OS: Uncertainity

Hi.. 😊 I know I havent written anything lately and it was plainly because I had no idea what to write. If i force myself, there's defo not going to be any life in it.. =) Anyhow, here's something I typed away after watching a movie and hope you like it. 😳

Khushi sat in her bed, lost completely in her thoughts, not being able to decide on the major step she was going to take. Probably it should go like this- Whether she would take the big step or not.

She pursed her lips from trembling and she didn't want to cry. She was not a girl that breaks frequently during tough times. She was strong, she was determined, and she reformed her heart from flesh to some sort of metal that does not melt away for the charms.

But Arnav had brought the heat to her heart melting it away gradually, moulding it into something else, feeding her minds with hope and confusing her with his feelings.

She was clear as crystal not wanting to be bounded in the name of a marriage, unlike her mother who wanted to be married just because she loved the idea of being in love. Khushi had thought that because it was that her mother wasn't matured enough and she was not provided with proper education and life that taught her how a real life marriage would be.

Garima was left back alone, made to struggle with the unborn child in her womb. She had died not able to accept the fact that her husband had left her and at once she gave birth to her girl, she closed her eyes, permanently.

And Khushi was orphaned since then. Her aunt, Madhumati, offered to adopt her, she did, and she had brought up Khushi into what she was now. Madhumati was happy that Khushi was not like her mother who always dreamt that a prince would sweep her off her feet. Khushi was way more practical for her age and she had never ever glanced over a guy with an idea to share her life.

Madhumati strongly believed that Khushi will be able to stand in her legs, when she closes her eyes and that relieved her. She will have better answers to give her sister, if she was destined to meet Garima in the hereafter.

But now, the situation has gone reverse. Khushi was feeling uncertain of her determination. Madhumati was feeling that it would be better if Khushi says 'yes' to Arnav. After all, khushi might need a support after her life.

Khushi's mind clouded with memories and strong urges and not to mention, her ego. She was told about her mother when she was little. Her mother didn't live with his father, Madhumati never married, there are many who had been widowed and divorced in her family.

Neither proved her a promising relationship with men and that sort of made her lose trust in marriages. That does not mean she is arrogant towards men. She had friends who are male. They had been a better support and comfort whenever she felt low.

But Arnav's entry into her life had changed everything.

He was introduced by her friend Payal, whose husband, Akash, was a friend of Arnav. They together have bonded very quickly than expected and they almost spent every moment having fun and time of their life. They had sleepover at Akash and Payal's place, where NK would join them and entertain them with his 'flawless' Hindi.

They were thought to be inseparable until one fateful evening.

Arnav offered to drop Khushi at her home after the sleepover and while she was about to get off the car, he pulled her into a kiss, shocking her. What further infuriated her was the proposal from him even after he very well knows what her views are about commitment.

She refused to face him since then and even dreaded to go for NK's wedding which was around the corner. He went to NK's today, told him she won't able to make it to the wedding and handed him her gift.

He was shocked that she won't be coming for his wedding and it made him fall into an unexplainable sadness. NK himself was an orphan brought by an Ashram and Khushi had been more than a sister.

But Khushi had her reason for not going.

She cannot face him.

Somewhere deep inside her heart she had developed a soft corner for Arnav. She doesn't know when that exactly happened. Somewhere in the middle of the tales and jokes, and the comforting moments, she had lost it.

Like a breeze he brought joy into her dry life, he made her laugh, play, sing and dance. She felt difference because of him. But they only scared her of losing her will power. She cannot trust men. At least not in the way her mother did.

She had ignored the situations to have a direct encounter only was to protect herself from falling for him. She has issues and those issues are not deserved by him. He was a nice guy and he has potential to get way more proper ones. Unlike her messy self.

That was the only reason why she had backed off from making to NK's wedding and now she was in her room feeling bad for whatever happened and for letting herself loose.

She tried to divert her mind from all the regrets and what ifs only to hear her door bang open. She saw Arnav standing at the door way glaring at her with his orbs spitting fire.

He rushed to her sides, grabbed her arm and hauled her to stand before him.

'Did you say you won't come to NK's wedding?' He asked with a low voice which was filled with anger.

