Blast from the Past Thread #24 ** Golgappa Times ** p 113, ep 246 - Page 103

Originally posted by: salooni

bye bye

i think worst edit of my

Originally posted by: DurgaS

Disclaimer: Please do not copy my work anywhere. If you do, please give credit.

Episodes 233 - 239

Moments caught in time

He may be the great, business magnate, Arnav Singh Raizada

But even he can't deny or decline the invite of the Guptas

A dance around the colours to reach his in-laws' place

And inch closer and closer to the heart of a pretty face

A moment caught in time, a moment wanting to stay

How they wished, this moment would never go away

Owner of a chain of industries, but still couldn't escape

Peeping aunties, a flirting granny, barging into his cave

An impromptu muh dikhai, full of temple kiss and cheek pulls

With blessings for a life of togetherness, their hearts are full

A moment caught in time, a moment wanting to stay

How they wished, this moment would never go away

A powerful AC takes the power out of the locality

An invasion of mosquitoes puts his sleep in jeopardy

A pink mosquito net and also something else that he'd never seen

The night introduced to him, his beautiful taekwondo queen

A moment caught in time, a moment wanting to stay

How he wished, this moment would never go away

A plan to hassle him while facing wrestling neighbours

Winces down as he displays a drill quite dexterous

A sudden realisation of her man's varied facets

Hassling something inside with the touch of sprinkling droplets

A moment caught in time, a moment wanting to stay

How she wished, this moment would never go away

A public bath, a public fight and a car with missing parts

An Italian brunch for the unfamiliar bunch, winning their golden hearts

A treat from the street, to cool the heat from the tiff that had ensued

Golgappas galore, the folks are floored and quite spiced up are the two

A moment caught in time, a moment wanting to stay

How they wished, this moment would never go away

A sudden change of things, the place is a wedding scene

A bewildered son-in-law, confused with all the praising

A glance into moments that were missing from their wedding times

Unveiling the bride, flower shower from the sky and some blissful smiles

Moments caught in time, moments wanting to stay

How they wished, these moments would never go away

DurgaS's Index

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 243

arnav ji takes care of his own... he is the best pati in the world... her voice echoes in him, around him.

he wakes up...

a poignant scene as a man ponders his action, possibly feeling terribly trapped. a tenderness for the woman who sleeps beside him fearless of consequences seems to come over him.

indi your conscious is always clear when you are right and you sleep always like that.

her voice in his ear, his heart, his inner spaces that have been lying dark and untouched for so long... 👏👏he can't bear to see me in tears... he never lets me do anything by myself...

"arnav ji duniya ke sabse achhe pati hain..." arnav ji is the best husband in the world.

he stands at the window looking out... a habit to look outside, escape the clutch of four walls. this is what he does at home too, at the french windows he stands and gazes at the water, at the sky... out... there out there somewhere lie the answers maybe... a thinking man, an intelligent man, in a quandary like he had never expected in his life.

sleep in his eyes, he stands wide awake.

the crescendo of voices return, this time he hears his mother in law, the lady he calls aunty and cannot bring himself to call mother, but whom he has grown to respect and like and who treats him with understanding, tenderness.he knows a mother's heart is sensing things and feeling discomfort. maybe arnav singh raizada doesn't like this part of this conundrum too... an upset mother is never a part of his plans, though that is what this plan of his has wrought.

Yes and especially Arnav knows and feels it to the core of his heart and he did register this moment very deeply ,that's why he opened Khushi's eyes later what will u tell to ur parents , a lie so lets play a truth game and find the witnesses for the desolation of our marriage.

"devi maiyya tum dono ko hamesha..." may devi maiyya always.
the atheist feels the yearning in a mother's words, she invokes what she believes in the most to bless her child and him with happiness forever.👏

the sound layers and what the director chooses to show are interesting, like the visual layers in flashbacks... it says things about what he reacts to, how he reacts, why he does what he does. the night of 15 february, valentine's day still at ipk, when he had screamed into the night, also a carefully chosen audio file. now too.

he is extremely moved by the conversation between a mother and her daughter.

rabba ve...

she turns and shivers under her blanket.

he comes sensing something, sees her and switches off the airconditioner. a simple act... but it shows perhaps what many larger gestures and gifts wouldn't.

you can feel the love all around... too bad neither have figured it out, or it's gotten hijacked by a night.

as he lies back he has made a decision, he looks at her. he wants to hold her hand. i get palpitation even typing that... so much in the performance.

