FF: A Lifetime with you... END: pg18 - Page 10

The sun rays slithered into the dark room, despite the carefully closed curtains…perhaps to awake a certain someone, who was adamant on getting her sleep…

She tossed and turned…placing her head under the pillow, several times…yet that single ray…that single obstinate ray…had pierced through the curtains and through the soothing darkness beneath her eyelids…

She finally woke up…frustrated…tousling her hair slightly…annoyed at Zeeshan, 'first….you don't let me sleep, and then keep the damn curtains open…' she muttered angrily, and strode towards the washroom…yet as she passed the curtains she felt slightly guilty at her outburst…and as the guilt seeped in, she relaxed….and smiled knowing that he had indeed closed them carefully so she wouldn't wake up…she knew that he had been as quiet as possible…all the while, as he dressed. She was surprised he had woken up, much before dawn, all by himself. He hadn't bothered to wake up for breakfast the entire Ramadan. Yet somehow this wasn't unexpected for Zeenat…because she had realized over the little years she had spent with him….that there were certain things that Zeeshan was particular about…that were important to him….prayers…particularly on the day of Eid were his priority. And when it came to these things, he didn't depend on anyone, not even her…he would make sure of that….he was independent, completely independent of her when it came to certain things…he could survive without her perhaps.

Yet, she smiled as she picked her dress, she needed him in everything…from cooking to deciding which dress to wear…God! She needed him for everything, and even as she thought this, a million times…a million things…a million thoughts crossed her mind, when she had needed him…and over their two years in marriage she realized she needed him more than he would ever need her…yet he loved her more than her...but then again when is love about need?…its unconditional…

She smiled realizing he had taken extra care and infact tiptoed across the room…but what he didn't know was that she had known the precise moment when he had left her side, and how couldn't she? She could feel his warmth…his aroma…his essence…despite her sleep…despite her hazy state…despite her tightly shut eyes…she could simply feel his presence or absence. Besides the fragrance of the 'ittar' had filled the room, as he had applied it liberally on himself…she had wanted to wish him then…but she wanted to be dressed when she wished him Eid….she wanted to look beautiful for him today…just for him…and with that she picked her dress…and made her way to the washroom....hoping silently that Zaara would wake up a little later…

She quickly showered, just in case Zaara would wake up…and dressed herself in a maroon long-sleeved, churidar suit…and as she did so, she admired herself, for once…perhaps through his eyes...

She adorned her hands, carefully, with the striking red glass bangles, that clashed with each other, as they slid through her wrists…yet, despite the care she took, a few managed to break…she kneeled beside the broken bangles, picking them…she felt slightly disheartened…because she loved them… 'No, Zee loves them' she corrected her thoughts aloud… 'Who loves what?' she heard him ask, as he eyed her hands that had instinctively risen to tuck her dark tresses, which were now blocking her view of him. He was wearing a maroon sherwani, with an off-white salwar…his hair had a wet look about them…perhaps because of the hair gels he was so persistent on using...or perhaps because of the melted snow in his hair...he had maintained his shave, perfectly…she realized she didn't even have to look at him, to realize how handsome he was looking…

His gaze caught the bangles, and a smile spread across his face…while she mimicked his, as he took her hand in his…helping her stand up…

She waited for him to compliment her...looking into his light eyes, which were for once not gazing back into her dark ones…they were looking at her plain hands, he was caressing her hands, his eyebrows slightly creased in thought…she waited in anticipation for his question, when he finally asked, "you didn't put mehendi?" . "No…no I didn't…" she said smiling, because she knew what his next question would be…, "But why?" he asked looking up at her, when he saw her giggling, her hands slipping away from his…"What?" he asked, surprised at her outburst, "Nothing" she said pulling his cheeks, "You know you're adorable" she said, seriously….there was just something about the way he had said 'but why?', with so much concern, and innocence…innocence which was so rarely visible in him….that made her say it…

He wasn't sure what had brought that up….but it didn't surprise him, he was used to her sudden outbursts…her spontaneous thoughts, ideas….which she presented to him unexpectedly….and there was something about the way she had pulled his cheek, and said that he was adorable, so seriously, with her eyes wide, as if stating a fact…and then as soon as she had said it she had broken into a smile…God! She was so expressive…and it was perhaps these expressions…that made her beautiful…that had attracted him…that he had fallen in love with… "Eid Mubarak" he said extending his arms for a hug, she chuckled, shrugging her shoulders, a coy smile on her face, as she embraced his embrace… "Eid mubarak to you too" she replied… "Zee…Forgive me today, if I've ever hurt you…or your feelings" she said softly as she held on to him….yet there was nothing emotional about the way she asked, it was a genuine request, something she said as a routine every year on Eid… "You know you can never hurt me, Zenny, you know that…I don't know why you even bother asking" he said, almost whispering, as her fragrance engulfed his senses… "But, what if I did, and anyway my parents always wished each other this way" she said looking at him, slightly breaking away from his embrace… "By apologizing?" he asked with an amused expression… "Zee, you never know when you accidentally hurt someone, and I think its good to apologize…and what better time to apologize and start fresh, than Eid?". He considered, what she said…and yet, he shook his head saying, "No, I still don't believe in asking forgiveness, specially of you…because I know that I always end up hurting you…and there's no point in apologizing if you know you'll repeat yourself…". She patted his face lightly with her small hands… "We're different…you won't understand…there's something so assuring when you say I have never hurt you…something so promising in our relationship when you say that I can never hurt you…something so beautiful about asking forgiveness…but you won't understand" she said pausing, kissing him on his cheek, her lips lingering a little longer on him…and then she whispered into his ear, "by the way, I don't mind you hurting me…'cause I know you're worth the pain…"

And she said this so genuinely, that he knew she didn't care if he apologized or not…she had forgiven him already…perhaps that was the real reason he never bothered asking her…He was about to do what he had wanted to do since he had entered…but as soon as he held her face in his hands, Zaara started crying, and there was a knock downstairs…God! He cursed… "Zee! Don't curse…" she said reprimanding him, yet he could see the mischief in her eyes…She picked Zaara, and said "Mummy's here…" as she passed him…gently brushing past him. He didn't miss that triumphant smile…that smile, told him she enjoyed making him pine for her… "I know what's going on in that head…stop laughing at my state" he said as he left the room… "I'm not…." is what he heard her say, as she chuckled….

