OS: Sajna Aa Bhi Jaa

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neiralove

@neiralove

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#51

Originally posted by: metoyou
Pyaari Didi bohot mushkil se mil jaati hai 😳

I know It's like banging your head on a wall

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@metoyou

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#52

Originally posted by: neiralove

I know It's like banging your head on a wall

And saying things like this makes it so much easier to find her 😳

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neiralove

@neiralove

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#53

Originally posted by: metoyou

And saying things like this makes it so much easier to find her 😳

Toh aur kya karoon?! She doesn't want to be found 😔

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@metoyou

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#54

Originally posted by: neiralove

Toh aur kya karoon?! She doesn't want to be found 😔

Matlab you don't want it dil se...warna you wouldn't have given up so soon and easily

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neiralove

@neiralove

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#55

Originally posted by: metoyou

Matlab you don't want it dil se...warna you wouldn't have given up so soon and easily

Agar kuch sache dil se chate ho toh voh zaroor mil jata hai 😳

And I'm not giving up, I just have the confidence now that you'll write 😳

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@metoyou

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#56

Over confidence can be dangerous 😳

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Mansur Khan

@MansurKhan56

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#57

This O.S was so awesome and very emotional👏

Ragini POV was perfectly described and wonderfully scripted.

Ragini's emotions, her confusion, her love for Nachiket were heart felt and outstanding.

The way she was feeling for Nachiket and how bad she missed him and what the second marriage meant for her.

The song selection was very sweet and lovely. Superb😊

In short I am totally speechless but i cannot resist myself without posting few favorite lines of one particular paragraph as i so loved it👏👏👏

Nachiket had changed so much from the image she used to have of him. His flirty nature was now only meant for her. Yes, even as a married man he could still flirt with her in a way which would make her go all red of shyness. He had this different kind of love in him which would overwhelm her every single time. He made her feel alive, he made her feel worthy for someone. And she did her best to give that love back to him; she loved to dress up with nice matching bangles to go with her saree, her payal (he just loved the sound of it) and her hair open. He didn't like her to see with a bun, it made her look old he had said once. This was all cute and lovely😃😊

a tear fell down from her left eye right in the palm of her hand. The touch of the cold drop brought her back to reality. She looked at her hands where the tear had dropped; it was right on the spot where the N' was designed. Emotionally Perfect👏

Thank you so much for writing such a masterpiece Nargis👏 Five star rating for it⭐️

Nargis you were doubting yourself😲😲 woh bhi ap😕😕 Please don't! Because we all know that you are the best and the example to prove is my Favorite Joyride😊

Waise Joyride kab update hoga. Itna karaye na hum sabko intezaar😆

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neiralove

@neiralove

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#58

Originally posted by: metoyou
Over confidence can be dangerous 😳

Toh protect me like a good Didi and don't let my confidence break 😳

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ShyNomad

@ShyNomad

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#59

Loved this so much, will be back later with more worthy feedback 👏

Ok updated:

Nargesss

This was sooo good (I think I used phenomenal earlier)

You were able to illustrate Ragini's thoughts and insecurities so beautifully, so many things that she has been through as a wife, a single mother, and now a wife once again in this sham of a marriage.

She had always thought Nishi was her little princess, but her daughter proved her wrong by accusing her of taking away her happiness. Ragini was not shattered then nor broken; she was just nothing. In her own eyes she had become a big failure; a good for nothing mother.

Truly one of the worst things for a devoted mother to go through - to fight to provide everything for her children and then watch them be unhappy, and then on top of that be blamed for their unhappiness 😭

He had this different kind of love in him which would overwhelm her every single time. He made her feel alive, he made her feel worthy for someone. And she did her best to give that love back to him; she loved to dress up with nice matching bangles to go with her saree, her payal (he just loved the sound of it) and her hair open. He didn't like her to see with a bun, it made her look old he had said once. Only if he knew that in the years after she would carry that old look' every single day.

Ok seriously stop breaking my heart with this, she is just a shell of who she used to be 💔

She missed his eyes which always conveyed a silent message; she missed his voice whispering that it will be fine. She missed his lips which would sooth her entire body. She missed his strong arms which would hold her in his embrace and wherein her worries would go. Nothing of that was left and it was during moments like this that she missed him the most...

This is out of order but I forgot to mention my other favorite part... of course at some point there is only so much she can handle on her own with no one to lean on.

..but the moment she would close the door of her bedroom, she would became a different woman. She wouldn't be Ragini the mother or the daughter, but his Ragini. This was the only time she would allow herself to cry it all out. No fake smiles, no fear of hurting people, just she and his memories. She couldn't exactly remember when she had slept peacefully. Often her sleep would get disturbed by the feel of his presence. She had dreamed about him a lot; how he would kiss her forehead after she had dozed off before he could even lie in bed, how he used to take care of her when she would fall sick, and of course, how they would cuddle the night away after making love.

She needed him to be at home waiting for her after a long day of work, she wanted him next to her in bed on a lazy Sunday morning, she wanted him to make the kids understand whenever they wouldn't listen to her, she wanted to see him spending time with Nani, she wanted to take away his stress after a surgery, she wanted him for her own selfish reason. He was the only one she had given permission to touch her, and he could do that in such a way and on such spots which were even unknown to her...

Have no words for this 😭

And the hope at the end, with them reaching out for each other for comfort in the middle of the night, expressing what they are themselves unable to say...just beautiful.

Truly this is one my favorite stories I have read here, thank you for sharing. ❤️

Now I want MORE

Edited by ShyNomad - 9 years ago

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@metoyou

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#60

Originally posted by: MansurKhan56

This O.S was so awesome and very emotional👏

Ragini POV was perfectly described and wonderfully scripted.

Ragini's emotions, her confusion, her love for Nachiket were heart felt and outstanding.

The way she was feeling for Nachiket and how bad she missed him and what the second marriage meant for her.

The song selection was very sweet and lovely. Superb😊

In short I am totally speechless but i cannot resist myself without posting few favorite lines of one particular paragraph as i so loved it👏👏👏

Nachiket had changed so much from the image she used to have of him. His flirty nature was now only meant for her. Yes, even as a married man he could still flirt with her in a way which would make her go all red of shyness. He had this different kind of love in him which would overwhelm her every single time. He made her feel alive, he made her feel worthy for someone. And she did her best to give that love back to him; she loved to dress up with nice matching bangles to go with her saree, her payal (he just loved the sound of it) and her hair open. He didn't like her to see with a bun, it made her look old he had said once. This was all cute and lovely😃😊

a tear fell down from her left eye right in the palm of her hand. The touch of the cold drop brought her back to reality. She looked at her hands where the tear had dropped; it was right on the spot where the N' was designed. Emotionally Perfect👏

Thank you so much for writing such a masterpiece Nargis👏 Five star rating for it⭐️

Nargis you were doubting yourself😲😲 woh bhi ap😕😕 Please don't! Because we all know that you are the best and the example to prove is my Favorite Joyride😊

Waise Joyride kab update hoga. Itna karaye na hum sabko intezaar😆

Wow Mansur, thank you so so so much for your lovely detailed comment. Makes me happy you liked it 😃 Haan even I can doubt myself and trust me, I did with this one! It will always be a challenge to write an OS but the kind of motivation and support I get from you all is really touching 😳

Joyride will be updated too soon!

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OS: Sajna Aa Bhi Jaa - Page 6

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