correct perspective their relationship, each other and themselves? (cant help, an eternal optimist u see)

Yes and I think Jai is one who it mostly suits the separation in order to find out what he really feels for "Bani and than maybe confess to her. Soo yeah it will definitely help them to put things correct once and for all and beside I still doubt that "Jai being the father of Pia's child.

6. Among the other marriages in Kasam Se, whose do u think has been successful and whose has failed miserably?

I would say Sahil and Ranu marriage has been success for the time being and as it goes for the other couple Ranveer and Rashi their marriage has been nothing but miserable.

7. What is your personal take on the Institution of Marriage and the requirements for making it a success?

Well in order to work the relationship in marriage, there has to be a compromise between the couples. Honesty is the main defining. They have to share their individualism thoughts and communicate a lot, what is or will be right and what is wrong in the relationship one doesn't have the right to decide without knowing the one's opinion.

Anyone reached this point? I am sorry for making it boring and lengthy and too preachy. Can't help it, it was the least I could come up with.

No it was absolutely not boring at all and I loved answering. 😉

Would Love to read ur answers. And yes, before signing off, here is wishing at least Jai-Bani make their Marriage work when presented with another chance.

I don't think they need wishes but the time will once again arise and love always finds his way soo lets wait and see what the destiny decides for them.

Always luv...

hanaane...

Questions for the Week-

1. Do you think Jai-Bani's marriage is a success? If not, then where have they gone wrong according to you?
No and Yes. No because they have not yet recognized the essence of marriage which is WE rather than U or I. Both think of each other which is the first step but WE is the word which sustains the marriage. Yes because of the way they got married and reached the point where they are today.

2. If you think that their Marriage is a success, what according to you was the defining moment of the marriage?
I'd love to say June 19th but I think it was when Bani embraces Jai knowing that the Bomb was about to go off and he welcomes her with open arms.

3. Has their Wedding marred their Marriage from the very beginning? I mean has the fact that they never wanted to marry eachother in the 1^st place and the circumstances they got married left an irrevocable mark on them?
Yes their Wedding did mar thier marriage but if did not define it. They got to know each other and then they became soulmates so even though their wedding was not want both wanted they might see things differently today and in the future I hope.

4. Do u think Jai-Bani have failed Marriage or Marriage has failed them?
That is a difficult one Anu. I think its both because either way they did not reliase the significance of Marriage and i cannot decide if its their fault or they are not meant for the marriage institution

5. Do you think the separation will help Jai-Bani re-discover and put in correct perspective their relationship, eactother and themselves? (cant help, an eternal optimist u see)
Yes, I hope so.😃

6. Among the other marriages in Kasam Se, whose do u think has been successful and whose has failed miserably?

7. What is your personal take on the Institution of Marriage and the requirements for making it a success
Respect for each other, Love, communication and Honesty are the Critical elements to succeed. You may not see eye to eye on most of the things but you need to respect the others POV and love him/her enough to let them pursue their life with you by their side....

Anu,

Am looking forward to reading everyone's replies.That was an interesting DOTW. Made me go into a introspective mode but now need to get back to my Angel-daughter who wants to eat Pancakes...😃

Been married for 8 years..

Nidhi

Wonderful topic Anu...A sure treat for all of those who are married and also for those who are not! Being married for close to 6 years, I can only end with a statement;

'Shaadi ka Ladoo; Jo khaye pachtaye, Jo naa khaye, woh bhi pachtaye."😆

Cheers,

MT