The riddle of death... (end) - Page 87

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Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: lashy

Chapter 17

"You had clear idea about who is the killer from first, right Maan? That's why you tried your best to cover her as much possible.

So instead of Meenakshi protecting Maan like some had guessed... it was the other way around...😊

>> Yep😉

"You showed me this copy as your alibi of solving test-papers at the night of the murder right? But you only completed 3 and a half problem in that whole night, the rest of the answers are written at the next day...

Isi liye bade kehte hain time pe homework kiyaa karo... ab dekho kyaa hua!😒

>> 🤣 🤣 Correct! 😆

"I can prove nothing unless I send the ink and copy in lab or to any graphology expert to test.

Stuti didi has done some hi-fi research! Par graphology kyaa forensic anthropology kyaa... nothing stands in front of the dimaag-ology of our hunk Jalal!😎

>> Stuti Didi has not done any research! It's just she has started playing criminal case and watching some of the episodes of CID 🤣

And of course! None of the logies can start before Jalal's dimagology. 😆

"Ok, assume that I was watching adult videos in my phone instead of studying.

Jijaji se kaise baatein kar rahe ho!😲

>> Bad boy!!😡

"Picture of my mother. My uncle Sujamal kaka's name was written on the first page... Then while reading that I could not... I could not control myself. He forced himself to control his voice and the tears. "I always loathed my father... but I never knew he was so dirty!"

Maan's voice broke as he covered his face with his palms. Jalal came forward and patted his shoulders with brotherly affection.

Awww😭

"Papa was sleeping on his chair and none was there in room... I was very much sure that he was not stabbed... Just then Nirmala Chachi screamed and everyone got down... Then after a while Maa went upstairs. Then the shout and scream, the murder...

I am a little confused now... when he first checked on his dad... he'd already been murdered by the sleeping pills, right? Then came the knife angle...🤔

>> Maan did not entered inside the room and checked whether his dad is alive or not. He peeped into the room and seeing the body of Bharmal thought that he was sleeping. He did not see any knife in his body as he was not stabbed at that time. So when at the next moment all discovered the knife, he understood very well that someone has stabbed him after... and it was a easy guess for him that who did this.

Never mind... I'll find out when I read the rest!😊

>> Hope it's clear now. 😃

"My doubt on you became firm after this.

Mine too!🤔

>> You can be an assistant of Jalal. 😉

"What you would have done if you were in my place?

Jalal stared at the boy's red, tearful and agonized face for some moments. Then he sighed. "I don't know! He confessed.

Very poignant moment!

>> 😳 😊

"Yes, you don't know! You can never know. From childhood I wanted my mother to protest. For once. And she did it today. And I will support her. No matter what happens, I will support her!

😭

Maan looked at him with question in eyes. Jalal continued. "Rishav Sindhu, your sister's lover- had to struggle all his life without the support of his father. Your sister Sukanya never knew how her father was... Their deaths never got justice. Just like your responsibility is to save your mother; it is their responsibility to give justice to their father. They had the right to claim that justice. And only you can help them in this path of justice.

Beautiful words... 😳

>> Thanks 😃

"That diary Maan.

The hero of the story is still alive!😲

>>😎

Jalal tum kyaa shaanaa nikle yaar!😎

>> Meri bhi thori taarif kar do! 😭 😆

"I stapled all the loose-sheets of the diary with each of the sets of my class-notes. I was sure that none will read these formulas of Physics till the end in order to get a page of an old diary from it.

If I was the ACP, he would've surely outwitted me, for he was right about this!😕

>> 😆😉

"I don't need these. Let Sujamal Singh and Meenakshi Aunty's past live in their heart only. You can destroy these pages or can keep these for your mother if you want. These papers in my hand are enough to fetch justice for Paresh Sindhu and Sujamal Singh.

Big Brains. Big Heart. Big muscles.😭

"None is punished to be hanged for killing a vulture!

Of course...👏

>>⭐️

Surprisingly none of the family had a bit of detested feeling on Meenakshi as a murderer. Rather all were concerned about how to prove her innocent and to bring her back.

This is SO encouraging!

Jalal was looking extremely pale and tired, which is generally a rare scene.

Oh you poor thing!😭

"I will convince her telling that Maa will go to Mumbai with me. I hope she will believe it! She sighed. All the others sighed with her.

