IS IT Hate Or Love CHAPTER 21 Page 144 ~ THREAD 1 CLOSE - Page 7

Awesome story Yaar! Eager to read more!

really very nice...plzz update soon na...eager for more...

Amazing update
poor jodha
hope jalal treats her well after she gets well

Recap: Jalal was so surprised and shocked to hear that she has not eaten anything for last 3 days. He was very angry at Moti for not telling him. He was already disgusted at himself for his behavior and he made her cook for 100 people. He was so much in guilt seeing her condition. He has never seen any one stubborn like her, to punish god she is punishing herself.

Chapter 5

Jalal with anxiety asked "Hakim Sahiba, How is Begum Jodha's condition?"

Cautiously she replied "Shenshah, Jodha Begum is very weak and her pulses are dropping quickly. If you give me permission, I would like to give her some medication with water, since she is fasting I am not sure what to do, otherwise without medicine it's going to be very difficult."

Without thinking much Jalal responded "Hakim Sahiba, give her medication and water immediately and do everything you can to save her life."

Jodha was still unconscious and Jalal was standing near the window thinking about what he had done to Jodha. He recalled her innocent chirpy smile and proud face and then turned and looked back at her pale and sad face. Seeing her condition he felt stifled. His mind was constantly asking him, why is he so crazy about her? Why is he losing his self control against her? Why is he so concerned about her condition? He has so many women in his harem then why is she affecting him so much, even after her rejection? To convince himself he thought, maybe I am feeling guilty because I am responsible for her condition today; otherwise she is nothing in my life.

But again and again those same thoughts were haunting him. It was more than an hour now but he was still lost in deep thoughts. Suddenly Hakim Sahiba's fearful sound snapped him out of his thoughts, she said in fearful voice "Shenshah, Jodha begum's condition is getting worst, she has high fever and seems like she is scared or fear of something is killing her from inside...even in her unconscious condition she is shivering and her face expression changes like she has seen a ghost. If her fever doesn't go down soon then I will not be able to do much to help her. I have given her all the medicines I could... now only god can save her."

Jalal knew what fear was killing her from inside. He ordered everyone to go out of the room for a few minutes and leave them alone.

Jalal sat on the bed next to where she was sleeping, he said in sorrowful guilty tone "Jodha begum"...then he held her hand softly and continued "Please forgive me for my grave mistake... I am giving you promise, I will not touch you without your permission, I will never demand for my husband's rights." Then he softly caressed her face and continued "please trust me I will never force myself on you ever again... my anger took over my all wits... I am your husband and I promise I will protect you from everyone, even myself." Jalal could see her terrified expressions changed to calm ones after his apology...he could sense she heard his words. Seeing calmness on her face he felt relieved and for a while he forgot that he is King of Hindustan. He was only a husband then, he started to take care of her. As per hakim's instruction, he started to put cold water cloth on her head and gradually in few hours Jodha's condition started to improve.

Hakim Sahiba and Moti got really surprised seeing Jalal changing clothes and sitting next to her warily.

Three hours passed but Jalal was without a blink taking care of Jodha.

At last, her fever dropped down and she slowly became conscious and opened her eyes and saw Jalal sitting next to her. As soon her eyes laid on him, her face again got filled with extreme fear. Jalal could read terror in her eyes. He loudly said to everyone "Takhliya" (depart the tent)

Then he softly held her hand and in gentle tone with guilt he said "Don't worry Jodha begum, Hume maaf kar dijiye hamari gustakhi ke liye, Hum apne aape se bahar ho gaye the, aapke guroor...appke husn...aapke gusse ne aur humare sharab ke nashe ne humse gunah e azim karwa diya. Jitni nafrat aap hamse karti hain usse kahin zyada nafrat hum aapse karte hain, Humne aapse shadi bhi apna intkam pura karne ke liye hi ki hai, Aapne hame chunoti di thi, Mughal Shenshah ko chunoti di thi, hum bas aapko yeh dikhana chahte the ki Jalal kisi se nahi darta. Aur yeh to ab aap samaj hi chuki hongi... Par aaj hum aapse ek vaada karte hain ki aapki ijazat ke bagar hum aapko kabhi chuyenge nahi. Kisi aurat ko bina ijazat chuna gunah hai aut iski saja to allah bhi maaf na kare." (English translation for Hindi dialogues - Please forgive me for my mistake, you rejection, your beauty, your anger and my drunk condition created monster inside me and I didn't realize when I lost control over myself and was about to do Gunah E Azim. I am really sorry for what I have done to you... I promise one thing today, I will never touch you without your permission ... To touch any woman without her consent is the biggest offense, even god doesn't forgive for that sin."

