Jai Walia, a hurt man.
Time and again, Jai has said that what he shares with Bani is deeper than love. That 'love' isn't adequate enough to convey the profundity of their relationship. 'Akelepan ka rishta' he called it.
Today Bani has broken that bond, and broken it in one blow, rough and bitter, in Jai's eyes.
Months ago, the first ever intimate moment that these two shared was when they spoke of their mothers. That day Bani had returned from a Puja kept for her mother's birthday. Despite the bitterest truth of their lives, their unwanted marriage, which created a relationship of awkwardness for her, and disgust, and betrayal for him, they were able to connect, and connect to the deepest facts of their lives, the absence of their mothers.
'Kaash tum Pia ki pehen nahi hoti.'
Today, once again, they spoke. She spoke and he spoke when Jai invited her to his mother's death anniversary. . This bond of loneliness had given him companionship he never experienced in his life, especially after his mother's demise and Bani took it all, rather snatched, with a few words.
The one Jai expected to empathize with him most, left him. She seemingly left with hardly any sympathy.
'Aaj mujhe afsos hai kit um meri biwi ho.'
Bani hurt Jai's heart, and he said so. Bani, in Jai's eyes, crushed his sentiments like never before.
............................................
And along with his, hers too.
……………………………..
Bani, a torn woman.
Bani is at crossroads. Perhaps she isn't confused any more. She has decided. In her plan to deal with this situation, she has decided to endure all the pain, and shame that will come her way, and all along to save the man she loves.
To intentionally hurt the person you love is not easy, and even harder is to hurt that very person again and again and again. And much harder is to hurt that person, and go away. And the hardest is to hurt to be hated.
And Bani is going through all of this.
Bani is alone in this quest that she has engaged in that doesn't have a positive outcome. She is the loser either way. The daughter in her won't allow her to stay with the killer of her husband. The wife and lover in her will destroy her with guilt, and pain. The mother in her is helpless in front of the daughter in her.
She has a friend in Pushkar. That's true. But its also true that Bani is someone who will share others' sorrows, share her happiness along with theirs, but will keep her agony to herself.
………………………………..
Like Jai says, what makes Jai-Bani the couple they are is their unique understanding.
Although Rano has always acknowledged Bani as the mother figure in her life, Bani herself never impressed upon her sisters that she had to mature too early to fill the void of a mother in their lives. But Bani has always shared this with Jai.
Similarly, Jai has never impressed upon Jigyasa that he has looked after her as a father (at least so far) , yet he shared that with Bani.
Theirs is such a similar background, nature, and understanding that they speak knowing that they will be understood.
Today that understanding seems to be shadowed by misunderstandings, some intentional, some not. Today's scene was so heart wrenching. Though the viewer will involuntary feel Jai's pain, I felt equally miserable for Bani.
She wants to leave Jai bowing to her loyalties to her family. At the same time, she does not want to leave him with a 'this could have been' frame of mind. She wants him to hate her, and hate her so…that he won't have any regrets or sorrows in his future.
Right or wrong in her actions, I can't tell. Perhaps, its neither.
………………………………..
A very sad episode in terms of the graph of their relationship. It seems to have hit its low today, and for some reason I just felt like writing! Im definitely not blaming either of them! I just wrote from both POVs for a change. What? No, not the defence prosecution POV! but the POVs of Jai, and Bani. My friends, looks for the hint hint qualifications before questioning my loyalties. 😃Yeah, guys I can see you telling me to worry about updating my FF😆, and not such posts!
Luv, Jojo
