Just little bits again....

They might not be all that funny…but just enjoy……next time it'll be better….

Two friends meet each other on the street. "hello! Where are you coming from?" asked Bill. "Oh, don't ask me! I'm coming from the cemetery. I just burried my mother-in-law" replied Sid. "I'm so sorry!" said Bill, "But why is your face schratched all over?". "It wasn't so easy!" said Sid, "She put on a hell of a fight!"

When you ask a housewife, accountant, and lawyer what 2+2 is, what do they give you?

The housewife says "Four." The accountant says "It's either three or four, let me run it through my spreadsheet again." The lawyer closes the shutters, turns down the lights, and whispers "What do you want it to be?"

How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?

They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end youlose your house.

why'd the monkey fall outta the tree?

'cause he was dead...

why'd the other monkey fall outta the tree?

'cause he was dead too...

why'd the third monkey fall outta the tree?

peer pressure...

*edited*

*edited*

I've use up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.