The same room, the same furniture, the same environment. Still Jalal felt some drastic change has taken place just now. The purity and happiness that used to cover the air of the room has been replaced forever with a dark cloud of gloom and agony. The room was empty. Only on the huge bed the old woman was lying alone... A strange aura of pain and gloominess was surrounding her. Who will say that she is the same woman who had wholeheartedly welcomed Jalal in the house in the first day of their meeting?

This stark contrast has been described very very well, Stuti! Beautiful👏

>>Thank youuu🤗

"Umm? Dadi asked, without opening her eyes. Suddenly Jalal felt as if she does not even have that strength left.

Dadi opened her heavy eyelids. Her pace face glowed in a little brightness seeing Jalal.

"How can I forget you, Dadi! Jalal told.

Rulaaoge kyaa, readers ko?😭 Of the entire update, there were two parts that I REALLY REALLY loved.. one was the Jalal Jodha finale at the terrace... and this one..

>> Aww😳 I wrote these part with special care. 😃

It was a work par excellence - Jalal's meeting with daadi... more for its emotional content and the subtly sad way in which the truth is brought out! 👏

>>☺️ Thankks!

The old Dadi, the energetic charming Dadi has lost in the wheel of time and situation... The woman lying in front is nothing but her shadow... or her lifeless body...

😭

"Don't spoil Jalal with so much of love, Dadi. Because someone else has come to compete with Jalal.

Dhat! Jodha... how can anyone compete with Jalal😡? That too, a guy who left his lover without any information...

>> Woh to baas kahena tha kahe diya! She knows that Jalal is the best!😎

"Sinemet. You did not take this pill at the night of the murder, right?

Oh my God Stuti... I was right about THIS too! Do you remember? That I said it was daadi who poisoned him!!!😲

>> That's why I said that you have become Sherlock Homes.😆

And you laughed at me!😡

>> Not at all. I was actually worried that you got to know everything and there will be no surprise element, and you thought that I was joking. 😆

Dadi was still gazing at him with the same smile.

"Maybe pills were finished! Dadi said with the same smile. As if she was joking with Jalal.

I somehow liked her attitude here a lot. Defeatist but with a smile. Fate has been so cruel with her that she had one son murdered by another and she murdered the other son...

>> Yeah! 😭

Btw, I've highlighted some beautiful gems from your crown of a chapter!👏

>> 😳

Her heavy sigh from the deep of her heart suddenly suffocated the room again.

In my long journey of this vain, worthless woman-life, Sujamal was the one and only element for whom I was proud!

"I am tired! I want rest... I will sleep now Jalal. I will sleep.

👏

It was 12 o' clock of the night... the last night of the year perhaps... But the darkness had no clue of it. The calm village was sleeping under the soft warmth of the dark sky. The chilling breeze was only soothing the air... Strangely, day goes on, years after year come and go, but the air of change does not enter in the village... It keeps on sleeping in the darkness. Storm comes, storm goes, the calm life shatters for a while and it wakes up to find where is it... but again it forgets, becomes calm and keeps on going on in this static darkness... Standing at an edge of the roof clasping each other tightly to bear the chill of the nightly wind, Jalal and Jodha was trying to penetrate the riddle of that dark night only. How the life goes on in this little village in the lap of the mountains, how people keeps on living without losing hopes and faces all the adversities so casually, was perhaps unable to be understood by their polished complex thought-process.

Beautiful description Stuti take a bow! This paragraph could not have been an easy one to pen!👏

>> I took a long time to write this single para. 😛 (And while doing this, forgot to write a part which I had planned to write. 😡 😆)

I escaped and arranged my life like a selfish and never looked back. She started sobbing.


"Can you tell me how the things took place one-by-one? I am losing the serial.

Apaaa... thank you Jalal... for people with badaami memory like me, it helps!

>>😆

"How strange, isn't it? Jalal murmured. "Two very common women, caring, loving, devoted to their family, full of motherhood, can even kill a man out of vehemence! In which state of mind, in which extent of rage a human crosses his limit of endurance and can decide to end a life?

THIS was exactly what I was thinking!😕

>> Both of your thought process is similar you see. 😆 You also solved the case before Jalal did; 😉


"May I ask you one thing? Jodha asked.

"You're taking permission to ask me something? Jalal tried to smile.

Something that brought an instant chuckle to my face!😆

>> 😆

"I know you from a long time. You do not compromise with anything when it comes to your duty as a policeman... Then why you spared Dadi?

Jalal smiled.

Stop smiling so much and making the rest of us weak-kneed!😡

"Maybe I try to be a hardcore officer Jodha... but I have no guts to put handcuff to an old woman waiting for her last call in her deathbed in order to get justice from the ultimate after facing all punishments in her life...

