JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!

An English professor announced to the class; "There are two words I don't allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool."
From the back of the room a voice called out, "So, what are the words?"

• The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!"
"What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."

• An interviewer asked, "Can you operate a typewriter?"
"Yes, sir, I use the Biblical system."
"I never heard of it."
"Seek and ye shall find."
Have a great day!!

• Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."

• Dave jumped up from the card table white with rage.
"Stop this game," he shouted, "Joe is cheating!"
"How do you know?"
"He's not playing the hand I dealt him!"

• The weatherman is the only person who can be wrong every single day and still have their boss tell them see ya tomarrow