This is the most poignant moment of IPK and in his life towards the biggest decision of his life ...not letting her go.

i had felt earlier that the beast lay night after night next to beauty and seemed to ask, will you marry me?👏👏

this is the man who perhaps as he had walked up to her on the verandah just outside had hoped to be the best pati one day only for her, only because she had made him want such a thing even. when he said bas karni hai, maybe he had felt a joy he never ever had and wanted to express it with his characteristic cool sexiness, playing with her, teasing, flirting, stealing a kiss and somewhere in the middle of that they would find and take over hamesha.

A lighter and loving Arnav still wants to Karni hai...his incomplete talk...which will finish but at far distance...
in his smiles, seen very rarely, and usually because this girl who is a bit crazy has set it off, he seemed to give hint of what all fantastic dreams lay in his heart. the one that beat with hers.

arnav singh raizada is not the best pati in the world and that does hurt him.

his way of trying to deal with the conflicting demands of the situation is to go gentle on her it seems, just let her be, stop berating and bashing her, and maybe in this his heart finds a little peace, a little happiness. and so we find a suddenly more tender man that moment on.

After this storm he will be...soft and tender for his Khushi for forever

of course, this is around the time that writers decide to assassinate their favourite girl and leave her maimed for life. sanka is a superior, fine, perfectly distilled and matured in huge vats of feeling of life and character thing.

what was unleashed on us from the moment her eyes opened was not that at all, it was a clear indication that human beings were no longer in control.aliens had taken over.

"hum bhag na jaaye iss dar sa pakadke rakha hai hume..." so that i don't run away he is holding my hand. yes, he is worried because you may get abducted by creatures with three eyes and horns, green in colour who have made off with the writers, silly.

That shows the shattered dreams of a girl with no trust...

she tries to free her hand... he wakes up startled... "khushi!" on his lips. for a second all seems normal again. i feel my heart go into tremors.

once he was up, the game started again. she must not know what he is feeling, ah the guarded one. not too trusting of people and love... she gets no answer as to why "maine band kiya!" the ac.

as he leaves he turns, music lilts... palat palat ... ddlj moments everywhere.

always ...to show his tenderness, to see his effect on her

from my first time here in this episode, i prepare myself, okay she is going to lose it now and so will we with that "ar 36 k". ah, so many speculations on the forum, in crooner, everywhere back then. alas the writer was just playing with us and trying to please aliens.

a little detail about the man, he has bad hand writing, why does this excite me? on the other side of lunacy, mami is chasing ghosts with binocs and book... how about garlic and cross, mami ji, let's make this into twilight, what say.

Acc to graphology , hand writing tells you about the personality and his hand writing tells he is hard to read and keeps everyone away from him...he is intelligent and aggressive and very private and hard to understand.

thankfully, a voice to bring me back

"khushi!!"

why must every call sound so terribly sexy and like he needs her from deep inside.

"aur haan, tumhara kaam ho gaya ho toh meri diary wapis rakh dena..." and if you're done with it, please keep back my diary in its place. so terriby sweet. he knows she is messing with his stuff, but he is okay with it... progress progress..

Love him giving her space...he knows she is upto something for the next round to solve her riddle...Cute Arnav

i think that is all i can take of this episode.

one thing only really moved me... that waking up, getting up, standing at the window and pondering... then turning, assessing, taking a decision of some sort and coming back to his wife. duniya ke sabse achhe pai is not really an aspiration for him. he does what he does because this girl makes his heart race, she matters. he hurts her, loves her, craves her, berates her, wants her not for some trophy but because that is all he can do... she is part of him. he is tired of resisting and he really does not want to be a nasty terror to her... he wants to pull her dupatta and kiss her on the cheek, wants to push back her tendrils, wants to catch her in his arms and swing her high, wants to tell her something, bas karni hai, wants to hold her hand. ⭐️👏

i was always touched by something going on at ipk that was deeper than what you saw on the screen... anyone watching diwali will feel the thick layered thing in it... it pulls at your gut, your most physical instinct, your heart, your brain, your mind, the emotional... almost the spiritual plane in you... and then goes ahead invading and entering spaces in you that i didn't even know existed.