She stared at him with mystified expressions. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

After a long deep sigh out he said in little grumpy tone "But the amount of hatred you hold against me, I hold double of that against you. You have dared to challenge Mughals and me and that is the only reason I have married you, to take revenge on you." He again paused briefly to see her expression... at the same time his ego was hurting for apologizing for his mistake... to hide his care and his defeat, he continued in little louder tone "Jodha begum, understand one thing very clearly, I have more than five thousand women in my harem, you are not special at all and I am not crazy about you or your beauty and by touching you I do not want to give you more importance, you will stay in a Mughal palace as my winning trophy just like a decorative display piece. You are not at all important for me. But unfortunately you are my official begum and you will have to follow all the rules with respect, otherwise no one can save you from me. You have already seen my anger once; just pray you don't have to see that again." He looked at her frustratingly for a few seconds to see her reaction then he walked out of the room. His eye expressions were mixed with pain and anger...It was clearly showing on his face that he was hurt by her rejection.

Jodha couldn't understand him and was confused, on one side he apologized and promised that he will not touch her and on the other side he threatened her. But she felt immense relief to hear that he will not touch her without her permission. The sentences that captured her heart were 'You are nothing in my life... You are nothing more than a decoration piece in my palace.'

After Jalal left, Moti came running inside the tent and started to cry warily and happily. She hugged Jodha and asked her impatiently "How you got injured on your wrist... what happened last night?"

Jodha's tears pricked out recalling that horrified moment... she told everything to Moti about what had happened, how Jalal tried to force on her, how violently he kissed her and brutally injured her while holding her wrist harshly... and then suddenly his conscious awake and he stopped it... then he apologized after that I don't remember anything.

Moti's eyes also feared with terror and tears, she hugged Jodha to give her comfort.

Moti with low tone replied "Jodha, I am so shocked to hear this because entire night Shenshah took care of you without a blink, every five minutes he was changing cold water cloth, he sat next you all night and didn't let anyone else take care of you. He seemed extremely worried and concerned for you Jodha but what you are telling me is so different, his ruthless words and act, I am so confused Jodha."

Jodha wiped Moti's tears and said "I am also very puzzled and confused with his behavior. You know in my unconscious state I was able to hear every word but was not able to move myself. He apologized to me and promised me that he will not touch me without my permission and caressed my face lovingly... he held my hand for so long to give me comfort and assurance that he is with me and then again he apologized and promised me, when I came back to my consciousness but then he also threatened me and told me ruthless words."

Moti softly replied "Jodha, I think he cares about you, why else would he take care of you personally, for entire night and apologize for his behavior and he also promised that he will not touch you unless you wish."

Jodha stopped Moti and said in harsh tone "Moti, he doesn't care about me, actually he was guilty about his own behavior, otherwise he is a Jallad (devil) ...I hate him... I will never forgive him...hum unse beinteha GHRINA karte hai... hame unka chehra bhi nahi dekhna hai . (I will never forgive him ... I hate him so much that I do not wish to see his face.)

After few hours early in the morning, Jalal sent food for Jodha and ordered maids to make sure the food is finished by her.

Jalal is in his room thinking again about why he is so much concerned for Jodha??? Why he wants to make sure she has eaten or not??? I am a king and I don't care about anyone. He himself was confused with his own behavior. All of his thoughts were wounding his ego again, he came back to reality and started thinking; I cannot bow down to Jodha like this. I have to win, I have to teach her a lesson, and I have to break her ego. She needs to know who I am.

Maid brought food to Jodha and requested her to eat now otherwise Shehenshah will get upset with her.

Jodha was surprised to hear this... Why this Jallad (devil) is trying to be nice to me?? There must be something in his mind???