The door bell was now ringing impatiently, as everyone waited outside in the cold…

He was greeted as soon as he opened the door, first by 'Dad' who embraced him, then by 'Mom' who brushed his hair as she smiled saying "Eid Mubarak beta"… "Looking beautiful…" he quipped, yet there was sincerity in it, because he rarely saw her so dressed up…and it was at these times that he was reminded of where Zeenat got her beauty from…"Zeeshan!" she said blushing and reproaching him equally joyfully… "What about me?" Kanwal asked, "Nah…you don't have that in you" Zeeshan joked, "But I dressed up for you Zeeshan bhai!" she said… "Kanwal, are you trying to flirt with your brother-in-law! Anyway I know well enough whose praise you're waiting to hear and for who you're looking so beautiful…don't worry he should be here…" he said looking at his watch, "Hah! You said I'm looking beautiful…" Kanwal said, yet she ceased the urge to pull out her tongue at Zeeshan, which was what Zeenat would have done, then again she was much more mature than her sister. He shook her head, smiling at Kanwal…she didn't blush at the mention of Vasim…she was perhaps the boldest out of the three sisters…

"Eid Mubarak! Were you trying to freeze us to death?" Imaan said as she entered in with a two-year old Zaki, who quickly toddled off…saying 'Jaala…?' , Imaan giggled saying "God! He was so excited to meet Zaara…", "He can say her name?" Zeeshan asked surprised, "Yeah, it's strange, don't even ask how, he can barely say mom, dad… " she said chuckling…as she saw Kanwal explaining to Zaki that Zaara was upstairs, dressing up for Eid…

"What was going on upstairs?" Ayaan asked rubbing his hands together, a curious look, coupled with a mischievous smile.... "None of your business, bhai, Eid Mubarak!" he said chuckling and embracing his brother, once…it was a brief embrace, yet it was a sort of unspoken gesture, which meant that they would stand by each other, whatever came their way...

When Zeenat, arrived downstairs, with Zaara, who by the way, was looking adorable in her pale yellow frock, with a matching bonnet…she felt overwhelmed with gratitude…to see her entire family….so joyous, enjoying their time…while her parents and Imaan were engaged in a serious conversation, Kanwal, Zeeshan and Ayan bhai were joking around with Zaki. The sight pleased her to no end…and right then she thanked God for surrounding her with the people she loved…praying silently that her life would continue to hold the constancy of her loved ones….

"Finally, you're here…" Imaan said, drawing everyone's attention to Zeenat, "Eid Mubarak" Imaan said embracing her sister once…their hearts meeting as they did so…assuring each other of their affection for each other…after the usual civilities of greeting everyone, and assuring that her health was good, she sat beside Imaan…while Zaki hovered around Zaara, trying to make her smile, when all she did was stare back at Zaki, slightly annoyed that he was blocking her view of almost everything… "Jaala" Zaki said cutely trying his best to make an unyielding Zaara, laugh…

"Kanwal told us about Vasim" her mom said beaming… "Really? What did Dad say?" Zeenat asked excitedly, "Well, he was wondering what is so special about the Khan boys…" Zeenat chuckled at this, wondering herself how the three of them had ended up falling for…as her father said…. 'The khan boys'. "He thinks Vasim, is an excellent boy…for Kanwal, besides he has a fine family…", "And what about you?" Zeenat asked her mother, it was amusing how her mother spoke of her father's opinion, as if that was the only thing that mattered… "Well, obviously, I approve of him, Kanwal likes him, and your father does too, he's a very friendly and frank boy…" her mother said praising Vasim. Zeenat wanted to add her praises for Vasim's personality, how he always managed to bring a smile to everyone's face… as well, but the much awaited guests had arrived then…

The house once again echoed with greetings…embraces…and the usual cordial concerns about each others health…

"Eid Mubarak" Vasim said finally to Kanwal… he smiled a little, when he saw her eyes brighten up as he made his way towards her… "Eid Mubarak" Kanwal replied back…relaxing a little, she had been very anxious…nervous to greet his parents, because he had confessed to his parents that he loved her…this was the first time she was meeting them after he had spoken with them…no doubt his parents had made her comfortable, while his dad patted her head, his mom had kissed her forehead…despite this her heart had been racing…and now as she looked at him all her worries were gone, as long as he was by her side…

Zeeshan and Zeenat greeted Vasim as well…who was quick to notice their matching outfits, "So, you guys have matched your outfits huh…" he said chuckling, "No we didn't, it was a coincidence" Zeeshan said slightly annoyed, he would never match his dress to Zeenat's...some people considered it romantic, but not Zeeshan. Zeenat chuckled, and whispered into Vasim's ear "I matched mine to his…", "What?" Zeeshan asked suspicious… "Nothing, It's between me and my brother-in-law…" Zeenat said, at which Vasim blushed running his hands through his hair, to hide the very obvious blush… "Zenny, hold your tongue, Samina aunty (Vasim's Mom) is right behind you…" Zeeshan said, slightly surprised at how openly Zeenat was talking about Vasim and Kanwal… "Relax Zee…we live on the edge" she said smugly, and chuckled at the confusion on his face, because he wasn't aware that both parents knew about the two lovers.

He was smart enough to know that they knew something he didn't, but when they continued to make a fool out of him, by their silent jokes that only Vasim, Zeenat, and Kanwal could understand…he left shrugging, irritated…slightly more at Zeenat, because she had the upper hand today…she knew more than he did, and she was taking full advantage, teasing him…

The table was set with a variety of pre-lunch snacks…the coffee table was filled with samosas, spring rolls, 'chana chat' (chickpeas), dahi wade…and not to mention the 'sheer korma'.

"Wow beta, you've prepared quiet a bit…" Samina aunty said appreciatively, "It's nothing aunty, the samosas and spring rolls are from mummy, chana chat is Imaan di's specialty and…" she paused blushing, tucking her hair behind her ears "the sheer korma's made by Zeeshan…I just made the dahi wade". Everyone chuckled at her frankness, and praised Zeeshan, except Zeenat's mom. She never understood why her daughter was such a blabber-mouth…she didn't know what to tell when, she shook her head, very angry at Zeenat. "Beta, the dahi wade are excellent" Rahil Uncle (Vasim's dad) said with a smile, he knew Zeeshan had chosen the right girl… "And Zeeshan, how come you never made Sheer korma for us?" he continued in good humour. "Uncle, what can I say, marriage changes you, or forces you to change" Zeeshan said looking at Zeenat acting slightly scared, at which Zeenat glared at him…while everyone laughed heartily at Zeenat's annoyed expression…Zeenat gave in and broke into a chuckle, shaking her head, saying "Zee…" as she looked at him her eyes meeting his…

After a while, of passing food, and appreciations…the mood eventually became a little serious, because everyone grew slightly silent…some anticipated what was to come…yet others particularly Zeeshan, Zaara and Zaki, had absolutely no clue of what was to happen…

"Ali bhai, our son Vasim…" Rahil Uncle said pausing giving a smile to Vasim, he was about to say 'wants to marry your daughter' but that for some reason was sounding strange…impolite….so he rephrased, "I mean, your daughter…" and then he was tongue tied again…he cleared his throat, "It would be an immense pleasure to us, if you would agree to trust your daughter Kanwal's hand in our son's hand…" when everyone was still quiet, anticipating him to speak some more, he continued "We couldn't imagine a better bride for Vasim than Kanwal, and we would love to have Kanwal as our daughter…" he completed…at which Ali Uncle laughed and said "You've my word Rahil bhai…I thought the words would never come out of your mouth" , "Well, he get's nervous" Samina Aunty said pausing, smiling at her husband, and continued "Don't even ask how nervous he was when he had to speak to my father alone for the first time" she finished chuckling.