this happened with me often while watching. the entire night scene was humming with the heard unheard whispered murmured conversations.

wrote this on my facebook page yesterday when i posted these edits.

i am aware that in still shots sometimes you can capture a moment that seems to have much more than what it does in reality. but in ipkknd as they moved about often doing pretty regular serial stuff, somehow there was always a deeper unseen level that you could feel all the time. another conversation, something that murmurs and whispers in you even when you are trying hard not to let it effect you. loved it.

indi if u think deeply in your real life sometimes this moment just makes you halt and you stop thinking all the negativity and go by the flow by looking at different angle...and forgiveness really maks you light and relaxed and he slept after that like a baby...holding the hand of new decision ,new life, waiting for new morning.

Originally posted by: sohara

Episode-241

Arnav is in convulsion remembering khushi's distraught countenance at her friend's query about her wedding. His memory goes back to the tempestuous wedding night, where he coerced her for the six months contract marriage. He bereaved her dream of her perfect dream wedding. He feels like a stranded ship, lost in a turbulence of emotions from where he couldn't save himself and there was no one else to draw comfort from. His heart constricts with scorching pain for the girl, whom he abomiantes for having an affair with her brother in law, who told him to leave his wife, his di.

This makes me sad ...as he is fighting within so much these days...to put his Khushi at the testing stand he is burning his feet every time to feel the pain ...take the pain

When he was fighting with his tumultuous thought, Bua comes there to give him his file what he left outside. But Arnav can't find another important file. He thinks Khushi must've hid it; his naughty wife can do any antics to trouble him. He looks for it everywhere in the room and finally finds the peeping file inside his laptop bag. His visage suffuses with an apologetic expression for suspecting Khushi unnecessarily. But can't blame him either, his menacing, naughty's wife's previous record compels him to suspect her. Or moreover his whole life style has become topsy turvy in GH. Because of the wedding there is a complete anarchy in the house. I can't believe that fastidious and martinet ASR is coping up with this mess.

He is in mess but didn't you see he is saving a wedding of a girl which he couldn't do for his Di , but he was young and now the story is different..he can change destiny except his own or his di

As his mood becomes well again another glittery peeping thing makes him flagrant again. He gets the peeping sparkling gift wrap from the drawer.

"pagal"

A derisive smile glints his face to see the used wrapping paper saved so carefully. But his smile turned to a conflagration when he reads the card pasted on the wrap,

"to Khushi

With love

From Shyam"

His whole countenance grapples with pure loathing and undisguised anger, his nose flares and his breath gets raspy, as he crumples the gift wrap in between his hand. Tremor runs inside his vein. The sheer intensity of rancor leaves him momentarily disoriented. Rage, pain, misery and betrayal twist his very being shredding him to gruesome merciless pieces. A raising inferno inside him wants to burn everything in it's wake now. He must be thinking, their relationship was so deep that shyam gave her gift and could write the letter love, or Khushi must loved shyam so much that she saved it as a token of his love. The air around him shuddered uncontrollably with intense, pure, unadulterated grief and undecipherable anger,.

Did u see a BIG change...he is not acting like a brother or thinking even..Anjali is out only name is left...the stage has been set ..now he is crumbling in LOVE ,in jealousy , in his possessiveness...He wants his own name on that wrapper...instead of Shyam ...His embrace over his Khushi is killing him

Pause: I was terribly frustrated when I first saw the episode. Instead of fixing the MU, the cvs created new MU. Who the hell keep used gift wrap? I think it was bua who kept it. We know, shyam's camaraderie with her. And she was the culprit who coerced Khushi to marry that nefarious man. I can't forget, how she blackmailed that poor girl to marry that devil!...Awww Soha, so sweet of you and yes it was Buaji who always keeps and asks Khushi to keep too..Shyam's s tuff

The groom of Preetika has arrived with his obnoxious mama-mami. Nandini introduces them with Khushi's family, who are more than relatives to her. But dulha's uncle and aunt are not happy with the poor arrangement of the sangeet in small Gupta house. They accuse them for not hiring a big hall for the sangeet. bua says with acquiescence, they will take care of them well. Mama starts his taunt by looking at the small house,

"small colony, so house should be small."

