beautiful post Mansi, writing from my tab, so just few lines today... few of my points, Maddy will add later , as i have requested her...Friends, let me bypass the full first six minutes of the episode yesterday where Maham was taunting Jodha about her nightly sojourns, and deriving immense satisfaction at seeing a dejected Jalal following her. Let's also leave aside the self-congratulatory stuff that Maham was saying to herself for driving a wedge between Jalal and Jodha.
Let's get straight to the point about how Jalal is feeling. For the whole episode yesterday spoke to me of Jalal's feelings.
Without blaming Jodha for the cause of it, I feel deeply for Jalal's pain after seeing yesterday's episode. I feel his pain like I feel my own pain. Yesterday I wrote a lot about why I will not blame Jodha for keeping her secrets and vachans, so I won't focus so much on Jodha today. But what exactly ails Jalal? What is his angst really that was so palpable in almost every scene of yesterday's episode?
Part of the problem that Jalal seemed to face was not knowing exactly what was the pain he felt. The episode itself took Jalal on a journey through the different aspects of his pain, meeting different people who tried to help him by throwing light for him on his real issue with Jodha.
- Was it the fact that Jodha was going out every night to meet a stranger whom he didn't recognise?
No it wasn't really ... he trusted her to do everything for a good reason, as he himself said.
- Was it the fact that people like Maham were making him feel small that his wife was betraying him with another man?
No that was not the issue either ... for Maham is clearly becoming less and less important in his life these days, and he has started leaning more on his own mother Hamida.
- Was it extreme concern for Jodha's safety that was eating him up?
Not that too ... for how long would it take for him to send a posse of sipahis behind her without her knowing?
- Was it the fact that despite his trusting Jodha so much, she was not trusting him back?
Even though he liked to use the heavy word of "trustlessness" as his reason for angst against Jodha, I think he knew heart-of-hearts it was not even about her lack of trust in him.
Folks, I think he has realised somewhere deep inside (as we all have also realised) that it's about "loneliness". It's about the way he feels so deeply about her, how ready he is to share with her his whole life - and yet she is keeping that little distance still between them, unwilling to tell him about certain parts of her life. It's the separation, the distance, the aloofness, the unhappy feeling of being rejected from her confidences.
perfect..👍🏼
Jalal will heal if he stops calling the problem "trustlessness" and accepts that he's hurt by her "unreadiness" to share her 100% self with him. I think he will either have to listen to his mother and have patience till Jodha is ready to share. Or else he would have to vent before the pressure-cooker situation inside him erupts spectacularly!
I know that Jodha is also in a tight spot here and is unable to share everything with him, even as she wants to ... because circumstances have put her in a nasty place where the lives of both her brother and her husband are at stake. She needs her brother to live so that with his help and information she can help Jalal to be saved form another assassination plot. But meanwhile Jalal is taking the "loneliness and feeling of rejection" badly. He knows he should exert patience but it's easier said than done. He may need to vent very soon for his own peace of mind.
I think Jodha can help him even if she cannot share her secrets with him yet. She can be there for him to vent, and forgive him for all his harsh words he says to her in the anger of spewing out whatever is troubling him. She can say to herself "Let me help him get it all out if he's feeling so bad about my keeping secrets from him. Circumstances are forcing me to be secretive, but that does not mean I cannot be compassionate. I can be there for him if he wants to vent, and I will show him that I always will be there for him, even if he has to occasionally show me his worst side!"
Jo might forgive him easily, but the question is, will he be able to forgive himself after knowing that she was innocent all the time, and was doing everything for him only...
Zee have told many of us phone-callers that after this track Jalal will discover a new positive side of Jodha that he has never seen before. I have a feeling that he will see the compassionate side of Jodha. He will see that even when he is at his worst behaviour, and her hands are tied, she can still forgive him for his rudeness or off-behaviour, and help him through his problems. He will see that a really solid relationship is one where they are not just fair-weather friends, but can also take the stormy days in their stride. And he will see that this is not just a one-way street, they both have to be there for each other in their respective bad times.
I know that in the next few episodes Jalal is going to burst (as that promo showed us) but I want Jodha to be strong enough to let him be that way. I don't want her to take his anger personally or be unforgiving about it. I want her to realise that love is also about being there when the person you care for is spitting back at you unable to bear his own inner tortures.
Can Jodha do it? Jalal needs her now to do it for him!
My comments on all these scenes of Jalal above: Friends, throughout this episode, in all of the five scenes above, Jalal was with different people ... but on the slow boil. His anger with Jodha , instigated by her secret meetings with the stranger he saw her with, is simmering away waiting to come to a head and have a spectacular blowout. We can all feel that tension in the air. Atga, Hamida and the ladies of the harem could feel that. And I am sure even Jodha could feel that.
Through these five scenes above we saw a pattern of inner turmoil, and inability to handle it, emerge in Jalal step by step.
- With Atga, he felt some distress in himself but was unready to talk about it. He wanted to privately nurse his inner tumult. He was remembering and rehashing all the flashbacks of Jodha with that man - and stoking his own anger.
- He then met with Jodha near the Tulsi plant and got a chance to show his sarcasm at her. He spoke in innuendo about how the ones closest to him seemed to be the ones ready to backstab him. It seemed fortunate to him that Jodha was talking about treacherous close ones in his family - because he seemed to want to see her also as one of the treacherous ones. But try as he might, Jalal I think was unable to sustain his anger and sarcasm at Jodha. He was unable to call her actions a "treachery" for he himself knew that he was over-reacting and carrying his irritation with her too far. Her injury to his heart was certainly not of the "treachery" class! He needed perspective and a way to handle his pain, but he didn't know how.
- After much thought, he went (not to his usual venomous anti-Jodha Badi Ammi) but this time to his kind and wise Jodha-loving Ammijaan! He put his head in her lap like a little lost boy and asked her what he should do if he trusted someone so close to him, and yet they did not seem to trust him in return. His mother advised patience and healing in the fullness of time. But even that perhaps didn't sound so right. For it was easier said than done to wait in patience.
- At the harem and later in the garden he found himself biting at Jodha, insulting her, showing his own arrogance and trying to make her feel small. The feelings inside were not willing to wait .. they were already beginning to give expression to themselves and pouring out of him as if he couldn't control them. But I doubt if that gave him enough satisfaction either. Mere arrogance and sarcasm was not going to help him feel spent and able to think again.
Will Jalal go back to being the jallad? No, I wouldn't say that at all. He is just smarting under the fact that the one he loves isn't seeming to love back in "equal measure". For if there was that equal love, would she not want to bare her heart to him and tell him everything?
What does Jalal need to do? He needs to just vent and let out the pent up emotions!
I think it will take a blowout from him to clear the cobwebs from his mind and show him that he was not wounded by betrayal, treachery, under-handedness, backstabbing or any of those heavy words. He will discover the truth, that he was wounded by the simple act of her not being ready to share her troubles with him, take him into her confidence.
He will discover that it was such a superficial hurt - but it hurt him a lot because he had learnt to love her and trust her so much that the loneliness and rejection he felt from her non-reciprocity was taking on the dimensions of a major inner wound for him!
And what does Jodha need to do to help him here (knowing she can't help him by telling her secret out to him yet)? She too needs to allow him to vent and not take it too personally. She needs to give him a helping hand to pour it all out and bear it with grace when he spews venom at her.
There's a beautiful quote just apt for these two people now. "Love is being able to bite your tongue when he wants to tear his hair out". Jodha needs to bite her tongue and take his verbal lashings as a different expression of his love, in a situation where she too is unable to do anything else to help him.
once again very positive and perfectly written...
Current Affairs
Real Estate
24