😭

"And since Maa actually had stabbed a dead body, the charge of homicide will not be applicable on her... Jodha smiled a bit sadly. The tone of her voice was wet...

"I know the case will be nothing for you. Jalal smiled. "Don't worry Jodha.

No... there is still intent... she will be charged with intent... which will amount to attempted murder or at least, desecration of a deceased body - both of which carry jail terms.

For example, the mastermind in a plot is charged, though they never physically kill..

but, obviously it was all done under extreme duress... which they'd be able to prove with eyewitnesses... so the number of years given to Meenakshi will be reduced...

>> Yes... Obviously she will not be released without any punishment; but the punishment would be less. And also there is no direct evidence...

"Can I ever give my mother back the life she lost behind? Can I ever console that old lady whose unstable, paining heart has driven her to kill the person whom she loved as her son? Can I ever make them normal like before?

"You can become the source of light for those hearts where darkness has veiled the light and the happiness. You will do it!

"I know Jalal... Jodha murmured. "I can do anything when you are beside me. And I also know that you will always be there beside me! She came closer and touched his cheek in an uncanny passion. "Thank you Jalal... for coming in my life... she closed her eyes... Jalal leaned in, gently pressed his lips against her lips in a soft, warm, affectionate manner... She eventually clasped his body, he drew her even more closer... and they started floating in the sea of an uncanny emotional passion...

This was a beautiful end, Stuti...

>> 😳

Neither here nor there like how it would've been...

This must've been the toughest chapter to write and you've outdone yourself... the words.. the settings... the length of each conversation without going into too much detail and yet not leaving anything untouched... the analogies... it was all beautiful... as readers, we just skim through the gist of it... but I know as a writer how much time it takes to think of likening the state of daadi and Meenakshi to that of a veiled darkness!!! 👏

>> Di Di Di!!!! 🤗 🤗 🤗 Thank you sooo much for your valuable feedback!😳

Kudos dear... excellent work! Wish you all the success in your future endeavours too!🤗

>> Thank you so much for this excellent review DI! Honestly speaking, I never realized you would gift me such a special review so fast. Thank you sooo much! You made my day.😳

roseraja1915 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Maan being in possession of the diary and, in fact ,was reading it at the time of the murder was very cleverly deduced by Jalal.

Convinced that it was his Mother who had stabbed Bharmal, Maan was more than determined to protect her by destroying the original diary.

Jalal managed to persuade Maan to hand over the copy ( Btw, what an ingenious hiding place for the diary- among his Physics notes 👏) to exonerate Paresh Sindhu and Sujamal Singh.

I don't think I can admire Jalal more than I already do ,not just merely discharging his duties according to the book but relying on his conscience to ensure a more humane approach is used since the wrongdoers involved are victims of unfortunate circumstances , apart from being his future family, of course.

Meenakshi being revelead as the murderer in the previous chapter hit us like a thunderbolt ; and for the second time we were dealt another devastating hit when Dadi was revealed as the actual killer. Sensational strike, Stuti!

Everything was clearly explained by Jalal and he has every confidence that Jodha will be able to bring the much-dimmed brightness back to the lives of her loved ones. On her part, Jodha derives her strength and determination with Jalal by her side. What a sweet ending!

Bravo and thank you Stuti for a marvellous Akdha FF. 👍🏼

Your first attempt at this genre and you pulled it off admirably.

But why end it at Chapter 17 ( your lucky number?) , should have concluded it at Chapter 20.

It was a thrilling thriller with all the twists and turns to keep the readers in suspense until the very end - and the bombshell revelations of the guilty parties.👏

Congrats and thank you once again, dearie!

Edited by roseraja1915 - 7 years ago
Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: roseraja1915

Maan being in possession of the diary and, in fact ,was reading it at the time of the murder was very cleverly deduced by Jalal.

>> Hain na? 😉 😆

Convinced that it was his Mother who had stabbed Bharmal, Maan was more than determined to protect her by destroying the original diary.

Jalal managed to persuade Maan to hand over the copy ( Btw, what an ingenious hiding place for the diary- among his Physics notes 👏) to exonerate Paresh Sindhu and Sujamal Singh.

>> I suddenly got the idea while looking at the pile of my classnotes. 🤣

I don't think I can admire Jalal more than I already do ,not just merely discharging his duties according to the book but relying on his conscience to ensure a more humane approach is used since the wrongdoers involved are victims of unfortunate circumstances , apart from being his future family, of course.

