*warning: this part is very long*
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prologue
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'Baba, dawai.' The frail man tried to sit up in his expensive bed, looking older than he really was. His coughing started again and a girl, holding a bottle in her hand, rushed to his side. She sat down next him and helped him sit up straight while rubbing his chest.
'Kam ho raha hai?' she asked him. He nodded with a faint smile. A smile that told the girl that he was lying. She opened the bottle and put one pill in the man's mouth. A glass of water was brought to his lips and he swallowed the pill. The bout of coughs had drained him from his energy and he closed his eyes. The girl helped him lie on his bed properly and covered him with a quilt.
'So jaayiye.' She whispered and exited the room. She looked back once and sighed deeply. He needed his son next to him in a moment like this, but you cant deny your destiny.
Uday Walia was lying on his deathbed. Phneumonia paired with several severe internal infections of wounds refusing to heal, which were the result of a road accidents four months ago, were making him breath his last breaths.
He was waiting for two people only. His estranged wife and son. Uday Walia had left then fourteen years ago because of a misunderstanding and now they weren't here when he needed them the most, but without seeing them one last time he couldn't leave. He wouldn't leave!
Bani looked back at the bed. His eyes were still open. 'Baba, aap so jaayiye na.' she pleaded. ' aap ko aaraam milega.'
Uday Walia nodded softly, but seeing the sheen of unshed tears in his eyes Bani knew he was lying and Uday needed to be alone right. She switched off the light and closed the door. He would prefer the dark.
Bani descended the stairs in the palace- like house. It was huge by Chandipur standards for just two people. Uday Walia lived here. He was one of those persons who had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He came from one of the wealthiest families in Punjab. Uday Walia came to this small town, leaving his wife and son behind with just a chit of paper and one line on it as an explanation. Uday Walia was in distress, not knowing what to do and where to go. On one of the trips he had made when he was still a leading businessman from Mumbai, he had passed this small town and fell in love with it. For his wife he had bought a cottage type house, the largest and most beautiful, and the farm it was situated in. He had decorated it for her in her favourite colours. The house was in the midst of the renovation when fate struck. What had happened no one here knew, but Uday Walia moved here permanently. Bani's father, Nishikant, was the manager of this small farm when it was owned by the previous owner and Uday had kept his services. Uday became a recluse, but Nishikant was the only one he could relate to. They shared more of a relationship between friends rather than an employer and employee relationship. Nishikant had lost his wife three years ago. Bani, his daughter, was the only relative he still had. Both the men were soon doting on the toddler. She grew up in front of their eyes. Bani and her father lived at a small distance from the farm but most of the time Bani could be found in the cottage running around, playing and dancing, her biggest hobby until Nishikant became ill. She was just 12 when that happened and soon started taking care of him. Every nurse Uday Walia had appointed for nishikant got tired soon, seeing Nishikants reluctance. Bani took over when she was fifteen even under load protests of Uday and Nishikant. Bani felt she had no other choice. How could she attend school leaving her father sick and under the care of a stranger? Bani promised Nishikant and Uday that she would learn, in her free time. They could take her tests, but she wouldn't go to school leaving her father behind. In a small town like Chandipur it wasn't uncommon for children to drop out earlier so no one paid any attention when Bani didn't return to the classroom after her summer holidays. As promised she studied on her own tempo, whenever she got a bit of spare time. Under Uday Walia's tutelage she might have been ahead of most her peers. A keen interest in English literature was developed.
Nishikant was battling an internal dual for the 4 years he was sick. He didn't want his daughter to be alone in this world but deep down he longed to be with his deceased wife. He saw her in his dreams every night and somewhere along the line it turned harder and harder for him to get on with his life. Depression and an illness he didn't want to know about made the decision easier for him. When Uday took full responsibility of Bani, she was still a minor, just sixteen years old, Nishikant died. To a certain extend Bani was glad to see him go, although she felt so guilty for thinking like that. It was hard to see him like he was. She couldn't see his empty eyes anymore. Seeing him force every morsel of food down his throat. Seeing him fight with himself everyday. After Nishikants last rites Bani moved in with Uday and took care of the farm like she had been doing when her father was sick. Even after Nishikant's death she didn't return to school.