He is not liking that his nephew is marrying a small town girl. Khushi tries to make him understand that it's more fun in small place, so that they all can sit cozily and having a group chat, rather scattering all over the place in a big hall. They get more upset when Khushi serves them juice in steel glass. Khushi deftly retorts them, glass can be broken and anybody can get hurt. She thinks the new relationship should be strong like steel. Bua anticipates their irritation, so she tells Khushi to keep shut and amma tells her to go inside. Bua tells the groom's family that her niece recently got married. Groom's mama banters them,, "in this small house!"

Even Buaji tells Khushi to be shhh but that scene shows me after living with Arnav, Khushi is grasping the strength more and more and one day she will tell Arnav...aapke saath rehte rehte hum bhi apni kismat likhna seekh chuke hain...I love yur description about Khushi and same is Arnav doing later but he is hitting the target..the husband...the boy who should be strong in this case...and that makes Khushi again realize what she has to to...ASK the source...Arnav the reason of their marriage.

I wish if they would've known she got married his nephew's boss who is one of the richest guy in town.

It's time for groom's mami to show her meanness, she thinks they gave dulhan very light jewelry. Bua tries to alleviate the bitter mood of the groom's family, she suggests the girls to start the sangeet ceremony.

Khushi comes to call Arnav for the sangeet. But he is in no mood to do fun. Moreover seeing khushi there the fire of retribution starts to burn bright inside him. Repercussion goes back to the terrace scene again, where he found Khushi in Shyam's embrace. Khushi's words of telling Shyam to leave Anjali echo in his eardrums. His inside cringes with abhorrence for the swindler, immoral girl who is now standing in front of him. All of his wounds become raw and bleeding again. Seeing his angry state Khushi anticipates something is wrong. She asks him in tremulous voice, what's wrong! Arnav hobbles fast towards her, intends to say something. But the shrill drum beats can't let him speak.

I wish if he could blurt out everything what he buried inside his heart since the wedding night.

This all is building up for the storm

Khushi misinterprets his anger, she thinks because of her earlier convo with her friends about the wedding made him angry. That's obviously not the reason, he turns around in frustration. A glimmer of steel slowly enters his eyes, he tells her sternly to leave him alone. She still insists him, what's her fault if her friends wanted to know about her wedding. Her words incite the vendetta inside him. He turns towards her and holds her upper arms vehemently and says her scathingly, unable to hide the rapidly mushrooming loathe in his voice.

"god damn! Isse pehele ki mai kuch kardoo dafa ho jao yahase." He grabs her hand and wants to make her out from his sight. Khushi squirms in pain, she feels as if he would throttle her with his bare hands. Inhaling sharply his abhorrence, she opens her quivering lips to retort,

His love and hate is mixing now...he has learned how many times he has proven wrong..in Khushi's case since from the beginning...heer ranjha night ,seethi bros, calling Khushi thief etc...and now he is controlling his anger and doesn't want to burn Khushi with his anger which he always does and then feels guilty

"bas aisa bata dijiye, yeh meherbani kiyu."

He is about to say about Shyam, but the knock on the door inhibits him. uff not again! The cvs wanted to prolong this MU more.

Amma comes there to call them. khushi goes outside, but Arnav shows reticence to come. Amma asks him is he well? He tries to pretend that he is fine. He can't hurt her family because of Khushi, they are such caring and loving people.

