Crooner 1.11: Awakening! Upd Priya's Note Pg32 - Page 25

Originally posted by: -SH-

"Kaise soti hai yeh... Ghar pe toh aise nahi soti.."

Iss raaz ko kya naam dun.. 😆

"I guess yeh meri aadat hai.."

Awww

Originally posted by: arch_nat1112

Agar bhej sakte ho toh nothing like it! 😃 Love you! 🤗

Originally posted by: indi52

i watched them intently last night. he reclined next to her, balancing his body with one hand on the bed, almost as though he wanted to make sure he was not touching her. bare torso gleaming, a peculiar hunger in his eyes, but no, it was not lust. (Beauty...that scene was like poetry..he was covered so covered with grace..love...right...there was actually no hurry..to touch her..claim her..)

to her: yeh aap kya kar rahe hain? he said all he wanted to do was look into her eyes and read her heart. the very truth of it. the most melodious sequence of shots went by as he looked at her and she gazed back rapt. i forgot this was only acting. perhaps they did too. (😊)

kya dekha aapne?

accha hua ki hum gire.

gire, hum gire, fell, we fell.

i don't know exactly what arnav singh raizada meant. perhaps he referred only to their little tumble a few moments before. it afforded him a providence and ma-in-law bestowed chance to play his beautiful wife a wee bit more. it unsettled her and her real feelings peeped out. especially when he said her hands were quivering; even more, when he teased that she must have been happy that he fell.

first time i heard him speak of devi maiyya, that too to bug her. oh delicious intimacy. and how rattled she was when saw him sitting on her bed, unbuttoning his shirt, again a barrage of forbidden thoughts, she was flustered. he enjoyed breaking in a little past her cool, can do it all barrier. the awakening of her senses was such joy to watch. her lips sort of trembly, her tone unsure, questioning. smile, he commanded; in top form, heart throb raizada. when he pulled her close, her eyes found his lips, his lazily teased, then just a touch of finger tip on pert nose. wasn't that a kiss. n she actually gave in...his smile reminded her...not here...not now.I'll make it better then this..OUR FIRST KISS...Dreams unlimited 😃

but arnav singh raizada is no ordinary man. that falling most certainly was also about falling in love. beyond the physical, within ourselves, love is an instinctive plunge into an emotion whose bounds we don't really know, and yet we can't keep ourselves safe from it, we just must fall, must let go, must go deeper, be submerged, must submit, only then we feel this is indeed love.

no logic, no rational measures. it just happens, never know who will ring your bell. lavanya was such a perfect match but he didn't fall. shyam had he been unmarried might have been considered ideal for her, even she might have thought so, remember her assertion that shyam was a finer man and had the kind of wealth you don't keep in banks. but did she fall for him? ah love.

gets under your skin.

yet looking further still into the word "fall" and thinking of day before's episode and the crooner thereafter, i came upon another word that has come up again and again. ego.

arnav's ego, khushi's ego. ego isn't a bad thing, but if there's no opening of the ego how will love enter, or for that matter flow out? actually, love really strikes when we let the ego shatter a bit, i felt. if the sense of "i" doesn't fall away a little, how will "you" be allowed in? let your ego fall, let that feeling called love rush in, then plunge deep. no need for sarson ka tel malish, you will ache forever. and wish the damn pain never gets less. and don't worry about the ego, if it was strong to start with, it will build back seamlessly.

he has only 12 days, one is almost over. so why isn't he rushing a bit? why this laid back pace? left alone with khushi, he made her work and watched in delight every move of hers. "hurry up," he said but took his own sweet time. he had her at that "aapne kya dekha," (actually he had her way before, and when with that quizzical look and the galaxy's most tender smile he looked at her he had everything in that room and me) yet again he let her off with a sweet sexy touch your nose.

again i remembered their exchange just a day back. "biwi ho meri, huq hai tumhara... mujh..pe," and later in his office: just ask him for the money, it's her right as his wife, her huq, if she can't say it out loud, let her come closer and whisper it to him. is that what he is trying to do? give her a sense of her right? make her understand that she has the right to get as much as to give? does he know that his beautiful bride, orphaned at eight, has never been able to take a thing for granted, therefore never thinks of her place, her claim in the universe. does he want her to not just accept him as her pati but ask for what is rightfully hers as his patni. this is too stunning a thought, too too beautiful. i can't breathe.

i don't know what he wants her to realise. but it's far more than just a game to get khushi to give in. and maybe he too is longing for someone to exercise a right over him, make him a part of themselves. arnav singh raizada has allowed his ego to break and let khushi kumari gupta in. again and again he lets it crack and fall away, so that he can fall for her again and again. earlier it would happen without his knowledge, know he knows but doesn't put up much resistance.

the maximum wall of ego he allowed to build and blot out love was the night of the wedding. but we have traveled far from there.

but did you notice there fall was so reminiscent of the one on the day she was going to kill herself? that time he jerked her close then pushed her off him. divya wondered why when they collapsed to the floor today did they play the sad rabba ve. i wonder too. maybe because there is a sadness in the situation too. and what if 12 days aren't enough?

before i end, one last thought.

both arnav and khushi, lost a lot of their childhood, thanks to the severe trauma. khushi merely eight, arnav just a bit older at 14 or 15, but still a child. have you noticed how kiddish they get sometimes, both of them? are they both also living out unfulfilled parts of themselves with each other? and in doing so also is a beautiful trust growing?

too many thoughts today. if i flip through from crooner 1.8 to 1.11, almost every quote is in my head, every pondering we've all had. the story is getting more and more dense.

it is melting and sinking like butter into me.

ice cream chocolate malt whisky wine.

neruda's puma is stalking.

on anjali

i am confused. why must arnav have to show so much concern so much care? is there something we don't know? why does she not speak of khushi? why are we suddenly hearing arnav promise her: hamesha? doesn't disturb. only intrigues. i just know i don't know.

on garimaji

why the heavens make a mum. khushi may be an orphan but this is her mother, with all the raging yet giving love of a mother in her. she can slap khushi, but can she ever disown her or even say such a thing. khushi knows that, her little hurt part is not because garima failed, but because some hurts never mend entirely. and when mother likes the man you love, you're on a roll, babe.

😊 😊 😊 forgive the supreme and fairly all over the place ramble.

Lovely as always...

Black and red:FLOORED...which planet you go..to think and comprehend..my inability to think and dive soo deep and ur ability to put thoughts in precise words...AMAZING...👏

Originally posted by: shwetachauhan

Hey Vidhathri!! You just said what I have also been feeling all these days!! 😊 Somehow, that moment stayed with me when he admitted to Akash that he wants to talk to her..! I was so surprised to know that this reserved guy wanted to share his feelings too, natural but surprising for me!!
And these days, even i think a lot of the same moment when I see him talking with her, enjoying playing these games with her!! Or even when they are quiet, like that night when Shyam was thrown out, at the poolside, at the stairs, I love that he has someone now to share his feelings with!! 😊

Originally posted by: bs_deeps

What a brilliant update that was...Totally loved it..but the above part touched me completely..

Whenever I read your updates, there is definetely a disturbance, some call or some work..I dont know why, but that became a sentiment..I am following the crooner for more than two months now and till now I was not able to reply to your post..today me breaking my curse..read your post completely in one go, loved it & me replying here..wow..me so happy

Originally posted by: --Nishita--

Check your dabba😳

Originally posted by: arch_nat1112

Hayeee... Mera dabba dhanya ho gaya, sweets! Thanks! 🤗