Bani looked in Uday Walia's diary. She found the number she was looking for. Should she call or shouldn't she call? She mused with perching her black rimmed glases further up her nose. Maybe Uday could find some peace after he had seen his wife and son. Maybe he could get better after seeing them. She wasn't ready to lose another person. Not after her father died not even a year ago. The shrill ringing of the phone startled her. Bani picked up the receiver.
'Hello'
' Is this Uday Walia's residence?' A man's voice asked.
'JI haan.' Bani answered.
The man hesitated audibly for a while. Aap kaun?'
' Hum Bani hai.'
'Mai Tony bol raha hoon. Kal Krishna madam aur Jai sir aa rahe hai. Unhone kaha ki aap ko bata de.'
Bani smiled. 'Sach? Aap sach bol rahe hai na?' She asked eagerly.
'ji haan.' The voice sounded strained and agitated and the phone got disconnected. Bani couldn't care about the rude person. She flew up the stairs to Uday's room, switched on the light and ran to the bed.
'Woh aa rahe hai Baba! Woh dono aap se milne aa rahe hai. Kal!' She said exited.
Uday Walia smiled. A single tear escaped the corner of his eye and trickled down on the pillow. He closed his eyes with a sigh.
**
Bani was clearing her bedroom. It was the room with the most beautiful view of the garden and the house she used to live in with her father. It wasn't the biggest room though but it was the room next to Uday's. He has wanted her to stay around him when her father died. She was distraught and withdraw ever since Nishikant got sick. After his death she just answered the bare minimum questions. For his own satisfaction he wanted Bani to be in the room on the same floor as him so he could be next to her when Bani would need him. he would have never guessed that it would be the opposite. Bani would be next to him whenever he would need her.
Bani looked around in the small room. There weren't a lot of her stuff, just a few dresses, her schoolbooks, her hairbrush , the ribbons with which she tied her hair, and the three most important things. A picture of her parents on their wedding, a picture of her hugging Uday and Nishikant on her 10th birthday when she got a bike as a gift, and her ghungroos. Two thick, red leatherbands that covered her ankles and a part of her calves, tied with silver strings at the back. rows and rows of silver bells made a sound that made her heart flutter with joy. She ran her head over the bell reverently. They made a sound. Softly.
Bani looked in the mirror in her room. Her oiled hair was done in two braids, hanging down her shoulders. Green ribbons tied at each end, matching her dark green salwaar kameez. Her father had not know any hairstyle to teach her, but refused to cut her hair. Now Baba also didn't give her permission to cut her hair. Her glasses kept slipping of her nose. She would have to ask Jamshed chacha to bring them to the optician in the town. Maybe the screws needed a tight fitting again.
Bani took her ghungroos, her books and her clothes in her hands. She took uday's keys and opened the storage room next to the house. As for now her stuff were safe there. She cleared her room of all her belongings, changed the sheets and took some extra pillows. Next to this room there were two other rooms in this house. One was a bedroom, the other room was locked. Only Uday went in that room and Bani never asked what was there. She only knew that he came out with moist eyes. she had not dared to ask why, respecting his privacy but growing up she imagined that there were treasures and hidden secrets in that room. She had named it 'the secret room'.
Opening the windows for some fresh air Bani thought about the sleeping arrangements. This room could belong to either belong to Baba's wife or his son. She would just let them choose. She could move downstairs. The sofa was pretty comfortable but the upholstery would bother her. it was of a sort of suede that attracted all kinds of dust. It would bother her. the last time she fell asleep on it during the day her eyes got swollen and Baba started panicking, she remembered. Bani decided to drag a mattress out of the storage room. It would be much more comfortable. Just a cotton sheet over it and everything would be fine. Bani took the keys again and with a bit of a struggle managed to drag a mattress out of the room. She started beating the dust out of it and proceeded to make dinner. She was looking forward to meet Baba's family.