The sangeet is going on in full swing. Granny is dancing and Khushi is serving snacks and sweets to everybody. Such a serendipitous girl she is! There must be a debacle going inside her right now, but still she is smiling, trying to do her duty to please everybody. Khushi's friends tease her why jijaji is not coming. Groom's highhanded family get a chance to taunt them again, why their lofty son in law is not coming out, he is supercilious and haughty and all. Their nephew got promoted in a big company but still so down to earth. Bua can't bear the insinuation of her favorite babua, so she goes inside to call him. The shallow groom's family are now complaining about the heat, if they would've hired a big hall then they wouldn't have suffered like this. They want to know are the wedding is taking place in a big hall or not. Nandini assures them with supplication that the wedding will be in a community hall for sure.

Gosh never saw such obnoxious people in my life. I also didn't get it whythe groom's family is greater than the bride's family. Why bride's family has to show reverence to them?

Awww Soha..living in US has indeed changed us in many ways...and you new generation has no clue what are these customs doing in our culture back there ...

In the kitchen Khushi is cooking something. She looks pensive, Arnav's misdemeanor ravaged her soul. She is also upset to see groom's family's meanness. Bua comes and asks Khushi did anything happen between her and Arnav? Cause he refused to come outside. khushi tries to avert her, tells her to leave it, he has lots of work, so that he can't join them. Nandini comes there also to ask bua where she kept groom's sherwani. The sherwani is in Khushi's room, so they have to disturb damadji again.

Yes as her own marriage didn't happen the way she wanted so she wants the best for her friend.She is way broken now innerly and all of these are going to tie up for suicide..

Arnav is getting prepared to leave GH. He is in so much resentment that staying with the swindler girl in this messed up place is impossible now. While he was telling Aman to send his car, bua and nandini come there and asks meekly his permission to enter. Bua gets groom's sherwani and passes it to Nandini. Nandini is in tizzy whether groom's family likes it or not. Amma and groom's mami also come there. mami is not happy with groom's gift. She insults them again, if they would've known that they are so poor, then her family would've spent for the whole wedding. Amma tries to avert her, she tells her to have dinner. Mami banters, they arranged dinner also! Bua pretends to be jovial; "the food is so delicious that you have to suck your finger." Arnav exasperates to hear that shallow woman's tiff.

He comes out to see who these haughty people are! I think he recognizes the groom, so to confirm it he calls Aman to find out which AR employee is getting married in recent days.

I was glad to see his smart and clever nature so he did remember [idk] his employ and capture him red handed...

Groom's mama is complaining about the melted ice cream. Khushi says in a quick repartee, if he gets so hot in anger then the ice cream must melt. If he relaxes, the ice cream will not melt.

khushi andar jao and get another ice cream." Arnav intervenes. He introduces himself, "I'm Arnav, khushi's husband.'

Mama jeers him that finally he came out. He tells Arnav to teach his wife how to talk with elders. Without arguing he tells him grimly,

"Koshish karoonga"

Khushi enrages to hear him.

Arnav leaves the place to receive Aman's call. When he was leaving, his eyes go to the crestfallen bride. What he thought? He couldn't see the injustice to the girl, the insult of her family. Where he sees something wrong, he always tries to fix that. after that tempestuous night of his parent's death, he experienced so many hurdles. He saw how people oppressed the weak, deprive the unprivileged.👏

just explained above but he didn't like others to humiliate his wife also..

Determination glints his eyes to teach the groom and his family a lesson. Khushi also follows him in the room. She will not spare him for scolding her in front of so many people. Arnav admonishes her not to confront him or speak to him right now. Remnant of his earlier anger still simmers in his eyes. He doesn't want to create any scene in this situation. He doesn't even want to see her face. khushi also doesn't want to see him, But she also can't let it go. She starts to argue, how he was supporting them. Their fight gets interrupted when Arnav eyes fells on the groom, talking on the phone. He again tells khushi with gritted teeth to leave, but khushi is obstinate, she misunderstand Arnav. she thinks he is also like them, rich, supercilious and obnoxious. She herself will handle the situation now.

Arnav comes towards the groom. He hears that he got fired from the job. The guy gets surprised to see him. Arnav introduces himself that he is his former boss and he fired him, cause he is not eligible to be his employee. The qualities what he seeks in his staffs are, the wish to work hard, the ability to work and thirdly say his words without any inhibition. Arnav thinks he has none of those qualities. Until he learns to respect his wife and her family, he is not needed in his company.

