Hello my dearies,
Moi back from dead faint after watching the lips tingling, heart thumping, mind guttering episode… Today, Arnav decided to see if my theory was correct about managing Immaculate Conception through smouldering gaze… After all he is God… Anything is possible…
(P.S. if that theory is correct, then we will soon see Khushi's fainting spell… mine has started already)
So far no one provided me awesome post to pimp, so here's my pimp-free analysis…
Scene: 1
Golgappa Khilao, husbandwa patao…
Harvard Medical School will soon release a paper on whether Golgappa can be considered an aphrodisiac… It's slightly tangy, slightly sweet, slighty spicy taste has been proven in Tellywood over and over to induce Golgappa Ve (Or the version thereof) back ground music… Then there are the option to bite the finger, licking the juice clean or kissing the juice clean… The possibilities are endless…
Indian Government has announced that they will patent Golgappa recipe as soon as the report gets published if US does not trip them over in that too…
ASR: Khushi is feeding everyone… Now it's my turn…
Khushi: *Buddy, I can read your mind.. remember? I am not feeding you anything until you beg me…*
Garima: Shall I feed you, darling… I mean son…?
ASR: *Shit… wrong signal* No no… I don't eat Golgappa…
Buaji: *If I am not feeding him, you ain't either*… Khushi, you feed him…
Khushi: *No way, you are winning this..* Let's not pressurize him… He does not want to…
ASR: *Damn… there goes my opportunity… Damn the pride… I am giving in* I will eat one…
Khushi: (Smirks & winks at fandom)… *Now comes ASR under Khushi… figuratively… but literal scene is on its way*… Here you go dear… And while I'm at it, let me wipe your lips in slow motion… I would have licked them clean but there are too many frustrated voyeurs present…
ASR: Best thing I ever tasted. Let's eat more until I puke…
Fandom: Awww… Khushi is feeding ASR…
Constructive Critics (looking strangely pea-green): Gosh… Khushi is so lucky… She is feeding ASR…. Twitch twitch… ASR is so sweet to let her feed God…
Me: Hummm… so far in this show, Khushi has bathe ASR, fed ASR, took care of ASR, scolded ASR when he was wrong, punished him for his wrong deeds, tucked him in bed, told him bed time story about Buaji's long lived creaky bed…
No wonder, ASR can't call Garima mommy… He already got one whom he can't call mommy without committing incest.…
Scene: 2
Ego, thy name is ASR…
Khushi: I know you said sorry through Golgappa. I forgive you.
ASR: *Damn… she read my mind again… Creepy psychic woman* Nope I did not say sorry and I will never say sorry…
Khushi: *Nice try buddy* Then why did you bring Golgappa?
ASR: *Don't wanna go there* Stop dreaming (I'm dreaming enough for both) That's my clothes. Don't touch them (Touch me instead)… *Shit… control your thoughts, ASR*
Constructive Critics: Awww… ASR is so damaged… THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM….
Me: Ummm… really? Whatever floats your boats, dears…
Scene: 3
Buaji Guest House
Neighbourhood aunty: I came here to invite you for my daughter's wedding. Is your richie rich son-in-law present?
Gupta family: Yes, see… he is gardening at night and unsuccessfully trying to eavesdrop. Let's start from your financial worries…
Neighbourhood aunty: Okay… I looked forever to find cheap but good looking invitation cards… Gold is so pricey, I have to get my daughter married to rich family but they can't arrange their own accommodation. So we are going to book guest house…. *Looking expectedly at ASR*
ASR: *God, such boring people. All they talk about is lack of money. Let's scoot…*
Neighbourhood aunty: *Shit, he left*
Khushi: Bring them here. Your rich soon-to-be-family will be totally comfortable in Gupta jhopra… We can just pile them all in the only room left and shut the door. No problem .
Garima: Won't son-in-law mind if we all sleep in the same room?
Khushi: What? No. You sleep in your room and we will sleep in ours. I meant pile the guests on kitchen floor and my ex-creep's room…
Garima: Let's ask him anyway, if he would rather sleep in same room…
Khushi: Okay fine.
ASR comes out as usual thinking the entire world revolved around his thoughts and his problems.
Buaji: Will you have any problem if…
ASR interrupts: No no, I don't have any problems…
Khushi: *I never thought I'd actually like his lack of listening capability one day. But he has dug his own hole as usual. So if I give him a little nudge, it's not my fault*. See, he agrees.
Neighbourhood aunty: *At least now I have one less expense to carry… I'm sure I will have more opportunity to mention my financial woes at the wedding*
Constructive Critics: Khushi is up to no good again… How dare she let people come into the house ASR is gracing with his divine presence?
Me: But ASR's air-conditioned temple is intact darling… He can go for hibernate as usual… He never showed his face in his bigger temple, Raizada mansion, that often anyway…
Constructive Critics: You, no good writer… You should be punished for this. But it's not too late. You can redeem yourself. Go donate $101 to production house to buy God's new shirts…
Scene: 4
Arnav ka pyaar Delhi ki sardi...
Buaji: Tea for you... Why is Khushi under blanket?
Khushi: I'm cold.
ASR: Give her another blanket...
Buaji: Why? Sanka Devi, your personal heater is here. Why are you cold?
Khushi: That personal heater has short circuit problem.
ASR: No. I don't. See my smouldering gaze, see me walking to you in slow motion, see me coming close to you, see I am reaching for you...
Fandom: Come on ASR... we are ready with birth controls...
Khushi: Shut up... Don't spook him... I'm finally gonna lose my virginity... Oh yes, baby... come closer...
ASR: See I am reaching for your... NOSE to poke...
Me: What? What the? What the hell?
Khushi: Damn... I guess I took the mothering thing a bit too far... Now he is not progressing past 5 years old kid with a crush...
Constructive Critics: Ooohhh ASR touched her noseee...
Me: Yes, so did my mom... to wipe off my snots...
Scene: 5
Khushi dancing, ASR prancing…
ASR: *Instead of closing the window when the AC is on, let's keep the window open so that Gupta's remember me by the 440 volt electric shock they will get, when it's time to pay the electricity bill*.
Khushi: Dhinka chika dhinka chika…. ASR ka baj gaya baja
ASR: Khushi… Why is there so many people?
Khushi: Miss X's wedding…
ASR: Who? What? When? Where? Why?
Khushi: Who is Miss X? Random nobody who is getting married
What is going on? Obviously her wedding and my opportunity to show you what you will be facing after your redemption track is over…
When you agreed for it? Last night. Next time pay attention to what you are listening and what are you agreeing for.
Where is the wedding? Right next door and yes, half of the guests will pile in the guest room and kitchen floor, so don't trip on them when you get up at night…
Why is that happening to you? This is what you get when you refuse to say sorry and/or I love you to Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada… Also, the fact that I'm still a virgin, is just another nail in your coffin.
ASR: *Shit… I don't know when I went from having a sex life of Tiger Woods to having the sex life of a pimply teenage boy... Wants it so bad but no way to get it…*
Constructive Critics: Poor ASR, baby ASR, coochie coo ASR… we will bash… sorry constructively pick Khushi's flaws in our posts… Don't worry…
Me: Sorry ladies, even ASR's mom's role is taken by Khushi now. How about aunty's role? Anyone interested?
Constructive Critics: SHUT THE F&*K UP…
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
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