While the elders decided on the date of engagement which would be six months from now…and the marriage date was set for next year, yes it was a short notice and they were both still continuing university…but both parents decided that it was best if they were married, as soon as possible…as long as Kanwal didn't object…who was slightly flustered at being asked this question in front of her and his parents, she said "It's ok for me, if Vasim doesn't mind", knowing well enough how foolish she sounded. The question was put so suddenly on Vasim that he nervously replied… "Uhh….I…I…I don't mind either…" he finished getting up, cursing Kanwal for putting him on a spot….and made his way to the kitchen, Kanwal followed him still blushing…while Zeenat made her way to the kitchen as well, leaving Zaara in the care of her father, Zaki quickly left Zeenat's side and went to his 'nana jaan' (grandfather) because he was now holding Zaara….on an impulse Zeenat grabbed Zaki and left him only when he agreed to give her a kiss… "You know you're my darling, don't you" Zeenat said leaving him, "Ya" he replied quickly and ran off…God! Zaki was adorable she thought….meanwhile Zeeshan went to the kitchen, hoping to catch Zeenat alone….but the sight that met all of their eyes….surprised and amused them to no end….

Oblivious to everything that was going on…Ayan was in the kitchen with Imaan saying, "You didn't even give me one, since morning!" he said disheartened, trying to cuddle Imaan… "Ayaan! Go…someone might come…" she said irritated, trying to get out of his hold, because she was trying to wash a few dishes…her husband needed some lessons, and she was not going to give him what he wanted everytime he asked for it….

Zeenat saw this gasped, covering her mouth…and abruptly turned bumping into none other than…Zeeshan…who laughed heartily when he saw the very familiar flustered and embarrassed look on Zeenat…she quickly removed the hand from her mouth, which Zeeshan was quick to hold, as he whispered into her ear "You haven't given me one either". She gave him a friendly slap on his face, "Shush! Zee…" and they both broke into laughter as they were struck with a dj vu….

Zeeshan's laughter had suddenly embarrassed not only Imaan and Ayan, who hated being caught once again by Zeeshan…but also Kanwal and Vasim, who had never witnessed this before….

"Guys…" Zeeshan said… "Seriously…get a room!" …. "Zeeshan, seriously you always end up at the wrong place at the wrong time!" Ayaan said, still flustered at being caught like this infront of Kanwal and Vasim. Zeenat slipped her hand from Zeeshan's, gave him an amused look, and said "Imaan di, let's get out of here…" and taking Imaan's hand in hers, she walked past Zeeshan, giving him a look that said she was disgusted, while Imaan did the same as she passed Ayan….and as they walked out the kitchen and into the dining room, their chuckles echoed…As for Vasim, he slowly said "Ooookaaayyy, I….think….I'll….leave-now…." and pointed towards the door…when he actually meant 'thanks guys for embarrassing me, infront of my fiance', Kanwal didn't know what to say, or do, she felt like chuckling, but she suppressed her grin and left the room, following Imaan and Zeenat…

The pair…Zeeshan and Ayan….were left disheartened…but they looked up at each other grinning, shaking their heads…running their hands through their hair… "Damn you Zeeshan!" Ayan said chuckling as he went past him, into the living room…to catch up on all the details of the marriage he had missed…

Zeeshan stayed a while in the kitchen, his arms crossed, leaning on the counter-top…waiting for Zeenat…hoping she would return…but she never came back…so he had no choice but to follow her…

It goes without saying that Zeeshan and Ayan eventually did get what they had desired all day… and they were happy when they finally did get their much awaited gift…a kiss from their beloved wives…even if it was much later than they had anticipated…

Eid brought with it a time to rejoice…re-unite…every year….yet this year it had been amazingly eventful with the animated discussions about the engagement and marriage, between the ladies…and the men who were enjoying teasing their wives about repeating the same things, everytime they had a marriage in the house….

And what's more this was the first time the three pairs were officially marked as couples...so they were open to tease each other…

CHAPTER 17

July 10^th the day of the engagement…was fast approaching…with only two months left, the preparations were 'almost' done…yet Imaan, Kanwal and Zaara couldn't have been more tensed, because their dresses, which they had ordered over the internet…would be arriving anytime now…and then there was the possibility of them not liking the colour…or the pattern, which probably looked better in the picture, but not in reality…and their mother reprimanding them, if their dresses turned out bad…and the list went on…in short they were all anxious…and amongst all this anxiety, Zeenat had found out that she was pregnant with her second child…she was excited to convey the news to Zeeshan…just like the first time…yet, this time she didn't have the time to write a beautiful note for him…so she had decided to tell him one on one, maybe make it special with a little kiss…

She would tell him first, because he was the father and he had the right to know before anyone else. She would tell him tonight…atleast that was the plan, but everything changed with Kanwal's urgent call…

When Zeenat reached home around the afternoon, she received the call… "Zeenat! You've to come fast! The dresses are here!" Kanwal said screaming into the phone, "Really Oh my God! Are they good? Did you call Imaan di?" Zeenat asked…her excitement evident… "Yeah I called she's on her way, you're leaving too right?" , "Yeah, I'm going to, I'll just call Zeeshan up, and let him know that I won't be home…or…I could just call him when I reach…" Zeenat said changing her mind…she had to leave as soon as possible…

She dressed Zaara and herself…and quickly left for her parent's house…

Imaan had reached slightly earlier…and they were admiring the garments, when she entered… "Wow! It's beautiful Kanwal!" Zeenat said, handing Zaara over to her mom, and sitting beside Kanwal's wedding dress…caressing the cloth, out of habit…it was a beautiful wine shade…strikingly dark…much darker than her own wedding dress…she could almost imagine Kanwal in it, she would make a beautiful bride… "Yeah! I love it…" Kanwal said, and rummaging through the pile, she picked the two saris that Zeenat had ordered, one a pale pink, elegantly embroidered throughout, with the same shade…and the other a rich gold, with red embroidery… "Oh I love them!" Zeenat said, again caressing the unfolded pink sari that lay before her…the material was soft, slightly transparent…whereas the gold was a thicker material…yet somehow she felt the gold was more fit for an engagement…it was perhaps the colour…gold…which held a sort of grandeur…and even though she was tilting towards wearing the gold, she thought of asking Zeeshan…because afterall it was his choice that mattered to her…if he liked her in the pink better…so be it…

