A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.
The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: "That's it."
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A newspaper boy was standing on the corner with a large pile of papers, shouting, "Read all about it. Twenty five people cheated. Twenty five people cheated."
Intrigued, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. What he saw was yesterday's paper. The man said, "Hey, this is an old paper, where's the story about the big swindle?" The newspaper boy ignored him and went on yelling out, "Read all about it. Twenty six people cheated."
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How long have you been married?
When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice.
"The first ten years are the hardest."
"How long have you been married?" she asked.
"Ten years," he replied.
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What becomes of the broken hearted?
A hospital clinic for the broken hearted has been set up in Germany to give emergency treatment to those who have been dumped.
Set up by Munich based Doctor Birgit Delisle, the clinic in the Schwabing Hospital is aimed primarily at lovesick teenagers who do not know how to cope with a broken heart. "Having your heart broken can lead to physical and psychological problems, from loss of appetite which leads to sudden weight loss to unbelievable pain that drives many people to take drastic measures."
The free clinic in the Bavarian capital will have experts on hand to advise both sexes on how to cope with being single. There is little truth in the rumour that thousands of young people are travelling to Munich as I write this report....