Do you believe in magic?' Dadaji had asked me when I was ten years old, his smile mischievous underneath the stark white beard and his eyes gleaming with laughter as he watched my wide eyes nod as though in a trance as he pulled out a coin from behind my right ear and waved his hands before my amazed eyes and then suddenly reached behind him in a swift motion and soon I found my eyes trained on something glimmering beautifully around my neck, a moon shaped pendant was nestled against my bony chest, I looked up at him with a toothy smile and asked him how he did that. Magic my butterfly, magic' he said and winked.
My hand reached out clutching at the pendant desperately as my eyes wandered over the green hills outside the window sill that I sat perched upon, my shoulders slumped and weary as though I had endured a life time of toil.
I glanced at the half open boxes all around me, the room strewn with clothes and piles of books, all waiting to be packed. I rubbed my fingers over my dark, tired eyes. I hadn't slept properly during the past few days. In two days I would be leaving, emptying the room of these boxes and also my presence. The walls would be blank, except for the few pieces of tape left over from all the photographs that I would soon have to pull out and pack. I glanced briefly at the vast colours adorning the walls and the multitude of pictures summarizing this four year journey, my eyes misted as they fell upon several smiling faces that would soon be a distant memory bound only by occasional phone calls and some messages. My heart staggered a little as they fell upon a pair of dark brown laughing eyes, quickly looking away, I reached for the boxes once again, I did not have to make this more difficult.
Pacing across the room, I picked up the clothes, books, some magazines and several letters, I packed them all neatly in separate cartons, pushing in the clothes to make space for others when a bunch of shells strew together on a brown string, forming something like a charm bracelet fell out of one of the pockets.
We sat over the rocks, our legs dangling and reaching down to the softly caress the current across the silent humming lake. He sat there laughing at the rest of them trying to set up a picnic mat, yelling at each other and trying to keep the mat down against the unsettling wind. Can you believe we won't be rolling our eyes at these idiots in a few days, Khush?' he asked, his eyes lost and his smile cleverly masking the slightly broken voice. I silently let my fingers slide between his and smiled at the silly voices floating all around us. He looked at me with a sad smile, his eyes almost misty yet trying so hard to look cheerful, he reached into his pocket and pulled out something before sliding it gently through my fingers. I looked down at the charm bracelet, the different colours of the shells reflecting the multitude of memories he had sprinkled each say so obliviously. I looked up at him, his eyes still rested upon my hand, his fingers carefully lacing through the different shells. On our class trip to Goa, I had bought a similar bracelet with fewer colours and I lost it on our journey back, I almost cried since it was supposed to represent a memory and my eyes fell in love with it as soon as I caught a glimpse of it in the old vendors hands, he had remembered something so small, he hadn't forgotten the sadness which engulfed me as we stood outside the campus and my eyes fell upon my empty wrist, he had remembered. Thank you' I whispered, no knowing what more to say as I blinked back a few tears and let my head rest against his shoulder.
Wiping away a stray tear, I continued packing, gathering dusty boxes from the topmost shelf in an attempt to distract my tired mind. My phone rang, the tune snapping me out of my reverie, Khushi, come by the Deans office in half an hour, we need to collect our certificates' Lavanya's voice rang out urgently.
We walked in silence underneath the whispering trees after collecting all the documents, the others had gone back to look into last minute chores. Sitting by the quiet lake beneath the cloudy trembling sky, we had no words. My mind felt numb with pain as brief flashes of several moments crossed my eyes, clutching the file close, I closed my eyes as I remembered each silly song we had shared, the way he smirked and completed the lyrics to almost every song that I forgot, the constant presence of him each time I felt pushed into a wall, be it the endless assignments, projects or even the torture I put myself through by watching the F.R.I.E.N.D.S finale all over again, he had been there watching over, bearing my endless rants and teasing me with his sarcastic comments and wit making each difficult time seem so much lighter. Sitting beside him in class, dragging him each time to the canteen during break while I stuffed numerous samosas into my mouth and watching him smile each day, somehow all these moments that slipped by sneakily without us noticing now seemed to weigh down my sorrowed heart, making it impossible to walk away. The thought of everything coming to an end saddened me but not seeing him each day almost made me stop breathing. I slowly looked across at him; he sat there with his hands over his eyes, his elbows digging into his knees and his dark hair falling softly upon his forehead. My eyes turned moist and I quietly bowed my head, closing my eyes as I just wished I could turn back time and relive each precious moment and this time capture it in a way that it won't pass by. His fingers slowly held my trembling hands as a silent tear fell traitorously upon his hand which now enclosed mine.
Khush' he whispered, I did not dare look up, too afraid of what he would see within my eyes. Gently placing his fingers below my chin he watched my eyes dissolve into a pool, Khush, I'm going to miss you...so much' he said, his voice trembling as his brown eyes turned golden and moist underneath the faint sunlight, I felt tears streaking down my face as I watched his eyes follow their trail before sighing and leaning his forehead against mine. We stayed like that, as though frozen within a painting for a while, too afraid to shatter this moment, until he suddenly laughed, a few tears escaping his sad eyes while he mumbled Now where am I going to get my daily overdose of drama from'. Punching him lightly, I chuckled, an ugly sound masking tears and a whirlpool of raging emotions. As he slowly moved his head away, his sweater caught onto the pendant on my neck, the half moon sneakily resting against the knit fabric. Smiling down at me he glimpsed at the fading light behind my eyes, the dark shadows and trembling smile disguising something so bleak, he looked intently at our fingers tangled together and my tear stained face before softly kissing my cheek, his lips resting against my moist tears and then slowly in a moment so precious and celestial, I forgot to breathe as his lips gently brushed across mine. Do you believe in magic?' I heard somewhere within my heart as I slowly closed my eyes.
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