***
Bani heard the car approach the door. She ran out of uday's dark room after seeing his eyes brighten up and smile at her. she had returned his smile. she knew what he had wanted. Bani ran down the stairs to the small temple in the corner. she took the thali and walked to the door carefully balancing it on one hand and putting her pallu on her head with the other. She stopped near the door and saw three people stepping out. Jamshed chacha was getting the luggage out of the car. A woman stepped out in a exquisite sari in a light red shade. Uday's favourite colour, Bani couldn't help noticing. And now she knew why. It made the porcelain skin of the woman in front of her glow, even though she looked tired and worried now. She just had a few wrinkles around her eyes. her hair was pulled in a bun. She had a mangalsutra around her neck and her parting was filled. Bani wanted to jump with joy. She still considered herself married. A man stepped out of the car too. Black, polished shoes, black trousers on long legs made their way out of the car. A bronzed hand rested on the door and the next moment she saw a tall man wearing a white shirt standing next to the women. He perched his sunglasses on his head and then she noticed the bronzed skin of his face and the grey eyes. Baba's eyes, his height, his colour. but not his smile. he didn't smile. He looked at her in a way that scared her. She couldn't ignore the fire she saw in his eyes.
Bani settled her gaze on the woman next to him and started doing their arti. The woman smiled at her when Bani put a small tika on her forehead. She raised her hand in the direction of the man to do the same, but he didn't move towards her. he stood there rigidly. Bani;s hand stayed suspended somewhere midair. SHe didn't know what to do. His eyes looked at her like he was accusing her of somewhat. Bani stepped back a bit and lowered her head and her hand next. She bent down and touched the woman's feet. To her relief she felt a hand on her head.
'Tum kaun ho?'
'Ji, hum Bani hai.' she answered while raising her body. The man walked swiftly past her, into the house carrying a few bags.
'Hum yahan rehte hai.' Bani explained. 'Baba ke saath.'
The woman nodded and stepped in the house. she looked around in the room.
'Jamshed chacha, aap zara baaki ka samaan ander le aana, hum inko baba ke paas le jaa rahe hai.'
'Theek hai bitiya' the driver replied.
Bani put the thali away.
'Aap baba se milna chaahte hai. woh kab se aap dono ka raah dekh rahe hai.' Bani said.
To her surprise the woman teared up. She nodded at Bani. the man didn't say anything but Bani saw him clench his fists and hide it in his pockets. Bani led the way up the stairs, towards his room. She knocked on the door and entered. 'Baba, dekho kaun aaya hai.' she said with a smile.
The room was so dark. she looked at Baba who was trying to adjust his eyes. he was crying but this time it wouldn't be bani who would wipe his tears. His wife walked to him and sat down next to him on the bed. Uday held her hand and at that moment both of them couldn't control their tears. She fell on his chest, sobbing gravely. Bani smiled when she saw Uday kiss the top of her head. The heard a faint whisper 'Sorry.'
This was a family moment. Bani wasn't needed here right now. she turned around to leave the room when she saw the same grey eyes. his eyes were fixed, looking at everything that happened in this room with an all consuming fire in his eyes. Bani looked away quickly and left for the kitchen. She wanted the guests to be comfortable. She would send something to eat and drink up soon.. that way Baba would eat something too.
***
Bani showed Uday's wife the room next to Uday like Uday had requested. Bani had given her room to Jai. Uday's son, without Uday's knowledge. He would persuade her to do something else. Make some other arrangement for everyone. The room he gave her was just for her, according to uday. But Bani didn't mind. SHe was glad to see the family together.
'Accha laga?' Bani asked tentatively, hoping nothing was left out.
'Bahot accha hai.' The woman smiled sincerely. The light curtains flowing in the soft breeze, the pristine white sheets on the fourposter bed and the deep red roses on the night stand were exactly the way she liked her room to be.
'Baba ne kaha tha.' Bani said shyly.
The eyes twinkled and looked around in the room. 'Bahot, bahot accha kamra hai.' The soft voice said sincerely.
' aap ko kuch chaahiye to humko bula lijiye ga.' Bani said. 'Hum neeche kitchen mai hai.
The woman nodded.
'Oh, hum bhool gaye.' Bani hit her head lightly. She pulled the end of her duppata in front of her. she opened a knot she had made at on of the corners and took the key of the fabric she had entangled it in. 'Baba ne diya tha. aap ko dene ko. Yeh us kamre ki chaavi hai.' She pointed to the door across the hall. 'Wahan aap ke liye unhone kuch rakha hai ma'am.' Bani explained.