"These are mine" Imaan said, grinning, and unfolding the saris…one of them was a similar shade to Zeenat's gold…the other was a darker pink...the sort people most likely referred to as 'hot pink' …. "They're both lovely!" Zeenat said admiring the garments…Kanwal's engagement dress was an off white lehenga…much to her mother's disappointment who wanted her to wear a darker shade…'off white' somehow seemed too bland for an engagement…yet with the silver sequins and gold embroidery, Kanwal couldn't help but buy it… "Once in a while you've to break away from the norm Mum" she said to her mom, as her mom voiced out her disagreement on the lehenga… " 'Once in a while?'" their mother scoffed, "All three of you have broken from the norm as long as I know you…whether it was Imaan, who shocked us by telling she was in love…and we had Ayan ask her hand in marriage..." she paused shaking her head disapprovingly, "whoever heard of a boy, asking for a girl's hand in marriage, alone! with no elders…", "Ma his parents were…" Imaan interjected, she wondered when her mother would stop mentioning it, yet her mother continued, as if she hadn't heard her, "I mean he could have brought his uncle and aunt…" she paused, at which Imaan burst out, "Well I think it was very brave!", "Brave…humph…and then you…" she looked at Zeenat, who was smiling, but stopped when her mother pointed at her, "You don't know how to cook, and you shamelessly tell everyone…even those who don't care to…or need to know…that you can't cook well…" , Zeenat didn't say a word in her defence because it was true, besides she was relieved that her mother didn't know that she and Zeeshan had also loved each other, and it wasn't all 'arranged' as they wanted…. "And Kanwal has always been a pain in the neck, with her constant hanging out with friends…and with Vasim…and now this dress" she said getting increasingly frustrated now…because Kanwal still hadn't admitted that she should have listened, and brought a brighter coloured lehenga…when no one said anything for a while, their mother just left the room…angry at all her daughters…while the latter giggled silently, when Imaan chuckled saying "What was that all about?"….

Amidst all the excitement about the dresses…Zeenat decided to share the 'good news' with her sisters…because she couldn't sit there talking to them while hiding the one thing that she knew would mean so much to them…so she told her mother and sisters... "I'll be due in February" she said finishing…her face reflecting the smiles of everyone listening to her… "But isn't it too soon, I mean Zaara is not even one…" her mother said…Zaara would be one year old in two months time, around the time of the engagement… "Yeah I know mummy…" she said smiling sheepishly, she was about to tell her that it's all fate…when her mother said "You guys should plan beta…this is too early, but anyway what's done is done", "Yeah, what's done is done…" Zeenat said repeating her mom, while her sisters chuckled, "besides, it's not like I'm the only one…" Their conversation was left at that, with the arrival of Ayan … Zeenat reminded herself to call Zeeshan up later in the evening, once he was home…

Imaan had informed Ayan, that she would be at her parent's place, and so he had come…Imaan somehow found the time to convey the news to Ayan, he was happy for his brother and Zeenat…yet he didn't congratulate Zeenat, out of respect for her, it was sort of embarrassing to congratulate her with the news, he figured he would do that when the baby was born…

Imaan was quick to show off their dresses to Ayan, who said he liked the golden sari better for Imaan… "Yeah, gold will look better for the engagement, you can wear the gold one too!" Imaan said to Zeenat… "Yeah, I thought it would look good, but I don't know if Zeeshan would like the golden one…I've a feeling that he would choose pink…" Zeenat said a little unsure, "Zeenat, frankly, we as girls know better about what would be suitable for an engagement…I mean the pink's good but it's embroidered in the same colour, so it won't look very good in the pictures, you know what I mean?" Imaan said, "Plus we'll all be in the same shade…it'll be cool…all the sisters in shades of gold" Kanwal said convincing Zeenat completely, "Yeah…" she said thoughtfully "Yeah…you're right…I'll wear the gold sari" with a note of finality….

Towards the evening…the Syed house was chaotic with Zaki crying and raising a tantrum, because he was not allowed to play with Zaara anymore, as she had to sleep…resulting in Zaara crying, because she had woken up with all the noise around her…while their mother and Kanwal handled the kids, Ayan was busy flipping the TV channels in search for something interesting to watch, while their father, who had just arrived from work buried himself in the newspaper….Imaan was busy putting the final touches on the tandoori chicken, and placing it in the oven, while Zeenat was cutting the salad…trying to do it as well as she could, in the hope of proving to her mom how much she had improved after marriage…

Over the dinner, the table was full of life as everyone voiced their opinions, ideas…some talked about the engagement, some about the food, some about Zaara, some about Zaki who was trying to tell everyone something yet no one understood him…Suddenly, Ali Uncle had a spontaneous idea that they all of them could sleep over… "Ask Zeeshan to come too" Imaan said to Zeenat, "Yeah, It'll be fun," Ayan said, hoping his brother would come and give him company. "No, I don't know, he's probably tired, from work, he won't come…" she said sighing a little. Imaan went in the kitchen to get some more of the chicken from the oven… "Well, call him and ask" she said as she passed her, "Oh my God! I totally forgot to call him..." she said her hand hitting her forehead gently… "he must be worried where I am…" Zeenat said cursing herself over her forgetfulness, "I'll call him" she said, and was about to get up, when the phone rang… "I'll get it Uncle" Ayan said, to Ali Uncle…and received the call, from the kitchen phone…

"Hello Ayan Bhai?" Zeeshan said his voice quivering a little from the tension, wondering what his brother was doing at Ali Uncle's place, "Yeah Zeeshan" he said smiling as he looked at Zeenat, who was standing there, with her eyebrows creased…waiting for him to announce the verdict: if Zeeshan was mad at her or not… "Zeenat just remembered you…" he chuckled, "Zeenat is there?" Zeeshan said suddenly his voice stiff, which Ayan failed to notice, and continued "Yeah, she came here in the afternoon, Imaan and me are here too", "Oh…" Zeeshan said…pausing, God! he rubbed his forehead, trying to calm the anger in him…how irresponsible could she be?

He had assumed she was at a neighbour's, and when she didn't come home an hour after he had returned from work, he had frantically searched for the phone diary…and fumbled through the pages, searching for numbers…phone numbers of anyone and everyone in their neighbourhood, whom she could possibly visit at this time…yet everyone said she hadn't come…feeling hopeless, he had wanted to inform her parent's or ask them where she could have gone. The thought that she would go to her parent's had not crossed his mind, perhaps because their house was far from theirs, and she always informed him before she decided to spend the day…and when Ayan bhai picked up the phone and said they were all there...'except him' …he reminded himself bitterly, he couldn't help but feel frustrated at her negligence of him…of informing him. He could hear the excited chatter over the phone, while they dined, he was the only one missing…but all of this wouldn't have mattered to him…he didn't mind Zeenat enjoying the day with her parent's alone…he never had a problem with it even if everyone was there, but him…but the fact that Zeenat had forgotten him…completely…forgotten how worried he would be, forgotten how he would come home to find it silent with absolutely no note…no message…about her whereabouts…forgotten how helpless he would feel… "Zeeshan, are you there?" Ayan asked, because Zeeshan had taken an unusually long pause, "Yeah, I'm here…" he said politely, recovering from his anger…he wouldn't make an issue about this, she had just been a little irresponsible that's all…but he would tell her to not repeat it again, that's all…he wouldn't be angry…he wouldn't…he repeated to himself…the one thing he had learnt from marriage was that you either overlook mistakes, or you fight over them…and he was adamant on overlooking her mistakes…because he knew she didn't mean it…she couldn't, she was his Zenny…and the last thought suddenly calmed him down…and he smiled saying, "So, are you guys having fun, there…" , "Yeah yaar, we are, by the way, congratulations" Ayan said beaming, he had been waiting to congratulate his brother… "For?" Zeeshan asked, waiting for Ayan to complete the sentence, wondering what on earth had he done, to be congratulated… "Oh, Zeenat hasn't told you yet…" Ayan asked, wondering if Zeeshan would have rather heard it from Zeenat, but he let it pass, because it wasn't a big deal…atleast for him… "Told me what?" Zeeshan asked, now impatient… "Well, you're going to be a father soon…" , "Oh…wow…umm…Ayan bhai I'll talk to you later…my dinner's ready" Zeeshan lied, because he didn't want to talk anymore, he needed to relax, calm himself… "Okay…oh wait…Zeenat do you want to talk?" Ayan said holding the phone out to her…Zeenat at that moment screamed "Oh my God! I know what he's saying…", because she had finally figured out what Zaki was trying to say… "He's saying that Zaara's hat is nice and he wants one too…" she giggled, "Zaki darling, you can't wear pink hats" she continued, while everyone enjoyed Zaki answering back to his aunt "Buh, Jaki like pint..." he said frowning…