I wish we can have more of these kind of bosses...😆

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clNY_OVEAgQ[/YOUTUBE]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clNY_OVEAgQ

credit goes to Coldy

plz ignore typos

Originally posted by: indi52

for a few moments, there was only heaven and earth and a feeling beyond time, a whole space in itself.

he would have to watch her jump and kill herself. she would jump, no matter how crazy she sounds, how disoriented and how flimsy her reason, a sudden fixation about lavanya and him now... but she would do it. he knew right from the moment she said all sorts of khushi things and left home that something was amiss...

chaliye arnav singh raizada, humne aap ko maaf kardiya... on hearing that, the comic sfx crow crowed, the handsome upright brow puckered further.

and he said what he had been feeling since her sweet wife attack began, "what the..?"

she looked shimmery eyed and satisfied... manna had come to her before she embraced death... his "what the". boundless dopeyness with frowning thinking gorgeousness that shall not be bound... what a perfect few minutes, even though i am aaargh about the ishtory.

but that flirty "go on, i forgive you "might have given him the weirdest warning signal. then he went to the room to find the biggest hint that all was not well, her stars were gone... and that letter... she is going to become a star she declared there, of course a bright and beautiful one. he possibly almost stopped breathing then...

but he is never one to sit still and let things happen. the episode changed rhythm and feel. urgency, desperation, panic entered. signs of a feeling all.

he knows what this is all about, but where is she... he must act... and he must think... sanity comes from that. he had acted the night he had thought he would finally go crazy. and now too, he is out of the house in seconds, thinking, and running... the warning bells are ringing wildly in him... where is she. call her. ah, she receives the call...

and she is where?

she instructs him to move so she doesn't fall on him.

what?

he turns, looks up...
horrified, phone still at ear, he yells out to... life. "khushi!"

helpless, he is staring up, horror going through his head.

she is in a frenzied hyped state, she knows she is moments away from death...

don't move!!! stay there...

he is frantic, i am coming!... main aa raha hoon!

i am beginning to pick his panic. thin plot, small six inch screen on comp, repeat viewing... still i a feel the panic.

"lo... inhinka kaam kar rahe hain aur humey rok rahen hain..." see, i am doing his work and he is stopping me.

top shot of man running up stairs two steps at a time. contrast that with silly nonesense talk from wife, slowly pondering jumping off. the discordant note sets up its own crazy pitch, he is running, jumping over things, panicking he might be too late.

and they are on a terrace together once more.

"khushi!!!!" hand reaching out trying to stop her. will his reach fall short? how will he live if it does? he has tried his best to survive his mother killing herself... but khushi?

"what the hell are you doing... uttro neeche abhi!" get down instantly, his anger is here fueled by fear and panic.

"dekhiye paas mat aayie verna hum kud jaayenge!" don't come near me, or else i'll jump.

is this fair? if dragging her to a temple was wrong, is this also not that? yet, nowhere, not even once do we see this thought about later. and for all his rave and rant and music with swagger, he is the sweetest lover on earth... he never ever tells her what happened to him as he saw her standing on the ledge, never berated her for putting him through that.

"okkay okkay relax, main agey nahin aaonga! par kyun kud jaaogi tum? what's wrong with you?"

the negotiator... that movie comes to mind... keep talking, keep the person engaged. an intelligent man, his dimag to the fore, dil kept aside, to get the work done.

she says he is after her since yesterday to kill her.

"khushi, aisa kuch nahin hai!" there's nothing like that. just look at the actor, i can feel his every fear.

"paas mat aaiye!" don't come near... yes she is in that fey space, not quite here. again, seriously good understanding of the moment.

"main aagey nahin aaonga... breathe..." hand up, hot concentrated stare... (of course, at "breathe" one viewer has stopped breathing. she is shallow. her heart just fell off the ledge.)

"ab saans lene ka abhyaas karne se kya fayda..." what's the point of doing breathing exercises now... dialogue writer is on a spree.

