MaNan SS||*New Life with Shrink*||Chap 14:pg 85(22-04) - Page 54

Nice promo. ..

nice promo dear...

Update. Bechari Nandu asylum mein hai? Lets go there

Chapter 11

Mood meter

Certain incurable wounds are mostly either on brain or on heart. Wounds are of many types. Wounds leave a deep impact on you. It stays with you for a lifelong. How much we try to forget, it just doesn't leave our mind!! To add to our misery, it haunts us every now and then whenever it is mentioned. Physical wounds atleast get healed with time. But mental wounds become your life companion.

Similar is the case here, nandini has asked me to describe the most incurable wound on my heart. The wound that took everything from me! And left me only with tears! But the situation on nandini's side also demands for concern. I should also think of nandini's condition before discussing those dreadful incidents. I am so sorry nandini. I cant tell you anything right now. You are very weak to hear it.

"Nandu I think you should sleep now" Best option! Ignore the question'. I hope she doesn't come up with something that I am again unable to answer.

"Manik where is RICHA??" Name itself brought both tears and a small smile on my lips. Now this is answerable.

RICHA - My elder sister She was older to me by nearly 7 years

"She is no more" I took a pause giving light to the coming plan and to rearrange the words and present in a form in which it is advantageous for my treatment.

"You know nandu why I am taking so much interest in your case? Being a senior doctor I should have assigned a junior to you, Right?" I paused trying to gauge if what I was saying was registered in her mind. And yes slowly she is cooperating and that is what I want!

"Because you are my friend!" I chuckled. She herself wasn't sure with the answer she gave me.

"When she was about 22, she committed suicide by jumping into the well which was in our backyard. On the face of it, she was well adjusted and happy. Yet there must have been things inside her mind which troubled her. Her death devastated me and mom and left us in a stage of shock for the rest of our lives. We had no answers. She was a very bright student and not involved with any guy romantically as that is usually a leading cause of suicide, especially in people in that age group. Her death left a void in me which drove me to study psychiatry and I have made it my life's mission to help people who attempt suicide." I said, my voice taking on a gentler tone.

Probably, She did not know what to say.

"I'm sorry to hear that Manik," She said finally.

"Oh no, no. Please don't be. It has only made me stronger and determined about my carrier. Today I am a leading doctor. I have made my life. I want you to think on it. I am personally involved in this case because I don't want to you to end up the same way richa did! Now that I know you are depressed since long, I will take care of you. I want you to fight for your life. Life is a gift, Nandini. We should not throw it away. You have no right to kill others. Then how can you have a right to kill yourself?" I said trying to be logical every now and then just to late her sink in everything.

She kept looking at me as if finding words to say something but her vocabulary seems blank.

"I want you to promise me not to hurt yourself. Your life is connected to so many people. Your family! Your Relatives! Your friends! And ..!!" I wanted to say me but no I cant sat I am her just friend that's it! "Wont they get affected if you hurt yourself? It will hurt them too to see you hurt am I right? Or I am right?" I guess too much for the day. I should let her rest.

"I promise!" I declare myself the happiest person on the world. Now I am relaxed.

"Nandini, this is mood meter. Everyday in the evening either me or any junior doctor wouls come to note this down" I said showing her the sheet of mood meter. It had 3 category : 0 for feeling depressed, 5 for feeling OK and 10 for irritated.

I gave her to tick for today and she ticked depressed. I didn't expected much as it is just the starting for her. I want her to take her own time and recover completely.

With this I handed her a tablet and tugged her on bed. I took a last glance of her face and found her already looking at me. I smiled and left the room.

Nandini's POV

To say that staying in the private room all by myself was tough would be like saying that it is hard to climb Mount Everest without capabilities of extreme levels of physical endurance. But unlike a person climbing the Everest, I had no choice in the matter at all.

The windows had strong iron grills like the cages in a zoo, probably to prevent any attempts of jumping out. There was nothing in the room with which one could hurt oneself. There was not even a table. The room just had a bed and no other piece of furniture.

The emptiness of the room, in a strange way, seemed to suit the emptiness of my mind. I found the atmosphere a safe shell to which I could escape. I did not have my parents hovering over me urging me to take medication. I did not have the pressure to go back to college. I did not feel compelled to read. I did not have to do anything. My time was my own. I never expected this and was surprised to find that I had found a cocoon I could go into in and insulate myself against the harsh realities of my life. In a strange way, I was soothed.

The worst that could happen had already happened. There was nothing that could

harm me anymore. The suicidal thoughts seemed like a bad nightmare now.

In the morning it was the junior doctors who came. I did not talk to any of them. When they came in, I just chose to look out of the window and be silent. I did not want to talk to them or answer any questions they asked. In the evenings it was the senior doctors who came. I looked forward to these visits as Manik would come.

Manik was not only kind and understanding but intuitive too. It was almost as if he could read my mind and he knew exactly what to say to calm me down. They were mostly reassuring words of hope and inspiration. He kept me alive many times over. He talked to me like I mattered. He truly cared and that made all the difference. It is indeed amazing how words and kindness have the power to heal, perhaps much more than medicines.

I now had all the time in the world, to reflect on the things that I had done which had made me end up here. Manik kept reassuring me that it was not my fault' or my mistake'. He said that just as people sometimes have no control over physical ailments, they have no control over mental illness.

He would always leave my room for the end, when he came on his rounds. I realized this was a pattern on the second day itself. After the preliminary talk enquiring about how I was, was over, he would dismiss the nurses and junior doctors who accompanied him. He would then ask if I minded that we have a chat. I did not mind at all. It was a welcome distraction in a room where there was nothing to do anyway. We were developing a bond which extended beyond the usual one between the doctor and the patient. I did not care. It was the last straw of hope that he was offering and I was clutching it as tightly as I could

Now it has been three days. I am here in the hospital. I would be lying if I say I am not liking it. It is the evening in here and I am waiting for manik to come. He is late today. I was a bit irritated to not see him. but I have to understand he is a doctor and must be stuck with some patient.

