SMILES
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
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A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
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Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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You should not confuse your career with your life.
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Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
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You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
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There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
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It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
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Don't worry what people think, they don't do it very often.
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If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
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Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
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Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.
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A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
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The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that , deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
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It's not the jeans that make your bum look fat ……… it's the fat
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Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
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Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
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