Jodha arrogantly sent the food back and instructed the maid to let Jalal know that she will eat after finishing her prayer and tell Shenshah that I don't need any favors from him; I can order food for myself.

Jalal received the message from Jodha and got awfully angry; her rejection hurt his ego again, badly. How dare she disobeyed my orders, she will have to learn a lesson. He walked towards her tent fumingly and gazed at her with angry red eyes and then shouted "Jodha begum, what do you think of yourself? You are too arrogant, now it's time to teach you lesson manners; I am going to punish you for not obeying my order. Today you will not be allowed to do Kanah's pooja (prayer). This is your punishment for disrespecting me. You worry more about Kanah's pooja than my order, now you will know what Shenhshah's order means." He called and gave orders to the guards to watch Jodha begum and make sure she do not perform her Pooja, before Jodha could say even a word he walked out of her tent fumingly. This was a very big punishment for her. First time in her life she will not do kanah's pooja. So she decided not to eat or drink until she performs her pooja (prayer).

There was a big Jashn (function) and welcome celebration planned at the Agra Place for Jodha. It was a part of the customs of marriage. Rukaiya begum was happy because Jalal was coming back to Agra after many days. Jalal getting married or bringing women with him was not new to her. The only difference this time was he officially married a Rajput princess. As per his religion he could marry only 4 times in his life. Rukaiya and Jalal were best friends from their childhood. Rukaiya always loved Jalal but for Jalal she was his best friend, adviser and his chief wife. He didn't love her but she was very much important in his life. Rukaiya controlled all his begums and concubines and made sure all their needs were fulfilled. She was very good at politics and controlling power. Jalal discussed every difficult situation with her and took her advice. She was surprised when she came to know that Jalal had married Jodha officially as he never had any discussion with her.

Finally after three days of tiring journey they all reached Agra palace in the afternoon... Jodha's welcome was very grand. Palace was beautifully decorated, welcome music was going on, and bunch of Harem begums came out to see Jodha. Jodha and Jalal got blessings from elderly people for their wedding. Jodha did some of her Griha Pravesh ritual which annoyed Jalal and Mahamanga. But as Jalal had agreed on her conditions he didn't say anything...Jodha was feeling too tired, she wanted to rest since she hadn't eaten anything for 4 days now. She was deeply depressed and sad because she was not able to perform Kanah's prayer today.

Jalal kept Jodha's health condition secret from everyone, since he was at fault. When Hamida took off Jodha's Ghoonghat, she got shocked seeing her face. She also noticed bandages on her hands. She put her veil (ghoonghat) back and told everyone that Jodha begum needs to relax; she will see everyone today at the function.

Hamida knew something was not right. Something must have happened on the way. She looked at Jalal angrily with question mark on her face. Jalal was not able to see in her eyes... Seeing guilt in his eyes, Hamida decided to take Jodha to her palace.

She softly caresses on her head and asked with much care & concerns "Jodha begum, Are you all right??? Is everything okay?"

Jodha couldn't hold any more, she started crying like a small child... Hamida hugged her with love and said "I am like your mother, don't worry Jodha, I will always stay by your side. Don't feel that you are alone here. Anytime you feel sad or need something, just come to me my child."

After a brief pause she continued "I don't know what Jalal has done to you but let me tell you something, my son is not really a terrible person, he lost his father at a very young age and then he had to take care of the entire Sultanat young age... day by day he became like a stone... He has gone through a lot of tough time and many betrayals have turned him into a heartless person but I have hope that one day you will bring my Jalal back. You are a very pure hearted and innocent person. You don't want anything from Jalal, everyone around him wants something from him, I am sure one day he will realize your purity." She hugged her again and kissed on her forehead and said "God bless you my child!!!" then she gave Jodha some Jewelry and outfit for Jashn which was picked by Jalal specially for Jodha and told her that a lot of important people are coming today to attend this Jashn so relax now and get ready in three hours for the function.

Jodha gratefully thanked her, she felt much more peaceful after talking to her.