>>Yes. 😳

Meenakshi being revelead as the murderer in the previous chapter hit us like a thunderbolt ; and for the second time we were dealt another devastating hit when Dadi was revealed as the actual killer. Sensational strike, Stuti!

>> Really? 😃

Everything was clearly explained by Jalal and he has every confidence that Jodha will be able to bring the much-dimmed brightness back to the lives of her loved ones. On her part, Jodha derives her strength and determination with Jalal by her side. What a sweet ending!

>> 😳 😳

Bravo and thank you Stuti for a marvellous Akdha FF. 👍🏼

>> Thank youuu⭐️

Your first attempt at this genre and you pulled it off admirably.

>> 😃

But why end it at Chapter 17 ( your lucky number?) , should have concluded it at Chapter 20.

>> Actually I planned to end in chapter 20; but the calculations went wrong it ended before. 😛

It was a thrilling thriller with all the twists and turns to keep the readers in suspense until the very end - and the bombshell revelations of the guilty parties.👏

>> Thank you so much for sticking with it from beginning to end and keeping on motivating me with your valuable feedback 😃

Congrats and thank you once again, dearie!

>> Love u diii!🤗

old_charm thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
epilogue or prequel ?


😉
Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: --cute.manasi--

epilogue or prequel ?



😉


Haven't got time to decide. 😆
old_charm thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: Shinning_Stuti


Haven't got time to decide. 😆



old_charm thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

The Start...

Madhubani a mystique !!

Really a mystique , where even after passing of so many decades from british raaj yet the power is in hands of one Singh family...😒

So many enigmas in one family , where every individual has its own story in depth though not on face .

& to think of this that our hero wanted to pursue this family...very coolly in full DDLJ style...then one could not help themselves from saluting the bravery of young lad...😎

But thanx to the lady who dropped the miseries of her man with her candidness & helped herself & him from the hardwork...😛😉

I liked the whole part stuti , the way u sketched the plot...setting stage for the coming mysteries & thrill , & offcourse whole mechanism of the story in form of characters , real them is yet to be explored in next chapters but the way they are one can catch a glimpse of it from start...👏👏👏

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Posted: 7 years ago

Part 1...

A good for nothing inspector...

Suspect is surya...😲

Some similarities but the prominent disclosure from jodha is definitely making jalal think more of it...🤔

Now coming to the night of murder , I absolutely loved the way u write the part for lovers , sorting their tensions with subtle aroma of romance , the light heartedness in their talks truly gives glimpse to the level of understanding between two mature heads , it was the twinkling part of the chap...😳

& then the series of tragedy begins...

Also , I liked jalal's interference in suku's matters especially stopping that mad man who has no sympathy for her sister he was ready to slap her...😡

old_charm thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Part 2...

The way jalal put radhika in interrogation straight after shivani...👍🏼👏😆

She very conveniently gave it , that there has been more from what she is telling & its not complete truth about her whereabouts...😲

We'll get to know more about her...😊

While jodha's uneasiness on every mention of surya was enough to produce internal frowns on jalal...

& then during the search , we get to know the unknown facts , clearance of few doubts , some uncomfortable moments hence tensions further deepens...💔

One is jealous another is rueful .

What happens in Mr. Suspect's room then is the normal disturbance which the new revelations hv surely managed to cause in their peaceful relation .

Both r right & wrong in their own ways & this insecurity is only the sign of greater affection they hv for each other .

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Posted: 7 years ago

Part 3...

This fully opium loaded watchman...

No wonder ACP is so miffed...😛

But this is what mostly happens , though it was bit comical while reading his answers alas such security lapse only adds up for better investigation & it's the case here .

Jalal finds another new lead , which tells that it was not only surya...someone else too was involved .

The flashbacks of surya...

So surya was in bubble all the while , error of judgement too .

He remained blind & really could not understand jodha , that changes in her , the new developments of her character...all surya has failed to discern , hence this kind of hurt .

I think he very conveniently thought jodha will have to agree with her father's wishes & he trusted Mr. Bharmal too faithfully...😆

Therefore all these years he had been living on his imaginary terms .

Thanx to Ja-Jo for giving him the rude shock but he was also prepared to return the favour though unintentionally...

I could perceive in this chap the fact that they r strong individuals their emotions r kept in check & do not let personal feelings interfere in the path of duty yet they r humans so the hurt would take time in turning to healed .

moving to the next flashback I hv some doubts here...does meenakshi really meant what she said or it was just part of her plan...😉

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