There she was.Sublime.
U know what I learnt about sublime when I was still a naive teenager, in a class?
That sublime evokes feelings of terror and awe; of beauty SO profound one can cry, and of terror so immense that you cower.
Nature, the elements are always supposed to be sublime: storms, floods, lightening, avalanches, mountains that seem to fall on you: these are sublime forces.
Love.
That is another.
Love, that overpowers everything.
Love that makes everything okay, and makes one suffer from a kind of pain SO immense, just because it makes one feel SO much.
That love that exists in his eyes when he looks at her staring at him with trust, with faith, with knowledge: she knows him inside out.
AND SHE LOVES HIM.
That boy who never had faith in himself, who never thought he could show his TRUE self to anyone for fear of being mocked, for fear of being a hero, for fear of being weak: he breaks down in her arms, because he needs her.
and she holds him and cries his tears, wipes his with her gentle hands, because if she wouldn't, who would?
No one DARED to come close to him, and yet, he walked to her.
always.
ALWAYS, he walked to her, whenever she called him, even when he thought he hated her, and she called him, he would walk back to her, respond to her, when she said 'manik'.
HE YEARNED to listen to his name from her lips. That much pain. that much love. He would DIE for her, he walked through flames for her.
He was her hero.
and yet: was he?
One cannot be a hero, ALL tHE TIME.
He broke, he cried, and he fought. He hurt, he lashed at her, and he pushed her away.
and then. She gave him a gift he never expected: light (which he had pushed away), love (which he had shut off), hope (which he refused to believe in).
He did not even know how she healed him..because she did not do anything. She existed. For him, in his world. SHE REFUSED TO LET GO OF HIM. SHE REFUSED TO LEAVE HIM BE.
She let him lash out. because she knew, he'd only do it in front of her; she opened her arms to the storm of hate, she cried with him, for him, because of him. and yet: she still loved him.
Through all the pain, all the hurt, all the fights: she loved him. she never lost faith in him. she never could.
he was not afraid to be himself with her.
In the face of that: how could she lose her hope?
The fact that she exists and is around her is enough for her for a lifetime: a few more moments are enough to make it last.
and yet.
Day before, yesterday, today (in fact from the past few days): he has been there, when she broke. She, who always knew how to give. HE, who knew that relationships are made of 'give and take'.
he is GIVING her so much love, without asking for any in return, but she loves him too much already.
He is her rock, holding her steady. She can hold on, and brave all the storms in her world, in their world, if he is there, standing tall.
He protects her, from everything. (mostly herself). She berates herself so much, that little child who was forced to grow up too soon. She faces so much responsibility, to be good all the time, to be happy and smiling all the time. and yet, with him, she can cry. But he does not let her, because it aches inside. SO much. He needs her to smile to function as MANIK, the boy who lost too much, the boy who is battling for them, as much as she is; the boy who will do ANYTHING for her smile, because his world revolves around her. As hers does around him.
That boy, who is becoming a man, because she gives him love, she gives him faith to grow. And he, he lets her be the child she never could be: because she was asked to grow up too much, too soon.
Together, they manage to be just about perfect.
P.S: these are ramblings :)
and no, they do not interfere with my so-called feminist thought because, this is about a beautiful balance of power equations rather than gender stereotyping: they heal one another, and let each other be: nothing to me can be more equal and mutually satisfying than that
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Geet!!! Post this on the main forum..OK...plz...yours words are simply out of the world..
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