'Ma'am nahin.' The woman said. Bani tilted her head slightly, wondering what to call her then.
'Tum unko kya bulati ho?'
'Baba.' Bani answered.
'To mujhe ma bulaaogi?'
Bani looked at the floor for a while, then raised her head and nodded shyly before exiting the room.
Three hours later she saw Ma coming out of 'the secret room with' tears in her eyes.
***
Krishna rested her head on Uday's chest. His health had improved remarkably. She had been here a week and she hadn't been this happy in 20 years. For 20 years she had been wondering why her husband had left her with just one line on a piece of paper. 'You deserve to be happy'
She had been angry with him, hated him, wanted to hit him, but she never stopped loving him. she knew something must have happened for him to leave like this. Leaving everything behind, leaving his wife and son, who were his life, behind after transferring the power of attorney in her name. Now, twenty years later the mystery had solved. Her 'best friend' had convinced Uday that she was having an affair. And Uday, the lovable, stupid and gullible fool had believed that sorry excuse of a woman after a few months. Instead of confronting his wife he had believed that it was better to walk away and let her be happy. She hated him for loving her so much. Uday should have come to her, fought with her, questioned her and told her that he was believing that woman because he felt insecure. Every time he left for a trip he felt that he wasn't being a good husband. She would have convinced him that it wasn't true. They wouldn't have lost to many years, they wouldn't have missed raising their son together. The son who was angry and bitter now, resenting his father. Twenty years later, when he found out the truth he left for Mumbai. It was the same day his accident happened.
'Mujhe Bani ki fikr ho rahi hai.' Uday managed to whisper to his wife.
She raised her head.
' Mere jaane ke baad uska koi nahin hai. '
'You are not going anywhere.' Krishna threatened him.
'I know I am.' Uday said with a soft smile.
'no!'
'Take care of Bani for me will you. She lost her family. She has no one. I always felt I had Jai around me when I saw her. I am worried about her.'
'Kuch nahin hoga.' Krishna said sternly. ' You will be here to take care of her, and of us. You have to get better, you hear me. You are coming back with us, to Mumbai. Bani too'
'Bani nahin maanegi. She will stay here. Yahan pe uska bachpan beeta hai, uske babuji ne yahan uski duniya banayi thi. She wont leave this place.'
' usko aana hi parega.' Krishan said determined. 'She cant live here alone. And we wont leave her. kyun na uski shaadi kara dete hai, Mumbai me. She is a sweet girl. There will be a lot of people that would want her as a daughter-in-law.'
' Bani is just seventeen Krishna. Aur woh zyaada pari-likhi bhi nahin hai. Matlab in school. She quit when she was fifteen to take care of her father. I home-schooled her after that. by Mumbai standards they will see her as illiterate. And I don't want anyone to taunt her with that. She is one of the most smartest girls even though she doesn't have a degree. She manages this farm only.'
' kyun na uski shaadi Jai se kara de?' Krishna said after a long silence.
Uday looked at her startled when Krishna lifted her head to meet his eyes.
' Bani is a calm girl. She will bring some stability in his life.'
'Jai.' Uday muttered. ' I don't know Krishna.'
'Just think about it. Shayed yehi theek rahega. Bani aap ke paas rahegi. Aur Jai'. Mujhe kabhi kabhi darr lagta hai us se Uday. Uske ander itna gussa, itni karwahat hai ki..... woh kudh ko tabah kar sakta hai. Shayed Bani..she has been through a lot too. Still she isn't bitter and angry.
'Yeh gussa, yeh karwahat meri wajah se aayi hai Jai me.' Uday said ruefully. 'Because of my mistake.....'
'It wasn't your fault.' Krishna interrupted. ' If that b*tch wasn't dead already I would have killed her myself. ' She said remembering her so called friend in a voice Uday had heard before. They were fiercely possessive about each other. He still wondered why he left. In college he had fought so many times for her. Why didn't he do that when he needed too? The thought that his wife wasn't happy living with him had disarmed him then, robbed him off his confidence.