"okay take care, dammit!" as she almost falls off.

she is talking gibberish... "waise hum dar nahin rahe hain..." smiles... he is responding to every word move breath, eyes desperate, wondering how to get her off.

feeling things, breaking...

yeah, you had to get him to a place like this for him to erupt and at last let someone know what his "chot" was... the really larger than life ones have a spot within so tender, it is a blessing to be in their hearts... and when that spot aches... that chot... no one will understand, for they only see the strong big man, and no one really wants to see a strong one's crying place, makes us uneasy... we want heroes... bulletproof... invincible.

on a terrace he saw disillusionment and got his chot.

i am wondering how much he is hurting aching angry desperate crazy now, how is he holding up.

but he is a task focused man... thank g for that... his mind is working. like his gussa, it's his dimag that has kept him going, nurtured him through hell.

she won't haunt him... nor lavanya ji... music is khushi style loopy... rhetoric and prosody lessons from college i recall... to highlight an emotion, a counterpoint is being used... there is nothing funny or cute about what is going on, just the opposite.

"lavanya ki baat kahaan se aa gayi?" huh! lavanya! asr is confounded.

"arey, wahi toh hai aapka asli gulaab." oh, she is your real rose. "matlab... asli pyaar," your real love. she is sad.

"aur hum... kaanta," she is the thorn.

"gulab... kanta... what the hell are you saying?" stop sounding so hot, your wife is about to jump for botanical issues... there is a bizarre craziness here which is pretty classic, weird me is thinking.

the kundli conundrum is revealed.

what? kundli? but he doesn't believe in such things. but it's true. never. it is.

"kyunki jo tum samajh rahi ho woh sach nahin hai..." what you are thinking is not the truth. nice. and we come to the whole issue of truth again. what he saw that night... he believes that is true. what she surmises about lavanya, she believes that is also the truth.

long time back a clever serial said... the truth is out there. the x files. and maybe the truth is really in mars or venus or the aliens have abducted it... for it is nowhere in what they think.

it is however absolutely there in what they feel.

"yeh sach nahin hai."

"sach hai."

what is "sach" really?

she has heard him talk to lavanya and come to a conclusion... just as he has seen her with shyam and come to his.

he cannot convince her now. and she will not be able to convince him soon.

similar situation, one handled with seriousness and drama, the other with lightness and melodrama.

both hurt the observer. almost as much.

marte hue insaan se jhoot nahin bolte. you don't lie to soemone who is about to die. this has goe=ne on too long. and death is not chhay mahine ke liye... okay?

"arrey aapko toh taarey mil bhi gaye," oh you have found the stars...

he couldn't let go... he ran with everything.

tense moments.

at last what is transpiring seems to reach khushi... she is looking at the man she loves one last time, and he at her...

you could have asked me once, then without asking any questions i would have moved out of your way... never occurs to her that she never was in the way... if he wanted la he could have had her.

in front of his eyes, khushi will jump... she almost does...

he is concentrating, he knows what he has to do... but surely he worries, what if he misses.

finally, he says,

"khushi, main lavanya se pyaar nahin karta,"... i don't love lavanya.

"and i think kabhi karta bhi nahin tha..." i don't think i ever did love her. how can you even think that.

and i will repeat this only once, i did not want to marry lavanya, and this is not the reason why i married you.

then tell me why did you marry me? why?

he struggles... too painful to bring these words to his lips. beauty of it is she has no idea, he has no idea that she has no idea... where is sach, go find it.

"aap unse pyaar karte hain... aur, hum..." you love her, and i...

the most beautiful pause in a crazy girl's tirade. yeah, you love him... and he, though you don't know, loves you. he stays silent, you talk nonstop... the hurt is so huge in both.

at the pause, this silent long stare by the one who dare not believe a word she says and so wants to...

a man and a woman stand looking at each other... the ridiculousness of the situation is overshadowed by the timeless question in both eyes... who are you to me, who am i to you... what ties us, what tears us asunder... this is not the truth. this is the truth.

a music refrain raju singh composed thinking what i don't know, but feeling all the right things, seems to hold the two together always

the ballad of asr and khushi plays out in sound and light... she is leaning against him as they dance, trusting, believing.