"Zeenat, Zeeshan's on the phone…" Ayan repeated…Zeeshan was about to tell Ayan, not to bother her, he was going to keep the phone anyway…when he was interrupted by Zeenat, "Zee! Did you hear what Zaki said…he likes pink…" she chuckled, "Yeah…" he said, uninterested… "Zee hold on, let me get the phone from the other room, I can't hear you properly…" she picked the phone from the other room… "Hey I'm back…so umm…I'm so sorry I didn't leave a message, or call you…I was going to call, but it just slipped my mind...our dresses are here!" she said excitedly, not waiting for him to answer…and in her excitement she failed to notice, that Zeeshan was barely replying back… "…I heard…" , "Yeah…they're all so pretty…I'm gonna wear the gold one…coz Imaan di's wearing gold too, she said it'll look better…" , "uhh…Zeenat I'm going to keep the phone now, 'cause my dinner's ready" he lied again… "Okay, oh…Zee…can I stay over tonight, and can you come too, it would be cool all of us having a sleep over…" she said excited, "Zeenat, I've had a tiring day, so I won't come, but you can enjoy yourself…" he said…he didn't even wait to here Zeenat say "Thank you so much Zee…I love you…"

It was after she had put the phone down, that she realized she still hadn't talked to him about their baby…She cursed herself for being so forgetful…It was perhaps because there was so much on her mind that she failed to notice the abruptness…the stillness…the aloofness…in Zeeshan's voice…

She decided to call him…again…she pressed the phone closer to her ear, the ring buzzing in her ear...as if holding it closer would urge him to pick up the phone faster… 'Zee come on…pick up' she whispered into the ring…yet he didn't…she kept the phone down…and decided to call him later, but then as she made her way out of the room…her heart yearned to hear his voice, as she said to him "Zee, we're having another baby!", and as soon as she had this thought, she rushed back to the phone, and called him again, and he picked it up on the first ring… "Zee, I was calling, where were you…?" she asked, "No where, I was having dinner…" he lied, again…he hadn't picked up the phone...because he knew it was her…he wanted to be alone right now…just alone….

"Oh, so you're having dinner without me" she said chuckling…trying to lighten up the mood…for some reason she could feel the stiffness in his voice…she sighed he was probably sleepy… "Yeah, just like you are having it without me…" he replied, she frowned at that, but let it pass… "Zee…", "Yes Zeenat…hurry up, I have to go sleep", she frowned again, something was definitely wrong….she could sense it....so she asked "Zee, what's wrong?" , "Nothing" , "Zee, talk to me…do you want me to come home? I want to know what's wrong…" she said, the agitation in her voice clear… "Nothing, is wrong Zeenat, just tell me why you called…" , "Well…I…forget it…I'll tell you when I get back…I lo….", yet, her sentence remained unfinished… she sighed, shaking her head…and let out a bitter laugh as she whispered 'I love you' into the periodic beeping of the phone…she closed her eyes…shut…and slipped down, burying her head in her arms…

'Zeeshan there's one thing you always manage to do….don't you….hurt me when I'm the happiest….hurt me when I want to make you happy…Congrats Zee…Congrats you've done it again…' she thought bitterly…it was after a while that she realized that her tears were falling…aimlessly…frustrated she ran her hands through her hair, letting out a sob….God…why couldn't he just talk to her…tell her what the problem was…after a while of sitting by the phone, hoping he would call back she decided to sleep…somehow…the chatter…the merriness outside the room…seemed uninviting…somehow the very reason that she wanted to stay here…stung her…just like it stung the silence of the room…

And as her tears gradually dried, as unconsciousness slowly engulfed her, as she dreamt him beside her…she felt the need to hold him, the need to see him….the need to hear him say 'Zenny, I love you…' and make love to her, just the way he had when she had conveyed the news of their first child…turn stronger….and with a jerk she woke up…only to find the lights turned out…the house silent…it hurt her…the fact that he could so carelessly break her heart…without ever…ever realizing how much it hurt…God! She couldn't help it, she felt her throat ache…she had to cry…and so she did…yet the pain was adamant…it just wouldn't go…so she cried some more...

He paced the room, swearing…cursing…at himself…but he was angry, frustrated…he couldn't help being angry at her…he ran his fingers through his hair, "God! Zenny…Zenny…." he said, his voice croaking into the silence…his frustration increasing as he said her name…his anger increasing….his desperation increasing….his desperation…to hold her, and tell her how scared he had been when he hadn't found her home…tell her how betrayed, he had felt hearing the news of their baby from his brother rather than her…and then hearing her ever so cheerful voice, telling him about 'her dresses'…as if he cared…how he had yearned to hear her talk about their baby…but she had forgotten to tell him the thing he most wanted to hear, the thing that she had shared with everyone in her family except him….and she had talked about some dress, that her sister had chosen for her…her sister…not him, she hadn't bothered to wait for him to choose what he liked for her…just like she always did… 'no' he said aloud, stopping his thoughts…it wasn't all this…it was perhaps this forlorn feeling, he was having…his heart felt constricted…dejected…rejected by her….it was perhaps the first time, that she had forgotten him....simply forgotten him….just like that…forgotten him…

And as he slept that night, forgetting everything…he didn't care, if he had ruined her sleep…or her happiness…he didn't care…he was Zeeshan Khan…who never lost…not even to Zeenat Khan….

CHAPTER 18

Zeenat took the pizza out of the oven…and smiled at her Zaara, who was now clapping… "Yes its finally done" she said, while Zaara tilted her head, confused…trying to understand what her mom had said to her. She carried Zaara from her seat, and into the living room, where she sat on the rug, resting her head on the sofa….with Zaara in her lap…caressing her soft hair, which were now quiet thick…she wanted her daughters hair to be perfect, and they were….she smiled briefly….loosening her own hair and put aside her shawl, but Zaara was quick to hold it in her mouth. She let her have the shawl…looking at the time she sighed…he was still not home, he was usually home by this time…he was running late perhaps….