As per routine, Jalal went to see Rukaiya begum first. Rukaiya was so happy to see Jalal that her tears came out. She hugged Jalal with passion and love but somehow Jalal was still lost and couldn't respond in the same way. His respond was too dry... Something was bothering him. But suddenly he realized what he was doing and hugged Rukaiya with same passion and asked her lovingly "How are you my dear? You are looking very beautiful as usual."

Rukaiya instantly knew something was different about Jalal today. She teasingly said " Badle Badle sarkar nazar aarahe hai" (You look like a different man Jalal)

Jalal crossly replied "Rukaiya, please don't bother me, it's nothing like that, just that I am too tired."

She asked seriously "Jalal, what happened, you do not look happy to see me, are you okay? Is everything good?"

Jalal replied masking his emotions "It's just that I was missing my best friend, nothing else." They talked to her about everything but not about Jodha. He didn't want to talk about Jodha with Rukaiya but even he didn't know why he was acting this way and hiding about her. He always shared everything with Rukaiya.

Jalal was now getting ready for the Jashn but his heart was not at peace, he knew he had punished Jodha harshly, he knew how religious she is and he stopped her from doing her daily routine prayer. He was aware that it was really a very big punishment for Jodha but he was so angry at that time and whatever came in his mind he punished her with.

Jalaal went to Jodha's room to talk to her. As soon as Moti saw Jalal she walked out of the room. Jodha didn't know that Jalal was in the room. Jalal eyes laid on open backless blouse... her curvy back and spotless fair skin mesmerized him.

Jodha loudly called "Moti, where are you???

Jalal softly replied "Moti just went out."

Jodha realized Jalal's presence in her chamber, she turned to see him and at the same time she realized she was not wearing her chunni yet. She immediately grab chunni and covered herself.

Seeing Jodha's face expression Jalal smirked at her and asked "Can I help you with the dori Jodha begum?"

Jodha looked at him petulantly and replied "How dare you come in my chamber."

Jalal replied seriously "Jodha Begum, first of all, Remember... I don't like the word dare, You and your Amer has already seen my dare and second, what did you just say? 'how dare I come in you chamber' then listen; I can come to your chamber anytime I want. Maybe you are forgetting that I am your husband. Though I have promised not to touch you, but I can come here whenever I wish to and you cannot stop me."

Jodha furiously said "Aap nirlaj hai" ("You are shameless.") She took her chunni and went in to the other room.

Jalal smirked seeing her anger, he waited for her in diwan.

Jodha got ready and came out...

Seeing her Jalal said to himself 'Ya Allah!!! Khuda ne isko badi fursat se banaya hai.' (Ya Allah!!! khuda has created you with lots of patience)

Jalal while gazing said dryly "Let's go Begum Jodha."

Everyone came to Jashn area and was now waiting for the couple to arrive. Loud announcement was made and Jalal and Jodha entered the big hall where Jashn was organized, everyone got up from their chair to respect the Shenshah.

Jodha covered herself in long veil (ghoonghat). They both sat next to each other. It was a small seat for two...Jodha felt uncomfortable and hesitant sitting that close to Jalal.

Suddenly, Jalal got up from his chair and took off Jodha's veil (Ghooghat) and told her that we do not have custom for queens to put long veil and today everyone is here to see you, so there is no need to cover your face.

Jodha felt a little shy in front of everyone, she lowered her eyes. From the corner Rukaiya was watching at Jalal and his actions, she got surprised to see him changes in his behavior. He never entered in the court or Jashn with any of his queens. He took off her veil in front of everyone which surprised not only Rukaiya but everyone in the hall.

One by one, everyone gave lots of gifts and blessings to the couple. Rukaiya also came to wish Jodha and Jalal. Seeing Rukaiya Jalal got up from his chair and introduced Rukaiya to Jodha and told Jodha that she is Begum-e-Khaas, you need to learn from her all the rules and laws for begums.

Jodha sarcastically replied "Sure I would try my best to fulfill my wife's duty Shenshah."

Rukaiya had so many questions in her mind about Jodha and she glanced at Jalal with all questions?

Jalal looked at her with comfort that he will answer her questions soon?

It was time for final ritual of sweet exchange... announcement made by maulvi that Jodha begum will feed Badshah Jalaludin Mohamad.

Jodha took sweet from the plate and slowly forwarded her hand near his mouth.

