FOR THE NOBS (CC) MEMBERS

A BIIIIGGGG thanks to LEGALLYBLONDE21 for this one...👏...lol...she & I decided that the following is the new Bible/Geeta/Torah/Quran/Fashionista Must Have for the celeb set who are in DIRE need of our NOBS (CC)...aka Nonprofit Organization for the Benefit of Style Challenged Celebs. Currently, our clients are Mona's skirts, Rakshanda's shirts, Shilpa's choodas, & Pooja's shoe-das. 😆 Add on celebs as you wish, but please provide pictorial proof...we're a busy group, right Jas? 😉

Sid

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*If you are 20 pounds overweight, Spandex is not for you. In fact, screw it, Spandex is not for anyone. 😕

*The 80's were ugly. Anything from this decade should be burned for the greater good of mankind and our eyesight. 🤢

*Unless it's Halloween and you're going as a disco ball, all sequins and glitter should be kept to a minimum. (Note: if you are going as a disco ball, you have problems this group cannot help.) 😛

*There is no person alive who can wear the color mustard. You will not be the first. Apologies. 😆

*If your feet are crusty, ashy, or just desperately in need of a pedicure, anything open toed should immediately be regarded as a bad idea. 😉

*If you do not have the body for it, don't wear it. Don't even buy it. If you have bought it, give it to charity. 🤢

*Just because you are skinny, this does not mean you can wear anything you wish. 'Cleavage' shirts are for women who have it. So just don't. You look sad. A similar rule applies for larger women and midriff tops.

*Pick ONE item of clothing to be sexy with. If you are wearing a short skirt, wear a decent top and vice versa. If you choose to do both, I'm fairly certain we can find a wonderful street corner for you, as that is where you look like you belong. 😊

*Please women wear clothing with class. If it doesn't fit or doesn't suit you, for G-d's sake, put it back! It's tacky. The mirror does not lie. I know you think it's cute or sexy but it only looks that way on the hanger. Once you're wearing it, you will not be an object of desire, but an object of pity. 😆

Originally posted by: Sidlum

*Please women wear clothing with class. If it doesn't fit or doesn't suit you, for G-d's sake, put it back! It's tacky. The mirror does not lie. I know you think it's cute or sexy but it only looks that way on the hanger. Once you're wearing it, you will not be an object of desire, but an object of pity. 😆

OMG, sooo agreeed! I think clothign looks good on the hanger, but once i try it out, it looks disgusting! so from now on, i wear those with less tacky stuff and it looks WAY better!

and omg sidh, you are just too funny! too good yaar! 😆

Originally posted by: Sidlum

*If you do not have the body for it, don't wear it. Don't even buy it. If you have bought it, give it to charity. 🤢

Reading this part of the fashion statements reminded me of something.....in my biology class there was a girl who was sort of in the healthy side...and she used to wear shirts that never covered her entire stomach and hold your breath....she had a navel pierced😆😆...not such a cute picture🤢...and everytime she wanted to show us her piercing she would hold her guts out to show us the piercing...AGAIN...not a pretty picture😆😆😆

Sid, don't forget the hair and makeup fiasco's, not to mention accessories (do's and don'ts)!!!


NEVER, EVER use a darker lipliner over a lighter shade of lipstick, and for the love of GOD (whomever it may be for you), don't go over your natural lip line....you're not fooling anyone, and I don't care if Raveena still does it!!!

avoid oranges and tangerine shaded makeup on a general basis, there are very few who can pull it off...the same rules apply with bright red lips, cheeks, retro eyeshadows and liner...basically anything that will look dated in about 10 minutes...

As Sid said, When wearing a skimpy top, balance out the bottom so you're not vulgar (and vice versa)...the same goes for makeup: light eyes and darker lipstick, and darker lips and light eye makeup works best...overdo it on both and you may hear a knock on the door when you go out the next time!!! While we're at it, please don't overdo the base (foundation)...you don't wanna look like a mime or china doll, it's just not becoming...don't wear shades that are too light, as you will look ashen and demonic in your pix...have you ever seen a picture with an aunty who overdid the foundation? Her neck down looked fine, but her face looked demonic. Same for the neck: don't "blend" all the way down...your not body painting, your smoothing out tiny imperfections!!

Some of you may have noticed that supplies such as frizz serum, blowdryers and straightening irons are wonderful tools, so invest in them after you do your research!!!
The actress who played Maria has wisely done so and her look has changed so dramatically!!! Take a look for yourself, if you don't believe me...

Hair dye: certain shades are suited for certain complexions, what may look good on Ash, won't look flattering on Bips...be reasonable and careful.
Ditto on the haircuts!!! Keep body and face types in mind as well...

USE SUNSCREEN!!!

Beware of the coloured contacts: you BROWN for pete's sake! 'nuff said...

When accessorising or experimenting with fashion fads and trends, please keep in mind that you aren't expected to showcase you entire new wardrobe at the same time!!
Also, not everyone can carry off everything...

