arshi ff: without you... #2, chapters 14 - 27 **completed**

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indi52

@indi52

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Posted: 11 years ago

#621

Originally posted by: mpuhan
it was beautifully written

mpuhan,

so happy you like it. 😳

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Mysticaldivine

@Mysticaldivine

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+ 10

Posted: 11 years ago

#622

Nice one indi ,

couple of things took my attention.

their first night and sad song? but makes sense to me just like real ones they had kyuon dard hai itna...

So Shyam came back again and he wants to marry ...hmm interesting.

Back and forth in between fb , the SR finally happened the way you wanted😛

Suspence is all about Sheesh Mahal where we never had a chance to spend any time.

Thnx

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indi52

@indi52

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Posted: 11 years ago

#623

Originally posted by: aarwen
Indi di very very nicely written! Loved how you seamlessly wove bits from the show and mixed it all in to your story creating something new.. Arnav gifted her the black saree as the bday present .. By the way just wondering why did you choose a sad song for Khushi to dance on?
Oh and your Khushi was so much in character (or atleast how I imagine she would be 😊).. I can imagine her just this way.. very very shy inexperienced but desperately desiring more.. And adding in the sankaness moment was awesome.. In that instant can imagine Arnav's heart fill with happiness even more , if that were possible, and can also visualize that slightly shy grin that Barun gave at these times..
Next chapter or someday please please get Arnav to tease her a bit about all this.. we will get to see the "tumhari naakh phir se red ho gayi hai" ..please please..

hi aarwen,

phew... you enjoyed? me thrilled. sex can confound everything at times... told myself, try and wrirte thsi without using the word passion and throbbing 😆 don't get me wrong, i believe sex is a fabuulous thing but it's been stereotyped beyond belief...

based on feedback from rk up there. just edited the last bit a bit differently and added a word or two...

will certainly write the naak laal type of teasing if that is your desire 😆.

did you really like her sanka break out and could you actually see the smile on his face? awww. let me die.

why sad song... somehow i feel after he left, khushi was blown away by sadness... she could see beyond the gussa always, she knew, her saying not proper marriage had hurt him immeasurably, she wanted to tell him that and other things, so many things, so she took her own route and decided to dress for him, dance instead of say things with words... and chose a song that spoke of her remorse... her love... her need for him... and he was not familiar with it at all but the tone reached him and he got the point of course at "ro raha hoon main" of course, and stopped her. husband wife man woman, you hurt, you get hurt, you love, you get loved... all part of the deal... and he could not bear to think of her in tears anyway...

Edited by indi52 - 11 years ago

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indi52

@indi52

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Posted: 11 years ago

#624

Originally posted by: slakhani
Perfect. It's perfectly a little bit Khushi and the rest is Arnav. I really like the chapter. I can't wait for the next one though - where is Khushi, what is happening. That psycho getting off from jail as if taking a leave from his 9 to 5 job saying he's getting married...unbelievable. As i said can't wait for more. Please update soon.
Thanks,

Sony

thank you and thank you again.

sony, where is the psycho... teehee 😆

you know in tihar jail, new delhi, stranger things have happened, 😕 i recall charles sobhraj used to run a drug or something racket from there, the killer of jessica lal recently got leave to attend his brother's wedding, they also have vip cells i think... this shyam like crazy world exists out there and quite merrily, so i thought, why not the psycho ji... i think khsuhi should cal him psycho ji, what... 😆

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1987Trisha

@1987Trisha

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Posted: 11 years ago

#625

i love it love it loveddd it dear...

Arnav & Khushi making love...can't be better than the way you have described it...

i really hope Khushi is fine and soon Arnav will find her...

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indi52

@indi52

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Posted: 11 years ago

#626

Originally posted by: anu1017
Awesome update!!! Loved it😊

anu, lovely to see you... torturing you with two stories 😳. thank you so much.

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indi52

@indi52

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Posted: 11 years ago

#627

Originally posted by: mayurisb80
it was beautiful...but always a shadow of evil has to be over them when they are truly happy..i hope ASR can remove this black shadow permanently..

hi mayuri,

glad you liked it... yes, without taht shadow of evil... maybe asr and khushi would not have gotten so inextricably close so quickly... but i am working hard to make sure shyam ji has a permanent goodbye...😃

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indi52

@indi52

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Posted: 11 years ago

#628

Originally posted by: Atyay

Very nice. Loved it. 😊

atyay,

thank you so much. 😳

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indi52

@indi52

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Posted: 11 years ago

#629

Originally posted by: rk2127
Their first time was nice in your words as you said if it's not unconventional, crazy and cute it's not Arshi. But I don't know what but I felt something missing.

Will share if it clicks and I am able to put my figure on it.

Anyways all this suspense is getting too much for me how come Arnav knew Shyam took khushi to Sheesh Mahal?

Does really Khushi's real mom is responsible for Arnav's parents death?

rk,

what a thoughtful comment. thank you so much. thanks to that discomfort you express, i went back and read the chapter, i edited it a bit differently, adding a couple of words...

but please do tell me when it strikes you what seemed not quite right... i need to hear from readers if i am to improve he he. 😆

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indi52

@indi52

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Posted: 11 years ago

#630

Originally posted by: 1987Trisha
i love it love it loveddd it dear...
Arnav & Khushi making love...can't be better than the way you have described it...
i really hope Khushi is fine and soon Arnav will find her...

oh i felt so happy when i read that first line... 🤗

trisha, i hope to get this khushi thing resolved soon.. she will be back, they will be together... the story of asr and khushi in my head is fabulous, because they are one pair of lovers who got a chance to live... i am so glad we never had to see him die... that too might happen or maybe she will go, but your gut says clearly... not now... their is enough tie for all that.