I NEED MY KHUSHI BACK

Prologue

Regret was filling in every single nerve of Arnav Singh Raizada. He looked through the closed glass door of the Intensive Care Unit. There was the girl...the girl he swore not to love...the girl who was the source of this guilt...the girl who was married to him six months ago...the girl whom he thought was an irritation...the girl who unknown to him had started making him fall in love...the girl who always tried to blend into his lifestyle...the girl who had by now unknowingly became his addiction...the girl whom he pushed down the stair almost 24 hours ago...the girl who was injured all over her body with glass pieces...the girl who was completely smeared in her own blood...the very same girl who proclaimed her unconditional love for him once again just before she closed her eyes...

"Khushi..." His heart, an organ about which he was unknown in him, called out for her. The doctors said that they were doing all they could. Then why in hell was there no progress. They said he could pray...to whom?? To that idol who always stood smiling at every dreadful misery that had happened to him...to everyone??? Kidding me are you???? If that idol had some love to those who worshiped it, then Khushi would not be suffering now. In fact, she would have been living happily.

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Arnav went inside the ICU when the doctors said she was calling out for him. He felt someone twitching his new-found heart painfully slow. After all that he did...after pushing her down over to the tea table...she was calling out for him. Did she love him so much...was he that ignorant to not notice it. May be he was...

He saw her face. It thankfully had not much bruises...just some scratches here and there. Her face was so pale...still so serene. He looked at her body. There were bandaged all around leaning very less spaces in between. Her arms and legs were saved since the table was small. He took hold of her palm...

"Khushi"

He saw her respond immediately to his call. She opened her eyes slowly looking at him...her eyes still held that warmth in it.

"Arnavji"

He felt terrible at that. That smile on her face was still on her face...the same smile that tagged along with his name. It was just a bit light because of the pain she is undergoing right now.

"Khushi I'm sorry...I'm terribly sorry" Arnav cried...for the first time after twelve long years...for the first time after he lost his mother.

"Arnavji don't cry...It's me who should be sorry...for irritating you...for being childish...for marrying you and..."

She stopped feeling Arnav's finger on her lips.

"Don't you dare say sorry? Khushi...you...Khushi I love you...and I need you in my life...back as my old Khushi..."

"Don't try so hard Arnavji...you don't need to act so much. I mean...I...I'm fine with the truth. You don't love and that's fine. I know I'm not going to be out of this...and...I'm fine with it..." Khushi was finding it hard. The physical pain was totally out of bearing and the pain of hiding her sorrow was overpowering it...making it all difficult for her to talk. But she had to do this. She couldn't let him live in this guilt forever.

"Arnavji...Thank you...I never expected something like this. You called my name lovingly...you cried for me...it is all more than enough for me. Now all I need is a promise...a promise that...you would not ever think that you are responsible for my death...that you would move on...move on with a girl whom you would love..."

Arnav's cried hard at every single word of her. He saw a lone tear rolling down her eye as she said the last part... "That you would move on...move on with a girl whom you would love..." He couldn't control anymore.

"Khushi, I...I'm not trying to act...I truly love you...I know you can't believe it...but trust me the moment I saw you all covered in blood...I did not know what came over me. I went totally crazy...I shouted at the doctors when they said it was hard to save you. It was then...when I felt that I'm losing you I came to know that I did fall for you...Khushi I need you back...to hug me close saying that I'm your teddy...to care for me...to chose my clothes...to support me when something goes wrong...I need you badly Khushi...Please fight back..."

Khushi looked at him. Her Arnavji confessed his love for her...she could now die peacefully...

"Thank you" Khushi mouthed which was Arnav's last strand of control...he was about to rush out of the room when he felt a tug on his palm. He looked back to see Khushi looking at him hopefully...he bent down and pressed his lips on her forehead and then her slightly parted lips letting his lips linger there a bit long before he pulled back...

"Fight back Khushi..." And he rushed out leaving her who laid there with a small smile on her lips.

Arnav breathed hard as he leaned over to the wall. He cried...cried so hard that every single person on the corridor looked at him sympathetically. He wondered how he never cared her nervousness around him...her blushes when he was looking at her a bit longer than usual. But now when he cares, he feared if this was the end...If only he was a bit more attentive to her...if only he did not push her with that force...if only he...

