jeenal, a reporter was given the opportunity to interview a very successful, very wealthy banker, Swati. The reporter asked her, "Ma'am, What is the secret of your success?"
she said "Two words, jeenal."
"And, Ma'am, what are they?"
"Right decisions."
"But how do you make right decisions?"
"One word." he responded.
"And, Ma'am, What is that?"
"Experience."
"And how do you get Experience?"
"Two words"
"And, Ma'am, what are they?"
Swati replied with a wry smile, "Wrong decisions."
Teacher dead
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher, Swati was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
jeenal; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Minku she's a doctor. A small
voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher, Miss Swati; she's dead."
Define Tregedy
Swati is visiting a school. In one class, she asks the students if anyone could give her an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy, Shikhar stands up and offers "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," Swati says, "that would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl, Lina raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off cliff, killing everyone involved ... that would be a tragedy."
"I m afraid not," explains Swati.
"That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
"What ?" asks Swati, "Isn't there anyone who can give an example of a tragedy?"
Finally a Gal in the back, Alekhya raises her hand. In a timid voice, she says: "If an airplane carrying Swati and Raabia were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy."
"Wonderful! " Swati beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well ," says the alekhya, " because it wouldn t be an accident and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss!"
Punjabi in Six Hours
Once Ronald Reagan met Indira Gandhi. She talks about Swati's incompetence in English. Reagan boasts that he can teach Swati in 12 hours, and she will be perfect in English after that. So Swati and Reagan are locked in a room.
After only 6 hours, the door opens, and there comes Reagan, saying "Ae nahin seekh sagdi!" (She can t learn!) Sorry Dii
Jai Walia true software pro...
Jai Walia is a Software Professional!!
Jai: Good evening dear, I am now logged in.
Bani : Have you brought the ring?
Jai : Bad command or File name.
Bani : But I told in the mornin.......
Jai : Erroneous Syntax, Abort?
Bani : What about your salary?
Jai: File in use.
Bani : What about my new saree?
Jai : Variable not found.
Bani: At least give me your credit card, I want to do some shopping.
Jai: Sharing Violation, Access Denied.
Bani : Do you love me or do you only like computers or are you just being funny?
Jai : Too many parameters.
Bani: It was a great mistake that I married a stupid guy like you.
Jai: Data type mismatch.
Bani: You are a useless nut.
Jai : It is by default.
Bani : By the way who was in the car this morning ?
Jai: System is unstable. Press CTRL+ALT+DEL to reboot.
A helicopter was flying above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot, Swati could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
Swati saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it up in the helicopter window.
Swati's said, "Where am I?" in large letters.
The people in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it to the window of their building.
Their sign read, "You are in a helicopter."
Swati smiled, waved, looked at the map, determined the course to steer to the airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the copilot, Lina asked the pilot how the "You are in a helicopter" sign helped determine their position.
Swati responded, "I knew that had to be the Jeen's office building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer!" Hahahaha
Swati Di's EyeSight
An airline pilot, Swati with poor eyesight managed to pass her periodic vision exams by memorizing the eye charts beforehand.
One year, though, her doctor used a new chart that Swati had never before seen. Swati proceeded to recite the old chart and the doctor realized that she'd been suckered all these years. Then the doctor could not contain his curiosity. "How is it that someone with your eyesight can manage to pilot a plane at all? I mean, how for example do you taxi the plane out to the runway?"
"Well," said Swati, "it's really not very hard. All you have to do is follow the instructions of the ground controller over the radio. And besides, the landmarks have all become quite familiar to me over the years."
"I can understand that," replied the doctor. "But what about the take- off?"
"Again, a simple procedure. I just aim the plane down the runway, go to full throttle, pull back on the stick, and off we go!"
"But once you're aloft?"
"Oh, everything's fully automated these days. The flight computer knows our destination, and all I have to do is hit the auto-pilot and the plane pretty much flies itself."
"But I still don't see how you land!"
"Oh, that's the easiest part of all. All I do is use the airport's radio beacon to get us on the proper glide path. Then I just throttle down and wait for the co-pilot to yell, 'AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!', then I will pull the nose up, and the plane lands just fine!"
Channel V Dil Dosti Dance
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
