Anjali and her "Mere Liye"

In my re-watching saga of IPK episodes during Sheep games, I discovered that Anjali has used this Mere Liye card on so many occasions to compel Arnav to do things for Khushi or with Khushi.

(I understand her love for her Chote and how she feels happy about it)

That makes sense if you look at her change of behaviour when the truth about Shyam came out for the first time.

That was the first time, Arnav without any probing from Anjali, listened to Khushi.

I know, for Anjali it is hard to believe that Shyam can do something wrong especially to her. Other than missing from home frequently for a period of time, that too 3 months ago, he did not give her a reason to not to believe him.

So, my questions are

1. Did Anjali really think Arnav is just refusing to do things for Khushi/with Khushi just because he doesn't believe in rituals and he doesn't know how to be romantic?

2. Did she really think she can continue playing Mere liye to make Arnav and Khushi live with each other?

3. What did she think about the open display of Arnav's affection towards Khushi before their run away wedding? That was completely different from what he displayed after that run away wedding.

PS: Am I making sense? X-

Cheers..

Hey! Very interesting read :)

I often think Anjali saw (correctly) that her brother had these emotions but he didn't know how to express them. Like he had difficulty in letting go of the past because he used that as a shield and that actually affected him negatively. So she often used the 'mere liye' as a push. And it's not always bad :)

Anjali does not realise how much of the past has affected her though!

1. Anjali sees that her brother doesn't compromise to an extent where it hurts another person. So she often thinks it's a little push that he needs to do something that will make his own relationships better. Of course that is not how relationships work, but she feels responsible for making relationships around her better. She attempts to do the communication between Arnav and Khushi.

2. Ooh for this one I'm not exactly getting the context where and when you're referring to.

3. Anjali was very happy. She had hopes that this relationship was going where it needed to be. And she wanted to make Arnav aware of the fact that he has been behaving differently. Also she had seen that Arnav is more himself around Khushi and his expressiveness, dancing, laughing - all of it was coming back with more Khushi was involved in his life :) It was all that she hoped and more.

Ah you know I thought a lot why Anjali didn't ponder further on why Arnav behaved so differently when he was being so affectionate a a day ago. And then I realised that Anjali purposely does not see into things when she's afraid what answers might lie there. She just chooses to firmly believe that Arnav loves Khushi and there are no major issues. So she tries to resolve it by putting them in Heer Ranjha, Holi, Honeymoon and so on. Cause ideally bringing couples together is the best way to get rid of differences. Even when she read the letter where Khushi literally wrote that there can be no fairytale if one is married to Arnav, Anjali dissuades herself and chooses to believe it's just marital arguments. And I think that's a spill from her trauma. She doesn't want to confront situations that break relationships - be it her own marriage or her brother's.

Lol hope I made sense!

Best,

S <3

Wow! I never really thought much about Anjali and her "Mere liye"s...until now. Loved reading both, yours and IPodcastKKND's views on this topic!

Well, Anjali used the "Mere liye" card knowing fully well that her Chote will never say no to her for anything when she uses it, no matter how absurd her demand is. So I guess, it's her last resort.

Regarding your questions, here are my 2 cents -

1) Anjali knows Arnav loves Khushi but probably doesn't know how to express it in a way Khushi would want him to. Plus she has seen the two at loggerheads on multiple occasions after their wedding. So maybe she tries to make him do things for/with Khushi in an attempt to bring them close. Also, I feel she has a preconceived notion about how a married couple should be and maybe she's trying to adjust them in that mold, especially Arnav, because he doesn't like taking the traditional route.

2) I am also not sure which particular instance are you referring to? Is that before the reveal?

3) Anjali loved Khushi and realizing her Chote has started falling for Khushi must have taken her to seventh heaven. She knows Arnav is very caring & protective about the people he cares for. So his open display of affection towards Khushi must have definitely made her very happy. Post wedding, the initial few days were spent in being mad at Arnav & Khushi for their runaway wedding. Later too, Arnav's cutting words and brute behavior towards Khushi was only in private. Anjali has mostly seen them in the lovey dovey mode. e.g. feeding Kheer, Holi, etc. I think she started noticing the cracks only around the Shaitaan Sundari episode.

For question two what I meant was, Anjali is a great advocate of Saanse rukh jane wali love. According to her, that is what she feels for Shyam and that is what Shyam feels for her. In that love you just trust your partner and believe nothing can go wrong or nothing will go wrong.

The way Anjali was keeping Arnav and Khushi together with her Mere Liyes, I believe, she doesn't think they share Saanse rukh jane wali love.

If Arnav is not married, she would still have advocated about that special love. But now that they are married, my question is was she planning to keep them together by using Mere Liye and goli maar to saanse rukh jaane wali love?

I know I did not say all this when I posted the question.😲

Thank you for your replies to the other questions.🤗

I will get back to you on them later.

Cheers..