"Hey nandu" I cheerful voice brought me back from my thoughts. And it is needless to say it brought a genuine smile on my face.

"So, how are you feeling today" His face showing all the concern for me and I don't think I can be enough grateful to this man.

"Good" I still don't like talking much. I use only one word, maximum three that's it!

"Nandini, today lets talk about your life" He said and I shivered. I don't want to go back to MBA

"I don't have a life. I dropped out of MBA and admitted here. I am nothing" I sadly poured what was itching in my heart since long. Who would believe if I say I used to be the secretary of Arts Association in my college in cochin.

"No its not that. I want you to think about your Life. Nothing is lost just because you dropped out of MBA. It is not the be-all and end-all of life. You can still do other things in life, Nandini" he said.

That was the first time such an option had struck me. Till now, my parents had pinned their hopes on my going back to complete my course. I knew that I did not want to go back. The question of alternatives had not even occurred to me since I had been so disturbed. Now Manik had given me something to think about. It was a seed that he had sown and it had taken firm root. For the first time in many months, I thought about the future and what other things I could do if I did not complete my MBA. It was the first time in months that a faint fluttering of hope had begun stirring in me. It was a small ray of sunlight which was peeping in enticingly through a slight crack in the door which had caught me in its tight grip. I was ready to move towards it.

"Think about it and tell me tomorrow okay. We don't want to hurry in any matter okay. And remember I will always be there with you okay?" though I knew now I trusted him enough to believe in what he said right now without a second thought.

"Okay now mood meter checking time" He brought me back from my thoughts.

Today I am feeling different. I am not feeling depressed. I am excited to think on what he said about life. I am looking forward to various options. I can visualize so many gates ready to open just for me on a single knock.

So neither I am feeling depressed nor irritated. So it has to be FEELING OK'. Yes I am feeling ok today. I ticked 5 and handed him back. He saw and gave me a wide smile as if he just won an Oscar.

With that, he did his routine, to make me have the tablet, to tug me in the bed and lastly my favorite passing a smile before leaving my room. He is acting like an angel in my life who will save me from this.

When he came the next day I decided to open up and speak and give voice to my deepest fears.

"Manik, I have been thinking about what you said," I began.

He nodded encouragingly.

"The thing is I seem to have lost my ability to read and comprehend. I do want to study. In fact I so much want to study. But nothing I read is able to stay in my mind. Nothing makes sense anymore doctor. It frightens me when I try to open a book and read. Here, I feel safe. I am content. I am very afraid about what will happen when I get discharged," I said.

"Nandini, you will not be sent to your house directly. You have just taken the first step now. You have just survived one of the most terrifying mental ordeals a human being can face. You are still recouping. At the end of the week, you will be shifted into the Occupational Therapy wing. We have a huge wing which is at the other end of the campus. It is best you be there for at least a month. We will put you on a program that will truly help you and trust me, all this will just seem like a bad dream very soon," He said reassuringly.

"Will you be coming on the rounds there, Manik?" I asked him. That was the only concern which I had at that point of time. Manik was my lifeline and I did not want to stop seeing him.

"Actually different doctors are in charge there. I look after this ward."

My heart sank hearing those words. I could not imagine getting through the day without speaking to him. I think he sensed it too.

"But don't worry, I will tell the doctors over there to take care of you. We have the best team nandini, specially for you" But I want you to treat me fool. I pouted in anger and snatched the regular mood meter from his hand.

I forcefully dragged on 10(irritated) with uncountable frowns on my face. Still I wasn't satisfied so I again ticked just below the previous one. Arrghh!! Why cant I stay here? why cant he come there. I am just asking him to come an meet me once. Huh!

"I want to sleep" I declared as if it was a lokpal bill and only I have the right to pass it.

"Okay fine! Good night!" He said sadly and handed me the tablet.

What!!this is all he has to say!!! Damn you manik. I wont talk to you. Wait let me just recover I will smack your head. Arrrghhh!!.

*************

Okay guys I guess I have compensated by giving long update. I would like to thank ankita di. She actually guided me with the therapy.

This mood meter is a therapy of monitoring your mood. Plz pm me if you have any questions.

And ya sorry for not replying to your comments. As soon as I will be free I will comment for sure.

Lastly, FOCABULARY:

1) Gauge: Estimate or determine the amount, level or volume of.

2) Entice: to lead on by exciting hope or desire; allure; inveigle.

Now your turn to comment!😊

Loved it. Manan moments. I am sure he loves her too.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!
look who is here???? *shocked * :o
I was thinking about filed a missing case...!!!!!
but finally u here...!!!! katti... huhhh
RES!!!!!!

Originally posted by: etuu

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!
look who is here???? *shocked * :o
I was thinking about filed a missing case...!!!!!
but finally u here...!!!! katti... huhhh
RES!!!!!!

hehehe
but katti kyu?

Finally u updated . I was sweet and awesome like always. Good to see Nandu recovering. Aww she was irritated as she have to stay away from him . But I m sure he will not b able to b away from her . He will go to see her for sure. What is maniks past . Hope to find out about it soon. Loved the update and thanks for the pm. Will b waiting for the next update.

Originally posted by: Drashtiii

hehehe
but katti kyu?

meri marji ... -_- patlu tu mera msg ka reply bhi nei kiya... :'( huhhh... & also late update... now I have to read the prev chapter...for catching the on going track... huhhh...

Ohhh poor thing...nandu, my heart goes out to u...