he is going to kiss er, it is diwali, asr can never forget.

oh you did kiss me by that pool, my first kiss ever and you were the one.

rabba vey touches the space between them as they stand, on on the ledge, the other on level ground.

the car screeched, the rain fell in cascades, i came and picked you out of harms way, i could never let you go... not even then.

your hand in mine i walked you out of the circle of lights... diwali... so much in that dark dark night.

do you know how lovely you look when you smile, i love to see you laughing, though you don't love me.

i put the payal on your ankle, did you tie me to yourself with it, why can't i let you go even though you hurt me so, you who are having an affair.

i remember your gentleness in a room far away, holding me, and so it is you i must run to when i need someone strong and always mine..

i couldn't hold you, but i wanted to soothe you, put my hand on your head and promise, i am here. hamesha.

but now it is time. "hum theek hai. hum taiyaar hai." i am fine. i am ready.

he watched her without talking, without moving.

a conversation was had by forces beyond either, the powerful instinct within us, which asserts itself when our rational selves trip up...

she looked back at him one last time... he had never looked more helpless.

as she turned away...

he remembered their first meeting... everything welled up it seemed within him.

she had fallen into his arms...

she turned only to recall how she had run to him at the hospital.

he was ready, he was lunging forward, he couldn't let her go... neither dil nor dimaag could stand and watch while she did this.

a crescendo of shots and feelings and music. an end point arriving.

she closed her eyes... and most poignantly and tellingly khushi recalled a man marrying her. her man, arnav ji. the shadi that hurt her, the shadi that made her feel loved.

he lunged. she fell forward.

a scream. all went black.

he had caught her in his arms and fallen back onto the terrace floor.

how he held her said what his lips couldn't. there was too much hurt, too many emotions for that.

he had fallen with her like that and lain with her just the day before, hadn't he? under a shower of petals...

she realised where she was and began to struggle... he pushed her off...

anger pain madness in him mixing, whirling, a tornado catching speed.

fantastic direction... he walked away from her, back turned... the emotional upheaval arousing resentment.

camera work changed. another critical juncture had been reached on the road to eternity.

what the hell were you thinking!

he was going to tell her...

"maine yeh sab lavanya ke vajah se nahin kiya... okay?" i didn't do all this because of lavanya, okay!!

"jhoot mat boliye..." still child like, angry. don't lie!

"main jhoot nahin bol raha hoon..." i am not lying.

then tell me why did you marry me.

memories of the other terrace in the dark... here in broad daylight. claustrophobic, maddening.

"har pal yeh sawal hume khata rehta hai..." every moment, this question eats into me.

he remembers what eats at him.

"hume sach jaanne ka poora haq hai." i have every right to know the truth.

he is shaking with anger as she says "chhor dijiye anjali ji ko..."

a million memories of shyam and her, in fragments in sequence no sequence and of him marrying her, crowd and ignite.

"kyunki main tumhare aur shyam ke baare mein jaanta hoon..." because i know about shyam and you...

sound pulls us into the vortex of emotions and feelings of that assertion.

"jaanta hoon ki tumhare aur shyam ka affair chal raha hai!"

i know you and shyam are having an affair.

"issliye ki maine tumse shadi."

that's why i married you.

he was holding her even then, when he told her she was just a low down home wrecker, a girl who is having an affair with a married man. his sister's husband.

his tense taut body seemed to want to hurtle into her. and she stood stunned.

here between heaven and earth and far away from the sweetness of pink walls or any other safety, any shelter in fact, here between life and death... despite body double, strange story line, apparently many problems during shoot, in fact some backgrounds are i think superimposed... they made primeval contact again. a man, a woman, an emotion.

and was there a story angle in there somewhere? just as the thought of her being in love with someone else drove him crazy...and made him do something he never would have otherwise... only for her; so did the thought of him loving someone else drive her crazy... and she did something she would never do otherwise? only for him?
i decided to read it that way.
though writing would not say that later. in fact he would tell his sister he did not love khushi when he married her. yeh sach nahin hai, i will hear myself say. but what is truth after all. and whatever it is, it isn't here. it is out there.

episode 246 first thoughts
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