She closed her eyes for a while…just for a while, because she was tired….she could feel Zaara occasionally hugging her, or her little fingers pitter patting across her face…she smiled saying "Zaara, I'll fall asleep if you keep this up…",

And as she shut her eyes, her thoughts lingered back to the day she had returned from her parent's house…despite their insistence, that she stay more…she had refused, she knew that returning home was important, she had matters to sort out with Zeeshan…and fast….she had had enough of not talking to him, she had an unsettling feeling about this whole thing…Zeeshan angry at her was never a good sign…she knew she had to amend this….

She remembered how she had seen that he was replying to her in mumbles…he was a big baby she had decided, or a very arrogant man at that…but she knew she had to talk to him…she had resolved…so that night she had cornered him, she could still feel him as she had embraced him, whispering "Zee, we're having another baby" , "I know I heard" he had replied …she had immediately understood the reason for his anger, so she said "Zee, I was going to tell you, it just slipped my mind…is that why you were mad? I'm sorry I didn't mean to not tell you…its just…I ", she sighed "I should have called you as soon as I knew about it I know…I'm sorry", he had sighed then, and turned taking her in his embrace, kissing her hair…letting her know that he wasn't angry…she remembered feeling a little angry, because he hadn't cared to apologize to her, but she suppressed the feeling, shutting her eyes tightly as he had kissed her forehead…knowing well enough that he would never apologize…not for the way he had slammed the phone on her…not for the way he had made her cry all night…heck! He probably didn't even realize that she had had a sleepless night…it was perhaps the anger that was silently bubbling through her that made her answer rudely to him…when he said "Zenny, don't you think it's too soon?" , she had broken away from him, at which he looked at her confused, and then she heard herself say "You know what Zee…just express yourself truthfully for once! If you're not happy…or you can't handle the responsibility then its ok…relax…" she remembered her bitter laugh "you don't have to always be the arrogant perfectionist that you are you know…" she wanted to say much more but when she looked up to him, she had seen hurt in his light eyes that looked back into her dark ones, trying to understand her…for once…but he couldn't understand, and the moment had ended….just like that, his hurt eyes, had looked away from her own…and he had walked out…not slamming the door…but shutting it silently….she realized she had really hurt him…and to this day, those eyes…his eyes…had haunted her…she wanted to bring back what she had said, she had wanted to apologize, but how could she? She had been so bitter to him…why? She still didn't know…maybe it was the fact that she was angry at him…maybe it was annoying to her that everyone was asking her that it was too soon…she wasn't sure…maybe she was out of her mind…maybe she was entitled to letting out her anger once in a while too…maybe she had had enough of apologizing…maybe she had wanted him to say 'I love you' and kiss her…maybe he had fallen short of her expectations…

She had wanted to apologize still…but to her surprise he had started talking to her…just not like the way he used to...yes, they still talked, smiled, the usual….but there was a difference, something lacked, neither knew what had happened since that day…but something was amiss….something was lost….something that words couldn't describe, but could be felt…they could feel it, in those brief moments when their eyes met, they could feel their hearts weigh down…hurting them….and she more than anything could feel it at night, in the silence of the night…when his breath had evened out, when his back was turned away from her, she could feel how much she had hurt him…and no amount of tears could bring back the time…could bring back her words….

She woke up with a start when she felt Zeeshan's hand brushing on her cheeks, and his face smiling at her, she smiled back, a sad smile….it was moments after when she was serving dinner that she realized that he had wiped her tears…sitting on the dinner table she found herself fumbling for words, she didn't know what to talk to him, and it hurt her…once she couldn't have stopped talking to him…but now she didn't know what to say, perhaps because whenever she looked at him, those eyes…his hurt eyes…flashed before her…and she didn't know how to face him anymore…but still she tried, by saying "Zee, let me know what clothes you're wearing tomorrow, so I can press them for you", tomorrow was the engagement… "Zenny, it's ok, I'll press them…I always press mine" he paused smiling "give me yours too", "Ok…" she said and walked up to the sink, perhaps because she wanted to hide her tears…he had called her Zenny….Zenny…after so long, perhaps he didn't know….but she knew how much it had pleased her when he had taken her name so….almost with a tenderness to her name Zenny…it had been so long…and she felt that familiar lump in her throat…but she shut her eyes, to stop the tears which were about to tear away from her….when she looked back she found Zeeshan carrying Zaara and taking her upstairs…when she was sure, he had left…she let her tears flow…

She found Zeeshan was already asleep…like every day….she ached for his tender touch…ached for his love....ached for his passion…but she sighed as she slipped into bed, not turning her back towards him like he had…but turning towards him…wishing like every night that he would turn towards her to find her waiting for him…and he did, because every morning she had found herself in his embrace, she wondered who had taken the first step…was it she who had slipped on his side of the bed…or did he draw her to his side? She couldn't help but wish the latter…

There was something about finding herself in his arms that consoled her…however unhappy she was…she somehow knew that he was still there for her…with all his heart…

He woke up before her…but he didn't slide out of the bed before her, like he used to…no…he couldn't, he wanted her to know that she was indeed in his arms…he wished she would know that he had taken her in his embrace every night willingly…or perhaps it was the fact that he wanted to feel her near him…so close to him….for a little longer…and as he looked at her, he felt the urge to love her grow in him…but he couldn't not after what she thought of him… 'Arrogant perfectionist' was that what she thought about him? It would be false to say that this was what had hurt him….because what hurt him more was that she didn't understand that he was concerned about her…he had seen the pain she had been through, during Zaara….he hated to see her so, and the fact that she was pregnant again, just meant that she would be go through it all again…and within such a short period….it was amazing….the fact that what she had said had hurt him, yet he wasn't angry, because deep down he felt he had wronged her somehow, misunderstood her along the way…perhaps overlooked her feelings…her side of the story….he sighed looking at her, and kissed her forehead….caressing her cheek….he wanted her to smile, he wanted her to be the way she was before…but these days, she wasn't talking….wasn't she the one who had once asked him to never be silent, always let out…talk to her…and yet, she had been awfully silent since that day….he wasn't sure what was going through her mind…but one thing was certain, she was unhappy…and even as she was sleeping he could see the sadness spread on her face…he could feel her fingers curled on his chest, trying to hold him close…he couldn't stand seeing her so….but what could he say to make her feel better? Perhaps he should have asked her the reason for her outburst, instead of staying silent…because the thing about silence is, it silently….unknowingly…becomes a barrier…

He felt her eyes stirring…she was about to wake up, so he closed his own….

When she woke she found his face close to hers…she smiled he was still sleeping…she brushed off that irritant lock from his face and pulled herself up to his face, kissing his cheeks…her lips lingering on his warm face for much longer…it was the first time, she had actually kissed him and not just fantasized…she had finally given in to that nagging urge…to feel his warm skin on her lips….and today she couldn't hold herself any longer….when she saw his eyes stir, she felt herself wishing he had not felt it…she cursed him for his grip, because it was always so hard getting out of his embrace…but she managed like everyday, she wondered what had happened to his waking up before her…these days he slept like a log…even when she would pry his fingers apart from her waist, he wouldn't budge...God!