Originally posted by: Savera84

For question two what I meant was, Anjali is a great advocate of Saanse rukh jane wali love. According to her, that is what she feels for Shyam and that is what Shyam feels for her. In that love you just trust your partner and believe nothing can go wrong or nothing will go wrong.

The way Anjali was keeping Arnav and Khushi together with her Mere Liyes, I believe, she doesn't think they share Saanse rukh jane wali love.

If Arnav is not married, she would still have advocated about that special love. But now that they are married, my question is was she planning to keep them together by using Mere Liye and goli maar to saanse rukh jaane wali love?

I know I did not say all this when I posted the question.😲

Thank you for your replies to the other questions.🤗

I will get back to you on them later.

Cheers..

Hmmm....I feel her "Saanse rukh jaayegi" theory is different from her "Mere liye"s.

Her Mere Liye is only to convince Arnav to do her bidding. I do believe Anjali knew that Arnav loved Khushi, but she just wanted him to express it more, I guess?

Not sure if I am making sense LOL!

Love this post! I always found Anjali to be a perfect picture of the pretty, sanskari, and perfect yet spoilt rich daughter. A lot of her "mere liye" to each family member, especially Arnav. It stems from everyone doing their best to make sure she's happy, and she recognizes that aspect.

I think one of the defining trait in Anjali is her closing her eyes towards anything that breaks her picture perfect world. She doesn't want to question why Shyam is absent for days even before Shyam was staying at Bua ji's house. He is absent in the beginning of the show and it's insinuated that his unavailability is a very usual thing.

Same thing with her take on Payal and Akash's relationship. She pushes Akash towards expressing his feelings without pushing for a proper answer from him. She does the same when she tries to push Arnav and Lavanya together during their first break up. She doesn't want ugly answers. She wants things to go to a picture perfect state.

to answer your questions;

1, I am guessing you're talking about the elopement instead of the rituals in the second marriage. I think she maintains the assumption that Arnav isn't traditionally romantic because even after seeing them with kheer, and holi, she seems them fighting a lot as well and her little probe to Khushi during swami track about how Arnav shies away from love and sweetness gives us a glimpse into how she is still thinking that much of her Chotte is the same even though he's stopped giving her answers. Her need to believe that a lot of Arnav is the same as it was before marriage definitely makes her use "mere liye" in moments where she asks for him to do things with Khushi just for her sake.

2, spilling in from the first question to the second, I think here 'mere leye' persists with Arnav regarding him and Khushi because she wants to think she has the same place in Arnav's life as she did before elopement. Arnav is a person who doesn't care for anyone outside of his family. He's quite rude and obnoxious. Anjali knows this very well and she cherishes that her arrogant and absurdly blunt brother treats her with the utmost importance. Whenever she meddles into his relationship whether it was with lavanya or with khushi, she tries to play a fairy godmother with the assumption that her word will be the word to sway Arnav. To answer your question, from Anjali's perspective she thinks here "mere leye" has an undue importance. But as viewers we see that its not her words that persuade Arnav. It's his fear that everyone will the cracks in his and Khushi's relationship.

3, I think alongside others, Anjali has an inkling that all was not well between Arnav and Khushi post their elopement. I don't think she witnessed Arnav and Khushi's romantic moments before the marriage, but she did witness a lot of nuanced changes in Arnav's attitude and his attentiveness to Khushi. As someone who adored Khushi, I think Anjali was more excited about having a bigger role in Arnav's love story. She didn't like it when Arnav didn't let her make decisions about him and Lavanya. Anjali thinks that with Khushi, it'll be different because Khushi always chooses families' words and needs over other things. There are a lot of dynamics at play with Khushi being a reason of Arnav's interest.

With the elopement, not only is Anjali kicked out of something she was enjoying being a part of, but she feels like she's pushed to a curb by Arnav. She wasn't told about anything. She wasn't given any heads up and then Arnav refuses to answer any questions about his marriage to Khushi to her until its very very late.

As much as Anjali is self involved, she also does love her brother in her own way. She does want him to be happy, so her seeing their small moments especially at Holi gives her some form of assurance that at least Arnav made a decision he isn't regretting. I think a lot of her sadness and curtness came from the fact that she was forced to recognize that she didn't have the place in Arnav's life she thought she had. She tries to avoid that thought despite knowing it. She doesn't voice it out until after her abortion attempt.

to conclude, I think Anjali's "mere leye" starts from a place of her sweetly trying to get what she wants, and slowly moves into the grey area of manipulating situations, and then towards her trying to find an assurance of occupying the same mother-sister pedestal Arnav has placed her onto.

Loved reading S and Cheers2all's thoughts above! It's so exciting that even after al these years we get to talk about the complexity of the characters!

What I felt was, most of the times, Anjali doesn't put two and two together. Her maths is different.

If you take the very first episode, during her conversation on the stage, Anjali asked Arnav "What are you doing in Lucknow?"

In the next episode, she sweetly told him that she asked for a mannat in a particular Dargah in Lucknow and he has to visit it.

Back to the current mere liyes.

