MaNan OS: In your SOUL

"No Way I am late again shit...yaar aaj toh pakka marna hai" and I quickly rushed to my office parking for my car then directly headed to my destination where my LIFE IS.

I buied roses on my way as these will reduce HER anger. I know she pretend to be angry with me but even that anger kills me but roses always work to reduce her anger

Everyone say TIME AND SITUATION CHANGES YOU. Nahhh!!! I don't believe in this. It's completely on you how you want to handle a situation. Sometimes it becomes worst that you just want to give up and end up everything then suddenly you will get the little RAY.

RAY of HOPE

RAY of FAITH

RAY of BELIEVE

And with that ray you will start adjusting and start finding happiness and soon the pain you suffered does not matter

"NANDINI" she was my key to happiness. Or I can say

MY HAPPINESS

MY RAY

MY SOUL

MY BETTER HALF

I parked my car and carried HER ROSES. Sometimes I feel like she loves her ROSES more than ME

I ran my hands in my hair and headed towards her I know she was waiting for me from long time but stupid meetings I just hate them they just get prepone or postpone

I sighed loudly I know this time sorry and roses are not enough

She felt my presence. Without wasting time I hugged her

"I am so so so sorry. I know sorry is not enough this time I am just f..four hours late" and I hugged tightly and I can feel her anger

"No worries just four hours whats the big deal who said I am angry I am not angry see I am smiling" and she showed her fake smile

"Aap toh kaam karthe ho. You have company to look after. Me I am free all the time and my time is all yours " I can sense her frustration in her voice

"You know this is not new and where is your apology gift" and she searched for roses

"There they are" she took them in her hands.

" This is happening from TEN YEARS. You know I am used to it. To wait for MR.CEO" and she rolled her eyes

"Common nandini you know everything right office work and all and waise b aaj ki meeting was with dad but as usual at home-" she cut me off before I can complete

"Tablets nai li and faint ho gaye. Seriously you know sometimes malhotras act like a kid...nooo...Kids are better these days but you guys...never mind" she said

"Hawww so bad nandini dad k bare mein aise bol rahi ho. Wait jab mein ghar jaunga na I will say him" I threated her

"Ya!! Boliyega zaroor shayad ussi bahane milne toh aa jaye...errrghhh!! Chodiye yeh sab. So how was your meeting. And woh deal kya hua jo aap do hafto se kaam kar re the. You cracked it don't you??" She raised her eyebrow

"How do you " I questioned her. I didn't mentioned about that so how can she knew it

"Bhool gaye I live in YOU. So obviously I will get to know" and she smiled

"Ya" and I started caressing her cheek and was looking at her

"Kya dekh rahe hai aap mein waisi hi hoon do kaan do aankh do hout aur ek naak aap k dekhne se koi changes nai aane wale " she curled her hands around my neck

"Bus dekh raha hoon taki tumhara cehra theek se yaad ho jaye"

"Acha ji so 15 saal se dekh rahe ho aap abhi tak yaad nai hua" and she ran her hand in my hair

I just kept looking her and she was seeing me. I placed my head in her lap and closed my eyes and she was playing with my hairs

I don't for how much time we sat like that because when I am with her time just flies

"Chaliye ab jane ka time aa gaya" I opened my eyes to see her their was sweet smile on her lips like always. I hugged her waist tightly and I nodded my head in NO

"No. You can't go. Your not going. I am done now I can't stay without you anymore. No your not leaving me you always leave me. No not today. Aaj tumhari nai chalni wali nandini " and I hugged her waist tightly .I heard her chuckle

"And aap roz bolthe ho k aap jaldi aao gaye par nai aap kabi meri baat nai mane"

"Yeh do completely alag hai you can't compare my being late with you leaving. That's it your not leaving me "

"Aap roz isse ithna difficult kyun bana the ho hum roz milthe hai na. You come to meet right and raat may mein aaugi na aap se milne and I am not late like you and again kal hum phir milenge na. So stop this get up I need to go now" she made me sit

"Agar jana hi tha toh meri zindagi mein aayi hi kyun thi. Agar promises thodna hi tha toh promise kiya kyun humesha saath rehne ka. Bus baate bana na aata hai tumhe nandini aur kuch nai. You just can't stick by your words" by hearing this she stood in her place then slowly she turned towards me there was a smile on her face

She came near me and she took my hand and made me sit on a bench and she sat on my lap she cupped my face

"Mein aap k life mein lai gai thi by your parents and I am so thankful to them for giving me you. I came in your life to make you a best person. I know I was no one to you to make you a better person but our marriage proposal was arranged which we accepted happily"

She started caressing my cheek "aapko pata hai aapki shaadi kyun hui taki aap zimedari lena sik jao taki aap office ja kar sab sambalo. Shaadi se phele you lived your bachelor life completely but at some point of time we have to get serious about life then you changed from there. Aapko pata hai aapke saat saat mein b change hui as a person aap ki achai automatically made me to fall for you"

