FF:Khushi's story

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756120

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

FF: Khushi's story

Character sketch:

Khushi Shaikh: A 19-year-old girl who is shy, innocent , kind and religious.She is an open-minded person.Her favourite food is dal and rice.

Rafiq Shaikh: a 24-year-old boy ,cousin of Khushi, met her when he came to India. He loves her from the bottom of his heart.

Aneesa Shaikh:Mother of khushi,has suffered a lot in her life,a bubbly person,loves her daughter a lot.

Anees Shaikh:Father of khushi ,hot-tempered,angry,not a nice person.

Arnav Qureshi:A 22-year-old guy who is modernized and religious.He has his own company named before his mom Asma Qureshi. He has his own house,too.He loves his mom and dad.He is a loving and caring person.

Prologue

Khushi , who doesn't know what is going through her life. For her, her dad is an evil. She hates him a lot. She meets two guys in her life. She is very confused because of the guys. Will she able to overcome? Will she die? Will she even try to figure out what's going on in her life? On the other hand is her mom, who has suffered a lot and now at last she is free from that suffering and tortures every day.

hey guyzz plz tell me if i should continue or not i know u dont like the prologue but i can promise that u will love the story.

sophie😊

Edited by sophiagoody - 12 years ago

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Frequent Posters

756120

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

Hey guyzz I know you all are thinking that its such a worst prologue and character sketch but trust me the prologue is going to be more interesting tomorrow.Today bcoz of my mom I couldn't do anything sorry guyzz. 😊 😆

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756120

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

Chapter 1:

22 feb 2004

Khushi:mummy leave it he is not gonna listen leave it he is never gonna change.

Khushi's Mom:crying..When will he change?Everytime we suffer this I can tolerate this but you... I dont know what to say.We think till now he is gonna change why?why?Lets leave it on Allah.

Khushi:Lets sleep I have school tomorrow.

Khushi's Dad enters

khushi and khushi's mom trys to sleep but khushi's dad come and he turns on the television loudly.

Khushi's Dad(comes near khushi's mom and khushi)says to khushi's mom:u can do anything u r a characterless women and curses her and all.

Khushi:plzzz dad stop it i have school tomorrow but he continues his torture to khushi's mom.

TODAY,

22 DEC 2011

Khushi studies in one of the school in USA.

Her mom is working hard and struggling though is having a peaceful life.

I KNOW GUYZZZ ITS A SHORT ONE BUT I GOT ONLY ONE LIKE SO I WANT TO KNOW IF I SHOULD CONTNUE THE STORY OR NOT PLZZZ LIKE ND COMMENT😃

Edited by sophiagoody - 12 years ago

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Shariqa_here

@Shariqa_here

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

Hi hun...interesting start
what you have done here looks more like you have started your chapter with dialogues so we know what is happening but because you haven't given enough background info before it, it is a bit hard to understand why it is happening.

Perhaps a little bit more info please..like what is the main course/objective of this story? What is it going to contain? i.e. comedy, tragedy, love or mature content, etc? Why is Khushi's dad so bad? Who is the other boy (you have mentioned only one boy in the character sketch)

That will just give your readers a rough idea on what to expect and will interest them further.

I liked your start and would like you to continue👍🏼

Nevertheless, there are times i login from my ipad which is not compatible with IF and I cannot post comments then but I'm able to click like from my ipad so that is one thing I can do at all times. For comments and pms I really have to logon from my laptop so please do bear with me if you don't see my comments at times.

Edited by Shariqa_here - 13 years ago

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Gazal..

@Gazal..

Voyager

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

Hi dear..

A very nice prologue of ur story. I m really eager to know how ur story unfolds.😊

I hope u wouldn't mind if i point out something to u😳

Actually, what i feel...is that don't use large font size...as fas i believe...large font size doesn't look good.The font that u used in prologue is good👍🏼

And I agree with Shariqa_here give us a bit more info ..

After reading prologue i m eager to read further parts of ur story. I hope u didn't mind that i mentioned some points here...Even m not perfect in writing...but just thought of sharing some tips that i have learnt from my seniors.

Do continue soon...Eagerly waiting for next part.😊

All The Best..!! Happy Writing.!!👍🏼

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gaurigupta

@gaurigupta

Beginner

Posted: 13 years ago

wonderful...:)😳 keep writing <3

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756120

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

Guyzz I am updating my next part on sat-sun

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756120

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

First of all, I would like to thank Shariqa_here, Gazal.. and gaurigupta for their wonderful comments and encouragement.

Here we go...

Chapter 2

continues from 22 dec 2011

12:00am

Khushi's Mom calls her and wishes her as she lives on campus(living in college) and studies in University of Maryland.She is completing her bachelors degree now.

Khushi's mom:HAPPY BIRTHDAY Khushi.

Khushi: Thanks mom (cheerfully).

Khushi's Mom:Ok you have to sleep right.What time is your first class?

Khushi: Its at 2:00 pm.

Khushi's mom: ook then see ya bye.

Khushi sleeps and is thinking what happened in these years and so many things are changed.

Flashback starts

6 october 2011

Khushi's mom:I am tired of this we are going to call the cops right now.

(This was after a big fight between Khushi's mom and Khushi's dad.He was cursing her a lot.He was phsically fighting with her and what not.)

Khushi's Mom:(crying)plz leave me right now.I dont want to create a scene right now on the road stop it plz.

Khushi's Dad:You want to go to the police station, Lets go(with so much anger and dragging her)

Khushi:Leave her,Leave her plz.

Some people saw this and came in front of Khushi's dad and asked him whats the problem.

Guy:(came in between Khushi's dad) Do you have any problem with this women?

Khushi's dad:(with an innocent face)No not at all.

Guy:I dont care but we are calling the cops right now.We dont want any women to be crying and pleading on the street.

The cops came and did the investigation.They inquired and arrested Khushi's dad.After that they(Khushi and khushi's mom) left for the police station.

Khushi's mom:(crying)what could be happening inside?is he ok?well lets see.

Khushi:Plz stop thinking about him.

Khushi's mom:(suddenly feeling dizzy and was not well because khushi's dad beated her a lot)lets go to the hospital.

Then they left for north shore hospital.The ambulance was called.

Khushi's mom:I think so we should call Bhabhi and inform them.

(bhabhi was Khushi's mom close person who used to know her from 10 to 15 years and khushi's mom converted from a hindu to a muslim religion)

Khushi's Mom called Bhabhi and told her what happened.Bhabhi panicked and told her she is coming right away from India.But then her husband(Nilesh-Khushi's mom's rakhi brother)calmed her.She was really concerned for Khushi.

FLASHBACK ENDS

Suddenly,she woke up because of some noise outside the window.She got up and saw the most shocking scene ever.

So whats next what do you think guyzz what did khushi saw?did she saw arnav?or no?or someone from her past?

Plz comment and like.Waiting for your precious comments and likes.😃