He smiled, touching his cheek…she had kissed him, this was definitely new, he thought running his long fingers through his messy hair…setting them back to the way they were…

Zeenat gave Zaara a bath…and took a shower herself….as always Zeeshan had showered way before, infact he was putting the final touches on his gelled hair…God! And she had to dress Zaara up and herself…She placed Zaara on the bed, and was rummaging through the clothes, sighing as she did so, because her hair, they were wet…she had to dry them soon or else they would be a mess, and Zeeshan! God he wasn't helping…despite herself she felt angry at him, for not lending a helping hand…he was busy concentrating on that stubborn button wondering whether he should leave it open…or not…personally she liked it better open…

"What? Does it not look good open?" he asked, "Huh? No, no….I...umm…it does look good…" She stammered, because she realized she must have been staring at him…she looked away frowning busying herself with Zaara…she was supposed to be dressed by now, but she was stuck with this, and then she had to clear up the mess he had created with all the clothes lying around…she felt her frustration rising, and as she was unbuttoning the frock, the buttons wouldn't open, it kept slipping from her fingers, "Uff!" she said out loud, "Here, I'll dress her up, you can go change…" , "No, its ok, I can manage" she said not looking at him, and the stubborn button was still not opening…while Zaara was in her own world staring at her mother, wondering why it was so important to open the button…her large eyes, blinking at her frustrated mother…and her dad, who was now tugging at that frock, she clapped because he had finally managed to snatch it from her mother… "I'll do it Zenny" he said with a note of anger and finality... "We don't have much time, I think you should start getting dressed, otherwise we're gonna be late" he said…God! He was sooo annoying…and as she turned, her head was mimicking him "We don't have much time…blah blah", as if she was the one who was at fault, he hadn't helped her at all!…and now she was apparently the one responsible for making them late…God she felt like punching him…but all such thoughts vanished, when she felt his warm hands on her wrist, caressing them, he didn't make an effort to turn her, but his voice was gentle, and soft as every when he said "Zenny…relax"…her heart sighed…a sigh of relief, because she realized she loved him for this and so much more…how he managed to know what she was feeling was beyond her…

It was a brief moment and then he had left her hand…but unknown to him, she savoured that touch…it told her that things were going to be back to the way before…soon…she wondered if he had indeed held her hand to tell her that everything was fine between them…because she knew him well….Zeeshan wasn't spontaneous…everything he did was well thought out…everything he did had a reason, everything….she wanted him to tell her, that everything was fine between them, that he forgave her….that this barrier between them was finally gone…but that seemed quiet unlikely….atleast now….

He glanced occasionally at the mirror, as he sat tying his shoes…she had chosen the gold sari…he personally like the pink…but she hadn't bothered to ask him….it didn't matter though, she looked just as well in the gold…he wanted to ask her to leave her hair open, but she was tying them….he wanted to ask her why she hadn't put henna…he wanted to ask her to wear those red bangles, and not the gold bangles….what was it with girls and 'gold bangles' after marriage, even if he did ask her to change the bangles she would argue with him….he wanted to say so much…but he stayed silent…

She was angry at him, because he was staring at her, with almost a frown on that handsome face of his…wasn't she looking good? Couldn't he just say something…it had been so long since she had dressed up…it had been so long since he had flirted with her….it had been so long since he had complimented her beauty….god! it had been long…hadn't it….but she stayed silent…while her heart fumed at his inconsiderate stare…she felt like crying…because he didn't have the courtesy to say anything to her…his wife…but she repressed the tears, angry at herself, for crying at the most childish of things…but it wasn't childish! How could he just sit there…looking all handsome, God! He was looking amazing in that crimson shirt, with just a little sheen to it, with those dark pants, that made him even more….desirable..…his well-built frame obvious even through the loose dress shirt…while he made her feel like…she wasn't good enough…

"I'm gonna start the car, I'll take Zaara….you can come down whenever you're ready" he said and left, chuckling silently, he knew this would tick her off…but it was worth it, because as soon as he said this, she followed him fuming, and said "I'm ready Zee…" with arrogance in her eyes, how dare he taunt her, if anyone took time dressing up it was him!….He looked into her dark eyes…and said "you forgot one thing…", "What…" she said uncertainly…she wished he would kiss her…but he didn't, he wouldn't she knew it…even as she thought about it… "Kaajal" he said… "Oh, umm…I didn't forget I don't feel like putting it" she said truthfully, "Just do it" he said and left…God! What did he think of himself, he couldn't just order her what to do…he couldn't…and then as she was leaving she had one last look at herself …her eyes…they looked pale…plain…sad…and so she picked up the pencil and applied the kaajal…

She sat in the car, hoping he wouldn't notice the kaajal…because she didn't want him to think that she had put it because of him…because she hadn't….she had put it because she looked plain…yeah…because she looked plain…it had nothing to do with him… "Good…" he said, "What?" she asked, "No, I'm just saying I'm glad you made it on time…" she didn't bother answering him…although he was testing her patience…seriously….

When they reached the venue, Zeenat handed the responsibility of carrying Zaara to Zeeshan…it was an unspoken agreement between them….

Almost everyone had reached at the banquet hall…Vasim and Kanwal were looking just the way they should….him in his black tuxedo, beige shirt…and Kanwal in her gold sharara…they were both giggling as usual… "You look amazing" Vasim said to Zeenat, as she approached him, "Thanks, atleast someone thinks so" she said… "And you Kanwal look gorgeous, the gold really suits you" Zeeshan said ignoring Zeenat… "Thanks Zeeshan bhai…I know I look good…" she winked and continued "everyone's commenting on the colour, you should've seen Mom, she is finding it hard to agree with everyone…" Kanwal giggled. Zeenat almost screamed when she felt, someone whisper into her ear, "You're looking beautiful" it was Imaan and she was giggling, when Zeenat said "You scared me! God….you're not looking too bad yourself…", "Yeah, I know I'm looking amazing…" she bowed as she said this, while Zeenat shook her head, her sister was weird, "Ayan has been staring at me…" she continued chuckling, Zeenat smiled…she couldn't help but want Zeeshan to compliment her…atleast once…but he was a stubborn fool…

Ayan soon joined them…his hands were aching as he carried Zaki and so he let him toddle off… "Ayan, where's Zaki!" Imaan said almost screaming, "He's around…" he said casually, "What?! You just left him…God! I can't believe you…" , "Relax, he's not going anywhere…he's around mom and dad…anyway if you're so concerned, why don't you try holding him for an hour, God! My arms are aching…" Ayan said frowning….when he saw Zeenat chuckling he said, "Seriously, he's one fat kid…I tell Imaan to control his diet…but who listens to me", "Shut up Ayan…I'm gonna go look for him, because apparently you don't care where he is…" Imaan said, "Ok, sure you can go look for him, but I'm sure he's safe with Mom". As Zeenat and Imaan went looking for him, Zeenat heard Ayan bhai say "So, Zaara is under your care…", "Yeah, yeah…." Zeeshan sighed and said "A husband's gotta do what a husband's gotta do", when she heard Zeeshan say so, she turned around…to her amusement, Zeeshan winked at her….she smiled for the first time, that night, and said "Jerk…it's your job…to take care of your kid…" and left after Imaan….not before, she heard Kanwal saying "She's right!", and Vasim saying "Uh oh! Zeeshan, you better prepare yourself for a spanking when you get home…" Zeeshan merely smiled, running his hands through his hair….unknown to her…his eyes were on her as she disappeared into the crowd…

