Posted:
Ohhh my twinkie bear...we need to hug it out..IF has been mean..i swear i am gonna start copying every paragraph i end up typing so at least something may be saved that way.Originally posted by: twinkle10
ughhh! So I need to rant too... like I full wrote my response too and I was so emotionally attached to it because I felt all the scenes were flashing in front of my eyes again and then boom! One slip of a finger and the keypad showed it's magical move and I ended up on a totally uninvited page. Like whyyy? :'( So then I started writing. Agian. And here it goes.I'm glad you brought up a few points about Mukti. Honestly last night, I was too drenched in my manik's emotion that I felt the least to pay attention to any other character. But whilst we're at it... me shall drop in some things. Mukti's battle with herself was quite evident last night. She got drunk because she didn't want to fall weak. And especially not in front of her friends. If we think about it, she's never had the opportunity to take off this careless and bratty facade of hers and reveal the beauty of her true self. She did get the opportunity a few days ago, but now she has no one to show that side too. He's gone. And he's taken her true self with himself. So she's back with her mask of "I don't give a heck about this world" and has walked in again, knowing that for most people it wouldn't even make a difference because they are used to seeing her like this. Reckless and a mess. I really felt for her yesterday. When Cabir was trying to get her to spill about Abhi... it was a sad moment. She was fighting her tears and sorrow and wanted to conceal it from the whole world as if nothing had ever happened. But I still see hope somewhere. I feel this can't be the end of her story. This is not what she deserves. First her parents, then harshad and now abhi. I still hope with that unread letter than he hasn't abandoned her. He can stop fighting for himself. But he can never stop fighting for her. We saw he know her to the core. So he's bound to know the consequences his disappearance can bring in her life. So there is that teeny weeny hope but at the same time I'm scared for the both of them. I'm scared that what if it becomes too late and no letter is ever read, and no last goodbyes are ever said. I guess only time will tell what's in store though/.Now onto the the crux of yesterday's episode. Dhruv's unleashed feelings. It really fumed me o see that he put himself on top of all his friends and just vented non-stop, not considering the criticality of yesterday's situation. Mukti needed her friends the most yesterday. Couldn't he have kept mum for her sake? I admit that Manik has nurtured dhruv like his own baby brother, but the rest of the group hasn't cared for him any less. They've always been more protective and more careful towards him than each other because they knew his vulnerability and innocence could be easily manipulated by an external cruelty. But it totally shattered me to see that not only his brotherhood, but he pained his friendship too. And there stood my manik. Completely clueless. Absolutely baffled. Speechless. What? When? Where? How? There was pain. Yes. But there was more pain because he was blaming himself. How I just wanted to hug him and console him that no. It's not your fault. It never was. But he stumbled and fumbled in the cold, dark corridors that imaged the depths of his heart at that moment. He was all alone and it was all silent.He rejected all her requests to talk to her because he didn't want her to burn in the same fire he was writhing in. Even amidst all his pain, angst and heartbreak. He wanted to protect her. Protect her from himself. But he had forgotten that she was no separate to him. She lived right there. Within him, as her heartbeat. And when he relaised that... it was a truly beautiful moment. The way his lips stutter before finding the right words to tell her. He wanted to say so much but only silence seemed to be pouring from his inner-voice. And that one tear that just rolled down his left cheek. That marked his defeat. He had lost against himself. Lost against all his promises. And that's when he needed her the most.uh oh... I think I got carried away again. *sigh* the effect manik has on my life lolI seriously can't wait for tonight's episode and gosh writing on it will be like a dream.As usual... your essay had everything that my response lacked and so twinkie says thankyou!! hahaTalk soon!Twinkie <3
So...while i wanted to refrain to letting more thoughts loose..after reading your response..my wheels got turning again so you know..now a girl's gotta write...lol
Umm...we haven't touched on own Cabira and if we don't talk about him...our essays shall remain incomplete. Cabir is a wonderful friend, no doubt about it and yesterday,he had to pick between two friends, both friends who needed him. He is the last and the most reluctant one to leave Manik. Deep down, he understood Manik's pain and wanted to be there for him. But he realized Mukti needed him more, to save her from making a mistake she is bound to regret. And Manik has always taken care of everyone..his friends aren't use to role reversal, they know Manik takes care of himself and that's where his friends let him down the most. Cabir assumes he will be okay: "you will be okay na, i will call you." I don't blame Cabir thou, he just had to pick the friend that needed him 'more."
Mukti too wears a mask, so glad you pointed that out. Fab 5, man they are such a broken bunch. You were absolutely right in saying that Abhi has taken her true self away. He was the one to show her who she truly is..and what a beautiful person she can be..But as he left..her true reason for smiling, she is back to the facade of drinking, hookups. You know she was prepared for him to die and leave that way where fate left them with no choice..but this way, he has willingly walked away and that's why this hurts her so much more. She wanted to burst out into tears when Cabir asked about Abhi..she wanted to throw herself and cry in her friend's arms that she has been abandoned once again but Mukti like Manik relies on anger to cope. She will be angry with Abhi so the pain dulls to numbness.I sincerely hope that Abhi has gone to try new treatment..for Mukti's sake, he has decided to fight the cancer and defeat it for their love. I have hope left for Abhi and Mukti..they deserve happiness and togetherness.
There is a point where you mention that Manik blames himself and honestly i hadn't thought of that before but it makes complete sense. Manik might eventually blame himself..thinking that he has failed as a friend and brother..that the fault lies within himself( oh this sounds so familiar) But i hope Nandini can help him understand that he isn't so. in reality, he is a wonderful friend, who gives all the love his heart has.
Oh i absolutely love your thought that even amidst all this pain and heartbreak, Manik wants and needs to protect his Nandini. He will even try to shield her from his own wrath. He know his anger is about to consume him and he would hate for her to see the Monster unleash. He would hate to be the reason for her tears. Oh yes ! you said my beautiful moment for me. When Manik comes to her after being so utterly lost, he found her, her light guiding him. Right before he says that he needs it...that struggle, the defeat, the need, the heartbreak..all wrapped up in one look he gives her ! With my emotions on the rise..i forgot about my beautful moment but you said it for me
Ummm..i think i got carried away too..opps :P
Tomorrow tomorrow...hurry the fudge sauce up..lol
- Reya aka Your Sunny <3
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