I am really sorry for the late post...but frankly, i was not able to find words after the episode...i was in complete shock by the intensity, it aired yesterday n i was not expecting it...it took me off balance!
Still, I have not recovered from the after effects of the episode, but i really wanted to write this!!
"di ka aur'khushi ka khayal rakhna" the words came out n this was the first time he was considering someone else besides his di. What was it that after so much pain, so much hate, so much misunderstanding, he still want her to take care, he still want her to be safe.
"khushiji se baat ki jiye" , akash said.
Arnav wanted to, khushi wanted to...they wanted to hear each other, they wanted each other!
Khushi was silent, she couldn't give words to her thoughts, she wanted to hear him for so long, she wanted to say so much, but this moment took all over, she can't speak, her hands were trembling, she wanted to say "come back" but the words were stuck in her throat, this moment, she can't breathe, its getting difficult to bear the pain of their distance, its getting tough to hold on to the feelings that she has holded for so long.
There is always something when we meet but the distances, them being apart, has got one thing that there is everything after we part. The body can be detached but the soul remains intact. She came to phonen he can hear her unspoken words. When u r in love, u don't need voice, u don't need language to speak, it's the silence that speaks more than the words. he can feel her . he can sense her. he knows, that she has lots of things to say but she is unable to put words.
"khushi"
She heard him, she heard her name. the air stopped around her, the world got revolved around her. everything got faded in front of her eyes. She heard him after three days, but it seems like she hasn't heard him forever. Her name never sounded so meaningful, the unspoken feelings, unspoken words, everything was so loaded with her name. she wanted the moment to stop, she wanted to just listen to him, to the feelings, he was hiding, the feelings that are silent but still speaking volumes.
He knows her, the absence of him had made her vulnerable. Her silence was painful, the chirpiness, the happiness was gone, the air felt heavy around arnav, he knew how the pain of his leaving has broken khushi n he knew the tears that are flowing through her eyes, the pain of their distances, their separation, the pain of hatred, the pain of love, everything must have broken his khushi n she must have crumbled down into tears, he didn't need to see her to know that how her tears were flowing, that how broken she was.
"kh..khushi, I am fine, main thik hu, ok"
N she broke down, she couldn't imagine anything wrong happening to this man she loved, but hearing it from him was like a relieve that washed over her .
He wanted to be with her, to see her, to console her, to love her. the pain that is evident in this silence was cutting through his heart, the pain of her being so far was cracking his nerve, he knew her breakdown, he is feeling the same. He wanted to cry, he wanted to ease this pain but he can't breakdown now, if he does, then it will break her, kill her. he wanted to say so much but he couldn't find the words.
"please, mat ro"
N that's all he could say, he can't imagine her tears but can feel it. He can't comfort her but can feel the longing. He can't take all this anymore, he can't see her chirpy n bubbly khushi to go through all this, he always wanted to give every happiness in his power but he always gave her hurt. The hatred that he began, was the biggest mistake. The pain in his heart will outburst anytime, n this could not happen. He could not show his pain, his hurt, his suffering now to khushi, it will just make the things worse.
"khushi, stop, rona band karo"
She could sense how desperate he sounded to comfort her, she knew, that her love, her husband may seem to be very strong n hard from outside but he is the weakest person from inside, she knew, if she is feeling the unbearable pain n loss, then he is in no more good, she can sense, how strongly he is trying to be calm, the words "stop, rona band karo" is actually more to his heart then her, he is broken n shattered n she can feel this, but she can't understand the reason behind all this.
"khushi main, khushi main who, khushi I LOVE YOU"
The world stilled, everything seemed blur...he said it, she heard it...the words were out.
Every emotion, every happening escaped, he couldn't control his emotions anymore, he couldn't hide it anymore, he can't live by the silence n the hatred faade anymore. He said the undeniable truth. This may have not been told before but their souls, their heart always knew. But some things need words n this exactly happened. He gave words to his feelings, he said this loud to the one person he always wanted to say. It was like, accepting his feelings, his love rather than confessing it. It was like all the pain was over, everything felt numb, everything got release, everything got tucked. He loves her n he has finally realized it more than confessing it!
Khushi stilled, stunned by the words she heard, he said the words, she heard it but it made the air around her heavy, all the pain n misunderstanding replaced itself by the love . she was trying to give the bond they have, a name, the relation they share, a word. But he said it before she could register it. Everything fell in place , nothing mattered anymore than the person saying these words. Everything around her felt complete. She felt complete.
I don't know what I wrote,I wanted to write so much but everything felt incomplete n I really fell short of words to describe the intensity, the passion they shared by saying just few lines over a phone.
I totally understand if my post doesn't make sense n u wanted to criticize it. You can!
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