Jalal held Jodha's hand and ate the entire piece while looking at her wickedly. Every one clapped and blessed the couple then another announcement made, Shenshah will feed his begum now.

After hearing this announcement, Jodha got shocked and alarmed, she was fasting and she didn't know what to do... She knew if she refuses now, Jalal will get really mad at her for insulting him in front of so many people and will punish her more but for her religion and belief comes first... she decided to fight for herself...

Jodha said in very low tone "Shenshah, I cannot eat sweet."

Jalal gazed at her with anger and told her in whisper "Don't you dare to insult me and you better don't create drama in front of people otherwise you will be very sorry for your action."

Jodha with panicky tone replied "Shenshah, you can kill me but I will not eat no matter what happens, you have punished me, not to do Krishna's puja today and I don't eat anything without Prayer. So I cannot eat today. Do whatever you want to do. I am ready for all consequence" then she stared at him with fury.

Jalal's anger boiled up, he clutched his hands to control his anger, he very well knew she will not eat at any cost; he had already experienced her stubbornness.

Everyone was waiting for Jalal to feed Jodha... Jalal got up from his chair and called up Rukaiya begum and fed her sweet. Everyone was so shocked to see this.

Jalal said looking at everyone "No matter how many times I marry, my first wife deserves this sweet." Then he announced loudly function is finished and looked back at Jodha with fuming anger and pointedly said in a thick tone "Begum Jodha, let's go, function is finished."

Seeing his fuming angry face, Jodha got shivered and without any argument she started to walk with him. They both were quietly going towards Jodha's palace. Jalal walked rapidly and Jodha tried to catch up with his pace, but due to fasting, she was feeling weak and felt like she is going to faint any moment. In low tone she said "Shehenshah" and lost her conscious, she was about to fall but Jalal cached her on time and Shouted out loud "Jodhaaa!!!!" He carried her in his arms and took her to his room and told maid to call Hakim. Jalal sprinkled some water on Jodha's face. She came back to her senses and opened her eyes and saw Jalal with awfully worried face, holding her hand. Jodha took away her hand from his hand.

Jalal asked caringly "Jodha begum, how are you feeling now? You need to drink some water and eat something, why are you punishing yourself? You have not eaten anything for 4 days."

Jodha got surprised to hear concern about her from him. She laughed cynically and snapped back at him "Oh... Heartless Shenshah is worried for his begum, don't worry I will not die that easily, you will get enough chances to take your revenge."

Jalal realized that he was showing his concern to her, so to cover-up his anxiety he replied "Jodha begum hum appna farz nibha rahe the, hamari zimmedari ko hum bakhubi samjhte hain, yahi cheez kisi bandi ke saath hoti to ham wahi karte jo abhi kar rahe hain, hum jante hai aap rajput hai itni jaldi marne valo me se nahi hai." ( "Jodha Begum I was just following my duties , I very well know about my responsibilities , if such thing had happened to any of the servants , then also I would have done the same thing which I am doing for you. I know you are a Rajput and will not die so easily... unfortunately I will have to bear your burden for long.)

Till then Hakim came and Jalal got up from the bed and waited for hakim to check Jodha.

He asked the hakim "how is she doing?"

Hakim said calmly "Shenshah, nothing to worry, she is fine but very weak. She needs to eat something soon."

Jalal knew she is not going eat until she does her prayer in the morning. It was very late and Jalal didn't want to send her back to her chamber in this state. Jalal replied "Hakim Sahiba, thank you, I will take care of her tonight."

Precap: Message arrives that Raja Bharmal and Rani Mainavati are coming to Agra for pag fere rasam.

Amazing update👏👏
Beautifully written..juSt loved it...!!!!
u doing great job👍🏼
Continue sOon...

wow- ur story has so many little tracks and things going on. I love it. This is very different kind of jodha-jalal. jalal is so complicated and i love it. thank u so much for writing this ff and thanks for the pm too. u r amazing and very creative writer.

wonderful update

superb story...
lovd it from the start...
continue soon...

loved this part
jalaal finding it difficult to hide his feelings for Jodha and jodhas stubbornness was well portrayed
looking forward to next part