Hi there, i wrote a piece on Jodha's on-going situation. This is my very first attempt and hope that you all will like it. And yeah one more thing i am new here😆
A Confusing Soul.
Under the light of the moon, there she was standing all alone. Lost in her deep thoughts, appreciating how quiet was the surrounding and hoped to find such peace in her mind as well. And yet the silence was killing her; the silence of Jalal's hatred. She was now tangled between those emotions which she can't even name. The emotions were driving her crazy; she was in conflict with herself. She knew she was fighting a lost battle against him but the worst thing was that she didn't mind losing it. These ongoing feelings in her was leading her nowhere, she felt like a lost puppy. She wanted to hate him but couldn't seem to do so, she wanted to hurt him but end up hurting herself, and she wanted to be out of his sight but always enjoyed the sight of him before her eyes.'Shahenshah...' she sighed.
In that very moment she could sense someone entering her room, she turned around and found him there. He looked tired with rough patches around his eyes. He moved forward towards his begum and asked gently 'Why haven't you slept yet, Jodha?' Him uttering her name gave her butterflies. There was nothing special about the way he speaks but his way of calling out her name always leaves an affect on her. May be it was his husky voice or the sweetness with which he takes her name or it was all Jodha's imagination. But it always makes her feel good. Flipping out of her thoughts Jodha replied a bit harshly to her very gentle husband
'It's my wish. If I don't want to sleep I won't sleep. You can't force me,'
Jalal wasn't affected by her harsh comment basically because he was now used to her unreasonable rants and taunts. He basically shuts her up by giving a top notch answer to her rants but not this time he was very tired and doesn't wanted to waste his remaining energy on her. So he replied in most civil way possible 'Okay, good night. I am going to sleep.' As he was about to leave Jodha noticed a cut on his hand. She immediately took his hand and asked worriedly 'How did you get this cut? And god you are bleeding...I should put some lep on it or else...' Jalal took his hand away from her in anger. He had been very much annoyed by her behavior lately. Her complains and taunts all the time irritates him but what irritates him the most were the sudden changes in her behavior whenever she finds him wounded.
'What's the matter with you? I am fed up Jodha by your behavior. One moment you behave as if you don't even want to see me and in another you get all worried up by seeing me wounded. I can't understand you Jodha. If you hate me so much then whyyou get so worried? Huh?'
'I am only trying to be helpful to a wounded man. My sympathies are only for a badly wounded man.'
'Well guess what I am not badly wounded, it's just a cut. And keep your sympathy to yourself. Do you really think that a man as great as me want your sympathy? I don't want your sympathy especially not after the way you talk to me.'
'Shahenshah...' What?' he shouted at her. She lowered her head and took a quick breath and said Let me just see your hand.' He got even more irritated and yelled 'Stop it Jodha. I don't want your fake concern save it for others. You know something even if you say one kind thing to me a day it can make a lot of difference but no now it seems that the only way I can see your kindness is whenever I am hurt or wounded. And if you really hate me then just plain hate me don't show sympathy just because I am hurt.' He left and went to sleep.
Jodha felt aching in her heart. She knew her fears are taking the shape of reality. She knew that her so-called wall of hatred is coming down. She knew that her feelings towards him were changing. She knew but yet a part of her still doesn't want to know. A part of her which is afraid that once she let her hatred go she might fall for the man she claimed to hate, a part which is afraid of showing her vulnerable side to the man whom she used to think was emotionless, a part of her which doesn't want to give her heart to a man whom she used to think was heartless, and mostly a part of her which is afraid of loving a man who may not love her in return. She spends day and night finding out reasons to hate him but in the end of the day she is left to nothing. She knows he made up for his every wrong deed but yet she doesn't want to let go her hatred simply because she is scared. Scared of falling as she is not sure whether the man she loves will be there to catch her. She is after all scared.
Giving her thoughts a rest, she went to her bed and lay down beside him. She looked at him for a moment then looked around. It wasn't the same; her Ameri room wasn't the same. Though it was just the way she left it but still the feeling of being there wasn't the same. She never felt as secured before for some reasons as she does now. She looked at him and moved towards him, closing the remaining gaps and gently held his hand to see the wound. She couldn't help herself. She looked at the wound, it was still bleeding. She stood up gently and got the lep and gently tendered his wound with it. After tendering his wound, she tried to sleep peacefully throwing all of her thoughts at the backseat. But in the middle of doing that she once again opened her eyes to check upon his wound and went to sleep. It was just in the moment when Jalal opened his eyes and gently smiled at her. He gazed at her as she was asleep, appreciating how beautiful and at peace she was looking. He took a long sigh as he is yet very confused about his Nakchadi-cum-lovable begum and went to sleep.
Hope you enjoy reading it...
P.S : Sorry for the spelling mistakes and other mistakes...Didn't get time to re-check it.😆
Cricket
Hindi TV Shows