As she meandered through the crowd, she grew tensed, she couldn't find Zaki, or Imaan…she had asked her parents but they had said Zaki had gone after Ayan…she searched the entire hall, and then it struck her, she was probably in the washroom. She walked upto the washroom, which was in an usually secluded corner…praying silently that they would be there, because frankly she didn't know where else to look for them... 'Zee would never be so irresponsible with Zaara' she muttered, as she made her way through the dimly lit corridor into the washroom…there were a couple of ladies in the washroom, touching up their makeup…adjusting their dupatta's…she gave a tight smile to all, and asked if they had seen Imaan around… "We just came in here, although, the women in that cubicle, is taking awfully long" one of them whispered to her….she said "thanks…" she said, even though they hadn't been of much help….when they left she sighed, a sigh of relief…she noticed the door of that cubicle was ajar…she made her way slowly towards it...wondering if there was still someone behind that door…or had that person left, and as she walked up to the door, she recalled that no one except the ladies had left, there was someone still behind that door…perhaps…and she knocked on the door to make sure that she wasn't intruding, when there was no response she pushed the door open and heard "Boo!", she chuckled despite the fact that her heart was violently thudding, "Imaan di! You're seriously so immature, do you even know how worried I've been looking for you and Zaki", "I was waiting until every one left, silently for you" Imaan chuckled and continued "It's all worth it trust me, that look on your face....and by the way there was nothing to worry about, no one would dare kidnap me or my Zaki…" she chuckled, "Whatever, unlike you it's normal to get tensed, when you can't find someone for a half hour!", "You know Zaki's poo takes long to clean up…plus it took me long to find him, he was nowhere near mom or dad, remind me to kill Ayan…." She paused, and to Zeenat's utter astonishment, she started chuckling again, holding her stomach as she said "Man! I can't get your face out of my head…God! Its been long since I scared you, and laughed like this, my stomach hurts!", "Whatever....I'm glad I could amuse you…" Zeenat said bitterly and left, she didn't get why it was so funny…while Imaan smiled, knowing well enough that like always, she had managed to embarrass and scare Zeenat…she just didn't know what fun it was to scare people…and as she put the final touches on Zaki's diaper she told him, "Promise me Zaki, that you will scare your aunty just like me, when you grow up" , "I plomise mommy" Zaki said obediently...

God! Her sister was the height of immaturity…she was frowning even as she joined everyone in the feast….from a distance she could see, Zeeshan smiling heartily as he looked at her…and ofcourse, the reason was obvious, he was standing right near Imaan who was giggling as well as she looked at her…so they were talking about her… "Fine, I'm a scaredy cat…laugh all you want…" she muttered, "Did you say something Beta" her mom asked, "No, nothing Mummy…" she said, and when she was done filling her plate with everything she liked, she went to sit beside them all, everyone turned quiet, obviously because they had been talking about her…she liked their silence, better than their laughter….but she was given this privilege only for a brief moment…because to her utter horror, everyone…Vasim, Kanwal, Ayan bhai, Imaan and yes, Zeeshan were laughing…. "Zeenat, relax, you don't have to look so harassed…everyone gets scared once in a while" Imaan said…winking at her…God! she felt herself going red, not because she was angry, but because she had been the subject of their conversation for so long....apparently they had been laughing at her, because she was looking so mad…she didn't know what to say, her anger had ofcourse died long back, giving way to embarrassment…

She simply smiled…her dimpled smile…to cover up how very shy she was feeling….because she wasn't sure what to say, she felt embarrassed, stupid, shy for being the center of attention and ofcourse she felt like laughing at herself….but she couldn't do that so instead she smiled…

The engagement ceremony ended later that night…and everyone retired to their homes…some exhausted, some excited, some unsure…

While Ayan and Imaan had to sleep early, because Zaki had an appointment at the pre-school, Kanwal and Vasim slept wishing that January would come soon…January the month of their marriage… trying to sleep, hoping to dream about each other….whereas, Zeeshan and Zeenat stepped into the house, knowing well enough that tonight had been refreshing…every word, every look, every smile they had shared today…had silently thawed the icy barrier between them…

As Zeeshan placed a sleeping Zaara into her crib, he ached to be with Zeenat tonight…he felt her arms behind him, her face resting on his back....she was crying softly…God! why was she crying? "I'm so sorry Zee…I know that you don't want me to apologize, but I know that I have hurt you…and if I don't apologize today, my conscience won't be clear…I'm so sorry for what I said…don't ask me why I said what I did…because I don't know why…I was just angry…" she said still crying…he turned her around, holding her face, and wiping her tears…. "You know what has hurt me more, your silence around me….Zenny…I have forgotten and forgiven everything you said, you think I would let something like that ruin our relationship?, but you know me better than anyone…how could you not know that I was waiting for you to talk to me…not apologize…just talk like the way you always do…" he paused, she was still crying, so he kissed her forehead, when that didn't help either he said "Zenny, stop crying…stop it! God! Why do you have to cry all the time…?" she stopped at that…and looked upto him, he could see she was angry at his words, because her eyes…her eyes were frowning at him…and without a warning…she kissed him…he felt himself, loose his balance…ending up leaning on the wall…it was gentle…brief…unsatisfying for Zeeshan….and then she pulled back, amazed at her own forwardness....

She turned abruptly, because his stare and that smile that was finally creeping on his face….made her realize that he wasn't expecting this…God! she felt herself blush…and she didn't want him to see this…because she was embarrassed at herself…God! why did she have to be so spontaneous…she reminded herself to think before acting…

She felt his warm hands encircle hers…and what he whispered in that gentle, yet capturing voice of his only made her heart swell with anticipation of what was to come… "Love, I love your spontaneity, but I'd like to respond longer…" and as he said this, she felt herself turn to him…ready to give him all that she had…ready to demand what was due to her…

He kissed those familiar dimples on her unusually warm cheeks…and then caressed her cheeks that were turning red as the moments passed… when he simply stared at her, she looked into those light eyes, which reflected her…and her only…and she knew what he was waiting for, God! she loved him for this…he was waiting for a cue, for her permission…it killed her how gentle…patient…respectful he could be, even when he knew that she wanted this as much as him….and with these thoughts she kissed his heart, and whispered, "Zee, I love you for this and so much more", his only response to her words, was the desire she saw in his eyes…he didn't respond because he didn't need to…she knew what he felt for her…and if she didn't she would soon…he would make sure of that…

i realize there are mistakes, coz i didnt have much time to go through it..., plz. ignore them....personally, i'm not very satisfied with this part...but its ur view tht counts so let me know how you felt it was.....i really wanna wrap up this fic in the next two parts...just 20 parts....no more its much longer than i had anticipated.....

neways tc =)

😳a.i.c