************

That Dreadful Day

Arnav was waiting outside the ICU when his phone rang...it was his Di from India. He didn't want to hurt her now...he won't tell her anything now.

"Hello Di" He said in his usual tone.

"Chotte, where is Khushi? I need to talk to her...pass the phone." Anjali ordered from the other side desperately wanting to say the good news to her bhabhi. Arnav gulped thinking for an excuse.

"Khushi is in the washroom Di. What do you want to tell her?" Arnav said trying to control his tears.

"Washroom...now...Hmmm Chotte are you ok? I mean this is not the way you talk about Khushi...this soft tone...this doesn't digest. Is something wrong? Is Khushi ok?" Anjali asked concerned about her brother and his wife.

"Nothing is wrong Di...why did you call?"

"Ahhh actually Chotte, Akaash is in love." Anjali said. "And we are going to the girl's house tomorrow"

Arnav sighed. Khushi had made a very special place in everyone's heart. She was a granddaughter to his Nani, a fashion instructor to Mami, a daughter for his Maama, a sister to his Di and Jeejaji, a best friend to his cousin Akaash and the best Mami for Ananya...and the best wife for me.

"Di is that it?" He asked.

"Uff Chotte, I knew you would react like this. Is Khushi not out yet...I'll talk to her."

"Ok...that's it...Di she's not out yet. I'll inform her about the news...ok bye" And he switched his phone off.

Arnav placed his face in his palms. The doctor's said that Khushi was fighting back. And he knew she was doing it for him.

He closed his eyes when that dreadful evening passed though his mind.

**********

Arnav rushed out of his cabin to his car. He just got a call from Khushi that there is some intruder in their house and she was scared. He reached home and opened the door to find his house all decorated with glass stands inside which there were small red lights. He saw teddy bears with heart signs over its chest on the couch around the tea table. He climbed up the stairs to see nylon cloth red in colour flying all around.

"Happy Valentine's Day Arnavji" He heard Khushi's voice and he felt rage rushing though his veins. Was this all a joke for her? He was here leaving his important meeting and she was wishing him some cheesy day. He saw he near him and held her arm and shook her fiercely.

"What do you think all this is? I've said you many times not to irritate me. Stop with your childish act Khushi. I'm fed up. Is this a joke for you? I'm here leaving my project worth lakhs and you were here playing with me? What do you think you are? You think you would do all cheesy stuff and I would love you...never...I hate you Khushi...HATE YOU SO MUCH"

Khushi flinched at his rage. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at him. He left her near the railing and walked forward.

"From the day I married you, all I had were losses. I had said Di a thousand times not to send you with me. But what use?"

He turned back and rushed to her holding onto her arms again.

"You might have had your way with my family. But Khushi, I'm really sorry to say...you can never make me fall in that trap. If you think that doing all these things you can win me...then let me tell you, you so CANNOT. Because...I H.A.T.E. Y.O.U...I SO HATE YOU KHUSHI. I don't really understand why you do this."

And he pushed her back and turned to walk away. In his rage he did not see a nylon cloth behind her onto which she had stepped when he pushed. She slipped over it and fell backward down onto the small tea table made of glass.

"Arnavji..."

Her loud shriek stopped him and the shattering of glass made him look back. He rushed to the railing and looked down only to look the other way terrified. The scene that he saw downstairs was horrific. He ran downstairs and went near Khushi. She was all soaked in blood. He turned her around to see all her body pierced with shreds of glasses. He felt his life sucked out at the moment. Her face just had some bruised as her legs and arms. But the major damage was done to her chest and abdomen. Her white ankle length Anarkali was now totally red in colour...especially her chest and abdomen. He patted her face when she opened her eyes. She placed her palm filled with blood on his cheek. Tears rolled down his eyes when she smiled at him in that state...

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ARNAVJI" And her eyes closed.

"Khushi...Khushi...open your eyes...Khushi..." He rushed her to the hospital. All the while in the car...he had her head against his chest...every now and then he kissed her on her head. He was crying...he now knew why he felt scared when she called him that evening. He was scared to see her in any harm...he wanted to protect her from all evils...because he loved her. She had in some or the other time...made a place in his heart, mind and soul...that would be left vacant if she...

**********

No...nothing would happen to her. He would not let anything harm her. He wanted her in his life at any cost. If that meant he had to fold his palms in front of that idol...he would.

Arnav walked to the small temple in the hospital with decisions made.

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