Before Arnav and Khushi's contract marriage, Khushi already proved that 1.She can stand up for herself - Khushi came all the way to Arnav's house and handed over her resignation in front of the whole family and told her reasons for the resignation on Arnav's face.

2. She can play pranks on Arnav - Changed his phone's ring tone, poured Mango juice in his shoes etc,.

3. She can make Arnav do things for his family's happiness - She made him to reverse his decision about Akash and Payal's Sangeeth. She made him to come down and help in Diwali preparations. She tricked him to come down and light Diya on Janmashtami

4. She can also make Arnav laugh and enjoy - She made him laugh just before Nainital trip and during Didi tera jetji deewana dance.

Arnav proved that

1. He can let Khushi take liberties with him - He did not mind Khushi kissing him in front of his family.

2. Khushi's safety and health were important to him - Rushing off to LN when they took longer than usual to return and his concern when she fainted on the same day proves that.

3. He can learn things from Khushi - Anjali herself said on couple of occasions that the words recited by Arnav can't be his. Implying that he learnt them from Khushi.

4. He can do anything for Khushi - Dancing with her in front of the world when Khushi's friend ditched her. Last but not the least, forgetting his own non beliefs in rituals, he married Khushi in a temple.

I do know that, in an arranged marriage, bride and groom don't interact much before marriage, so, the family tries to push them towards each other.

Here Arnav and Khushi not only interacted a lot before marriage but, also proved that communication is not an issue between them.

Even after the marriage, Arnav wore a white shirt (as per the tradition) on Holi and applied gulal on Khushi on his own.

Anjali's mere liyes are mostly the result of Shyam's instigations, which Anjali never realised.

Thank you for all the comments.

I know Anjali is a sensitive subject. Feel free to post your comments, if you are OK with it.

Cheers..

ladies i must say that the way how civil discourse on this forum is gives me a bit of whiplash because i can't imagine same atmosphere from 2011-2015 on this place!

Originally posted by: Savera84

What I felt was, most of the times, Anjali doesn't put two and two together. Her maths is different.

If you take the very first episode, during her conversation on the stage, Anjali asked Arnav "What are you doing in Lucknow?"

In the next episode, she sweetly told him that she asked for a mannat in a particular Dargah in Lucknow and he has to visit it.

Back to the current mere liyes.

Before Arnav and Khushi's contract marriage, Khushi already proved that 1.She can stand up for herself - Khushi came all the way to Arnav's house and handed over her resignation in front of the whole family and told her reasons for the resignation on Arnav's face.

2. She can play pranks on Arnav - Changed his phone's ring tone, poured Mango juice in his shoes etc,.

3. She can make Arnav do things for his family's happiness - She made him to reverse his decision about Akash and Payal's Sangeeth. She made him to come down and help in Diwali preparations. She tricked him to come down and light Diya on Janmashtami

4. She can also make Arnav laugh and enjoy - She made him laugh just before Nainital trip and during Didi tera jetji deewana dance.

Arnav proved that

1. He can let Khushi take liberties with him - He did not mind Khushi kissing him in front of his family.

2. Khushi's safety and health were important to him - Rushing off to LN when they took longer than usual to return and his concern when she fainted on the same day proves that.

3. He can learn things from Khushi - Anjali herself said on couple of occasions that the words recited by Arnav can't be his. Implying that he learnt them from Khushi.

4. He can do anything for Khushi - Dancing with her in front of the world when Khushi's friend ditched her. Last but not the least, forgetting his own non beliefs in rituals, he married Khushi in a temple.

I do know that, in an arranged marriage, bride and groom don't interact much before marriage, so, the family tries to push them towards each other.

Here Arnav and Khushi not only interacted a lot before marriage but, also proved that communication is not an issue between them.

Even after the marriage, Arnav wore a white shirt (as per the tradition) on Holi and applied gulal on Khushi on his own.

Anjali's mere liyes are mostly the result of Shyam's instigations, which Anjali never realised.

Thank you for all the comments.

I know Anjali is a sensitive subject. Feel free to post your comments, if you are OK with it.

Cheers..

@bold; there are definitely a lot of instances where especially after their marriage, a lot of Anjali's responses come provoked from Shyam but we shouldn't ignore that Shyam pushes the buttons that are already there!

like you said in the earlier half, anjali's math doesn't add up. I think it's quite literally because she shuts her eyes to things she doesn't want to hear or want answers to.

hope more people add in their thoughts about the characters. Anjali was an interesting figure and much of the character is interpreted differently by different people.

I can't say much as I've no energy ..

Sorry..not feeling well ..

Anjali was a sweet character ..I always loved her part in bringing Arnav n Khushi near to each other .. Sometimes by sending Arnav to where she has already sent Khushi ..

She used NK card n we saw a jealous Arnav...

But afterwards ,CVs turned this cute character into a pathetic one ... But it was for a short period ..We saw her enthusiasm on Arshi's remarriage n her agony when Arnav couldn't reach the mandap ..