MaNan SS ||Bonded by Love|| Chapter 5 on Page 42 17/5 - Page 4

Originally posted by: urvisaini

Nice concept!

Put me on the pm list

Continue soon

Originally posted by: diyamanan

interesting story

plz try to pm me

when u update

Originally posted by: cleonebby7

Nice and very lovable story please continue and pm me i will surely read and reply... Eagerly waiting for the next update...

Originally posted by: bhaswatee1308

Loved the concept, waiting for the story.

Originally posted by: horizontwilight

this looks damn interesting!
thanks for the pm!
cont soon!

Hellooo..Finally the prologue is up..

I hope you all like it.And well just be pateint okayyy...

And heyyy examsss over😃

Please refrain from copying or plagarism.It is way too impolite.😳

This update is betaed by Kelly.

Prologue

They say the thing that connects us all is love and to an extent this may be true. Whether related by blood or by choice isn't the common factor between us and others love? And if that's true isn't it possible for two people with terrible pasts to come together for the sake of love?

It has been five years I have been here in this orphanage. I was brought here after my parents died; that's what they tell me. I was really small; maybe 2. I don't even remember their faces properly. When I try hard to get back to my memories I get flashes of a lovely young lady and a man with her too. And then I am overwhelmed with guilt, as if I was the terrible soul responsible for killing them - my parents - and deserving my lot as an abandoned child.

I feel they died painfully, you see whenever I force my brain to recall, I clearly hear some men shouting, "Leave that baby. Kill him instead."

I haven't told anyone except Nandini, but I suspect they were killed. But nothing is certain. It may just be my imaginations that I am inserting into the few memories I have of that night. But I'm sure it was probably a dreadful night; you know the type that you see in the movies. I had to have seen my parents dying in front of me for me to feel this way, right? I have no clue why I feel this way but I am sure there were shouting and then gunfire and then screams of pain. Sometimes all I can hear is wailing, and it wrenches my soul.

I keep trying to recall in my dreams that fateful night, but with little success. Strangely though whenever I try to remember I end up waking up thirsty: absolutely parched. Is this a clue, who knows; maybe I had been thirsty that night as well. But then that's like saying maybe I was hungry and since I'm hungry every day that sort of lessens the importance of my feeling. And so I close my eyes and try again, bidding the memories to come back. But all I get is darkness.

Then I open my eyes and I look around. Things are brighter. People are good. Life seems carefree and everything so colorful. Life had become soothing and not so scary.

Time has passed and since then I've started feeling different about myself. I used to like being around boys. Not like how other boys play but even more. I used to like when I hugged other boys while playing. I used to like holding hands with them for long time. I used to like pink. At times I loved playing the games girls of my orphanage played. I played more often with girls than boys because they never played the games I liked. But, as I grew older, even the girls did not like playing with me saying I was different and I should change.

Each week I tried, making a constant effort to change myself to what is expected, but every time I fail because I can't control my desires. I act strange and do odd things they say. And it makes me wonder who am I? The kids around me tease me and tell me I am weird. They don't play with me. I have heard them say that my being different was the reason my parents got killed. They say it was because of me they died. My seniors call me gay but I don't even know what that means. For me I was just playing and doing things I loved; things I wanted to. And every day in the orphanage we are told to do what it feel right; what your heart wants to because that never lies. Then how does that make me different and weird?

They say that all that matters in today's world is your image, and I don't fit the mold. And every time they say that I get confused. I can't be the only person who feels like this: who feels different. Maybe the others like me are just wearing mask in the fear of being caught. But could that be the reason that nobody has adopted me, because I'm different? And why did being true to myself and feeling better because I was following my heart not be the right thing to do?

It was Nandini who told me that I was fine and there was nothing wrong.

Finally I felt saner. Oh by the way Nandini, well she is my doctor. I met her here. For many nights when I came to the orphanage I used to cry in pain and wake up. So she was brought here to talk to me. To treat me. And she did. She made me what I am today. She greeted me every morning in her cheerful voice and a smile. She made me happy. At times I feel my mother would have been like her. But suddenly a year ago she stopped talking to me like she used to. She does not laugh like she used to. She's not as chirpy. She is quiet. She listens to me speak more often. Well she smiles too but not like before. That smile does not make my heart warm.

And in this past year I met Manik. I want to be like him. He is my role model. The orphanage people say he is a big time business man who earns a fortune, but he comes to visit me every day. He makes me listen to music. He said that music will make me feel better. He asked me to play guitar. He inspires me to play but he says he won't ever play. Strange he is too. However they spend hours with me. They talk to me. They play with me. They both make me feel normal.

I feel good around them.

With them around I feel I have a family. Then suddenly one day Manik told me that he would adopt me. He would take me away. He would keep me happy. He promised me. But it became weeks and he would still not take me. And finally today he said that it might take some more time.

This news makes me scared.

What if he is not able to take me from this place?

What if I never feel normal?

What if Manik leaves me like my parents?

Although I put on a brave face, I felt really bad. Then I heard some kids telling each other that MAnik came to know I was not normal and that is why he did not take me. I don't want to accept this, yet somewhere inside me, I feel they are right. He wouldn't be the first one to change his mind. Many times before people have come and after a few days they never returned. I sense Manik will do the same.

Am I so bad that nobody wants me?

Is this my fault that I feel very different?

Now I feel it's true. And maybe my parents were not murdered but instead decided to kill themselves after I was born because of me. Maybe they realized I was not normal and that grieved them so much and they killed themselves. It was probably easier to do that since they could not kill me because I was their child after all, and different or not maybe I had been the symbol of love once.

I want my old life back when my parents might have been happy with me if they had gotten to know me better and realized different isn't always bad. I want my parents back. So I am going to them. The guard uncle tells me my parents are dead but high up in the sky and they have become angels. They are happy there. So I am going to them to be happy. I just want to be happy. I just want a normal life like other kids at my school have. Was that too much to ask for?

I just want my parents now.

So I am doing what I must to be with them again.

My seniors in school told me that losing lots of blood can kill a person... I now know what to do.

This is my last diary entry...

I am dying.