She turned her face from him not wanting to look into his eyes more than scared of her from giving into him. She kept telling herself not to trust men.

He turned her face by gripping her chin and spat deathly. 'Did you?'

She nodded determined now looking into his eyes as if to let him know that she meant it and she was never going to back off from what her mind told her so far.

'What's your problem, Khushi?' he voice broke.

She stood still not comprehending what he was pointing to talk about.

He grabbed her shoulders and shook while he uttered, 'Did I disturb you in anyway after you said you don't wanna face me? I made sure I was not in your vicinity. But why are you making me feel like a pervert?'

She had never intended to do it and when he admitted what was he feeling she felt her heart twist. She badly wanted to accept what he proposed. But she could not just give in. what if her child was made an orphan? Will she be able to take in the scenario where her child was brought up by a relative woman? At least in her case, Madhumati was a mother she could never have, but will it be the same if her child was left alone?

No, she doesn't want this.

'What are you dreading about? That what if your child was orphaned just like the way you are made to be, right? Is every father leaving his child to suffer? Is every husband leaving his wife alone? I assure you, Khushi, I would never do that! Sometimes, in life, you gotta believe certain things without proof.'

She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but truth.

'Khushi, I can see the longing in your eyes to live. Why don't you just give it a chance? You won't be deceived', Arnav promised as his eyes broke into tears.

Before it could spill, he rushed out leaving her alone. He would have just left it her way if she wasn't interested. But after knowing she likes him and it's only her past stopping her, he could not digest it. He didn't want to give her up for a silly mistrust and thus he decided to pour out his heart. The last straw was dumped in his lap when NK sadly narrated what happened and hence, the outburst.

Khushi broke into tears, her confidence shattering, and her will power smashing. She fell on her bed crying and letting her heart out to vent for some time. Years' pain were gushed out in that cry, hoping to relieve her from her past, and trying to provide her with a prosperous life she deserved.

***

NK's wedding was taking place while everyone had crowded around them to be couple to wish them a happiest life. NK's friends were seated together so that they could have their own time relishing their friend's promotion into a new life.

One by one the rituals were made as per the religion framed it and everyone turned towards the entrance when they saw a guest hurriedly striding in. Arnav noticed the change in the atmosphere as he hesitantly turned to look who it was.

There stood Khushi clad in a grandly sequenced pink colour lehnga making everyone drop their jaws.

She saw everyone noticing her and she saw her gang of friends give her a surprised smile. She walked towards them and took her seat while she attempted to look at Arnav who had quickly turned away realising it was her.

She kept stealing glances at him unable to control herself and when she looked back at him again, he was gone.

She felt disappointed and her heart wrenched with his absence and she felt the atmosphere which didn't hold him suffocating her.

She quickly walked towards the entrance and looked around to find him walking towards his car. She ran in his direction hoping to stop him before he could zoom off. She reached him at the parking lot and turned him placing her hand on his shoulder only to receive a surprised and shock mixed look from him.

He felt guilty for his outburst last night and avoided looking into her eyes while she looked at him directly into his eyes hoping he would read the message.

'Arnav..' she whispered lightly.

He saw her eyes and was immediately captivated into that swirling pool of emotions. He saw remorse, longings, warmth and what not. He found no words and he had nothing to depict here after. He had spoken a lot.

'Why am I feeling that I'm going to have a dozen of babies?'

His orbs searched her curiously before she spoke what was in her.

'Is it because I have begun to trust that you'll be there for them?'

His lips slightly curved.

'I'm sorry, Arnav. I now know you'll be a father that no one had ever had!'

With that said, she crashed into his chest trying to soothe her watering eyes. Arnav's eyes let a tear fall in overwhelmed happiness as he hugged her back.

'I promise…', He whispered in her ears only to get back a kiss in his chest.

Okay, this was an inspiration that I had from a tamil movie I just watched where the lead female is deaf and dumb and feels insecure about marrying someone. The movie's name is Mozhi and it is one of my ever green favs. And regarding the OS, I hope you liked them and it goes for the people who PMed and scraped me to write. Thank you, really!

And in my siggie, you can find my index if you're interested.

Love,

Nafee. 😳

nice update...