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a/n - I think I made myself sad writing this OS. :/ This OS is a character study of Manik till just before the kiss. I hope you guys like it. Leave a like/comment, it makes my day, it really does and makes me want to write more.
Reaching for the Stars
"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward."
E.E. Cummings
Manik Malhotra loved hugs. Why you ask? It's because people always tend to want what they can't have. Little Manik was given everything money could buy, but no amount of expensive toys could ever equal a loving hug from his mother.
Reaching for the Stars
"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward."
E.E. Cummings
Manik Malhotra loved hugs. Why you ask? It's because people always tend to want what they can't have. Little Manik was given everything money could buy, but no amount of expensive toys could ever equal a loving hug from his mother.
He would see parents hugging their children goodbyes when they dropped them off at school and wonder why he went alone with Driver Bhaiyya. It made him so very sad.
So, once, when he was feeling exceptionally brave he asked his mom to hug him.
"Oh Manik, my saree will ruffle." she said. And he had never asked again.
If you ask anyone who knows Manik about who gives the best hugs then they'd tell you, hands down, Manik. It's because when he hugged, he let comfort flow through him. He hugged because he knew their worth.
Not only did he love hugging, he liked intimacy. Not the vulgar kind, the kind where he would listen to every little detail that Aaliya had to say about her favourite dress, or Mukthi had to say about her new favourite rock band, or Cabir about that dumb joke he had read online.
Growing up he hated being alone at home. It made him desperate and uneasy. So he went to Dhruv's house. Before he knew Dhruv, he never ventured out. He had never met someone who had just seen him as Manik and not the "rich kid". Dhruv's silence was the most comforting thing about him. It was his silent acceptance that had moved Manik. No one quite understood their friendship, he never expected them to.
Manik loved his friends, his home was with them. They had given him what all the money in the world couldn't give him; their love and their acceptance.
And yet, through all that, he still never felt quite as wanted. He always knew his friends would mean much more to him than he ever did to them. They, after all, had families to go back to; brothers sisters, lovers, parents. He knew this and he understood it.
But now.
Now things were a bit different. How could they possibly be the same after she waltzed into his life? His star. His Nandini. Someone he could attach the term "his" to. She told him she'd shine for him, that she'd pray for him and that she trusted him. All without him ever asking. No one had ever unconditionally loved him without asking for something in return. They loved him because he listened, they loved him because he was there...never just because he was Manik.
But Nandini, she liked him because, well, because he was Manik.
He never intended to fall in love with her. It happened. He never wanted her to stumble on to him. It happened. It was the universe that put them together. And god knows even the great Manik Malhotra couldn't stop that.
So he stopped worrying about all that. He wanted to hear her say that he mattered to her. He wanted to make her pulse quicken and her heart beat faster. All because of him. Arrogant? Of course. That's who he was, no two ways about it; flawed.
When he wanted a hug, he went to the one person he knew would never say no. And he needed that. He needed to know that someone out there would always be there. So he grabbed her, pressing himself on to her. And she had reacted exactly how he needed her to react. She had put her arms around him, no questions asked. She comforted him without demanding anything.
But then there was something else about the hug that unnerved him. It was how perfectly she fit in his arms and how right it had all felt. He remembered everything about the hug in great detail. How her breathe felt against his neck. How her arms went around him. How she moved closer into the hug.
And it brought a smile to his face.
He never anticipated these feelings; never thought for a second that he would trust, love (for they were the same thing to him) someone so deeply.
And then something else had happened. Something he never thought possible. She was responding to him, she was returning his feelings. And he had felt brave.
When he touched her, she trembled in his arms. When he got closer, her breath quickened. When he leaned in, she closed her eyes and parted her lips. All he knew was he wanted more. More of her. More of everything they shared. He wanted to grab her and kiss her. Kiss her slowly and kiss her hard. Make her melt in his arms and have her shiver under his touch. Watch the love shine through her eyes and watch her smile for him.
He couldn't get enough of her. He wanted to constantly be close to her. Invade her personal space. Bring all her attention on him. Close was never close enough when it came to her. Was that childish? Perhaps so. But when he was with her he felt like he never had before. Like everything was all right. Like as long as he was next to her, nothing bad would ever happen.
He wanted her to always trust him, shine for him, and pray for him. He had wanted her to say it out loud. Tell him he wasn't alone. He has been alone for too long. Not anymore.
Tonight everything was going to change.
~fin
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