OS- The Last Letter

Khushi leaned back on the terrace wall, her hands clutching her knees and hugging them close. She watched as the first rays of sunlight flitted across the sky and then in a few moments the darkness had vanished to give way to a slight red glow smudged in blue, her eyes stared blankly at the magic before her.

She sighed and bent her head, it was now a year since she had stepped out of Shantivan, an entire year of pain and emptiness, to everyone else she had moved on and made a life for herself but deep within she was still aching, longing for him but knowing that doing so would only harm her. She glanced at the letter beside her and looked at it in pain, she remembered how she made him promise that he wouldn't follow her to Lucknow, she made him promise that he would let her free.

He had kept his promise and not tried visiting her but yet his presence still lingered in the endless letters that he sent and the phone calls that she hadn't bothered answering. Every letter since the time she left told her about a part of him that even she did not know, she did not write back but they kept coming, it was as if he believed these letters to be his last hope of getting her back, they revealed to her what a man like him could never tell her in speech. She sighed knowing that reading them would only weaken her resolve to stay away and hold on to her decision to try and be happy but she still hadn't figured out how she would keep smiling when each day without him, each day without his presence was only killing her slowly and tortuously.

Khushi pondered over how her life had been in the past year, she had opened her own sweet shop and seemed to have a pretty settled life, Babuji was getting better and everyone had quietly accepted her separation from Arnav but her life had become empty, dark and painful, she never let it show but if one peeked into her room at night he would be met with the sight of a person crouched in bed, weeping and holding on to old memories, crying for relief but all she had manged to hold on to was her decision of staying apart from him.

Arnav's letters had kept coming and Khushi had kept reading even after knowing that they threatened to bring down her walls of firmness and make her weak, she kept reading them silently and crying when she did not have it in herself to hold anything against him, after each letter she would firmly tell herself that this was just him trying to bring her back and if she ever went back things would still be the same as they once were, painful.

Khushi glanced at the letter once again, the first few letters that he had sent had the same sentences and words, pleading with her to come back.

She had clutched on to them and then locked them away when she couldn't help thinking of changing her mind but then something changed, he did not ask her to come back, instead it contained fond memories of him ,memories of them, the letters became different, he stopped pleading instead the letters now told her about how much she meant to him.

' The time I saw you wearing that red saree and then yelled, I was not angry, I was just afraid of being drawn into something I feared, Love'

These words, they were words which Arnav would never tell her, he wasn't even able to wish her on her birthday but the letters showed her another side, a side that still remained unknown to almost everyone. Khushi closed her eyes shut trying to push away the things that he had written, she kept asking herself why she read them when the only thing they were doing was making her weak and deprived of something that she loved.

Khushi looked back at the letter, she knew she would read it, it was impossible, they were the only things that made her feel close to him, made her believe that he was alright. She slowly opened that 12th letter from him, her eyes tearing up and her hand shaking in anticipation to know what he had written this time.

Khushi clutched the letter close as endless tears streamed down her face, tears that symbolized the break down of the final remains of the strong walls that she had put up, each letter slowly made it crumble and crack and now the last letter had crushed it all, destroyed it, everything was now down and she did not know how to pull it back up, she couldn't. He loved her and was going to let her stay away and find happiness, but there was no happiness, there never would be any without him, without them. She hugged her knees close and cried, trying to hold on to the crumbled remains of the walls but she couldn't, it was not possible for her, he had brought it all down with his letters that spoke of who he really was, that part of him that he never expressed and kept hidden, his love. Khushi rose up, it was time to leave it all behind, she wiped away her tears with trembling hands and smiled, she needed to go back.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Khushi walked up on trembling feet, the stairs seemed like mountains but she kept moving. It was 8 am in the morning but she knew that he would be here, engrossed in work, the first one to be at the office. She tried to slow down her beating heart, it seemed like it would soon explode, she tried telling herself that she was here to just meet him, but she knew that it was something else, she wanted him back and this time forever.

Khushi stood outside the glass doors and her eyes filled with tears to see him after so long, he stood with his back facing her, his shoulders slumped and hands folded, it seemed like he was staring at something intently, she couldn't contain the tears and the ache in her heart that pleaded with her to step forward and go to him, it was him, she was finally here, near him.

She stood lost in a trance, just taking in everything, the same old waistcoat and spotless black clothes. When he stepped aside her breath caught, right before her was a picture of her smiling next to him, holding the bangles that he had given her. She smiled through her teary eyes, he loved her and this man would never show it but he really did, how could he expect her to find happiness without him.

Khushi stood frozen when he turned to face her, his eyes tired and moist, a small sad smile on his lips, she took in how much he seemed the same, yet he had changed, the hardness of his face, the frown, it was all gone, he looked more gentle. She saw him lift his head and look up and for a minute everything stopped, time stood still and the only thing that remained was them,nothing else. She saw his eyes suddenly turn bright, the sadness slowly disappearing and being replaced with something warm, hope. She watched silently with a small smile, her tears not stopping but flowing endlessly and drenching her in joy, they were tears of joy. He strode forward and looked into her eyes and smiled knowingly when he read it all, she was back.

No words were exchanged, their eyes spoke volumes as two people who had been apart for too long drank in as much as they could of each other, she watched as his eyes teared up and he smiled, a full smile, one that she had only seen occasionally. She closed her eyes when he flung his arms around her, his warmth making her feel alright, the pain slowly being erased and the happiness seeping throughk. She pushed herself closer and sighed she was back, she was home, finally.

twas so painfully beautiful...