"Without you I was leaving my life at least but god had amazing plans for me he bought you in my life and then sab change hua mein change hua for good you made me what I am today. It was you who pushed me to go office daily. Five years paanch saal kaha chale gaye tumhare saath pata hi nai chalne diya" I don't know when I started crying she was cleaning my tears

"Hum khush hote hu..humari choti si fa..family hoti. Tumhare bagyer kuch b nai kar pa raha tha sabko aadat dal di thi apni. You know dad and mom kyun nai aate milne because they still believe your there with them and they want to die with that believe. Dad apni health ka dyan hi nai rakhre he says jab unki beti unhe chod kar chali gai toh ab ji kar kya faida. Bus chal rahi zindagi humlog ki zinda lasho ki tara. Why did you leave me why did you leave us. Bahoth yaad aati ho yaar har choti baato mein lag ta hi nahi k tum nahi ho" I started sobbing

"Ssshhh!!! Calm down. Rona band kariye aap I never left you aur kabhi chodungi b nai agar jana hota toh dus saal phele chale jati par nai gai aap jane hi nai diye so kaise jati. Kaha tha aapko to move on but aap ne nai suno ulta zabardasti aur kharib kar liya mujhe taki mein jana pau. Mein b chati thi humare family ho aur bach... par sab cheeze humare control mein nahi hoti you have to accept the changes and situation phir dekhiye sab kithna asan hoga. Mushkil tha mere liye b yeh sab bohth Mushkil tha aap ko chonda. Par mere bus mein kuch nahi hai aap ko pata hai na. Agar aisa ho sakta tha toh mein phele apne bacho ko bacha ti jo isse dunia mein aaye hi nahi. Humare bache the woh. They were our blood. Remember we were so happy to know I wss preg... But sab aap k chane se nahi hota. You have to sacrifice your beloved things"

"What I got by sacrificing. Bolo. Kya mila. Sepration. It's just that I need YOU. Come back please" and I hugged her

"Mein aap k saath humesha hun. You know right I am IN YOUR SOUL. Woh paanch saal humare zindagi k sab se khubsurath saal the. Ab dus saal ho gaye uss hadse ko phir b aap mujhe jane nai diye na so how can you think I will leave you now. Mein aapko kabi b akela nai chodungi kabi nahi. Yakin na hona na mein sabit karungi aapko phir se jaise roz kar ti hun. Whenever you will remember me close your eyes take my name before you open your eyes their will be ROSES near you. Samjana k meine rakhe hai. Okay. I will be with you like a shadow. You're shadow will leave you in darkness but I won't because I LIVE IN YOU. You have to care about yourself. You have to be strong for everyone for ME." And she kissed my forehead

I came out of slumber when someone shook me

"Phir se so gaye beta. Koi baat nai ab isse band karne ka waqt aa gaya hai tum jar rahe ho na...yeh gulab lelo tumhare liye"I took roses from him then keeper left the place

I rubbed my eyes and looked around I was in cemetery In fornt of her

I ran my hand on stone then I closed my eyes you left me again but raat mein jab tum aao gi dekhna pachtao gi

Pyar kar tha hoon tum se nandini dil se as you say you live in my soul so yeh maut aur ek accident hume kya alag kare ga hai na...

Dus saal ho gaye accident ko phir b kuch nai badla agar woh accident na hota toh huma..hhumare...bache..hote twins the na woh nandini

Sab ek jhatke mein khatam kardiya god ne bacho ko b le liye aur tum he b le liye jab ki hum sabko tumhari adat ho gai thi

Phir b I am glad that at least you come in my dreams. Aur tum theek se ho dekhne k liye yaha aata hun roz aur as usual aake soja ta hun. Kaise nai aati tum mere dreams mein aana hi pada tumhe as I AM YOUR SOUL AND YOU LIVE IN MY SOUL.

As you said I sacrificed you and my children but I don't know for what I sacrificed you.

You know nandini you came in my world to change me. To make me better than before. Everyone said to MOVE ON but they don't know it's impossible to move on from YOUR SOUL.

I always wanted you, our children my family but god had different plans. Why he did this to me nandini. You never answer me why god did this to me.

I believe that the person you love should be there beside you. It doesn't matter whether they are alive or not. If it's true love then nobody can separate you not even death.

NANDINI MY SOUL...And I left cemetery with our memories.

So do comment what you felt. I cried a lot while writing this so please I request you to comment your view. And silent readers please do share your views.

Will be waiting for your comments :)

Stay blessed

Stay tuned

Will update sweet betrayal soon :)

I am sorry to make you cry but it was der fate!!!

& emotional too...

Ithne hot rated punishment I can't take it babe and I am so aorry to make u cry but even I croed while writing this coz its so difficult to sirvive but its life...