Avoid overkill in accessories, there have been cases when "just right" is too much!!! Think about it, there's no shame in asking your friends or changing your clothes!


Too be con't...

Sorry, I forgot: Invest in mirrors: round double-sided and full length!!

TA!!

lolz lolz lozl 😆

u grlz r soooooooo funnie yet 100000% rite

White is seldom rite after labour day...keep that in mind, not so much for the colour, more so for fabric...

there's nothing more awkward then wearing winter pieces during the summer: have you seen anyone who's worn fur (real or faux), cords or velvet pieces at a pool party?

or flip flops, transparent white cotton pants, or a bra top at a snowfight?

visible undergarments are never cool...clear bra straps aren't for everyone...invest in strapless and removable bras in black, white and nude shades...replace regularly, there's nothing ickier than an old bra, everyone knows it's old, 'cause new bras don't slip off your shoulders every 3 seconds (yes, I can see you "discreetly" pull them back up!) Victoria's semi annual sale is perfect for those cheapos out there!

Thongs are cool when your wear tight pants, panty lines are not.

No, no one wears their thong hanging out of their pants anymore, that look went out with J.Lo!

Please wear undergarments that fit, if you're not sure, ask a profession to help size you, that's what they're there for...company sizes may vary...occasionally a box of donuts increases your inch size, but not in a good way...

Don't try to add size to your bust, make the most of your bust by using different styles of brassieres: uplife, padded puship and try to stick to smooth cups, fabrics also appear unnattractive under a nice smooth blouse...keep those for sweaters and bulky clothing...

wire structured bras are though to be hazardous and have been said to increase your chances of getting breast cancer, perhaps Sid would like to embellish on this concern...

Wash nice undies with fine fabric wash, hand wash is best, for a longer shelf life...

Invest in cotton blends, easier to breathe!!!


STAY TUNED!!!

Sid, will you please add your comments as well as continue with grooming, hygiene and hair removal as a neccessity, NOT a choice? 😉

Lol..here we go:

1) Ear hair is not cute. ON EITHER GENDER. If you start seeing little sproutings even a millimeter outside of your inner ear canal, INVEST IN A TRIMMER ASAP!

2) Nose hair rules: See above.

3) A hairy upper lip is not attractive on a female. If a man wants to kiss you, he doesn't want to feel like he's kissing the neighbor's dog. Regardless of kissing necessities, hairy upper lips attract QUITE a bit of attention, ESPECIALLY if you're wearing the aforementioned cakelike foundation 53 shades lighter than your skin color as Jas said. Please. There are many options to alleviate this problem. Wax it off. Thread it off. Shave it off. Hell, HACK it off if you have to, but just get rid of it!

4) Same rules apply to unibrows..also referred to as monobrows. Eyebrows are meant to be in the PLURAL sense. As in MORE THAN ONE. Two, however, is more than enough, because having three is just a big a problem as having one. The space above the bridge of your nose is not meant to be furry. It doesn't ward off evil spirits, it's not lucky, & it sure as hell doesn't keep you warm in the winter. It just makes you look like you have a permanent scowl on your face.

5) Long hair on men is no longer the "cool" thing to do. This is NOT the 80's..it's no longer the season for mullets or Flock of Seagulls hairdos..& to be quite honest, I don't know why it ever WAS. Keep your hair neatly trimmed & PLEASE OH PLEASE don't try the side-bang (fringe) look..it just makes you look either homosexual or metrosexual..& not in the stylin' way.

6) DEODORANT. I MUST tell you. THIS is a STRICT RULE of NOBS (CC). Please, I beg of you, invest! Anti-perspirant/deodorant is a miracle worker for hot weather climates such as India & highly populous cities such as Mumbai. They come in various scents from Powder Fresh to Spring Breeze & I guarantee EITHER of those smell a lot better than B.O. When you're @ a club dancing like a maniac & flapping your arms about, & you have conveniently forgotten your anti-perspirant/deodorant, please check all 360 degrees around you as your stank may have knocked all of the people in your vicinity unconscious. I will personally get NOBS (CC) to airdrop complimentary cans & sticks of Secret, Sure, Degree, Old Spice, Teletubbies, Sesame Street, WHATEVER brand of deodorant you prefer..just pinky swear that you'll use it!

7) I reiterate Jas's pantyline requisite. Thongs are your friend. Especially when you're in a** tight white pants & are about to be flashed like crazy by paparazzi. Please make sure your thong fits, however. Side flab is NOT adorable when it hangs out over the top.

8) Dirt under your fingernails is neither hygenic or pleasant to look at. If you can't afford a manicure, please make sure you can afford a nail cutter. And if you CAN afford a manicure but are prone to dirty nails, please don't choose a pale pink color or some such..the dirt still shows.

Jas..it's all you girl.. 😉

Siddhi

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