'Will Jai agree?' Uday asked his wife, remembering the little boy who had sat on his shoulder, but now didn't even acknowledge him. He had stayed away from him leaving no doubt about the physical and emotional distance between the estranged father and son. 'I want to see Bani safe before something happens to me.'
'Jai will have to Uday, for me. And don't say such thing. Kuch nahin hoga aapko' She bent her head and kissed him on his lips. Something she had never initiated before.
****
A whiff of scented candles and incense reached his nose when Jai entered his room.. Yes, rightfully his room now. He had worked day and night for the past eight years in that bloody company. Ignoring that mans presence there. Even though he left, he never left their lives completely. His mother still loved him. He was young, six year old boy and couldn't understand why. He had cried every night, hoping that his father would come back. once he heard from his mother that Santa claus rewards good boys he used to write long letters about how good he was, so could Santa Claus please bring back his papa. Then he found out that Santa Claus didn't exist. An eight year old boy turned his prayers to God. That didn't work out too. His father didn't come back. So like Santa claus, Jai stopped believeing in God too. What was the difference? Both were just two men with long white beards. Instead he grew up and saw who his mother pined for a man. you cant choose who you love Jai his mother had told him numerous times now. SO his mother couldn't stop loving a b*sterd, who unfortunately was his father.
Now suddenly that man came back and took over his life. He had learnt to live without him. Why couldn't 'that man' understand it. He didn't need a father. And he didn't want to see his mother acting like a love-sick school girl. She was his mother! It was his life! Who was he to encroach on it?!!
Jai hated it when his mother told 'him' proudly that Jai was working in 'his' company. NO! It was Jai's. He worked in it since he was sixteen, not even graduated. He had worked along with going to school, starting in the mail room for extra pocket money and working his way up. He had forgotten his dream of going to America and doing an MBAthere. His mother couldn't see him go. But just one word from 'that man' and she had agreed now! She wanted 'him' to come back home. It wastn 'his' home. It was their home. Only Jai's and Krishna's. and now he was married. To his servant girl. On 'his' instiance. Yes it must have been him. Only for 'thatman' Jai's mother had talked him into doing this. When he refused she put him under her oath. SHe had never done that before. And Jai had to agree. Now he was married to a minor, undergraduate, oily-haired, bespectacled, dehati servant of ' that man', who made her way from the floor in the living room to his bed. For god's sake he couldn't even rember her name, or her face even if his life depended on it.
Jai looked at the girl hurled up on his bed. the flowers strewn all over irritated him. What were these people thinking? That he would be her husband tonight?
She seemed to have noticed him. Under the heavy veil a head turned his side. He heard the faint tinkle of bangles. Hearing that somewhere, something snapped inside Jai.
'You think you are so smart, don't you?' Jai hissed at her.
'Ow sorry, Angrezi to samajh me nahin aati. Kya soch kar tumne aur us aadmi ne yeh plan banaaya? Kya socha tum dono ne? Yehi na, ki woh aaram ki zindagi basarar lega Mumbai me. Yaha to sookhi roti tak naseeb nahin hoga usko. Oopar se tumhaara bojh. Ab mere ghar me jagah mil jaayegi? Meri biwi ban kar. Arre. Mere ghar me naukrani banne ki haisiyat tak nahin hai. Aur yahan bhi to sirf wohi ho, ek naukar. Tumhaare baap bhi wahi tha, aur tum bhi!' And stream of acidy words left his mouth.
' Tumhaare maa-baap to rahe nahin, na khaandaan ka koi patta. Pata nahin ghatiya khaandaan se ho jo ek aadmi ke ghar me itne dinon se pari rahi. Pata nahin Maa ko bhi kaise phasa liya. But I am telling you one thing. Meri zindagi me tumhaare liye koi jagah nahin hai. aur na hi us aadmi ke liye. Is janam me to kya, hazaar janam bhi le lo, to bhi mai tumhe apni patni maanne se inkaar karunga. I hate you and I hate that man!' With these final words Jai turned and left the room and loudly banged the door shut, not paying any attention to the frightened and shocked girl he was leaving behind. Not hearing the soft sobs that she couldn't control.
Jai left the house that instance to go to Mumbai. Three weeks later he left India leaving his wife and parents behind.
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