A LONG YEAR- MaNan ff ch5 pg15 - Page 4

CHAPTER 2- THE UNINTENDED ACQUAINTANCE

She stumbled upon every hurdle that came her way and yet smiled, as if laughing at her own stupidity. I watched her as she joined a group of juniors who were laughing at her because she had run into one of their friends. I watched her laugh at her own self. I felt insulted by her lack of seriousness, could someone just explain to her the juniors were not laughing with her, they were laughing at her. She should be angry, she should make them stop, not laugh with them.

I started walking towards her, slowly and unintentionally. I didn't have the time to help her, but my legs weren't listening to my brain. I saw her walking straight towards Mukti and hurried my steps to stop her but I was too late.

"Hey, watch where you are going!" Mukti shouted.

"I would if I could," Nandani said, her smile still inseparable from her lips.

"What? You are blind then maybe you should go to some blind school or something," Mukti said and laughed wickedly, the laugh that made me hate her even more.

"Well you seem to be emotionally challenged, maybe mother, drugs and boyfriend problem but you are still here instead of a Psychiatric facility, so I guess I can be here too." Nandani replied in the sweetest of tones. Mukti felt embarrassed, she looked around and everyone was staring at her. She pushed through the crowd and made her way to the girl bathroom.

"Wow! That was a fitting reply, how did you know all that?" I told Nandani while helping her with her way.

"No it was just the truth, well I know people. She had that emotionally unstable vibe and her voice gave away the fact that she was high," Nandani said. "I think we should help her."

"Help her, really? She just tried to insult you."

"And I leveled the field by reply to the insult, but now we should help her. You can't keep grudges in your heart, it weakens the soul." She said and stopped.

"I am not helping her, but I won't stop you." I said and realised she wasn't beside me anymore. I turned and looked at her standing in the middle of the hallway. "What??"

"I need your help, will you help me?" she asked.

My mind was shouting at me- say no, you have already wasted a lot of time on this girl. But I said "Sure, what do you need?"

"I need you to take me to the music room," she replied, a shine coming into her eyes as soon as she spoke the word music.

"What? Don't tell me you are one of those irritating time wasting musicians." I said, hoping she was more like me.

"Umm... I would try and explain what music is but you won't understand, so why waste your precious time? Please just take me there, your parents have arranged music as a subject for me and I will be concentrating on that in my senior year."

"Oh... so you won't be studying with me?"

"I am blind, so I can't read the normal books and anyway I have been studying in a music school all my life and have no intentions of shifting my subject now." She said as I once again took her hand in mine and started guiding her. It took us about five minutes to get to the music room, when we arrived he was sitting there, still and lost as always.

Mr Sharma was the perfect teacher. He was one teacher the kids could never get the better of. Whatever witty retort they had, he had one better. He took their disobedience and turned into an advantage for himself, but not through belittling them or stamping authority. He checked their behaviour with a style of humour they could relate to, aspire to even. When he taught it was with the passion of a lifelong teacher, someone who lived to inspire a love of music in the next generation.

"Okay, here we are. Go straight in and after ten steps you will reach the desk of the teacher." I said and started walking off before Mr Sharma saw me I had to stay away from him, far - far away.

"Manik???" Nandani called out.

"And yess I will come back at the end of school to pick you up," I said. "And don't worry, people here are friendlier than the girl you met in the hallway." I added.

"Oh, I never worry about that, I just have to get used to the new place and everyone here will love me- I am sure." She said and smiled brightly.

I wanted to be with her, but I couldn't anymore. I had to leave, the whole council was waiting for me and I was never late, NEVER. I rushed through the shortcut and slid across the teacher's lounge to reach my destination. After a round of apologies the meeting went as planned and so did the rest of the day. I outclassed everyone as usual in both my academic class and my basketball practice. But the day wasn't like the rest of the days; the whole time I was out preforming everyone my heart was throbbing with excitement, excitement to meet Nandani. I wanted to calm myself, focus but my thoughts were filled with her smile.

As soon as the last bell rang I rushed to meet her, pushing through the crowd, heart throbbing faster than ever.

"Hey!" I said, she was standing outside the room by the door. "Sorry I am late, I was too lost in the practice, forgot about meeting you," I lied.

"It's okay, you aren't late," she said holding out her hand for me to hold. "Let's go!"

