Hello all,
I am new to this show and this forum, but I wanted to share my thoughts regarding this sometimes infuriating couple. The time leap has left everyone trying to fill in holes with actual logic and characterization - this is my humble attempt. Thank you to all for inspiring me with your thoughtful discussions and fiction (that I can now comment on!) This is my first attempt with this show so constructive criticism is welcome. Also, please excuse my Hindi (but feel free to correct it) as I have very little real life experience with "filmy" dialogue :)
This was inspired by the song "The Starting Line" by Keane, which has some beautiful lyrics very appropriate for this couple. I am unable to post a link but it's easy to find on Youtube.
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Drag your heart up (to the starting line)
Forget the ghosts that make you old before your time
She lay in bed, the moonlight spilling through the window her only companion. Many of the others had retired downstairs to cooler quarters and she envied their sound sleep. But there was more to her restlessness than the oppressive blanket of heat settling in around her.
Ragini had always prided herself on doing what she felt was right, despite the personal cost it may have. It was sometimes a foolish trait, and her mother had often despaired that she was too stubborn to realize the consequences of those actions. Ziddi kahin ki.
She was no stranger to denying her heart - these past 16 years had taught her there were more important things than her whims and wishes. But the guilt, that was new.
She would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb to not realize how he looked at her. Despite being gifted at talking himself out of many sticky situations, he had always said the most with his eyes. It was hard to miss his appreciative gaze marking her as his own, regardless of who else was in the room. It didn't help that when she met his eyes she sometimes forgot there was anyone else.
He still wanted her. Ragini knew, from the way he teased her and growled at her, how he would get close enough to just almost brush his stubble against her cheek, denying her the satisfaction.
But it wasn't the physical emptiness that was keeping her up these past few nights. It was the pain in those eyes that surfaced every time Aman's name was uttered.
She had not forgotten how it felt to watch Nachiket in the arms of another woman, to watch someone else trail their fingers up the nape of his neck, to watch him smile after a soft whisper into his ear.
Even though she was the one who had given him up all those years ago (for good reason, for good reason, the thought echoed) her heart had ached. No one could make her feel the way he did. She would never feel that way again.
And then it had happened. Miracle of all miracles, they had found their way back to each other. She had felt like a giddy teenager again, hanging on his every word, his reassurances a balm to her battered heart. She had tried to convey her regret through every caress, her kisses lingering as if to make up for lost time. He had tipped her chin up until she was looking into his eyes. Aur dukh nahin, he had said. Itne saal - bahut ho gaya.
And her cheeks had ached from so much happiness.
Then she had seen her son, who had once come to her for every scraped knee and every fight with Nishi, hold a gun (his slender fingers barely looped around the trigger) up to his trembling jaw because he couldn't see any other solution to his problems. Because the world had denied him everything he had ever wished for. She had denied him.
And Nachiket - he had lied to her, even when she knew as a mother that it would all be too much, that Aarav needed her. She had lashed out at him, grief and rage warping the man she saw in front of her.
She knew now that it must have hurt him deeply. This father who had stayed up nights nursing Aarav and Aagam through ear infections (they were always two of a kind), who loved all of his children, even one that wasn't his.
But they were experts in wielding distance as both a weapon and a shield. It was as if a part of her, not yet healed, had always expected he would leave. And when Aman asked for her hand (yet again), she agreed, believing she was finally making a choice that was right for her and her family.
She and Nachiket had failed as parents. Their feelings were still resilient after all these years, but then so was Sisyphus, eternally pushing a rock to the top of a mountain, only to have it roll back down under its own weight.
Punishment from the gods.
Still, the guilt ate away at her. Was she trying to punish him for Aarav? The blame went both ways. She wasn't sure what made her flaunt her relationship with Aman in front of him. Ziddi kahin ki.
In truth, there was nothing there besides a solid friendship. Nachiket of all people knew that. Aman would never make her blood boil from passion or anger. She would never whisper his name in desperation or contentment. But she knew that didn't stop the pain of watching their chapter being closed forever.
The seconds continued to tick away and she sighed, no closer to peace or sleep. He would be gone again soon and memories were a poor substitute. But here in the darkness, they were all she had.
THE END
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
