Tip off: Book your success today

The spiritual gurus are raking in the moolah big time, so is it any wonder that there are plenty of others who wouldn't mind jumping onto the bandwagon?

They say nothing sells like SRK and sex. You may as well add motivational books to the list. And the latest to hit the stands is a book called 'Jassi's Seven Steps to Success' based on Mona Singh's on-screen character in Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin.

But surely there are lots of other characters on screen who could teach us a thing or two about becoming successful in various fields? So here's looking at the small-screen characters who have a possibility of sharing shelf space with the Deepak Chopras of the world.

Smriti Irani as Tulsi Virani
A Handbook on Social Work

Tip no 1: Get a sprawling bungalow constructed - after all, charity begins at home. Besides, you need a dharmshala to provide shelter to all and sundry. But no award money for guessing where our new Tulsi will be staying, along with her friends.

Tip no 2: Always keep a glycerine bottle handy, it's not always possible to cry, and there's enough grief to be shared you know. Run to the loo every time you need the glycerine bottle and stock up bottles for future use.

Tip no 3: Take lessons in shooting - a good social worker is one who is capable of taking the law in his or her own hands when all else fails. We'll request you to recall the classic scene in which Tulsi demonstrated her excellent shooting skills by bumping off her own son. All the good people had heaved a collective sigh of relief.

Tip no 4: Ensure that your calorie intake multiplies every month. Remember Tulsi Virani's sacrifices and social work increased in direct proportion to her weight. This has an added advantage - even if you miss out on shooting classes, all you have to do is jump on to the guilty - he's sure to reach hell.

Cezzane Khan as Anurag Basu
The Positives of Polygamy

Tip no 1: You can always be mama's boy. Especially when you're in trouble with the spouse! Failed marriages, nasty wives and all your tears can also safely be put on mum's comforting shoulders. After all, she was the one who forced you into all those marriages, right?

Tip no 2: Don't forget to flaunt all those long, luxury, chauffeur-driven cars. Helps draw attention, and who said women don't like men with money?

Tip no 3: Never take off your fancy flowery shirts. Those are a must if you intend to win the polygamy award.

Tip no 4: Come what may, practice the Devdas look to perfection and remember there are no short cuts to success guys. Collect as much sympathy as you can garner and lay the ground work for the next marriage!