I took the same path to home from which I had come back. Sun sank lower in the sky, light of day draining away, giving way to the velvety dark of night, crickets chirping, dusky, colours subdued in the fading light, first buzz of mosquitoes, street lights click on, day winding down, first star in the night sky, short June darkness, air became cooler, evening landscape, twilight had fallen, the sharp shadow of the lamppost had faded into the dark of the sidewalk, fading light, only the faintest of light shone through the leaves, soon it grew dark, darkening sky, a close silence in the dim evening light.

"I need to tell you something, and I know it is not going to affect you but I still need to say it. You see I have this problem; I follow what my heart says. I don't want to regret not telling you how I felt so just bear with me." She started speaking in a soft voice and I listened carefully.

"I know you are a planner and I know you like to feel in control of everything. We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future. As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears, and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain: When it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it. We're all susceptible to it. The dread and anxiety of not knowing what's coming. It's pointless in the end. Because all the worrying, and all the making of plans for things that could, or could not happen, it only makes things worse. So walk your dog. Or take a nap. Just, whatever you do, stop worrying. Because the only cure for paranoia is to be... here... just as you are." She said and tightened her grip on my hand as if afraid I will leave her hand.

"Nandani, I am not going to leave you, and it is alright what you think, but you are right it does not change the way I think, Sometimes, the key to making progress is to recognize how to take that very first step. Then you start your journey. You hope for the best and you stick with it, day in and day out. Even if you're tired, even if you want to walk away. You don't. Because you are a pioneer. And nobody ever said it'd be easy. I have planned my journey and there are times I want to turn back, times I want to relax but I can't, I won't." I replied.

Nandani just smiled and maybe respected the fact that we were different individuals, walking the same path but with different destinations. I wanted to ask her about her accident, but I just couldn't. In that moment I wished to be more like her, I wished I could follow my heart.

"So how was your class?" I asked instead.

"Well... It was amazing, I just love Mr Sharma, he has this energy for music that brings everyone closer to music." She said excitement evident in her voice. "Also, he told me to tell you that he saw you and that you can't run away from ever. Care to tell me what he meant?" she asked giving a confused expression.

"Uhhh... I don't know!" I said, not wanting to reveal my life's story to a stranger.

"Okay don't tell me, but I can't even ask you about your day," she said making a puppy face.

"Why?"

"Because I already know it would have gone exactly how you planned," she said and smiled at me.

"Ahhh.. very funny," I said and laughed.

"Oh my God you can laugh as well, that is scary!"

"Well yeah, of course I laugh! Loads of time," I said trying to make her believe me.

"You do? Tell me the last time you laughed before this."

My mind started churning instantly; trying to go through my memories to mind the last happy moment, the last moment I laughed and nothing came through the filter. I rubbed my head, embarrassed and unable to find a reply.

"Well no one remember this stuff, when was the last time you laughed?" I asked, it was the best reply I could come up with.

"It was in the car, just before the accident. I was laughing on a joke my Father had just told us, he was smiling as well, proud that his joke made me laugh. Then suddenly My body hit the hood of the car and I screamed. My bones and muscles and joints and organs felt like they were being crumbled and smashed into a tiny box. My lungs contracted with such force that I was afraid they would fold into themselves. My torso and head smashed up against the windshield while my arms and legs were flailing, searching for somewhere to hold and stop the forward movement my body was going. The world must have kept flickering its figurative light switch because my vision kept flashing from bitter darkness to blinding white light. The only sound that filled my ears was the crushing of glass mixed with the distinct crackles of my bones. Then suddenly, everything became light. I was flying through the air, my broken body almost limp from the impact that occurred nanoseconds before. The next thing I know I was in the hospital, unable to see a thing, they said the glass got in my eyes and shredded the nerves." She said and silence dwer over. Somehow I had managed to steer the subject in this direction.

"Thank you!" she said after a while.

"For what?" I asked, my voice merely a whisper.

"For not feeling sorry for me again!" She said as we reached home.

I wanted to talk to her, know more about her, but I was scared, scared of letting myself be in her company for much longer so I let her go. I opened the door and asked my mother to tend to her. She moved her hands in all directions looking for me, but I stepped away, far enough to give her some space, or maybe give myself some space. I couldn't see the future yet I knew she was going to change everything I ever knew.